Chapter 1 Not Now or Ever
It was a drizzly Sunday afternoon, and Ryan breathed heavily, having just completed his afternoon dance practice with Sharpay. He grabbed for his water bottle, and watched as she swigged from hers. He stared at her beautiful glistening body as she gulped down her drink. Finally when she'd finished, she drew a sharp breath and looked over to her brother, who had been staring at her for a while.
"What?" she asked him.
"Nothing…" he said after a slight pause.
"OK, well I'm gonna go upstairs and get a shower," Sharpay told her brother. Ryan just stood and thought as Sharpay trailed from their dance studio, upstairs to her bathroom, he desperately wished that he could follow her and join her, but he new that that could never happen, not now or ever.
Ryan got out of the shower with a towel wrapped around him and went and sat down on his bed, he reached over to his bedside table and opened the drawer. Inside was his journal, the only place that Sharpay couldn't reach, his own private world of thought. He had been keeping his journal for as long as he could remember, but up until a few years ago, it was filled with unimportant rubbish that he had thrown in there. However, in the last few years he had started to write about his feelings, his feelings for his twin sister. He knew that she could never read his journal because it could ultimately ruin their strong bond and friendship, and even if it was not completely what Ryan wanted, it was certainly a whole lot better than nothing.
He started to write:
Today I had another dance practice with Sharpay, we are getting really good at our routines. She looked more amazing than ever, I don't know how much longer I can take, being so close to her, but not being able to make her mine, she is so beautiful, so perfect, I feel so warm inside when she smiles at me when I get it right. I wish more than anything that I could tell her how I feel, but I can't, not now or ever.
Ryan