Rating - PG
Type - Mostly Marsmallow fluff/silliness with a bit of angstyness in this one.
Pairing - Pre River and Jayne
Word count - 2833
Disclaimer - Not mine, not paid, please don't sue.
Warnings - None needed that I can see
Spoilers - None

Usual huge thanks to Ceslas for the betaing, any remaining cock ups as usual are mine all mine. There is stuff going on with Zoe that will intrude from time to time in this series because of something that seemed like a good idea in part two.

My heart is too much in control, the lack of romance in my soul…

Maurice, as it turned out the whore's name was, delivered a very drunk River with ho sin sauce and noodles down her front, back to Serenity in a rickshaw.

Jayne was hanging around the cargo bay waiting for her, grinning lecherously.

"D'ya get any?"

River glared at him woozily, she swung at him with all her might intending to break his nose, just for the symmetry of the thing. Sadly, her motor functions were too impaired by the substantial quantity of third class fizzy wine in her system mixing with the painkillers Simon had given her.

She weakly punched air, spun round and collapsed into Jayne's arms, passing out instantaneously.

Jayne frowned down at her inanimate form, "Were ya tryin' ta dance with me or sumthin'?"

Rick Plummer checked the security screen beside his bed before getting up to open the door. People who came knocking at two in the morning were not generally kindly disposed. Once he saw who it was he almost ran to open up, stopping just long enough to pick up a gun. It wasn't likely that a thief would dress up as Zoë to rob him, but he wasn't taking any chances.

When he opened the door Zoë took a step back to look him up and down.

"Was a time when you used to sleep fully dressed, wearin' your pack, covered in mud an' cuddling your gun." She took a good look at his purple pyjamas, noting the gold pinstripe. "Seems that's changed."

Rick hopped from foot to foot trying to stop the cold floor from freezing his feet. "Lots of things have changed Zoë," he replied crossly, "you used to be smart enough not to go wandering around a place like this at two in the morning on your own, however tough you are. Come in for Christ's sake, it's cold."

It wasn't until she fell across the doorstep and into his arms that Rick realised that she was drunk.

After dinner and a short theatre performance Kaylee led Simon in the direction of a Cortex screen, punched in the numbers for Serenity and pushed him in front of it.

Simon looked at her in wonder, "I don't deserve you."

"Don't you worry none Dr. Tam," Kaylee said, her voice as full of smiles as her face, "by the time I get finished wid ya, you're gonna be deservin' everythin' ya get."

The Cortex screen crackled to life and a tired and grumpy looking Jayne came into view.

"Sorry Jayne, just checking in on River."

"Saw her go ta bed not half an hour ago, ain't a thing wrong wid her a good night's sleep ain't gonna cure so can I get back to mine?"

"That's fine Jayne, sorry to wake you."

Jayne grunted and the screen went dark.

"See," said Kaylee, beaming "Everything's shiny, now ain't there a hotel room with a big bed an' a bath we gotta get too?"

Simon offered her his arm, "Yes Miss Kaylee, there is."

Mal was trying not to enjoy himself too much. Yes, Inara had consented to meet with his potential customer, but he wasn't going to read anything into it. The client and his wife were impressed that a rough around the edges transport Captain had turned up with a Registered Companion on his arm. As a result prospects were good for a profitable cargo to carry to Persephone. That and a comfortable amount of sake in his belly made him at peace with the 'Verse in general and the woman by his side in particular.

They'd had a pleasant dinner and now they were having a pleasant walk back through the streets towards Serenity.

Mal wasn't sure where he stood with Inara, but she was still on the ship. She'd arranged for some of her possessions to be shipped out to meet Serenity and the shuttle looked close to what it had when she'd been a permanent resident. If she took any clients Mal hadn't seen them.

What this might mean he didn't know and he hadn't got up the nerve to ask. But right at this moment things were good. He looked around the night streets, breathing in the cold air and found himself content. Except, what was going on over there?

"Mal, I …" began Inara.

Mal wasn't listening, "What the…" he snapped, shaking Inara's hand from his arm and starting forward. He was sure he'd just seen Zoë falling into Rick Plummer's arms on the doorstep of Londinium Guns and Ammo.

"Gorramn it! What's Zoë doin'…" by the time he reached the shop the door was firmly shut and Zoë was inside.

He was about to start hammering when Inara took hold of his wrist gently, but firmly.

"What are you doing Mal?"

Mal pointed at the door, "T-That was Zoë, in the arms of Rick Plummer."

"And?" asked Inara gently.

"What's she doing throwin' herself at him? That ain't sensible, the man's as close to sly as makes no difference and she ain't been a widow that long."

Inara frowned at him. "Why do you automatically assume she has gone to him for sex. Perhaps she has gone to him for comfort."

"She don't want comfort, you said it yerself you've tried, Kaylee tried, even River tried an she just looked at y'all blank and walked away."

"That doesn't mean she doesn't want comfort Mal, it just means she doesn't want it from us. Perhaps Rick is distant enough from her troubles for her to feel comfortable going to him. He went through the war with you; you and Zoë are an example of the strength of that type of bond."

"But…" Mal looked at the door his jaw working, fighting the illogical urge to kick his way in and drag his First Mate out of there.

Inara rolled her eyes and took his arm, "Come on Mal, let's go back to the ship." She had to tug at him a few times before he consented to put one foot in front of the other.

Mal frowned all the way back and when they got to Serenity he banged on the hatch for Jayne to open up and stepped inside grunting absently to Jayne and coming to a halt just over the step.

Inara took a deep breath; she needed to talk to him, even if he was in the middle of some self-induced feedback loop.

"Mal," she began, "Can I…"

"Huh?" Mal seemed to drag himself halfway back from a long distance, "Oh, yeah 'Nara, thanks for comin' to the dinner, I'll see ya in the morning." He nodded absently and went up the cargo bay stairs three at a time.

"I give up!" Inara glared after him.

"Hell I would, damn man's got his head rammed so hard up his pigu it's a gorramn miracle he can sit down." Observed Jayne, "Now if it was me you was pining fer, it wouldn't take more than a wave of yer pretty pinkie and I'd be there." He leered at her.

Inara opened and closed her mouth at Jayne; she badly, badly wanted to tell him that Mal wasn't the only man with that particular problem.

Unfortunately that would come perilously close to revealing River's feelings. Inara had not only promised not to but she was deeply grateful for Jayne's ignorance. It might be ignoble to hope that River's infatuation was something that she would grow out of, but she couldn't help it.

The object of River's affections continued to leer at her, just because she was there. She shook her head and resisted the unladylike urge to kick him.

"Goodnight Jayne," she said with dignity and glided gracefully in the direction of her shuttle.

8888888

Jayne stomped grumpily into the passenger dorms, thankful that the Captain and Inara had gone to bed so that he could get back to River. The girl was so drunk when he put her to bed she didn't even wake when he pulled the sweater off her. Jayne was sort of thankful the Doc was due to be out all night, he figured he could crash on the Doc's bed and if crazy started hurling in her sleep or something at least he'd be to hand.

Being nice seemed to be a whole lot more work than he'd planned for.

He'd already had to dump her sweater in the wash. Who would have thought a Core bred near enough eighteen year old couldn't eat better than a toddler.

On the way to the Doctor's bunk something occurred to him; he backtracked to pick up a bucket, a glass of water and some painkillers.