With the usual huge thanks to Ceslas for the betaing and encouragement.

You spin me right round baby, right round...

Rick had been concerned; the sheer force of Zoë's emotions had River reeling. Steadily it became easier as the wave receded and settled into a dull, cold ache. River could feel it like a steady throb, deep in her bones playing in counterpoint to the niggling percussion of trying not to think about Jayne and what Jayne was doing.

Rick, after asking questions misdiagnosed her apparent dizziness as hunger. Real cheese sandwiches and cookies, or as Rick put it biscuits, made an appearance with more tea in chipped mugs. It was brick red and steaming. He dumped enough sugar in her mug to make a far more stable person hyperactive.

River waited, senses on the strain, but without actually being able to see she understood that Zoë was not getting out of bed anytime soon, that at that moment Zoë wasn't sure if she ever wanted to get out of bed again.

Rick chatted away and River was relieved to have the distraction, with one mental eye pointed in Zoë's direction she listened. She got to hear some stories about the war that Mal and Zoë had never told her and found out why Rick wasn't at Serenity Valley. A bullet shattered his knee three weeks before the battle. Luckily, when he got home, patched up in the most basic way his father had enough money to pay for a replacement. River had the pleasure of poking both his knees to feel the difference. Rick rolled his eyes and moaned, "Yeah baby, do that again," making her giggle.

That led to talking about his father, who he obviously loved dearly and his brothers (Michael and Sammy). That led to talking about the business and that led to Rick reading out figures from the Cortex screen while River made calculations on a portable pad.

After an intense few minutes (that Rick spent watching her make calculations at dizzying speeds in complete awe) River presented him with her results.

"Blood-y hell!"

River beamed in pride vibrating with barely contained excitement. For a second she forgot Zoë and even forgot Jayne. A whole sea of new possibilities had just opened up for her; she'd need Kaylee's help but… Her smile faltered and then crumbled. A decision had been made and had fallen down on her like a tsunami.

"Jericho's walls are still falling, Captain Daddy will be crushed." She burst into tears.

Simon walked thoughtfully into the engine room, "Kaylee, I can't find her."

Kaylee removed her head from the engine, "Maybe she just don't want to be found?"

"But she absolutely promised she would always let me know where she was even if she didn't come out."

Kaylee fiddled with a spanner absently, "Ya think she's gone off the ship?"

Simon took a deep calming breath, he had faithfully promised his sister not to get in an over-protective tizzy at the slightest thing, but this wasn't the 'slightest thing', so that was one agreement void. "I think she must have, I know she can take care of herself but," Simon waved his hands uncertainly in the air, "Mal wouldn't let her go off the ship on her own and was angry with Zoë for leaving her, so…"

"So ya wanna go look fer her?" Kaylee thought that Mal was well on the way to having Simon beat when it came to overprotective tizzies in respect of River, but she kept that to herself. The only way for Simon and Mal to learn was for River to spread her wings and not get hurt, that being said, if she talked him out of going and River was in trouble… "Go on then, ain't like me an' 'Nara can't cope for an hour or two."

"I'll be right back," he dashed out, immediately dashing back to kiss her, "wǒ ài nǐ wú yáng guāng,"

She grinned at him, "I know. Check the arcade where we were yesterday, she seemed ta take ta Rick, mebbee she's gone there."

Jayne made it back to the ship in record time, he tried Crazy's room, and he tried the galley, then barrelled through to the engine room. He found Kaylee there absently twiddling a spanner though her fingers with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Ya seen Moony anywhere?"

Kaylee jumped, "Naw, she ain't on the ship, least Simon can't find her, he's gone lookin' for her. Hey?" she frowned, "ain't ya supposed to be getting sexed right now and," she squinted in the general direction of his head, "whatcha done ta ya hair, it's all stickin' up," she peered closer, "ya look like ya got dandruff, real bad too."

Jayne scratched at his head in frustration, releasing a flurry of soap flakes, "It's soap," he could see Kaylee getting ready to ask him about that and he broke in, "did the Doc have an idea where she'd be?"

"Who, River? Not really," she put her head on one side, "why d'ya want her so bad?"

Jayne's harassed mind got the wrong end of that stick, "Don't want her at all," he said defensively, "what am I gonna want with a crazy, skinny assed, girl." His face went sour, "Prolly stick a man in his sleep ifen she got the chance."

Kaylee was staring at him, eyes getting steadily wider. "Ya want River." she breathed, awestruck at the idea, eyes nearly dropping out of her head.

Jayne gaped, weren't that just like a girl ta jump to plain wrong conclusions, "I din't say that! You been sniffin' that grease stuff that made ya see bunny rabbits that time?"

Kaylee was grinning at him and bouncing on the balls of her feet, "Yeah ya do, it's written all over ya, an I thought it was just her…" Kaylee faltered to a halt.

Jayne took a menacing step towards the little mechanic, "Just her huh, ya tellin' me you knew 'bout this 'an ya din't tell me."

"Don't ya get snippy wid me Jayne Cobb," Kaylee snapped in a voice that sent Jayne straight back to his childhood, "can't say I knew, cos it ain't like she told me. It's just," Kaylee's face softened, "I seen her look at ya couple of times, when you weren't lookin', like ya hung the moon or sumthin'. Reckon 'Nara thought so to cos I caught her watching when River 'ud talk to ya liftin' weights 'an such." She looked up at Jayne standing there his face all baffled, looking like he didn't have a clue which way to go. "Do ya Jayne? Do ya want little River?"

Jayne's baby blues were looking over the top of her head, as if he seeing something far away, he shook himself and plastered a scowl to his face, "Gorramnit Kaylee girl," he growled in frustration, "Me n' the girl hooking up is the dumbest idea in all creation."

Simon was lost, he'd taken a wrong turn somewhere and now he didn't have a clue where he was. He took a deep breath. One of the first pieces of advice he'd been given about navigating around the less civilised parts of the 'verse was don't ask for directions, "Unless you wanna get robbed and left fer dead in an alley," was the way Kaylee had put it. He looked around, trying to look casual; there was no sign of any Peacekeeping officers so his best bet was to retrace his steps. Repressing the urge to start yelling 'River!' at the top of his lungs he looked into a shop window for a moment before casually turning and going back the way he thought he had come.

Mal had been brooding all night, Zoë had gone to Rick. He, Mal was her Captain, and they'd been through a little thick and a whole lot of thin together. If she needed to go to anyone it should be to him. Except you haven't actually encouraged her to do so said a treacherous internal voice. He told that voice to shut the hell up.

He was about half way to Old England Guns and Ammo when a familiar figure accosted him.

"Why Captain Reynolds," it was the wife of the customer Mal had been to dinner with the night before; Mal plastered a fake smile to his face. He was damned if he wanted to be bothered by the woman right now but business was business.

"Why Mrs. Weaver, ain't this a pleasure."

"You must come and have coffee with my friends and me," cooed the woman, gesturing to a pair of rather raddled, over made up ladies dressed in the height of fashion. "Mirabelle here," the taller improbably blonde one nodded, "her husband is the chief importer of grain products from the outer planets and Su-lin," the smaller lady nodded, "she has five of the most exclusive clothing emporiums on the planet. Do join us; I'm sure we could put some business your way."

Mal nodded graciously with a dashing smile, "my only regret ladies is I ain't got three arms so I could give a one to each."

As they led him in the direction of a Coffee house, all of them tittering Mal pulled together his devil may care Captain Persona and reflected that you might be shot at more with crime, but gorramn if it weren't more fun.

Kaylee scoffed "You n' River would be dumber n' me n' Simon? I don't reckon so."

"Nuthin's dumber than the Doc," replied Jayne on principle, barely noticing when Kaylee smacked him on the arm. "Girl may have gone a bit moony over me but it ain't gonna last, what's she gonna want with a fella old 'nough ta be her Pa who can't even say half the words she uses never mind spell 'em or know what they mean."

"Don't reckon that has a thing ta do with nuthin'."

"Yeah," Jayne dragged his hands through his hair again, "it does, can't look at her like trim cos she's so young 'an we're stuck on the same ship. She's gonna want stuff I ain't sure I'm made fer…"

"What?"

"Bein' with a girl all serious like."

"Din't you try swap Vera fer Saffron?"

"Yeah, but that were…" Jayne didn't have the vocabulary to explain it, "That were business," he caught sight of Kaylee's horrified face, "Ain't like I wouldn't have treated her right, just she wouldn't have been lookin' ta me, fer, stuff." He finished lamely.

"Stuff?"

"Kissin' 'an hand holdin' 'an hell I dunno, poetry, all that stuff girls seem ta like."

"Ain't sure what River 'ud be lookin' fer, but," Kaylee carefully controlled herself, since the idea of Jayne spouting poetry was too gorramn funny for words, "I think she knows ya pretty well, don't reckon she'd expect nuthin' fancy." She laid a hand on his arm, "it ain't about the fancy stuff Jayne. If it is then it ain't real. If it were would ya want her?"

Jayne looked down at her his jaw working, "Ain't gonna matter a cuss if I did, girl's just gotta crush, I'd just be getting' used to stuff an' she's gonna wake up an' see what a mean ole huan dan I am an' that'd be that."

Kaylee frowned, "Well yeah, it could happen, but it ain't like there's ever any guarantees Jayne. Don'tcha think I don't worry that Simon's gonna meet some elegant Core bred woman and leave me in the dirt. Can't run away from stuff just cos ya might lose it."

"But my Ma told me a girl just gets a crush for practice, like it don't mean nuthin' an' Trudie tole me River's got a crush…" Jayne gave her a completely baffled look, "Aw hell, I don't get none of this."

"Crush can mean a lotta things, I reckon River just looks at ya an' her world turns inside out cos she don't know that ya feel anythin' for her. I oughtta know. Damn near a year I had ta wait on Simon, he was nice ta me an' all, most of the time n' when he weren't he din't mean it. He just had the whole 'verse on his shoulders, was like I was just too much for him to deal with at first."

"Still don't think I got it in me," stated Jayne flatly.

"Well answer me this, if ya got with River would ya hit her? Cheat on her? Be mean ta her? Would ya push her inta yer bed a'fore she was ready?"

Jayne gave her a dirty look, "Well you just got the best opinion of me aint'cha. Hell no, Ma 'ud walk across the 'verse ta tan my hide."

Kaylee tried to picture that. Jayne got a capture one day in one of his letters. He'd passed it around nearly glowing with pride. In the centre of a big tribe of Cobbs was a tiny bird like woman he pointed out as being his Ma surrounded by towering men and surprisingly tall women. Woman looked like a breeze would knock her down but apparently she'd had three boys and two girls and lost her husband when the youngest wasn't but a baby. Somehow the idea of her coming all that way to sort out her errant son wasn't that ridiculous. But that wasn't the point.

"Ain't sayin' she wouldn't, that ain't the point, if ya din't have yer Ma ta set ya straight would you do those things?"

Jayne's jaw set, "'Course not, ya settle with a girl ya settle, ya do it right. Why'd ya think I ain't done it before?"

"So, I'll ask ya again. Do ya want River?"

Kaylee's toolbox was huge; Jayne sat on it and dragged a hand down his face. "Hell if I know, seems River an' ya's all got it figured out, I ain't known about it but an hour. Mal n' Simon 'ud kill me anyways so it ain't like…" His head shot up and his face set hard. "Ain't that just like a girl, got me tied inter knots." He jumped up, "I'm gonna find that Moonbrain an' set her straight about a few things."

Kaylee sighed, "Reckon ya need to look in the arcade, figured she mighta gone to Rick's Place. She seemed ta take ta him." She gave him a sly look, "Go on Jayne," she nodded to the door, "go find yer girl."

"Gorramn it!" Jayne bellowed making Kaylee jump, he punctuated his words with finger jabs, "fer the second time today I'm sayin'. She!" jab, "Ain't!" jab, "Ma!" jab, "Girl!"

Kaylee crossed her arms and gave him her best 'You don't scare me' look. "That's because you're a big dumb fraidy cat Jayne Cobb."

wǒ ài nǐ wú yáng guāng I love you sunshine