September 18th 1892: Christine
I had rarely seen Erik in such a pitiable state. He was down on his knees, searching under the bed. Usually he was the composed one, no matter how much chaos there was around him. Now the only chaos was inside his head. For a moment, I was infected by the panic which was surrounding him almost palpably. I sat up as well and had just swung my legs out of the bed to help him look for his mask, when I remember something that made me stop.
"Erik, when I said it was on the bedside table, I didn't mean yours, but mine," I told him hastily. "How could I have put it on yours? It's too far away for me to reach."
His head emerged from under the bed, where he had been loking for his most precious possession, and it was quickly followed by the rest of him.
"So you have it? Give it to me!" he demanded, jumping to his feet and hurrying over to me. He was so fast that by the time I had picked up the mask from the table, he snatched it out of my hand. A sound somewhere between a triumphant cry and a sigh of relief escaped his throat. He cleaned both his face and the inside of the mask with the handkerchief I gave him. He then put the mask on its usual place and fastened the ribbons at the back of his head. I was almost sorry that he had to wear it again. A little of the intimacy between us was gone.
The person standing outside knocked again. Perhaps they had done so a few times already, but I hadn't paid attention before. It was only then that I realised I couldn't open the door, whether or not Erik had his mask. The mere fact that he was here, in my bedroom, was something no one was supposed to know about. It would have been all right if he had left directly after we had woken up, but now that wasn't possible anymore. The only way back to the guestroom led through the corridor.
"Don't come in!" I called. "I… I'm not decent."
"I don't want to come in, Madame," the person gave back. I recognised the voice as belonging to Jacqueline. "I just wanted to tell you that the breakfast is standing on the table. Everyone except you is already downstairs… except you and M.Erik, that is. I knocked at his door, but there was no answer."
"Oh, his sleep is very deep," I said quickly. "He surely hasn't heard you. I'll go and wake him up. But you don't have to wait with the breakfast. We'll join you in a few minutes. Thank you for telling me."
"You're welcome," she replied. By the sound of it, she was walking away.
Erik and I grinned at each other.
"I really don't like lying to other people," I muttered, just to make sure he knew it. "But in this situation it was necessary. I'm glad she didn't open the door to your room and see that it's empty."
"She wouldn't have done that," he gave back casually. "It's a simple matter of respect. She didn't open your door either."
"Yes, but… I wonder whether she knows something," I mused aloud, my fingers gliding over the blanket slowly as I thought. "The way she stressed that everyone is downstairs, as if to indicate we'd be able to leave the room without being seen… Don't you think it was a little strange?"
He shrugged.
"Maybe she heard us talking while we were searching for the mask," he muttered. "I'm afraid I was too upset to pay attention to how loud we were. But even if she suspects something, she'd never use it to harm us in any way. She's much too loyal."
I nodded. Loyalty was something Erik knew a lot about, and I couldn't help trusting him. Besides, I liked Jacqueline. I didn't want to destroy the good relationship we had by growing suspicious towards her.
"Do you feel like going down to breakfast then?" he asked. "I'm very hungry."
"Yes, we have to go now, whether we like it or not," I replied. "If we don't, the children will come to fetch us, and they won't be as understanding as Jacqueline… But don't you think you're forgetting something?" I coughed politely.
Instinctively his hand flew to his mask, making sure it was still there.
"No," he then answered. "I'm ready."
"Well, if it were just the two of us, I wouldn't mind eating breakfast with you like this," I told him with a smile. "It would be a completely new experience. But we've got to think of the others. Larisse would faint if she saw a naked man walk into the dining room, and I'm not very keen on showing my private parts to Gabriel and Jacques either… although I doubt they'd mind." I giggled.
"Oh…" Erik made, looking down at himself. It seemed that only now he realised he wasn't wearing anything. He threw me a brief glance, but I was at least wrapped in the blanket.
"You see… the mask is my most important piece of clothing," he explained, snatching his trousers from the floor and covering his private parts with them. "So I just… forgot…"
"Yes, I see that indeed," I couldn't help remarking, unable to stop giggling. The image of him going down to breakfast wearing nothing but his mask was still vivid in my head.
"Do I look that amusing?" he wanted to know, sounding a little hurt.
I shook my head.
"Amazing would be the right word for your appearance, not amusing," I corrected him. It wasn't an exaggeration. He did look very good, even with a part of him hidden behind a layer of fabric. I let my gaze roam over his body freely. Yet after a few moments it occurred to me that I was doing so a little too intently, for he asked:
"Are you enjoying yourself by looking at me?".
"Oh yes," I replied honestly. "But I should better stop now, before I'm tempted to drag you back into bed." I had looked at him enough for the picture to be engraved in my mind for all times.
Kneeling down next to the pile of clothing, Erik started to make two smaller piles, consisting of his clothes and mine. Once he was finished, it only took him a minute to get dressed, which was much faster than I'd ever manage. But then, he didn't have a corset to lace.
"Since I've come to understand that walking around wearing nothing is not allowed in this house, I've simply put on my old clothes," he explained. "But I do have to replace them with new ones and also freshen myself up a little. I'll be back in a few minutes. Or don't we have that much time?"
"Take as much time as you need," I replied casually. "I'm not even dressed myself yet. We'll surely still get something to eat in a quarter of an hour."
"All right," he agreed leaving the room. "I'll knock at your door when I'm ready to go."
The moment he had closed the door behind him I jumped out of the bed. Contrary to what I had just told him, I had no time to lose. I wanted to make sure that Antoinette would have left the house before Erik came downstairs. Since she usually was the first to finish the meal, I should be able to meet her in the corridor. If only they hadn't decided to wait for us after all!
I rushed over to the washbasin, shivering as the cold water came into contact with my skin. I'd have preferred warm water, but there wasn't enough time for such extravagances now. When I was finished, I ran to the wardrobe, pulled out various articles of clothing and started getting dressed. I chose a simple light pink dress. I wasn't sure whether Erik would like it, but I did. Besides, it had been the first one I had spotted in the wardrobe. Briefly I ran a comb through my hair, applied a little make-up and decided that I was ready to go.
I was aware that I had lost a lot of time while getting dressed, but I was determined to make up for it by walking very quickly. The door to Erik's room was still closed as I tiptoed past it. Hurrying downstairs I heard voices.
"… or we'll be late!"
"But Antoinette, we can't leave without having seen your mother and M.Erik. Don't you want to wish them a good morning?"
"My teacher always gets angry when I'm late, and – "
"I'm here," I interrupted the discussion between my daughter and the maid. I made a fruitless attempt to appear more dignified by walking down the last few steps more slowly, but Jacqueline looked at me with her eyebrows raised anyway.
"I'm sorry, Madame. I didn't mean to make you hurry up that much," she muttered. "We could as well have come upstairs to say goodbye."
"No!" I exclaimed, earning surprised glances. "I mean, no, no, that wouldn't have been necessary. I was just getting up anyway. Thank you for caring for the children alone," I addressed Jacqueline, who made a dismissive gesture with her hand, as if to say that it had been nothing. "I don't know why I overslept… Did anything extraordinary happen?"
"Not that I knew of, Madame," the maid answered. "Philippe was a little worried because neither you nor M.Erik showed up for breakfast, but he'll calm down once he sees you."
"Erik overslept as well because… I was supposed to wake him up, but forgot it," I explained hastily.
"I see," Jacqueline said with a smile. "Well, it doesn't matter. Of course you can sleep as long as you want. But we really have to go now. Since there no longer is a coach in which we could ride, we've got to walk to Antoinette's teacher."
"I'm sure we'll be able to borrow a coach for a few days, till we'll get the other one back," I assured her. "We'll pick you up in the afternoon. When will you be finished – at five?"
They nodded.
"Maman, what happened with the coach?" Antoinette asked curiously. "Jacqueline didn't want to tell me, and Larisse only said something about an accident. And where is Uncle Erik? I wanted to talk to him about – "
"He hasn't stood up yet," I started, but in this moment I felt two hands on my shoulders and knew I had lost.
"What do you want to talk to me about, my little one?" Erik asked gently.