Author's note... in my world, McMurphy's happened on a Friday night. I needed a weekend in my plot. And… wow… according to the reviews, you all hate Brumby… (insert evil grin here) Enjoy! Andsowego

Fair Winds and Following Fate

Chapter IV

The whole drive over to see Mattie, Mac had been unusually quiet. It's not like silence between them had ever been awkward, but Harm was more than a little concerned. Normally, the silence felt comfortable, familiar. It was actually something he enjoyed. Just being in her company, not feeling like talking was necessary. But ever since that damn phone call this morning, she'd been different. Perhaps a little too pensive Harm thought. Considering how they'd spent most of last night after McMurphy's, he figured they wouldn't be able to stop talking! Well, this whole 'relationship dynamic' was all new, and maybe she was handling it differently than he'd assumed she would.

"Earth to Mac! Come in Mac!"

Perhaps one of his bad attempts at humour would get her to talk.

"What Harm?"

Okay, admittedly, she knew that came out sounding a touch on the irritated side, but it wasn't intended that way.

"I'm sorry Harm. I certainly didn't mean for that to come out the way it did. I'm just a bit preoccupied, that's all. Are we almost there? I haven't been paying attention to the road."

"Yeah, less than 5 Mac."

Harm reached over and squeezed her hand gently. He smiled as she squeezed back. Ah ha! We have lift-off! One small step for man, one giant leap for Harm and Mac! Whoever said that progress is slow, wasn't kidding.

Putting the car in park and turning off the ignition, Harm leaned over and kissed Mac lightly. There she was! A small smile graced her lips as he pulled back to study her face.

"Let's go see Mattie... she's going to go nuts when we walk in!"

"Harm, wait."

He did.

"There's something that's been bothering me this morning. We need to talk."

"Here?" he asked.

"Yes, Harm. It can't really wait, considering the circumstances."

"Mac, you know you have my full attention... what's up?"

"Well, it's not like I'd normally initiate a conversation like this sitting in your car in a parking lot on a Saturday morning, but we're about to see Mattie, and I just think that there's something I need to come clean about."

Masking the worry on his face as best he could, Harm listened.

"I love you Harm, more than anything, but I'm worried about my relationship with Mattie. I mean, it's not like she's had a mother-figure in her life over the past few years, and what if she's not ready to accept the idea of you and I getting married? You didn't exactly ask her permission right? What if she's upset? How are we going to deal with that? You may have been a father to her for a while now, but I've never been anyone's mother Harm. Chloe and I are close, yes, but it's not the same..."

Lowering her eyes, Mac sighed.

"That's what's been bothering you since we left the apartment Mac?"

"Mostly, yeah."

Harm started to laugh.

"Why the hell are you laughing? This is serious Harm! We're not just talking about a marriage between you and me here, we're talking about a teenage girl who's getting a new stepmother by default!"

"Whoa! Power-down marine! I'm sorry about the laughter, I certainly don't want to trivialize your concerns, it's just that... well... Mattie's known for quite some time that I'm in love with you... she's been bugging me for months about when I was going to come to my senses and ask you to marry me. She loves you Mac. A girl couldn't ask for a better role-model than you, and if her high-pitched squealing on the phone this morning was any indication, she's already ecstatic about it!"

"She loves me?" Mac questioned.

"Yeah Mac. We both do." Harm stated quietly as he looked for a sign of understanding in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Harm. I didn't mean to freak out on you, but I just needed to get things out in the open. I really don't want anything hidden between us anymore. We've just had too many years of second-guessing and ambiguity, and I really don't want to continue down that road. And, I really want you to know that I love Mattie too. I couldn't love her any more if she were my own daughter. She's added something so special to your life, and I have a feeling that she'll make me a better mother than I ever thought possible. I really want her to feel like we're a family, and I'm willing to do what it takes to make that happen for her."

Mac felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders. One parking-lot confession down, one more to go. Before she could continue, Harm interrupted.

"Mac, I've never been able to picture anyone else as the mother of my children, teenagers or otherwise. Let's go in there and talk to our daughter together okay?"

Now wasn't the time for further confessions. Mac nodded and climbed out of the car. Walking across the parking lot to the building entrance, Harm had forgotten his ridiculous suspicions about the early-morning phone call.

Sydney's Bistro
12:10

The visit with Mattie had been fantastic. How Mac had managed to assume anything else was beyond understanding. Thankfully, Mac was saved the explanation of the pending lunch date when Harm had been asked to stay with Mattie to help with some new sets of exercises introduced by the therapist. He'd need to be at the hospital for the majority of the afternoon anyway. It was a one-person kind of job, so Mac had said she'd take the car home to her apartment to collect some things for later. Even without discussion, she knew he wanted her to stay with him at his apartment. Not that she was complaining of course! She'd head back to pick him up in a few hours. So, now she sat, waiting for her "lunch date" to arrive, who by the way, was now more than ten minutes late. Typical. So very typical.

She drummed her fingertips on the linen-covered table as the waiter came around for the second time to fill her water glass. What was going on? Hadn't they agreed to meet at noon? She hated this apologetic, weak-willed, insecure Mac that had reared its ugly head over the last few hours. Every time she went through stress like this, it was all she could do not to hate herself for being so weak. Her thoughts turned to Mic, and their "almost-marriage". How could she have been so blind? The love she felt for Harm all these years made everything else pale in comparison.

Lunch at Sydney's. Well, at least it was a public place, always busy during the lunch hour. Full of happy, laughing people, going about their lunch business like nothing was different. She envied them.

From outside the restaurant, Mic spied her. It's not like she could exactly blend in. Such a beautiful woman, sitting alone through the window, obviously waiting for someone important. He smiled. There was a time when he would have jumped at the chance to just stand back and watch her, but today there was no such time. Putting on the biggest smile he could muster, he confidently entered the restaurant to meet her.

Mac stood and smiled nervously as her date arrived. How was she going to get through this? What could they possibly have to talk about so urgently anyway? The stress was killing her, but she kicked it into marine mode as they sat down to lunch together.

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I love reviews! Hey… you there! Did I mention that I LOVE reviews? Stay tuned for chapter V… coming soon! Thanks for sticking with me. Andsowego