Splitting the Lightning

by afriendtosell

[Timeskip] As war between the Leaf and the Rock looms over the horizon, Hatake Kakashi is going to have to learn that, in a world where words and titles mean everything, one must put up or shut up in the face of the impossible.

2. Pigs On The Wing

Tagline: (Timeskip) As war between the Leaf and the Rock looms over the horizon, Hatake Kakashi is going to have to learn that in a world where words and titles mean everything, one must put-up or shut-up in the face of the impossible.

XXX

A/N: Pay very, very, very close attention to the last scene. Also, I'm posting this early since the new Harry Potter book comes out when I would normally post a new chapter. Also, for those of you who are interested my livejournal (which you can find at my profile) usually updates with a preview of the newest chapter a day before it comes out here, so, by all logic...

Previews on Thursdays at pridefall(dot)livejournal(dot)co
And new chapters on Friday, here.

XXX

If you didn't care what happened to me,
And I didn't care for you
We would zigzag our way through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain
Wondering which of the buggers to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing.

XXX

Splitting the Lightning

a Naruto fanfiction
by Pridefall

Disclaimer: I own nothing except what is mine.

XXX

Chapter 2
"Pigs on the Wing"
Or
In Which Hatake Kakashi Has a Normal, Albeit Hard Day

XXX

The human body cannot respond to stress without running through the physical symptoms of a nervous breakdown. His heart is pounding somewhere in his throat. His muscles are burning beneath his skin; his is chest heaving from the strain. His vision blurs as the rain falls, obscuring it and making his surroundings indiscernible in the half-light of the moon.

No one ever taught Kakashi about the fragility of his own body; never bothered to teach him about physical absolutes and limits, and this…This is his absolute limit. This is his one last push before damnation. He has always been saved before it came to this; has always finished a mission or killed a target before it came to bend or break, and now, when it counts more than anything that his training keeps him alive, he's questioning himself. He is thinking he's not good enough.

He's never been in that position before.

He's never doubted that he could not achieve anything but the very best because he's always been the best and always bested everything that stopped him from doing so.

…Until now.

Now, he's running hard, his arms pumping by his sides as his booted feet strike loudly against the rain-splattered ground. It feels like his muscles are burning, like his chest is about to cave in and heart is about to either burst out from behind his lungs or explode somewhere between his Adam's apple and his trachea.

'Keep…Moving…'

It hurts in a sublime, almost-Zen way that inspires him to run faster. The pain shouldn't matter; doesn't matter. He has to keep moving forward. He has to keep on running; needs to keep pushing himself -- his breath coming out in dry, painful heaves while the acrid taste of bile rises in his throat and hot, heavy blood threatens to solidify in his veins.

She's counting on him, for once, and he can't fail her; won't fail her, even if it cost him his life.

She's counting on him.

He cannot stop.

A Grass-nin leaps into his peripherals with a scream in a language he doesn't know or care to try to decipher, all of the Grass' supposed superior shinobi-caution and training thrown to the bitter, cold wind. He knows he can't take the time to engage the man, so he has to improvise, and do so quickly.

'Gotta…One shot…' Kakashi drops down to his knees and slides down through the mud as the Grass-nin's scissor-gauntlet cuts through the air – and the top of Kakashi's hair, he notices dryly -- then turns and trips the man using his own momentum against him. The Grass-nin stumbles forward onto Kakashi's ready half-chidori, his entire body shuddering before Kakashi's hand carves itself through his chest and out the other side faster than the man can sigh out his last breath.

'…Dead weight' he pushes the Jounin off his chest, his hand coming free with a wet pop, and finds himself face to face with four more of his friends.

'Shit…' He lets out a half-gasp, half-sigh, visibly exhausted as he leans over and braces his hands on his knees. 'There is no time for this.'

Part of him is glad that the Grass-nin seem to agree with him. They all come at him at once; thinking numbers can overcome skill and the shadow of Kakashi's success. He leaps into their midst without another thought, drawing his father's tanto out in mid-flight with a flash of brilliant white light. It's so bright, so beatific and so out of place on the battlefield that they look confused for a moment; some shielding their eyes from the white nova in the rain, and Kakashi takes the chance they give him to carve the nearest Grass-nin in twine as he lands.

'Three'

Blood erupts from the wound and gushes all across his face. It's still as viscous and horrendously warm despite the cold rain (which is something Kakashi expects) and smells distinctly of copper and shit (something he hasn't gotten used to yet, and never wants to). His stomach rebels against him as the red shower intermixes with the falling rain, staining him through his clothes and running down his face in vibrant crimson lines that stand out against the paleness of his skin.

He pushes the sickness down.

He doesn't care.

They're in his way.

'Time to end this.'

He takes a breath and pulls down his Hitae-ate to reveal his glorified badge of shame to the world, the world slowing down to snapshots of movement and thought that blur together in erratic blurs of before and after-image. The Grass-nin to his left runs through the hand-signs of a jutsu and has his legs cut out from underneath him ('Two') as a Grass-nin that somehow got behind Kakashi takes a chance and closes in from behind and shoves a kunai into Kakashi's shoulder. He ignores the pain ('It's nothing, keep moving.') while cursing his stupidity and intercepts another stab from the Grass-nin to his right with his tanto ('Dammit.'), the sound of metal striking metal as they trade blows concordant with a blade of lightning cutting across the sky.

'Shit!'

He's never tested himself like this; never pushed himself to this kind of limit, and it shows in every mistake he makes. His enemies have studied him; have realized that the Sharingan cannot cover so many different enemies at once or see what's going on behind its user's back.

They both attack him from each and every angle imaginable, pushing him between them with their attacks; herding him, making him spend time he can't waste with their stupid last-minute feints and their stupid Grass-nin tricks.

'Enough!' He slams his tanto down the length of his opponent's katana, jamming the hilt of his father's sword against his opponent's wrist and breaking it with a loud crack as Kakashi reverses his momentum and brings his elbow crashing into the Grass-nin's face while his katana clatters to the wet ground. His opponent's nose shatters beneath the force, the crimson blood that blossoms across his face disorienting him enough for Kakashi to kick him in the chest and knock him to the ground.

'Two!'

The outlandish move costs him. While he's occupied with his partner, the second Grass-nin makes his move by sneaking in low behind Kakashi and jamming eight senbon ('Fuck. Fuck!') into his lower back and closer to Kakashi's kidney then anything that sharp should.

Kakashi lets out a grunt of pain and, then and there, decides to end the battle.

They've been in his way to Rin long enough.

He shuttles chakra into his leg, and though his ribs and muscles burn with the effort, he rotates on his left heel and lashes out with his right, catching the lucky (now unlucky) offender in the face with a loud, echoing snap before he somersaults over the first as he tries to stab him. The second Grass-nin stab rushes underneath him as Kakashi lands and ends up stabbing his comrade right in the throat with a wet, disgusting plop

'Ha.'

Kakashi turns to face his lone attacker as the man, his shoulders tightening and then slowly loosening, wipes his sword on the ground and does the same. They both stand about the same height – the Grass-nin being slightly taller – and though Kakashi tries not to let it into his mind, he realizes that, though the man is quite plain as far as shinobi go, he has the clearest brown eyes Kakashi has ever seen on a man.

"What's your name?" the man asks, breaking Kakashi's concentration and making what he thinks is his first mistake in their duel.

"It isn't important."

And it isn't, because knowing the name of the man you were about to kill only made it that much harder to do so. Kakashi raises his tanto to chest level – the man doing the same – and begins to circle him, his movements measured and precise as they preen and posture as only two men who knew one of them was about to die could do.

"Then that is what I'll write that on your grave."

The blitzkrieg of before was over. Now it was time for the dance, and thereafter the saving of the girl. The Grass-nin's stance is tight; his steps deliberate, wasting neither glance nor movement as he matches every single one of Kakashi's steps with the practiced professionalism of a master.

His serenity makes Kakashi nervous. '...Why am I even doing this?'

Their eyes meet. 'I have to save Rin! What the fuck am I doing?'

They raise their blades; shift into their best stances. 'This doesn't make sense! If I die here then no one can save her!'

A wolf howls somewhere in the distance.

'Stop it! Run away!'

Lightning flashes.

Boots beat against the ground.

Rain falls.

Strike.

Clang.

Boom.

Silence.

Thud.

He can barely manage to keep standing, his legs shaking beneath him, but he can manage a smile.

He did it.

"My name is Hatake…"

Now it was time to…

"…Kakashi?"

His heart skips a beat.

'No.'

He feels warmth run down his side.

"Kakashi!"

Everything starts to get blurry.

'No.'

Lightning flashes.

"Kakashi, hold on!"

The last thing he sees is Gai's terrified face.

XXX

Kakashi woke as if he had been stabbed in his sleep – his entire body going rigid as a scream died in his throat and his hands reached out in front of him as if trying to stop some unseen assailant from murdering him.

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi's body kept shaking, his hands, chest, and muscles all going violently haywire as his mind reeled back from the last vestiges of the nightmare.

"Kakashi, hold on!"

It took all of a full minute for him to realize that he was still alive and in the real world again despite the scenery, ('I'm at home, I'm at home, I'm at…') but the damage was already done.

Rin was dead.

Had been killed because Kakashi wasn't good enough.

Realizing it over and over again only made things worse.

'Get out of there…'

Gai had tried to convince him otherwise; had tried to explain to him that he himself had done his best to save Rin after he patched up Kakashi's wounds, but as an orphan Kakashi could see hollow words of kindness from a mile away. He had failed Rin, and the memory of her death made him hurt somewhere deep and uncomfortable in his subconscious like a blunt knife being shoved into in an infected wound.

'Kakashi!' she screams as she loses her balance and…

'Get out of there...' he repeated to himself, tapping a dulled kunai against his forehead as if it would somehow jar the memory from its place.

"Dammit." The scarecrow shook his head and reached for the bottle of water next to his night stand. Twisting off the top, he took a long drink and, letting the cold liquid slide down his throat, sat up in bed and watched the sun rise over Konoha.

"Kakashi!"

It was a few more minutes until the shaking stopped. When he found that he could breathe without gasping for breath, he placed his head in his hand – the water bottle hanging from the opposite -- and tried to stop the his head and the room from spinning.

Ring

Then, the phone rang.

XXX

"…-ello?"

" …"

"Hello?"

"…Mmmfh, say stuff."

"Kakashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Hey, it's Kurenai."

"Snnnnnhey Kurenai."

"Wow, you sound like crud."

"(yawn)AaahI feel like it too, unfortunately."

"Hangover?"

"Like someone's pet tarantula is tap-dancing on my head with soccer cleats."

"Heheheh. Someone had too much fun last night."

"Nyhhh…Iruka's bachelor party? I(yawn)gave up on that after Anko caught 'im dancin' with Shizune."

"Then…Wait, you didn't-"

"…"

"Kakashi!"

"Mmmmrgh."

"Was it the nightmares again? I keep telling you to stop drinking so much before you go to bed!"

"……Whatdja call soyawnearly for?"

"Hey, don't you go and try to change the subj-"

"(yawn)Aaaah...Whatever it is, it must be important, right?"

"Kakashi!"

"I mean, I've got a massive hangover here, and I'm liable to pass out on the receiver."

"…"

"'ello?"

"...The Hokage wanted me to tell you that she wants to see you today as soon as possible. Yesterday, even."

"Eh? That's it?

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothin'. Jus sounds like there's more to it. Tsunade's not so straightforward."

"Ah…yeah…"

"So there is more!"

"She, uh… She told me to go over to your house and drag you to her office if you took too long."

"That's not so bad."

"I wasn't finished. She also said that she'd sent a notice to you yesterday, but knew you wouldn't read it and called me to make sure you got your lazy ass there on time, for once."

"Okay, that's…harsh."

"Her words, not mine."

"M'kay. So what time was I posed to be there?"

"…"

"Kurenai?"

"What time is it?"

"Nine-thirty ish?"

"Then….About two hours ago."

"Oh…Crap."

"Yeah...I'm sure she made it an order for the other Jounin she called, so…"

"Wait, other Jounin?"

"Yep."

"Shit. So this is…?"

"A pre-emptive ass-kicking call, yeah. Hurry up before Ibiki or Anko get over there."

"Hm…Kurenai?"

"What? You should be-"

"I forgot to ask you something."

"Um, okay?"

"Last night you were at the party with Asuma, right?"

"...I don't see how that would be of importance to you, but yes."

"So... Did you two..."

"…"

"…Kakashi, if you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, I'm going to..."

"No, no, nothing like that!"

"Then what?"

"Well, you know…in case you do it again, I recommend position three from page sixty-seven from Icha Icha Volume Two: Kunai and Kinkiness. Trust me, Asuma'll love it!"

"Kakashi!"

"Later, Kurenai!"

click

XXX

Tsunade stared at them with hard, almond colored eyes.

"I'm not going to lie to you two..." she began, accepting the manila folder Kakashi handed back to her with what he thought was an appraising look "This situation with the Rock looks as if it may escalate to an all out war if not treated..."

"Quickly? Brashly? Guns blazingly?" Ishida chimed in next to the Copy-Eye Nin, hopping about and acting too eager to help push Tsunade's buttons.

"...Carefully." The Godaime finished, shooting a look at the red headed Jounin that should've burned him to the bone while Kakashi, sensing the mounting tension in the room, grabbed Ishida's shoulder and forced him back into his seat.

"Hey!--"

"--So that's why you need me?" Kakashi asked, trying to divert attention from Ishida and back onto the task at hand.

Tsunade stopped glaring at the red-headed Jounin and focused again on Kakashi. "Yes. That's exactly why I need you, Hatake. You're the only acting Jounin I have on hand right now that has any sort of leadership experience in this...field."

Kakashi straightened a bit at the compliment, but otherwise saw that Tsunade was using him as a last resort again; which...well, it didn't matter that much to him anyway, in retrospect.

It'd been a long time since Kakashi put that much stock in rank anymore.

Ishida, however, did. "And me? You need me for my special skills too, right?!" The red-headed Jounin asked, leaning forward in his chair; his face a cheerful mask.

Tsunade's small smile instantly fell. "No, not quite. You're more there to tag along with the main group because you're smart, you know when to pull out of a fight you can't win, and...stop looking at me like that."

Ishida beamed. "You called me smart."

"And?"

"You gave me a compliment."

Tsunade dropped her face into her open palm. "Ishida, I swear if you start--"

The red-headed Jounin leapt out of his chair. "The Hokage actually has feelings for me that aren't absolute hatred!"

Kakashi, who had been hanging onto Tsunade's every word until then, tried to look nonchalant as his Hokage closed her eyes and began to mouth counting from one to ten.

'I wonder how long it'll take?' he thought to himself.

It wasn't everyday that he saw the most powerful woman in the village lost for words. It also wasn't everyday that he saw someone as reviled as Ishida get away with an almost Naruto-level of obnoxiousness in front of the Godaime without being punished for it.

'Five. Four. Three. Two...'

"She likes me! She really, really likes me!"

That said, he knew Tsunade wouldn't take it if Ishida kept pushing his luck.

"Oh, come 'ere you!"

Kakashi's one revealed eye widened. 'Oh shit. He's not gonna...Oh fuck. He is.'

Time seemed to slow down as Ishida crossed the expanse of the room with his arms outstretched and then splayed himself across Tsunade's lap in what could only be defined as an "overly lascivious hug" – his arms clamping down around her neck and his face somehow finding its way between Tsunade's breasts.

"Aw, I love you too Tsu-chan!"

With a sigh, Kakashi got up from his seat and watched as Tsunade grabbed Ishida and threw him through the wall right next to her desk.

"As I was saying…"

Kakashi took his seat in front of her and let the real briefing begin.

"You are to take a force no larger than thirty Jounin to the very outskirts of the Rock/Grass boarder and set up a small base of operations near the city of Imo Maji. From there, you will perform a series of surgical strikes against the city's surrounding military installations."

Kakashi rolled his one visible eye. "Sounds easy."

Tsunade frowned. "It's not. Your cover will be protecting the Fire Daimyo that are attending the Rock's first meeting of parliament, giving you a three day window to infiltrate Imo Maji, disable whatever weapon's program they're running, and then get out without causing an international incident."

Kakashi shrugged. "Still sounds easy to me."

Tsunade pointed a finger at him, her eyes narrowing. "Do you want to end up like our little snake-child friend?"

"No, not in particular."

"Then I suggest you shut up, get your forces ready, and get out of my office, Hatake. I'm still mad at you for that whole Uchiha debacle."

Kakashi bit his tongue to keep from saying anything about that, and then bowed. "Yes ma'am."

He turned to leave, but stopped midway to the door. "…Though..." He had to be insane for what he was thinking. "I do have a request."

Very insane.

Tsunade let out a massive sigh. "What is it?"

Kakashi knew he was treading dangerous ground, but since he had failed Sasuke in such a way…"I'd like to take one of my students with me, if at all possible?"

Tsunade looked at him for a long, drawn-out moment. "Hatake Kakashi, are you in--"

"It's Sasuke." The Copy-nin cut her off, his tone almost fatalistic.

Tsunade's eyebrows went up. "Oh." Then, she looked at how serious Kakashi was being and began to laugh. "Oh. Ha. Okay, fine then."

Even if part of him felt that he should've defended Sasuke's honor or something, Kakashi kept his tongue in his head and bowed as low as he would allow himself to. "Thank you Hokage-sama."

"You shouldn't." Tsunade said out of the blue, making Kakashi stop in his tracks. It hit Kakashi as odd that Tsunade – who hated Sasuke for running away in the first place – would warn Kakashi about taking the Uchiha on a mission where he could be killed.

"Why not?"

Tsunade sighed, a trait that Kakashi believed she would be famous for in the near future. "The brat's been in a bad place ever since Orochimaru…died, Hatake; but...Whatever lets you sleep at night, alright? It's none of my business."

Kakashi shrugged, thinking that yes, it wasn't any of Tsunade's business, and began to walk to the door.

Unfortunately, she still wasn't done with him.

"...Oh, and Kakashi?"

He stopped at the door for what seemed like the third time that meeting. "Yeah?"

"Don't you dare fuck this up."

Kakashi stood still for a long moment, his hand barely hovering over the doorknob.

"Yeah. Okay."

Then, he was gone.

XXX

"So...the Uchiha?"

Kakashi nodded at Iruka, who slowly tilted his head to the side and began to stare into the mysterious contents of his coffee cup.

"Yep." Kakashi answered, succinct and slightly stand-offish.

Iruka kept staring into his coffee. "Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Is there another Uchiha that Itachi left around to angst about after him?"

"No, not to my-"

"Then I'm talking about Sasuke."

It was an awkward silence that grew between them, something thick and impenetrable that should have disturbed Kakashi, but didn't. The schoolteacher had agreed to meet with him that afternoon, not the other way around.

"So…um."

Iruka's eyes finally left his coffee cup, his lips parting and hanging open as if he were trying to form the words he wanted to say before speaking them.

"...Why?" he asked, finally, his tone half-questioning and half-disbelieving.

Kakashi raised a solitary eyebrow, the cogwheels of his mind slowly creaking to a start. Iruka wouldn't be…ready? No, ready wasn't the right word -- appreciative, then, of what Kakashi was planning to do, so the platinum-haired shinobi had to lie.

"Why what?" he almost-spat; almost threatening and almost daring Iruka to question him again.

Iruka's eyes darted back to the table, looking either hurt or embarrassed like a pup who had over-stepped his boundaries, and Kakashi thought he had deflected the question sufficiently enough to-

"Why are you taking him of all my students?" Iruka blurted out, regrouping in front of Kakashi's eyes and surprising him, quite frankly, because Iruka shouldn't have had a backbone.

"Well, I need someone to plug my dick into." The Jounin responded after a pause, sarcasm taking over almost instantaneously. "I mean, Sasuke is nice and tight, Naruto not so much. And don't talk about Sakura." He shuddered for effect and Iruka's eyes went as wide as plates.

"You w-what?" the Chuunin stammered.

"Butt sex, Iruka. That's what I'm talking about -- having sex, in the butt, with lubrication being optional."

Iruka's eye twitched, his hand gripping his coffee cup tighter and tighter. "I…You…"

Kakashi smirked behind his facemask, his single eye turning into a happy curve. "I'm joking, Iruka."

The teacher soured, his face going from "Oh my gods" to "I'm going to kill you with point objects." Kakashi dodged the kunai Iruka threw at him easily enough, but didn't get away in time to miss having the rest of Iruka's lukewarm coffee dumped on his head.

"Jackass."

"I know."

"No, really. You are a freaking jackass."

"Well, you know the old saying: You are what you eat."

"…I'm not even going to try and correct you."

"Really, though." Iruka asked as he ordered another cup. "Why him?"

Kakashi was about to respond when he heard it -- a sound he dreaded hearing everyday but somehow had come to grow used to over the years out of a mix of sheer desperation and necessity.

"Kakashi! My eternal rival! I cannot believe you'd abuse the flames of youth this way!"

Kakashi's visible eye drooped. "Oh god, not him."

Gai burst into vision in all his excruciating greenness, but the sparkle in his bared teeth somehow seemed diminished as he grimaced. "My hip rival! I... I DON'T KNOW YOU ANYMORE!"

Kakashi tried to dissuade Gai, waving his hands in front of him as he spoke. "Look, I told Iruka I was-"

"How could you sully the good names of your students like so?"

"Gai, I-"

"Kind Sakura is still yet arriving at the cusp of her womanhood, and you…you would suggest doing something so abnormal to her comrades but not to her beautiful body? You have destroyed her pride as a woman, man!"

"But, Gai-"

"And Naruto! He has been through so much for someone so young, and yet you would try to put out his inferno of youth with your strange and hip metrosexual ways! Why, my friend? WHY?!"

"Gai."

"Sasuke is no different! Your students are reaching the peak of their Youth and you would take the trust they put in you as their teacher and, and-"

"Gai!"

Gai threw the curve of his arm over his face and turned away from Kakashi, shouting "NO! NO MORE WORDS!" before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Kakashi sighed and pointedly ignored the rest of the patrons. After he finished dabbling at his face with a napkin, he continued talking to Iruka as if nothing had happened. "Anyway..."

"He's insane."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, he-"

"You're insane." Iruka interrupted him, his tone oddly colder than what Kakashi was used to receiving from lower-ranked shinobi.

"True…" Kakashi shrugged. "But I'm still taking him and Sasuke with me."

"You're all insane." Iruka slumped forward in his seat with a tremendous sigh and placed his chin on top of his crossed arms. "Haven't you Jounin done enough to my students yet?"

If he considered it; really looked at all the damage he'd done to Team 7 through the years, he would've said yes to Iruka then and there. The way he'd put them through so much while all the while expecting them to persevere through things most Chuunin couldn't even do should have been enough for any man to call it quits.

"I don't know about Gai…But, me? Not yet…I…Well, I'll give it to you straight, Iruka. I'm going to use this as an excuse make up for what I did to Sasuke."

But it wasn't enough; would never be enough until Kakashi finished what he started.

Iruka straightened in his seat; doubt splashed all over his face like Kakashi's hair was with coffee. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"Do you really want to know?" Kakashi dared the Chuunin, his head propped up on his hand and his tone languidly edging.

"Yes."

Kakashi smirked, or smiled, and maybe it was a proud smile and maybe it wasn't, but when he said, "Well…I mean I'm going to start being a teacher, for once." he actually believed he felt as good as he talked, raising his hand up and counting his reasons for changing on his fingers.

"All my life I've only looked out for myself. I've always been…well, alone, and these kids – Sasuke and Naruto – they're just like me; they need someone. I know I can't be their Father, or even their mentor, but I can be their teacher, right? I've been through what they've been through, and that has to count for something, so I've got a plan. It's not a great plan, but…Shit, for everything they've been through I think it'll help them more than just letting them walk around the Village and stare at each other like kicked dogs."

Despite his own apprehension, the slow smile that spread across Iruka's, at first admittedly confused features as Kakashi explained what he was going to do and how he was going to do it made Kakashi feel all the better about his decision.

He was doing the right thing.

Yes.

He was.

…Somewhere far away, a loud sobbing wail drifted through the sky.

Iruka coughed, trying not to notice.

"Alright Kakash, you've got my blessing."

Kakashi couldn't help but light up. Even if he was going to take Sasuke if Iruka said no, having the man's goodwill made him feel more secure in his decision.

"Really?"

Iruka nodded and finished his second cup of coffee. "Yeah. Just...One more thing?" The scarred teacher stared at him evenly, his smile gone from his face.

Kakashi somehow couldn't stop being reminded of his earlier meeting with Tsunade.

"If I find out you've molested my former students in any way, I will personally go Ibiki on your genitals."

Laughing somewhat uncomfortably, the Jounin brought a hand up to scratch the back of his head.

"Deal."

XXX

Hatake Kakashi really, really hated Uchiha Sasuke.

"Do it again!"

They'd been sparring each other for hours now, trading blows and jutsu between each other like two dogs chewing on different ends of the same bone. Kakashi had been winning for the most part -- keeping the Uchiha out of arm's reach and making him -think- instead of act -- but Sasuke was growing impatient.

Impatience was not a virtue he liked in his students.

The Uchiha looked up at Kakashi from the ground, sweat dripping down from his bangs and his ruby-red eyes spiraling with the ritualistic click-whirl of the Sharingan's memorization cycle. Kakashi felt that should have been proud that Sasuke had enough chakra in his body to hold up the Sharingan for so long, but he wasn't.

Sasuke was cheating.

The Sharingan taught ninjutsu and taijutsu to its user by flash-burning them into the mind, but the discovery and the mastery of the smaller acts that made up the jutsu were completely screened over.

It wasn't really learning, it was leeching from someone who knew more than you did.

'Goddamnit, why does he keep…'

Kakashi himself had tried not to rely on the Sharingan the whole time they'd been training, but Sasuke memorizing everything Kakashi threw at him through his bloodline instead of through hard-work made him angry enough to just say, "fuck it" and go blow for blow with the Uchiha.

It was first time it was actually bothered Kakashi that his protégée was using their bloodline as perfectly as he had been taught to, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

'Okay, so I'm a hypocrite. So what?'

The half-Chidori he'd given him had been a gift -- a way for both of them to show off in front of everyone else during the Chuunin exam.

'Haha! My pupil knows an A-ranked jutsu!'

Everything else, though?

Not a gift, and he hated it when his students took shortcuts around their training.

Especially when they didn't have to.

So he kicked Sasuke in the face as the raven-haired teen lunged at him.

"Without the eyes!"

The black-haired noble staggered back with a grunt, his face scraping against the dirt as the force of Kakashi's blow sent Sasuke into full backwards somersault. Kakashi stared at the prone Uchiha for a time, wondering when exactly he went wrong with his training. He'd been careful to tailor to Sasuke's needs; to be as tough as he thought the boy needed him to be, and to be as lenient as his pride demanded. Sure, it had been pandering of the worst kind, and it had alienated his other students to the point of almost hatred, but Sasuke had shown the most potential and despite everything the Uchiha had grown underneath Kakashi more than Naruto or Sakura ever would have.

…And yet…

Chi-chi-chi-chi-chi…

Sasuke was making mistakes. Stupid mistakes that he shouldn't have been making -- like getting back up to his feet and charging at him with a half-Chidori crackling in his hands.

"Kid, you better realize something..." Kakashi ducked low, all fluid grace, a hand slamming into the ground for balance as he twisted from a crouch into a vertical hand-stand. "I invented this technique."

He rotated, hard, just as Sasuke near and knocked the half-Chidori-wielding Uchiha in the temple with the heel of his boot, sending him sprawling.

"And unlike you, I've mastered it."

Sasuke rolled with the blow, his fingers digging into the ground. Kakashi merely flipped back onto his feet and gave the brat a hard glare. "You had enough?"

The Uchiha's eyes narrowed. "Fuck you."

Kakashi smirked and then instantly Kawamiri'd out of the way as Sasuke's hands flashed through a series of seals. It didn't matter, though, because in the next moment Kakashi was very sure that a great portion of the forest wouldn't be around anymore when Sasuke placed his fingers to his lips.

'Okay, don't tell me he's going to…'

He knew that the Uchiha-prince was easier to push than most, but this was the first time his homicidal tendencies had culminated in more than barely suppressed killing-intent and a few harsh words.

'Crap.'

Maybe he shouldn't take such delight in annoying the hell out of his student.

"Katon: Karyuu Endan!"

'Gotta move!'

The fire scythed through the underbrush, twisting and ripping through the trees like fiery hurricane. It was bright; tempestuous; too bright for a ninjutsu cast by a shinobi of Sasuke's level and too fast to be real.

Even as the fires rolled through underbrush, eating away at everything they touched, Kakashi knew something was wrong. The mouth of the inferno yawned wide, devouring everything around it, but there was no heat.

Kakashi got as far as 'There's genjutsu at work here...' before Sasuke suddenly appeared beside him and put a kunai through his throat.

"I think this is the point where one of us says checkmate, Hatake-san."

Kakashi shrugged, the tip of the knife biting into his neck. "Beauty before age, Sasuke."

"I may be younger than you are by a few years, but do you really think I'm that stupid?"

Kakashi shrugged yet again. "It worked on Naruto."

Sasuke stiffened almost instantly. "I…am not Naruto."

Kakashi laughed. "Prove it!"

The kunai plunged into his neck just as Kakashi reached out to his immediate left. A shower of red erupted from the wound in his "throat" and part of him remembered that, even if Sasuke had grown a bit, he was still Sasuke. And Sasuke had one fatal flaw.

He was predictable.

'If you think that because Naruto hates killing and you don't, it makes you a better shinobi? Pfft.' to his dismay, Kakashi's left hand grabbed at empty air.

'...Crap. Maybe not that predictable, eh?' He went through the hand symbols for show and slammed his first half-Chidori of the day into the tree-trunk of the oak he was standing on.

'Now where…?'

"Shit!"

'There we go.'

There was a flash of light, and then the forest melted all around him. Sasuke came crashing out the higher branches of the tree as it was ionized, Kakashi following him to the ground with as much grace as he could manage.

'Gotta make the kid look bad to make myself look good.'

Sasuke hit the ground with an unceremonious thud. Kakashi landed beside him with little other than a small grunt and then began to walk towards the black-haired Avenger.

"Are we done yet?"

Sasuke mumbled something into the dust. Kakashi frowned behind his mask.

"Beating you like this isn't fun, yanno?"

Alright, he was lying through his teeth. Yes, it was fun. But he kept that little tidbit to himself, no sense in overly aggravating the Uchiha more than he was about to. Sasuke pushed himself up with his arms, coughing blood. "Why won't you leave me alone!" he screamed into the dirt, his arms trembling from the force of Kakashi putting his heel between his shoulder blades and trying to push him down.

"Because, well…" Kakashi leaned forward on the foot he had on Sasuke's back and assumed the classic "thinking" position. "I've tried time and time again to be nice about this, and you just won't listen. I'm tired of it. I've tried coddling, I've tried bribing, and you just don't seem to get it, Sasuke."

"Get what?!", sounded more like "Gft Whuff" when his student's face was in the ground, Kakashi noticed dryly. He pressed his boot into the back of Sasuke's head, making sure that his point was driven into exactly where he wanted it to be. "That you are where you are because of yourself."

He could tell the finality of his tone got through to the Uchiha when he slumped into the dirt and barely managed to choke out "…Why? Why me and not Naruto, or Sakura?" Whuh meh han bot Narufo, or Safufra?

"Because you are the reason they have tried so hard to get to where they are. You, however, don't have that drive. You've based you're entire Nindo around killing one person."

Sasuke managed to push himself up to his elbows, his back shaking from the effort he was exerting while Kakashi let gravity and adrenalin take care of things. "So?! You don't even know what I've been through!"

Kakashi roughly pushed him back down, the corner of his lips turning up into a snarl.

"I've lost a father, my friends, and my mentor. Even though I don't have a family, that still hurts you little cuntstain."

Sasuke stayed on the ground, but turned his face enough to the left to be able to look at Kakashi with one Sharingan-covered eye. Everything about him – his stance, his look, even how he breathed – seethed with defiance.

"I don't fucking care" Ih dohn ffckeng are

The effect of his words was instantaneous; a lightning bolt to Kakashi's insides. The Jounin reeled back and punched Sasuke in the face hard enough to hurt, knocking one of Sasuke's teeth loose and splitting his lip.

He didn't even feel bad about it.

"And I don't care that you have mommy and daddy issues. See? We're even in our not-caring about things."

Sasuke shut his visible eye in pain, but didn't cry or scream at Kakashi in anger -- which earned him a few brownie points in Kakashi's eyes – simply taking the pain and mumbling: "I hate you."

"Gee, that hurts so much." Kakashi shrugged and slid his foot off of Sasuke's back, suddenly tired of talking to the Uchiha like this. "Get over it. I'm taking you on this mission whether you like it or not."

It took a moment for him to do so, but after he realized that Kakashi wasn't going to hurt him again Sasuke got back to his feet. The façade he wore came back up as soon as he was back on stable ground, too. "…Whatever."

Kakashi smiled. Obviously miffed at being talked down to and Kakashi's stupid look, the Uchiha turned his back on Kakashi and began to walk away. Kakashi's smile only grew wider as, picking up a rock next to his foot; he pegged Sasuke in the back of the head and made him stumble forward.

Sasuke whirled to face Kakashi, angry. "Agh! What do you want now!?"

Kakashi smirked and tried to act innocent. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Home!" Sasuke screamed, throwing his hands up into the air for effect.

Kakashi looked down to the ground, his hands in his pockets, and smiled, his eyes turning into happy little curves. "Heh. I don't think so…"

He slid into his fighting stance faster than Sasuke had ever seen the Jounin move when sparring. "…This ass-kickery is definitely not done here, you little brat."

Sasuke blinked.

"Are you serious?"

Kakashi smiled.

"Of course."

Sasuke dug his hands into his pockets and stared at the ground. After a long moment, he looked up at Kakashi and smiled. "…Alright then, Hatake-san." The Uchiha started, the use of an honorific outright surprising Kakashi enough to make him miss Sasuke's eyes flashing crimson. "Let's see who's got the better eyes this time around."

Kakashi titled his head to the side, smirking, and pulled up his Hitae-ate.

"Loser buys lunch?"

His only answer was a sneer and a fireball.

XXX

Much like the first time the sword was handed to him, Kakashi was sitting on the center of the rug that lay in the middle of his living room and staring at his father's blade with a mixture of appraisal and fear in his eyes. His fingers ran across the flat side of the thing, its shape already long ingrained in his memory as he slowly; reverently; cautiously turned it around in his hands like he had never seen such a finely crafted weapon before in his life.

Zabuza's sword tears through the air with a scream, slamming into the tree in front of them with a loud, reverberating thwack that makes Kakashi smile.

'Demon of the mist, indeed. He can't even cut through a tree.'

…And the truth was he hadn't. Katana...wakizashi...nodachi...they might have all been called "shinobi weapons," but none of them extolled the simple grace and fine, almost unnatural ease that went with wielding a tanto. Kakashi marveled at how light the weapon felt in his hands and at how natural it was to wield so recklessly without causing harm to oneself; demonstrating this fact quite easily as he flipped the weapon up into the air and caught it by its blade.

'Hm...' he thought as he lowered the blade to eye-level and began to scan its edge for any imperfections. '...Something feels...Off...' With a flourish, he flipped the tanto across the back of his hand and the flat of his palm before grabbing it by the hilt and pointing the narrow blade at the wall in front of him, testing its balance by running through a series of cheap, but effective carnival tricks.

'...Hm.'

Even when it was held prone in one hand, his father's tanto was still quite light. And though the hilt somehow felt like it weighed more than the blade -- as if the business end of the tanto were made of glass or somehow hollow on the inside -- the blade still remained balanced no matter how many times he tried to disprove its craftsmanship.

'Still...'

He held the tanto up to eye-level again, running a finger across the flat part of the blade to check for imperfections. Its edge gleamed in the soft light of the room, casting shadows and flickering splotches of metallic light that danced along the walls -- a perfectly honed piece of metal with not even a scratch on it.

'What's wrong?'

He held his father's tanto up to eye-level again, running a finger across the flat part of the blade to check for imperfections. Its edge gleamed underneath his crucial gaze, the soft light of the room casting shadows and flickering splotches of metallic light dancing against the walls. His eyes followed these dancing wraiths, focusing on them and following the angle they reflected at back to his blade. Any imperfection would cause a broken image or a fuzzy reflection, but...

There were none that he could see.

"What is it?"

Kakashi sighed, and picked up the coarse-soft sharpening stone next to him. Using a piece of wet cloth, he moistened the blade and began to run the stone along its length as roughly as he could, a long-short-long-short grinding pattern soon developing without his meaning to. It took a few hours for him to be satisfied with how much he had progressed, and when he was finished he held up the blade yet again and began to examine it.

"…Hn."

He picked up the sharpening stone again, and went to work.

"Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you," his father had once told him, citing a passage from one of his favorite scrolls.

Rationally, he knew that nothing was wrong with it...But something bothered him about it, like a sort of incessant nagging in the back of his mind. Maybe Gai was right and he was being too obsessive about it. Maybe he was being too critical of his own abilities and there wasn't anything wrong with his father's tanto that he could fix.

…Then again...

Kakashi let out a sharp, derisive snort. It wasn't his lack of ability that caused his discomfort. Something was definitely off about the sword, and knowing it made him let out a sigh.

It was going to be a long night.

XXX

TBC

XXX

You know that I care what happens to you
And I know that you care for me
So I don't feel alone
Or the weight of the stone
Now that I've found somewhere safe
To bury my bone
And any fool knows a dog needs a home
A shelter from pigs on the wing
- "Pigs on the Wing, Parts 1 and 2", Pink Floyd