Tohru had been feeling dizzy and weak all day. Darn, how had she developed another fever? Her head hurt to the point where she could barely hear the teachers to take notes. Why now? There wasn't any big tests she was studying for.
After the third fever that Hatori graciously treated her for, he had suggested that possibly stress was what brought on these fevers. She became stressed. Her immune system became weaker. She was susceptible to bugs and other viruses.
So, what was causing this extra stress? Things were still a bit uncomfortable at home. She still felt like she needed to apologize to Shigure for mentioning things that were not her business. But still, this family was a part of her business. They had taken her in, like a stray puppy. They had given her a home and people to love. They were her family too. What ever hurt them, hurt her. And, no one hurt those she loved!
The hunt for a cure to the curse had taken a dark turn. She and Rin had secretly scoured every document in Shigure's vast library and filing cabinets. Tohru had even been reading his past novels to determine if there were some subconscious hints in the plots. Of course, it had been embarrassing to read about the main characters' sexual exploits, but she had gotten good at skimming that part. I mean, after a while, one paragraph describing heaving bosoms was the same as another paragraph describing that particular part of the body. It had taken a few days to be able to look Shigure in the face without blushing like a fool. How could such a seemingly nice man be so obsessed with lust and physical affection? Of course, it made sense in a way. He could not have these things in real life, so he created them in his fantasy life, where he could pretend to be the leading man who suffers through hardships, but in the end, gets the girl.
Their next avenue of exploration was Hatori's files. That would be harder to arrange. First off, it was hard to find a time when he left his office. Second, it was dangerous for both girls to be that close to Akito. Not only did he hate them both, but he had been willing to use physical violence in the past to express those feelings. Poor Rin had even ended up hospitalized. She had finally told bits and pieces of the story to Tohru, who, as always, was the supportive and listening friend that they all loved.
Tohru packed up her notebooks and textbooks and headed to her locker, dragging her feet. It was amazing the lengths that people will go to protect those they loved. Rin had endured Akito's attack, then removed herself from Hatsuharu's life to protect him. Hatori had endured Akito's attack and did not hold a grudge against the head of the family, even after being forced to erase the memories of the love of his life. Kisa had even been hurt once Akito learned of Hiro's love for the little tiger. Would Akito not let any of the Zodiac love another? Was it love itself that Akito hated so much? Didn't Akito ever love someone? Maybe that was the problem. Maybe in the past, Akito had loved and been forced to endure pain and had that love taken away? Could his actions be a reenactment of something that had happened to him?
As she stuffed the books she would not need to take home in her locker, she closed her eyes and rested her burning forehead against the cool metal of her locker door. And what about her? What was she willing to do for love? Her life was so confusing. She loved all the members of the Zodiac that she had met, with the possible exception of Kureno, only because she had only been in his presence for less than a day. She had pushed Akito to get him away from Yuki. Then later, she had come between Akito and Momiji in an effort to defend her sweet little bunny friend. Both times, she had been terrified, and shocked at her own actions. Akito was so powerful and everyone in the family feared him. How was it she had defied him? Was it the power of loving these twelve people that had enabled her to do that? Or was it just the fact that her fearless Mother had raised her to be like that? Defending the downtrodden and helpless. For, as strong as Yuki and Kyo were in physical fighting, they were completely helpless when faced with Akito.
She pushed off from the soothing coolness of her locker as she heard her friends approach down the hall. Yuki and Kyo were arguing over something trivial, as usual. She knew she needed to look normal and make it home before she worried them. It seemed she had been spending a lot of time protecting the feelings of others lately. She had never wanted to be a burden, and seriously did not want anyone calling poor, overworked Hatori to come and examine her. It was the same thing as always. Fever, checkup, shot. She could last a few more days and then maybe stop in a clinic on Saturday on her way home from her other part time job.
Both boys flanked her as she turned to leave the building. It would be a long walk home, but she didn't mind their bickering. It made them feel safer to not have to deal with the feelings they had. She remembered how frightening it was to confront real problems. It was much easier to pretend to be angry or to displace hurt onto another. She watched the exchange and couldn't help remember how each boy secretly wanted to be like the other. How they unknowingly respected each other, and tried to emulate the other's personality.
Her eyes grew blurry as she slowed and the boys walked just a little past her and moved closer together as they fussed. Cat and Mouse. She could almost see Kyo's tail puffed up in anger. But, this wasn't a serious fight. This was more like…. Sparring? Friendly banter? Sibling rivalry?
Her legs wobbled and she tried to call out to her friends. "Um, guys?" They continued yelling. "Kyo?" no response. "Yuki?" just more shouting. Finally, she decided it was better to sit down before she fell. Neither was close enough to catch her if her legs gave out, so she plopped herself down on the curb, and dropped her satchel. The pain in her head was so great, that she could no longer even hold her head up. She rested her weary forehead on her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs that were folded up to her chest. The sounds of the city morphed into a background of white noise in her roaring ears.
She thought she heard her Mother's soothing voice talking about her having a fever again because she was pushing herself. Tohru explained, "But I have to Mom. There are so many people depending on me. I have to find the answer. I can't just leave my friends suffering from this curse." In her mind, she heard her Mother laugh gently and admonish her to only do what she could do, and just be herself. Then she was remembering her Mother telling her the story about the Zodiac and the banquet as she was a small child laying in her futon. But it wasn't the whole story, it was only the line about "the mischievous rat lied to his neighbor the cat and told him the banquet would be the day after tomorrow." That line played over and over in her head. But along with it were images of Yuki admitting that he wanted out of the Sohma family, and images of Kyo screaming that he wanted a place within the family.
The Cat and Rat were neighbors. Why would the Rat play such a mean trick on his neighbor, someone that he would see almost daily for the rest of his life? Did the Rat know what was coming? How the banquet would be turned into a constricting bond that none of the animals could escape from? How the bond would ruin their lives? And why would Akito call Yuki a "vengeful" rat? What did the rat want vengeance for?
Her thoughts swirled painfully in her mind, seeming to cause pain every time they crashed into the confines of her consciousness. What if the rat was trying to protect his friend the cat from suffering the same fate as the rest of them? What if the original rat had respected the original cat like Yuki and Kyo do? Could this part of the legend have gotten twisted too?
She was brought out of her own delirious musing when she heard both Yuki and Kyo calling her name with concern in their voices. When she raised her head from her knees, she saw the cloudy faces of both boys, kneeling before her. She didn't know exactly why she did it, but she reached out and placed a hand on each boy's face and smiled. From somewhere in her fuzzy mind she tried to explain her new insight. "The Rat didn't trick the Cat. They were friends and neighbors. The Rat respected the Cat and wanted to save him from the fate of the others. The Cat trusted the Rat and followed his instructions without doubt or worry. They were neighbors. Um…." She trailed off as she registered the strange looks on both the faces swimming in her vision.
Kyo looked like he was looking at a lunatic, but there was a blush on his cheeks. Probably from the hand she still had resting on his face. He placed a hand on her forehead and commented, "Aww, you've got a fever again. Why didn't you tell us? That explains the crap you're spouting." Still, he couldn't prevent himself from tilting his face into her touch and almost closing his eyes with a purr.
Yuki reached out to her also, and stroked her bangs back away from her eyes. "Miss Honda, do you think you can walk back to the house? We could always call for Hatori. He could pick us up." Yuki dug through his backpack for his cell phone, and dialed up the good doctor despite Tohru's arguments that Hatori was far to busy to bother with a nobody like her.
Kyo just smiled one of his quiet smiles and admitted to the girl. "Ya know. Hatori likes you too. Not to mention, your thank you meals are probably the only real food he ever gets. And it's good for him to get away from the damn Akito!" the barely concealed hatred for the head of the family slipping out for a moment.
Tohru simply couldn't argue with them since she could barely hear the words they were using over the roar in her ears. She felt hot and cold at the same time, and none of her muscles wanted to work properly. Yuki hung up his phone as her head went crashing back down on her knees and her arms dropped limply by her sides. "Hatori said he would be right here. And not to worry, Miss Honda, he considers you a member of the family. So it's not bother."
She smiled against her knees and felt the soothing hands of the boys as they reassured themselves of her condition by gently touching her hair or hands. The word she spoke was mumbled but both boys heard her, "Family." She drifted away into darkness thinking that she had to find a cure to the curse to protect her new family from any more hurt. She would defend them when they were weak, and cheer them when they were strong. That's what families did for each other.
AN-This may seem out of place with the previous chapter, but it's another new thought about the relationships in the story. It fits in with the strange and volatile relationship that Yuki and Kyo have. It is always easier to pretend to be angry than to actually admit to feeling sad and hurt or envious.