September 18th 1892: Christine
When I woke up, I felt calm, peaceful and more relaxed than I had felt in a very long time. The reason for it was lying next to me on his back, snoring softly. Snuggling against his side I revelled in the memories of last night, which had doubtlessly been one of the best nights in my life. Even performances with lots of applause paled in comparison to it.
It had also been nicer than our first time together, though I'd have never told him that. We had had more space and also more time. There had been loving explorations of each other's body, delighted gasps and moans about particularly good touches, and endless hours of kisses and caresses. Erik had been very cautious at first, trying to find out what I liked with the same precision he showed while composing. Yet when he had noticed that I had enjoyed what he had been doing, he had grown more confident… but not less gentle.
I gave a dreamy little sigh. I wasn't surprised that he had displayed quite a lot of talent in this activity. He was very sensitive, and that was all it took at the beginning. The rest could be learned quickly, a fact that Erik had demonstrated last night. I had been very content with him. I had already told him so, but was more than willing to do it again, just in case he'd have forgotten it by the time he woke up.
Straightening up a little I glanced down at him, seizing the chance to have a good look at him. If he had been awake, he'd have turned away at once, yet since he was asleep, I could let my gaze roam over his face… his entire face. I had taken off the mask sometime during our lovemaking, and he had been too busy with other things to protest against it.
Now the mask was lying on the bedside table. I had carefully put a handkerchief under it after we had been finished, for I had been worried it might fall to the floor. Erik hadn't noticed any of it; he had already been fast asleep. I certainly didn't plan to disturb him now either. The longer he slept, the longer I could look at him.
His lips were curled into a relaxed smile, which was another certain sign that he was asleep. As far as I could recall, the smile had already been there when I had woken up. So he either had pleasant dreams or he had fallen asleep smiling. I liked both possibilities. His lips were full and – as I knew from personal experience – very soft. All in all, the left side of his face looked just like I remembered it from ten years ago. Sure, age had drawn a few lines on his forehead, around his eyes and mouth, but it wasn't as much as I knew it from other people who were about his age. He didn't look old, and maybe he never would.
The right side of his face didn't frighten me as much as it once had. Perhaps I was growing used to seeing the marred, red flesh. Or perhaps… perhaps the thing Erik had always hoped for was finally happening: I was more tolerant because I loved him. I couldn't tell which one was true. I only knew that he'd have preferred the latter.
But would this also work for the children? My own words suddenly flashed up in my head, like a bolt of lightning. I had promised Antoinette and Philippe that Erik would let them in on the secret of his mask today. The biggest problem about it was that he didn't know it yet. I had planned to tell him when he had come home, but other things had been more important.
I could only hope he wouldn't be angry at me because I had made such a promise without asking him first. I was fairly certain he'd understand why I had done it, but maybe he'd have rather had more time for preparation. My daughter would doubtlessly attack him with questions as soon as she saw him. If I was lucky, I'd manage to make Erik stay in the room until after breakfast, when Antoinette would leave for her teacher's house. Like this, he'd have time till the evening. Philippe wouldn't start asking questions without his sister's support.
By the time I had drawn that conclusion, I felt much better. My momentary sombre mood had vanished. I let my finger glide over his face playfully, tracing his features. One thing was certain: If it hadn't been for the right side of his face, women would have swooned with delight instead of fainting with shock at the sight of him. Maybe I was the only person to accept him the way he was.
I didn't have time to consider that thought and what it meant, for in the next moment I felt Erik's body grown tense and sensed he was awake. Before I knew what was happening, I was lying on my back with him on top of me. His hands were holding my wrists at my sides, while his weight pressed me into the mattress.
"Good morning, Erik," I whispered pleasantly, far from frightened. "Did you sleep well?"
It was only then that he opened his eyes.
ErikMy reflexes were still excellent. After all, one could never know whether one would be attacked while sleeping. Yet this time something had gone seriously wrong. Instead of an attacker I was glancing down at none other than my beloved Christine. And as far as I could recall, the last time I had been in a similar situation, I had been less… well, naked.
As I realised what had happened, I grinned sheepishly.
"Good morning, Christine," I muttered. "I'm sorry. It's just… I'm not used to sleeping next to someone, and when you touched me…"
"It's all right," she assured me. "I'm glad you opened your eyes before you pulled out the Punjab Lasso."
"I don't have it with me at the moment," I stated the obvious. "It's somewhere over there." I jerked my head into the direction of the pile of clothing on the floor.
"I guess I was lucky then," she remarked with a smile. "The next time you want to try something new, you could just ask me…"
It took me a moment to understand she had been joking.
"I'm sorry," I repeated. I let go of her hands at last, but when I wanted to roll off of her, she held me back.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, wrapping her arms around me.
"I'm too heavy for you," I explained.
"No, you're not," she contradicted me. "Besides, I like having you on top of me. It's a good feeling." I'd have never been able to say such things without stmmering like a fool, but she managed to do so with just a little blushing.
"It is," I agreed. Unfortunately my body seemed to agree as well. I hadn't noticed before how nicely our bodies were pressing against each other, but now I did. Instantly blood began to rush into my lower regions.
"Erm… Christine…" I mumbled. "Perhaps I should rather lie next to you…" In addition to the excitement, I felt strangely guilty. She just wanted to be close to me, and my thoughts immediately went into a far less innocent direction. My behaviour truly was a shame.
"Why should you do that?" she wanted to know, making my situation even worse by moving slightly, thus rubbing herself against me.
"I have a little… problem," I replied uneasily, even though by now the problem was far from little.
"There's something we can do about that," she told me with a wink. "With all the things we've done last night, I thought you knew the method…"
I gulped.
"But Christine… it's day," I reminded her.
"So?" she asked. "Is there a rule against doing such things at day-time? Besides, if it bothers you that much, just close your eyes and imagine it were night. It's hardly day anyway. The sun had barely risen when I woke up. There's still plenty of time till someone could come looking for us. Please…"
Who was I to deny a woman a wish?
By the time it was over and we were lying on the bed in a mass of tangled limbs, the room was filled with sunlight. For once, I didn't mind the light. It was just as bright as my mood. Could there be a better way of starting the day than this one? Admittedly it was a little exhausting, which contradicted the idea of getting up in the morning and feeling refleshed, but that was a small price for the overwhelming happiness.
Casually I ran my hand over my forehead to wipe off a few beads of sweat… only to stop in mid-motion. Something was wrong. Why had I been able to touch my entire forehead? Where was… where was my mask?
"Christine… did you take off my mask?" I whispered urgently.
"Yes, I did," she replied. "Didn't you notice it?"
"No," I admitted slowly. "I didn't even notice it before now."
"Well, that's good, isn't it?" she asked softly. "It means that you feel so comfortable around me that you don't need it. I certainly don't want you to wear it now. It's much nicer the way it is."
"Oh…" I made. Christine merely smiled and pressed a kiss to my temple.
I wanted to say more, but in this moment there was a knock at the door. At once I was alert. Frantically I tried to remember whether we had locked the door last night. None of the servants would open the door just like that, but I couldn't be sure about the children.
"Where did you put the mask?" I wanted to know, sitting up hastily.
"It's on the bedside table," she answered with a little yawn. "There's no reason for you to be worried."
Yet that statement turned out to be incorrect. Apart from a small lamp, the table was empty. There was nothing lying on the floor either. The mask was nowhere to be seen.