Chapter 4 Ryan's Journal
Sharpay sat on Ryan's bed and put their breakfast on his bedside dresser, then she did something that she knew she shouldn't, and yet she still did it, she opened his drawer and routed around to see what he had in there. Not much it seemed, a few pens, a notepad, a few magazines, a photo of him and her taken a couple of years ago. She smiled at it fondly, remembering the photo being taken on their fourteenth birthday. Sharpay looked back into the drawer and noticed something else, something that she'd never seen before, a curious thing that said 'Ryan's journal' on the cover. She picked it up carefully, she knew she shouldn't open it, she quickly looked back towards Ryan's bathroom, she could still hear the shower, so she decided to open the journal.
The journal was quite full, Ryan had obviously started writing it from a rather young age, and yet she had never known of it. She started to read somewhere near the beginning, it mostly talked about school and how he never felt as if he fitted in with the guys there. Sharpay smiled sadly, she had known that he felt like this from the way he acted, but to see it written down was upsetting and to be honest, she felt slightly responsible, she had guided him to act the way he did, wear the clothes he did, and because of her he had always felt like an outcast to the rest of the world. And yet, he never once blamed her, not even in his journal. Despite this, recently, since all the drama of the winter auditions, he had become friendly with Troy and Gabriella, and a few of the others as they got to know the real Ryan a little better.
She dwindled on this thought for a while longer before carrying on reading, she flicked through a couple of years of writing, and found the more recent stuff. She noticed that as the journal went on, he had started to write more and more about her:
"…Sharpay is the most wonderful person in the world, she's the only person who truly understands me, my best friend, I'd die without her…"
Sharpay felt her eyes sting as she read, she new that they were as close as anything, but didn't know that he felt that strongly about her. She finally flicked to a piece from quiet recently,
"…I am in love. I am in love with Sharpay. I am in love with my twin sister."
Sharpay read his writing and gasped, she knew he loved her, but as a sister, not in the way he'd written privately here, away from anyone finding out. And the strange thing was, she felt all warm inside, inner peace taking her over, so that when the sound of the shower finally stopped, she didn't notice it.
The bathroom door opened, and a rather wet Ryan with only a towel around his waist appeared. Sharpay quickly rose to her senses and shoved the journal behind her back as Ryan looked up and jumped back in surprise of seeing her sitting on his bed.
"What the hell Sharpay, I already told you a thousand times about knocking!" Ryan said loudly.
"I know, I know," she said, "and I did knock, you just didn't hear me cos you were too busy in the shower, and besides, I brought up breakfast," she said quickly. He took a second to process what she had jus told him before asking her to get him an outfit out of his closet. She nodded and told him to go dry off in the bathroom whilst she did so. He obeyed, and as he shut the door behind him, she quickly grabbed the journal and ran to put it in her room as quickly as she could. She panted on her return and proceeded to Ryan's closet to pick him out an outfit for the party.
"You found me something yet?" he called from inside his bathroom.
"Almost," she called, grabbing the nearest set of clothes and knocking on his bathroom door, this time loud enough for him to hear.
"Thanks," Ryan said, opening the door just enough for her to see his head, she passed them to him and went and sat back down on his bed whilst he changed. Finally, the bathroom door opened properly and Ryan walked out, he looked stunning Sharpay thought to herself. She patted the bed next to her, he looked hesitant at first, but nevertheless came and sat down next to her.
"Breakfast is served," she said handing him some toast, which had now gone a little cold.
"Thanks," he said, smiling at her as he took it. They ate their breakfast side by side on Ryan's bed in silence. She looked at him munching away on his toast, and when he noticed her looking at him, he turned bright red. Sharpay quickly looked away, knowing exactly why he had turned a deep shade of red. Ryan also looked away, not wanting her to see his face, as he was worried of giving himself away. "Eurh…well I'd better go get ready," Sharpay said whilst finishing her toast. Ryan just nodded at her and finished his toast, "I'll take the breakfast stuff downstairs," he told her. She nodded and walked out of his room, to her own to get ready. She opened her closet and sighed loudly, she knew that she'd have to dress perfectly for the party. She knew that she wanted someone to notice her, however, he'd noticed her all her life, whatever she'd been wearing.