II Chapter Two II
Daphne's POV
"You've gotta go back to him sometime..." I say, handing Justin a bowl of popcorn as I sit down on the couch next to him. He's been living with me for nearly three days now. No matter how far we've grown apart in the past, we're always willing to lend each other a hand. I watch silently as he ignores me and dives right into the bowl. I sigh and relax into the couch, turning on the tv.
"Yeah, I will," He says suddenly. I look over at him.
"When?" I ask.
"I dunno," He says and takes another handful. "Maybe tomorrow..."
"Tomorrow?" I laugh. "Yeah, right..." He looks over at me smiling.
"I'm being serious, Daph," He laughs back. I roll my eyes.
"Sure, sure," I taunt. He takes a handful of popcorn and I eye him. "You fucking dare throw that at me-ah!" I squeal when I feel the popcorn hit me and fall off the couch laughing. "You bastard!" I hiss, kneeling and snagging a handful of popcorn to throw at him. Justin just barely manages to dodge it and, before we know it, we're both laughing and giggling and in an all-out popcorn war.
Before too long, there's no more popcorn left in the bowl and we refrain, though the temptations were high, from using the popcorn scattered everywhere in the room as ammo. The two of us collapse side by side on the couch laughing and panting. We haven't done this since...well...since high school, really.
"You're in a better mood," I say between exaggerated breaths. It was the first I noticed this. The past two days, he's been nothing but depressed. Completely. This was the first time I had seen him smile or heard him laugh since he's been with me.
"Yeah," He says between the same exaggerated breaths I'm taking. He laughs. "I guess I just needed to get away from him," He says. My smile fades.
"Justin..." I start. I really don't believe that. I don't know what's made his mood change, but it's not getting away from Brian. It's just...not. His smile drops, too, as he looks over at me.
"Daph, c'mon," He says. I roll my eyes and lay off it. After a while, I hear him mumble something to me.
"Huh?" I ask.
"I said, thanks. ...for everything," He says, giving me a lopsided smile. I smile back and lean on his shoulder. The two of us take a big breath and let it out in exhaustion. I feel him put his arm around me and look up at him.
We don't say anything, but just snuggle a bit.
"I guess we'd better clean this up, huh?" I say, looking around the popcorn-blanketed room. Justin laughs.
"Yeah, we'd better," He replies and the two of us get up off the couch and start picking up the popcorn. During that, we got to talking- just to forget everything. We talk about all the good times we had in the past. All our high school memories when it was just the two of us. We got so consumed, that we didn't even hear the knock on the door, the opening of the door, or even the 'click' of the closing of the door. We didn't even notice anything until we heard a clearing of a throat. Both of us looked up. And that's when we saw Brian- standing there looking on as though amused.
Brian's POV
I look at the two of them and just stare, a cocky smile on my face. They both seemed to be stunned to see me. Tch. Is it such a surprise that I show up unnanounced after not seeing the fucking love of my life for nearly three fucking days in a fucking row? Christ.
Daphne gets up to leave us alone, but I stop her.
"Oh, no, don't stop on my account..." I say, smirk still on my face. She stops, looks back at Justin, and watches as he purses his lips. The two stay completely silent. Truth be told, I enjoyed just watching and listening to the two of them. It was the first time I had seen Justin even slightly happy, even if it was fake, in the past three or four months. And at the first sight of me, his happiness dropped right back to 'depressed' on the meter. I'm the cause of a lot of people's fucking misery. But, normally not Justin's. I haven't done anything wrong this time. Which is why it kind of pisses me off.
I see Daphne look back to me with...wait...is that an expression of pain or anger? I can't rightfully tell. But, why would she be angry at me? Fuck.
She doesn't say anything, but shakes her head and, before I can do anything, she goes off into the other room and shuts the door. Now it's just me and Justin.
Alone.
My smile drops and so does my courage. Neither of us say anything for quite some time and the only movement between the two of us is Justin twirling his thumbs.
"Well?" I hear a small voice say. It's angry, but nervous. Justin still isn't looking at me.
"Well what?" I respond. When he says nothing, I exhale a bit impatiently. "Look. I didn't come to fucking kidnap you. I just came to ask you why the fuck you left me this time," I'm not one for many words. But, I'd really like to tell him that I didn't fucking do anything. At least, not anything that I can think of.
He, still, says nothing. And he, still, won't make eye contact.
"Fuck, Justin, at least fucking say something," I demand. He shakes his head. This is getting a bit annoying. I have a good idea of why he fucking left me, but I want to hear it for myself from his own voice. "Well?" I make my voice more prominent. He finally looks up to me. I expected to see him glaring at me or crying, but he looks neither angry nor depressed. He looks blank. Completely emotionless. For the first time, I can't tell what the hell he's thinking. And, for the first time, I feel the slightest bit of intimidation. "Justin?" I ask in the soft gentle voice I use with Gus.
"What do you want me to say?" He asks in a voice that's barely a whisper.
Perfect. He just fucking turned this entire thing around on me. That bitch. That's when I cave.
"Fuck, Justin, I don't care if you're on anti-depressents!" I say, without thinking. "I'm just fucking pissed that you're trying to fucking hide all this from me!" I yell. If he's by any way startled by my reaction, I can't tell because he doesn't move and his expression doesn't even flinch.
"That's not the reason I left you," He says simply. I blink.
"It's not?"
"No."
"Then...what is?"
He stops and looks around- not nervously, but just to have something to do. My brow furrows in a mix of confusion and the upcoming headache I know will arrive any minute if he doesn't stop fucking messing with me.
"Brian?"
"Yes?"
"You don't care if I'm on anti-depressents?"
"No."
"Would you care if I was on drugs?"
"That depends, legal or illegal?"
"Illegal."
Fuck. This was not what I was expecting. So, he is on drugs? Then, where the fuck does he have them all? It's not that I care if he's on drugs. I've taken plenty of my share. All I care is if he's addicted to drugs.
"Not exactly," I say. For the first time today, I see an expression that mirrors my own on his face; pure confusion.
"Not exactly?" He asks, mimicing my words.
"No."
"What do you mean 'not exactly'?"
"I mean I don't care if you're on illegal drugs."
"..." Justin opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it and gives me and even stronger look of confusion. "Then your answer would be 'no', right?" He asks slowly, as though having to think if every word is right or not. I shake my head.
"No...My answer would be 'not exactly'," I say, confusing him even more.
"Brian..." He says in that tone. I roll my eyes and give in.
"I'd only fucking care if you were a fucking addict," I admit.
"And if I was?"
"Then I'd care," I say, not exactly catching what he's actually trying to ask me.
"No," He says, shaking his head. "I mean, what would you do," He corrects.
"Well, I'd-" I stop, suddenly realizing I don't know what I'd do. "...I don't know...Probably try to forget about it and hope to fucking hell you check yourself into rehab...why? Are you an addict?"
"No," He shrugs. "I was just wondering."
You don't "just wonder", Sunshine. You don't "just wonder".
Emmett's POV
I'm staring at him- just in awe. I don't think I've ever seen Brian drink this much before. Like...ever.
"Brian?" I ask, raising my voice so he can hear me. We're both sitting at the bar in Babylon where the music's blasting. "You okay, sweetie?" I put a hand on his shoulder as he downs his ump-teenth shot of God-know's-what.
"Hey, Em?" He says in a drunken slur. I raise an eyebrow.
"Yeah?"
"What'd ya do to get Ted into rehab?" He asks. It almost makes my heart stop. He know's how I am about reliving those days...those dark unfabulous day.
"Nothing," I reply truthfully. I can't really think of anything I did. I'd never force Teddy into rehab. No matter what. "He just went on his own one day." He nods and takes another shot. I watch him for a while, before I get a bit worried. "Why do you ask?" He looks up at me under drooping eyelids as though surprised to see me here.
"Huh?" He mumbles.
"I said, why do you ask?" I say, rolling my eyes. He lets out a big sigh.
"No fucking reason," He mutters. I guess even when completely intoxicated, Brian Kinney still manages to keep people out of his personal life. So, I butt out and stay silent for a little, leaning back on the counter and watching everyone as they dance away, oblivious to the trouble going on in the world. I love that feeling.
I think about this entire situation for a while. Why would Brian ask me about that? It doesn't take me long to think of the one most obvious reason and confront him on it.
"Brian, is Justin on drugs?" I ask. It seems totally absurd, but it's the only logical explanation. Or...wait, wait! "Is Michael on drugs?" I ask. He looks at me like I'm insane, then laughs. I blink. Maybe...maybe I was wrong?
"Michael?" He asks me in a tone of bisbeleif. I can feel my brow furrow.
"Well...I figured it was either Justin or-" I stop. At the mention of Justin, his expression drops and I suddenly understand. "It's Justin, isn't it? Justin's having the same problem as Teddy had...isn't he?" I ask, my voice dropping to even more depressive than before. I don't like to hear my voice that way- or anyone's voice for that matter. It's just, well...for lack of better adjective, depressing, y'know? But, the look Brian gives me beats every depressive tone I've ever heard of.
"Hm..." He shakes his head. I don't know if that means yes or no at this point.
"...Brian," I say slowly, my tone getting more serious than before to match the matter at hand. "If you need to talk to someone, I'm right here." He looks up at me and scoffs.
"So, whaddo I do to get Justin some help?" He asks. So...it is Justin. I'm sure, though, Brian wouldn't be telling me this if he was in any way, shape, or form sober.
"Well..." I say, trying to think. I remember thinking about this a lot when Teddy was having problems. I remember thinking about nearly a hundred different ways to get him to cooperate with me. But, none of them worked- at least none that I can remember. "Have you tried talking to him?" I start off with the most stereotypical answer. He thinks for a bit.
"Yes...no..." A small pause. "Kind of," He says after a little bit. I purse my lips.
"Kind of?" I ask. He nods.
"Mmhmm. Not really, no...no, not really...Well, I guess...kind of...Fuck, Em, I dunno..." He spouts. Now I'm sure he's not exactly in his right state of mind. He doesn't know what he's saying. I figure this is going to get us no where and give up.
"Well, then try talking to him about it... It might help," I say tenderly, giving a weak smile. I know what it's like to be in Brian's position right now. I know the pain of having a loved one suffer and being able to do nothing about it. No one should have to go through that.
Not even the biggest asshole on Liberty Ave.
Justin's POV
I'm back in the loft. Somehow, Daphne convinced me to go back to him. Don't ask me how- sometimes she can just make me do things that no one else can.
I don't know why I asked Brian those questions earlier today. I'm not on drugs. That's just not my style. Sure, I'll take a bit of crystal if Brian offers me some, but not enough to get me high or anything; just enough to "satisfy", if you catch my drift. Besides, drugs would ruin everything I've worked for. I'm not gonna screw all that up.
I'm laying on the floor by the couch and staring up at the ceiling. Y'know, with all the money Brian had when he got this place, he could've done something a bit nicer with the ceiling. It's so...bland and boring. The artist inside me just itches to paint or draw something on it. It makes me anxious, almost. It's a strange feeling I'm sure not many people would understand.
I hear the door open suddenly with a bang and jump at the sound. I wasn't expecting such a rough entrance. I expect to see Brian walking in with some trick or by his lonesome, but I'm surprised to see Emmett supporting the drunkest Brian I've ever seen to get to the bed. I hear Brian mumbling something, but the slurring of his words is so bad I can't comprehend it. Emmett brings him over to the bed and settles him in it. It's a bit amusing to see him tuck Brian in as though he were his mother and give him a light kiss on the forehead. I almost crack a smile.
When Emmett turns and sees me by the couch, he doesn't smile warmly at me like he normally does. His lips part slightly in what seems to be an awkward pre-question. I blink and look around me, then back to Emmett.
"What happened to Brian?" I ask, trying to break the tension between us. Emmett purses his lips and struts over to a reasonable distance to talk.
"Well..." He says slowly, raising both eyebrows. "That would be..." He stops and sighs, looking a bit concerned at me. "He's worried about you," He says suddenly after a short pause. I freeze. Brian Kinney... worried? About...me?
"But..." I'm so confused all of a sudden. He said... "He said he didn't care that I was on anti-depressents," I say absentmindedly, trying to sort everything out in my head. I'm immediately surprised to see Emmett's eyes widen, as though in shock.
"He..." Emmett starts. "He never said anything about you being on anti-depressents..." He says slowly. I bite my lower lip.
"O-oh..." I stutter, feeling that tingle of nervousness spread through me. I never meant to tell anyone that other than Brian.
"Are...are you?" He asks suddenly in a stunned voice. I let my eyes dart to the side and take an unusual interest in the ladybug struggling to climb up the wall.
"Yeah," I shrug. I feel Emmett's gaze on me. I suddenly look back up to him, remembering the matter at hand. "Why's Brian worried about me?" Now it's Emmett's turn to avoid eye contact.
"Well..." He starts again. "That would be the fact that you're doing something you shouldn't be," He says. I feel my confusion rising.
"'Something I shouldn't be'?" I ask. He looks at me and our eyes lock. He's giving off the vibes that I should know the answer to this.
"The..." He purses his lips and stays silent for a second. "...the drugs," He finally says. I feel a wave of relaxation sweep over me and a wave of sickening surprise hit me simultaneously.
"Drugs?" I laugh disbeleivingly. "I'm not on drugs," I say, an awkward smile spread across my face. Emmett stares at me.
"You're not?"
"No..."
Emmett gives me a look, then shakes his head. With a sigh, he turns and walks towards the door before I can question him any further. Whence he's out, he pauses.
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, sweetheart," He whispers slowly before closing the door. I can just feel the smile slide off my face.
Denial?