Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or CSI: Miami. Bandwagon's full, please grab another.

Okay, if any of you watched a certain recent CSI, you'd know that Grissom is sabbatical-ed. SO I'm making fun of it.

"Nick, can you get Grissom in here?" Katherine asked Nick. "I need to talk to him about painting the lab paisley."

Nick sat unmoving in his chair in the break room with a blank expression on his face. "I can't. He's gone."

Greg burst in on them in the break room. "GRISSOM'S GONE?!" Greg started panting and clutched the doorway until his knuckles lost color. Panic consumed Greg, as he mentally spiraled down into a bottomless pit of chaos and disorganization.

"Greg, I need a sandwich." Kat said absentmindedly to Greg.

"Yes ma'am!" Greg snapped out of his panic attack and walked over to the fridge.

"Gee, Kat. You sure are taking this well!" Warrick walked in.

"Taking what well?" Katherine responded. When Greg walked over with a turkey sandwich, she grabbed it violently and stuffed it in her mouth. She swallowed it without chewing. Kat ran over to the refrigerator and began pouring the pickles from their jar into her mouth.

"Oh, right… she's a nervous eater…" Warrick said. He ignored her and smiled. He grabbed his new badge out of his pocket and shoved it in Nick's face (who didn't blink). "LOOK NICK! An official badge of official LEADERNESSOCITY!"

"So you're the next Grissom?" Nick asked, still blank and emotionless.

"God, Nick, stop being so emo. He'll be back in a few weeks."

"YOU MEAN GRISSOM'S GONE?!" Greg started gasping violently as mad fear filled his mind to the brim and began pushing him over the edge into insanity.

Meanwhile, Katherine had finished all the snack foods in the cupboards and moved back into the fridge. She grabbed a container of pasta salad viciously.

"HEY!" Speedle had just walked in. "Blonde Las Vegas CSI, you can't have that! It's mine!"

She responded by eating the collar of his shirt.

"…alrighty then. You just go eat that salad. Enjoy."

"So where's Grissom?" Greg asked.

"Gone. For like, 3 more weeks."

"GRISSOM'S GONE?!" Greg asked in disbelief as final, full comprehension finally shoved it's way through his cement-thick brain, causing his nerve cells to boil with lack of any idea what to do. He couldn't take it anymore and began screaming and babbling incoherently. He jumped to the wall and dug in his fingers, and began to claw his way up to the ceiling. When he reached the top, he hopped to a fluorescent light and clung to it like a teddy bear, ranting and raving. He suddenly dropped off the light and clung to Nick's buzz-cut scalp for dear life, babbling and drooling. Finally, he did a triple backflip off Nick's head and hit Speedle's chest feetfirst, knocking him across the room. He landed on his feet, sticking the dismount. "Okay. I guess we'll just have to handle our cases without him. I'll stick to the faceless-rocker case. How about you guys?"

"My chest…" Speedle murmured weakly.

Warrick's mouth dropped. "Speedle, why are you lying on the ground? We have work to do!"

"I can't feel my legs…" was Speed's small reply.

"I can't feel anything…" Nick mumbled.

"I don't have time to feel right now; I have frozen food to devour!" Kat had moved on to the freezer. She made inaudible noises as she shoveled down still-frozen pizza rolls.

"Wow, thank god Calleigh didn't use the taser this time!" Eric Delko stepped into the room, putting on his shirt and looking frazzled. "Speedle, get up! No partner of mine spends his free time on the ground!"

"I taste blood…" Speedle replied in a small voice.

"Well… taste blood standing up."

"Life sucks…" Nick said. Everyone turned around and stared at him. "I mean, one minute everything in your life is secure and perfect. The next, poof! Everything is changed for the worse and the world is suffocating you dry." Nick paused to sigh. "I feel like… cosplay and eating skateboards. And maybe having some Styrofoam insulation on the side."

Delko set Nick straight. "Nick, you started out good with the cosplay, but emos don't eat skateboards, Styrofoam insulation, and yarn."

"I didn't say yarn,"

"EXACTLY. It's not what emos do!"

"I want to die!" Nick clunked his head on the table. "Owww…"

"Hey! I have clues for our case!" Sara burst in. "It turned out that our faceless rocker died from a disease!" She smiled proudly. "We found out that-"

"No time for story development, Sara. COMMERCIAL BREAK!" Warrick shouted.

Yeah, I didn't feel like getting anywhere in the case, sooo... they didn't. Greg's reaction was pretty much a word-for-word description of what I did. Aha, Just kidding. Or am I?