Title: Teas, Teasing and Taisers
Author: Third Charm
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairings: Marcus/Neroon.
Story Type: Romantic Comedy
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and all subsequent major characters, plots, and ideas are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Inc. and Warner Bros. The following story was written only for the purposes of entertainment. No income had been made.
Warnings: VERY, VERY AU (As in canon is just a guideline folks!) and AT, not beta read, ATL death of a canon character, profanity, slash and erotic episodes.
Spoilers: You name it; it's in there.
Summary: This is a sequel "Birthdays, Conniving Chiefs, Doctors and Tailors – Oh My!". My, my, how will Neroon survive the courting intact? Will Marcus die of embarrassment?
Author's Note: One Earth year equals 0.74 Minbari cycles. The Minbari words and phrases were found at the "JumpNow" website in John Hightower's Minbari dictionary, though not all are direct translations. The Italian came from badly remembered high school lessons, please forgive any errors.
Teas, Teasing and Taisers
It had taken over an hour of cajoling to get Marcus out of the dressing room. Finally, after a direct order from Delenn, followed up by a threat from Susan to get Michael, the Ranger came out of hiding, to the relief of the poor tailor. When he came out, he kept up a tirade under his breath in Lenn'ah. No other Minbari language had enough profanity in it to suit his mood. Now that the acute embarrassment had faded, the rage had set in. He wanted vengeance, damn it! And, because Neroon's position depended on this charade, he couldn't get it. But, he could silently rant and dream!
Susan sent a sympathetic look to the Ranger. "Marcus, I know that you wanted to have something of your past remain your own, but stop blaming Michael for blurting it out this morning. You know that he's just acting out of concern for both you and Neroon. After all, wouldn't Neroon's enemies on the Warrior Caste Council attack his character and ability to lead if they could somehow spin this to where both his honor and yours could be called into question?" Susan said as they left the shop after picking out the accessories for his tux and signing for the bill. She wondered where the hell Michael would be getting the credits to pay it from, but didn't want to say anything in front of Delenn.
Marcus stopped dead in his tracks. He suddenly saw the wheels spinning in the Chief's head. Oh, that man was more conniving, underhanded and downright sneaky than anybody he'd ever worked with in EFI! The Chief had gotten his pound of flesh and put paid to any budding rumors all in one move! Ah, yes! He'd even cut off any of Shakiri's possible complaints at the knees! How could that bloody bastard even think of suggesting that Neroon had let himself be seduced by a "Human tart" if everybody in known space thought Marcus to be an "innocent"? Damn, but Michael was good, real good! Hmm, maybe getting some pointers from "papa" wouldn't be such a bad idea.
But why did he have to make Marcus the poster boy for human self-control? And how the hell was he supposed to live up to that now that he'd found his soul mate? There had to have been another way. Damn you, Garibaldi!
"Marcus why have you stopped? Is anything wrong?" asked a concerned Delenn.
Marcus was immediately pulled from his thoughts. Now, how was he going to answer that question without giving away the plot? "Think man, think!" he ordered himself. He took a look at Delenn. "Oh, Boy! She's really concerned about something!" Marcus thought. He knew that he'd better make this good.
'It's nothing, Entil'Zha. Just a passing thought. Everything is suddenly so real for me. When Susan said "his and your honor" in such a context, our honor intertwined, it made me realize that Neroon's life and mine are now linked, and that we will be bonded… married, in the near future. I have been so alone for so long, well, I…" Marcus let the comment drift off with a duck of his head while trying for an innocent blush.
Delenn looked relieved and surprised at the same time after his answer. "Oh, Marcus," she linked her arm through his free one and they began to walk with her leading the three of them towards one of the more expensive cafés. "I had thought that you were getting, as you Humans say, "second thoughts". I am glad that you are not. But I did not know that you believed yourself to be so alone. I know that all those of your blood are gone. I know that the pain and sorrow of their passing is still with you. But all of us here on the station, we are all here for you. I know that John and I consider you a part of our family of the heart," she finished as they found a table and sat down.
"It's true, Marcus. Don't you know that "bratko" is an old Slavanic slang word for both friend and kid brother?" Susan said and reached over to give his hand a friendly squeeze.
"And obviously, Mr. Garibaldi thinks of you as a son. Why else would everyone of his acquaintances treat you as such?" Delenn added, patting his shoulder.
Marcus coughed to cover his laugh. There was no need to tell Delenn that most of the people involved so far would do whatever Michael said because they didn't want to pay for bail out of lock-up, knee replacement surgery or, if what Marcus suspected now was true, a casket. Marcus could just kick himself! He should have figured it out sooner. That man was way too plugged into what went on in Down-Below and in the shadows. He'd never, and he meant NEVER, known another Security Chief that well plugged in, or one who had so many contacts.
Marcus looked up to answer Delen but was cut off. The waiter had walked up to their table then, only to be called over by the manager and sent on some errand. The manager came over to their table.
"Ladies, Ranger Cole. I hope you are all having a good shopping excursion?" They all gave a pleasant response. "Well, that's good to hear. Now, what would you all be interested in for your refreshments?"
Marcus chuckled. "Sir, here you see a Minbari, a Russian and a man descended of the British Isles. Now, what pray tell, what would we be interested in at 15:30 hours in the Station's afternoon?"
The manager chuckled. "Well, a restaurateur has to keep trying to get his clientele to try new things every once in a while. But, as you say, not with this crowd. A proper High Tea shall be served."
Marcus was a bit shocked. "Um…"
The manager cut him off. "High Tea, Ranger Cole. And your credits aren't any good here today. Think of this as our, my staff's and mine, engagement gift to you."
Marcus, as was Susan, was even more shocked. "I, I don't know what to say. Thank you," a flustered Marcus finally got out.
When the manager left, Delenn turned to the humans. "What is this "High Tea"?" she asked.
Susan explained. "In Europe, the continent that both the countries that Marcus and I are from are located on, there exists a tradition of having tea in the afternoon. It is usually served anywhere between 1400 and 1600 hours, depending on the country and culture. Well, unless you're French. Those people have no taste, like wine way too much, and have always walked to the beat of a different drummer. Besides, I don't think they want anything to do with something seen as British in origin."
Marcus took over from there. "All though it spread to the rest of Europe, the tradition did start in my forefathers' homeland. In the ancient past, the aristocracy served tea as a light afternoon meal and it spread from them to all walks of life. The British settlers carried the custom to all their colonies, and they each adopted it as their own. As the Royal Families of Europe intermarried, the custom went with the bride or groom. But no other country had adopted High Tea into its heart as Russia did. Hence my little bit of wit. Though, to this day, High Tea is still a truly British institution."
Delenn looked intrigued at their explanations. "That sounds quite interesting. But what makes High Tea so different?"
Marcus and Susan looked at each other. Susan answered. "Out here, absolutely everything! Most of what makes a good High Tea can't be bought, borrowed or stolen on B5. For instance, the tea itself is usually a true Chinese blend. The Third World War practically destroyed that industry and now those blends are considered luxury items even on Earth. Now try getting that on this station. Especially after the blockade we've just gone through with that svinja, Clark."
"I wonder how they'll pull this off?" Marcus wondered.
They chatted and speculated on that topic for a bit while waiting. Soon two waiters, the manager and a woman who appeared to be the cook came out. They were all bearing trays full of delicacies. There even seemed to be two very different tea sets, one a traditional British tea set in a Wedgwood style and the other a Russian one in a traditional glass and sliver style. This was much more than a traditional High Tea! They came over and set up a small serving table next to theirs.
The cook spoke as after they set everything up. She spoke with a quite pronounced British accent. "Well, since we had all of you here, and I don't think that the Ambassador has ever had either version of High Tea, I thought I'd whip up both the Russian and British versions."
Susan and Marcus looked at everything and exclaiming at the variety and how had she found a way to get all of these wonderful treats? There was both a Russian preferred black tea blend and the traditional British Earl Grey. Why, there were real cucumber sandwiches, real salmon sandwiches and real savory bliny! Topped real sour cream – and – and caviar – REAL BALUGA CAVIAR! Oh my, fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate, apple pirozhky -- and honest to God butter shortbread with lemon curd! With real milk, Earth honeybee honey, and wedges of lemon for their teas! Where? How? How was this feast possible?!
The proud cook demurred and simply said that she had her ways. She turned to and explained the different foods to Delenn, and gave her opinion on what the Minbari would enjoy. She then turned to Marcus and eyed him up and down. "Now lad, I want you to eat as much as you can! You are far too thin to be able to hold off that big Warrior of yours until the wedding night!"
Delenn's jaw dropped. Marcus choked while Susan snorted. The cook held up her hand. "Now, I know what you are all going to say. Why ma'am, he's Minbari! He'd never break tradition! Well, my lad, that's all well and good, but he's still a soldier! And you, you poor dear, - and you too Commander - you've been forced to endure those brutes at far too close a range for too long! You should know by now how they all are!"
At this point, they'd gathered an audience from the surrounding tables. The females were all agreeing with the cook. The civilian males were smirking and looking a little self-righteous. The males in uniform, no matter the species, well, they all looked like they wanted to be elsewhere! The Centauri especially found themselves the recipients of more that a few dirty looks, as well as few covert and hissed warnings to stay away from Ranger Cole!
Marcus finally found his voice while Susan looked like she was about to choke in her napkin. Delenn was still struck dumb. "I thank you for your concern, ma'am. But I can assure you that the Shai Alyt is a gentleman of the highest order. I am quite safe in his company. Also, Minbari tradition requires chaperones while the courtship lasts."
The Cook pishawed that statement. "That's what every bride has said for centuries lad, and we've always found ourselves being on the end of requests for elopement or having our chaperones – ahem – "neutralized" at inopportune moments. Now, what you need is a good taiser! I never let our girls or our son – He was a promise keeper, too. May the Lord bless his soul! – leave the house without one!"
Susan thought she'd better break in before the cook could suggest pepper spray, cattle prods, and a chastity belt for Neroon! "You know, I think that's a very good idea! I do own two. I'll loan you one Marcus!"
The cook nodded. "You are a very intelligent lady, Commander. You just keep our Ranger on the right path!" With that statement, the formidable cook turned and left.
The manager decided to add his two cents. "Or you could always ask the Chief to have one of his "family" be your chaperone."
"Well, he did say some thing about calling his aunt this morning," said Susan, trying to end this conversation.
The manager nodded. "Man's got a good head on his shoulders. No one is going to play fast and loose with one of his. Well, I'll let you get to your meal before it gets cold," he stated before he too turned and left.
Delenn's vocal cords finally began to work. "That was most… unexpected."
"Well, you know how fast news travels, here. Especially good gossip, and what's better gossip than that the Station's own White Knight getting engaged? Besides, hearing that something of the old ways having survived the War has got to have everyone cheered a bit. It's making them think that we can make it through the Shadows too. So, of course, they're going to do their part to keep Marcus "on the right path" as the cook said. Now, why don't we dig in?" Susan said as she began to serve.
Delenn looked very pensive at Susan's words. Marcus noticed. "Entil'Zha, please think nothing more of it. The past is in the past. As Neroon told me this morning when I was caught in old pain, "look towards the future". His expression turned mischievous. "Besides, now we have similar bits of gossip to share!"
Delenn took a sip of her tea. "Now, what would that be?"
"Why, what it is like to be courted by the leader of a powerful military organization!" Marcus said with twinkling eyes and an innocent expression on his face.
Susan chuckled and Delenn smiled. "Somehow Marcus, I don't think John's courtship of me will be such a source of gossip as Neroon's of you."
"Oh, and the Captain hasn't been seen holding your hand? I would say he has, and yet I don't see anyone trying to burn a hole through his arm for it!" Marcus groused quietly and playfully.
"Marcus! When have you been spying on us?! – Oh, wait, you said someone tried to shoot Neroon for taking your hand – and when did he do this?" Delenn babbled excitedly while lowering her voice and leaning in, like as schoolgirl sharing gossip about past dates with a friend.
Marcus shared a pointed look with Susan. He was glad he had cheered his Entil'Zha, but now he had to come up with a good story! "Well, he did ask my permission to proceed with the courtship last night. And he did say that he spoke to Michael before that, now who do you think accompanied him to my quarters? Well who else would have been there when he asked, other than Martag of course?" Marcus said nonchalantly.
"Oh, my! Martag was there too? All right, that is it! As your direct superior officer, I order you to "spill the beans" as John says!"
Marcus activated his coded comm, hoping to God and Valen Michael could either record or listen to the sheer bull he was about to shovel. "Well, I had just left to go back to quarters when I saw Neroon. He was waiting for me. He asked to accompany me on part of my walk, which I agreed to. As we got closer to my quarters Michael showed up as well. We continued on together. I was rather surprised, happily so, but still surprised. Neroon had never come to my quarters before, even in the company of another. You do know how much of a stickler he is for the rules?" he asked.
Delen nodded, and motioned of him to go on.
"Anyway, they came in, saw that I lived a rather Spartan lifestyle, and then both took me to task about it. After being told that I keep to myself too much, Neroon invited me to evening meal, with Michael attending too, of course." he said.
At this point he looked at Susan. She nodded. Good, she was with Michael for at least a bit after that nightmare in medlab. No one would be able to gainsay him.
"Well, go on!" Delenn said.
Marcus saw that they still had their audience. He knew then that he'd better make this good. He leaned in and dropped his voice conspiratorially. The noise level around them dropped as well.
"I was excited. I just knew that this meant that our relationship would be going to a new level. Of course I was nervous too. Very nervous, I mean, I hadn't told Neroon anything about my Vow before last night, I did not know what he would think of a Warrior who kept to such a Vow." Marcus went for an abashed and shy look at that point. "I didn't want to lose his respect as a Warrior, but I knew that I had to tell him that evening or I wouldn't be treating our relationship with the respect that it deserved."
"Well, I somehow managed to stutter out my acceptance and we left for the dinner. When we got there, the table had been set with a meal consisting of all my favorite Minbari dishes! I knew then that Neroon would formally ask for courtship. We sat down to the meal, and tried to start a conversation. Well, I should say Neroon and Michael tried to start a conversation. I was a nervous wreck! I didn't relax until Neroon made a joke about duct tape and Shakiri. It may have just been the release of tension, but I don't believe I have laughed that hard in a very long time!" He chuckled along with Susan and Delenn.
"When we have time, time I'll tell you where that comes from, and about the "sweat shirt" Entil'Zha Sinclair left me and told me to wear every time I had to meet with Shakiri." Delenn said.
"Would it be the one that has, "I can fix anything! Where's the duct tape?" printed on it in both Standard and Lenn'ah?" Marcus said innocently.
Susan almost collapsed from laughter. "Oh, he didn't! Please tell me Jeff didn't duct tape Shakiri's mouth during one of their meetings! I know he kept threatening to, but I thought that even Jeff wouldn't go that far!"
"Oh, yes he did!" Delenn chuckled out while nodding emphatically. "He then taped him to the seat and took a still of that idiot of a Wind Sword in such a state. Jeffery then sent copies of the still to all the Warrior Caste Clan leaders with the caption "This is how you can get a word in edgewise!" printed on them. He then proceeded to wear the "sweat shirt" to every meeting with the Warrior's Council after that. Shakiri lost so much face from that incident that it took only three meetings with the infamous shirt for him to be voted down from the position of Shai Alyt. After being embarrassed so thoroughly, it took the Clan Leaders a very long time to decide on Neroon. What made them finally choose him in the end was what he had to say for himself after his fight with Marcus," Delenn finished while still chuckling and smirking.
"The Minbari were right! That man deserved deification! From now on, I will bow my head and pray to him as well each time I light the Sabbath candle!" Susan said while trying to control her laughter.
"And Marcus has a tale to finish telling," Delenn said.
"Um, yes. I do, don't I?" the Ranger said in between chortles of his own. "Well, after dessert, Neroon became very serious, and I thought that he would ask for formal permission then. But then the door chime went off, and he answered. It was Martag. He had a box with him. Neroon took it from him and walked over to my seat. I knew what was coming and started trying to tell him about the Vow. Neroon knelt down beside me and just looked into my eyes. When I saw the expression in them, I – I felt like I was coming home. There was such a peace in my heart." Marcus did blush when he said this; for it was what he had truly felt when he had taken Neroon's outstretched hand the night before. Some smothered "oohs" and "aahs" could be heard around their table.
"Neroon brushed a fingertip against my cheek and said that he had known about the Vow for a very long time. Since he had decided to seek my attention. He said that knowing that I had the strength the keep such a vow made me the stronger of us. He..." Marcus broke off and looked around, and then leaned in closer to the others and dropped his voice to a bare whisper. There were some things these little gossips around them did not need to know! Both the ladies leaned in closer as well.
"He begged my forgiveness for not coming to me in the same state," Marcus whispered in an embarrassed way.
"Oh my! Well, what did you say?" Whispered Delenn excitedly.
"I said that there was no need for forgiveness. That we did not know of each other when he had made those decisions." Marcus leaned back and took on a stronger voice. "Well, he then opened the box. Inside was a single red Earth rose. He'd never given me a red rose before. When he held it out to me, he asked for official permission to court me. My hand trembled so badly when I took it from him, and I said... I said "Vi'is a ma'fela na"! I didn't believe a being could smile so brightly as Neroon did when he heard those words! Neroon called me Zha'aia De'Sher. In the heat of the moment, he took my hand and was about to place a kiss on my palm..."
Marcus was cut off by Delenn's intake of breath. "Oh! How utterly romantic and so like a Warrior, moving so quickly!"
Marcus pouted and huffed. "Well, it didn't happen. Michael had processed what I had said in Minbari, took a look at the situation, and pulled his PPG! The sound of it charging took all the romance out of the evening, I can tell you! And it stopped Neroon's actions quite quickly too! It didn't help that Martag stood over us clearing his throat and staring daggers at Neroon. I was packed off back to my quarters without so much as a goodnight kiss! As I left, I heard Martag and Michael verbally tearing strips off my poor fiancé's hide for his presumption!"
Both ladies chuckled at the ending of the story and the affronted look on Marcus's face. "Oh, well that might have been a tad bit of a disappointment. But Marcus, your words, they were so strong. Are already that sure?" Delenn asked.
"Yes," Marcus said firmly. "Yes, I am. Neroon is my soul mate. He is my heart's love, and will be my first and only true lover. Neroon will be my husband, in this life and in the next. I know this, as surely as I know that, no matter what planet you are on, the Earth's sun still rises in the east."
After that statement, the three dug into the their meal, to the disappointment of the slightly teary-eyed audience who had been hoping for more juicy gossip. Susan and Marcus convinced Delenn that since Marcus had shared so much of his courtship, Delenn was obligated to do so as well, which she did do in the spirit of the moment. The three spent a very enjoyable meal teasing each other and having Susan say at the end that she had better buy a new taiser for herself, since it looked like both Delenn and Marcus would be needing the ones she had, and quite quickly from the sound of it!
Security Chief Michael Garibaldi sat behind his desk, chuckling. His companion, one Minbari Warrior Caste Chief Aide by the name of Martag, was shaking his head. Both were quite happy at how well Marcus could think on his feet.
"Well, that boy can sure as hell spin a good yarn," Michael said.
"A very good performance. There was just enough truth in that extremely large misdirection…"
Michael cut Martag off. "Whopper of a fish story, Martag. That was a lie that a even rug can't beat."
"Yes, well, as I was saying, there was just enough truth in that story that it will cover any of the servants' gossip about preparing the evening meal for last night. The only thing that might trip him up are your whereabouts of last night," Martag said.
"A gentleman never kisses and tells, Martag," Michael replied. "All you need to know is that know is that no one will be able to gainsay that story. As long as no one remembers whether or not they saw me walking to the V.I.P section, we should be fine. And even if someone says they saw me someplace else, well Marcus gave no timetable, or said when the dinner ended. Gives us a lot to work with. Plus, it'll be their word against the word of the Shai Alyt, his top aide, the Station Chief, and the Anla'Shok Champion."
"That is all true. Anla'Shok Cole covered as many avenues of questioning as possible," Martag said.
"Do you think your boss can get that load of bull memorized by tonight? We all need to be telling the same lies," Michael stated.
"Neroon will have this memorized by tonight. Even if that means that I have to open up that thick skull of his and poor the story in!" Martag said firmly.
"Good, now let's get the rest of the damn meeting and security itinerary worked out. God! I hate planning a war and a wedding at the same time! I really need to give the Skipper more credit. I have no idea how the hell John is doing all this!" Michael stated in an exasperated voice.