Disclaimer: Not making any money here! This is a fan fic, if I owned Gundam Wing you can bet I wouldn't be here!...or maybe I would, guess we'll never find out!
--I went to sleep for two hours around midnight, and then I got out of bed at 3:56 realizing I wasn't going to get any more sleep and turned on my computer instead. I typed three pages and then gave up when inspiration did. -T-yped a bit more when I went to visit my parents. --Typing more while roommate is at work and dyeing my hair green at the same time. Guess what day it is tomorrow!? --WARNING Graphic Deaths ahead, I'll typing more day after St. Patty's. --Dyeing my hair again! Wow, this is getting to be a habit. Multi-colors! Pink, red, purple, blue and green. W00t! Finally finished it! One more chapter to go...Review so I know if I did good or if the dye fumes have eaten my brain!
Scars
Chapter 19: Burn
Duo woke two days later and Roan came in to get him shortly after. He was allowed to sleep as much as he could, but unfortunately for him, Duo wasn't used to sleeping in. And so, Duo would wake after less than eight hours and Roan would come for him within minutes and then it was back to the office and the fake program he was working on for Carigan.
"Good morning sunshine." Duo smiled at Roan. In those first few hours working at the computer on that first day Duo had found Shinigamii. Now Duo found himself falling into old habits he'd forgotten he'd had. He pushed the limits with Roan, but couldn't seem to get any reaction, which bothered a part of him, but he couldn't seem to get any real concern going for himself.
In fact, Duo had all but pushed everything else from his mind. Heero was one of the few things that were still lingering on. As hard as he tried, Duo couldn't seem to completely get rid of Heero, although it wasn't all too surprising since he'd never really been able to. Even in the direst of situations, Heero only ever disappeared from his mind completely when he was facing mortal peril and he had no thoughts beyond his mission at the time.
Duo relaxed his shoulders as Roan reached out and grabbed Duo by the upper arm, the only place he'd ever really touched Duo beyond the breaking of his leg that first day. But it was all Roan needed, he had the strength to keep Duo in check in his current state. Or so Duo was letting him think. Duo could tell when someone was underestimating him and Roan was guilty, so much so that Duo wondered how good he actually was. Maybe it was all an act.
Or maybe he was just that good of an actor, Except for that feeling that Duo got whenever he looked Roan in the eyes. Duo tried to never overestimate himself, but he was really stuck on this one he would have to wait and see how things played out. Being cocky got you killed faster than cracking jokes at people with guns trained at your head. But that was just how Shinigamii worked.
Duo was ready to go back to his little room with the computer, to work some more on his fake program, but he wasn't lead there. Instead Duo was dragged in the opposite direction, led down halls for a different part of the building. Duo instantly started asking questions, talking nonsense, keeping Roan's and any one who was watching him, attuned to his babbling rather than his roaming eyes.
Duo had instantly started memorizing things when Roan had started to lead him in a different direction. He'd been out cold when they'd taken him to his room, had passed out from the severe pain of having a bone reset without any anesthetic. Now he was seeing just how he'd gotten there and was memorizing the way back and every room they passed. Duo had always had a flare for memorization during the war. He'd been able to memorize building plans when going on a mission, including anything else he'd needed to finish his mission. In fact, the only one who'd been able to rival his skills had been Heero who had always seemed just one step ahead.
It was all the stimulant his mind needed. Even as Duo memorized the exact location of a weapons storeroom a part of his mind started wondering about Heero. Where he was, what he was doing, was he out there looking for him, was he out there mourning for him? Assuming him dead by now and trying to move on with his life? Some of his thoughts made him sick, made him nervous and desperate, and yet, one part of him seemed to be undeterred in its ever present faith. It had sparked to life in that one moment in the hospital when Duo had been allowed to see love in Heero's eyes and had only grown as their love did. In face of all their problems it was there. Not making anything better, but making it bearable. It was more like a goal than a cure all.
It was that something that kept Duo going when he was facing the worst of his lows. Even now, it was as if there was a small voice in his head that sounded exactly like his lover that said with unrenounced certainty that Carigan could not, under any circumstances, get his hands on this program.
So for the time being Duo allowed himself to be dragged along by Roan and watched the different halls and closed doors drift by with rapt attention while he pretended to be preoccupied with Roan's physique and possible work out routine. It was his fourth day being trapped in Carigan's fortress and so far he had a strict routine of getting up, being allowed use of the facilities, and being taken to his small office. Meals were brought to him and he was escorted to the bathroom when he expressed a need for it. His past days had been narrowed down to that one hallway, so today was something of a confusion and cause for paranoia, this change of schedule.
Duo found himself, after a few turns, all of which he memorized, back on familiar ground. He recognized their current location as a hallway he'd seen just off to the side of the main one that lead to Carigan's office. Duo had a fair guess as to where they were headed and was rewarded when Roan knocked three times on Carigan's office door and then dragged Duo inside. Duo grinned widely, making himself look innocent, but not even pretending to be in pain since it seemed they were still slipping pain killers into his food. He didn't really mind that, at this point he was choosing comfort and ability over possible addiction since he'd already decided that he wasn't getting out of this mess before it all went to hell.
Shinigamii snuck up on him, slipped into place before he'd even realized it and Duo found himself looking at Carigan in a new light as the man stared at him across his large desk. Duo just stood there, grinning back at him, waiting for the silence to be broken.
"Duo," Carigan's voice was already stressed, Duo could hear it, he was mad. "Why aren't you done yet?"
Duo grinned back, never changing his eyes, letting them stare back at Carigan with the same hardness he was receiving. "I had to start over from scratch Carigan, it's not as easy as I make it look." Duo let out a little chuckle at his own joke, Shinigamii making it high and slightly crazed.
Carigan's eyebrows darted together in anger. "I'm not sure I heard you correctly, are you saying that even though you've already created this program once before, that it is taking longer to create it a second time?"
"Ah, no. Carigan, I never finished the first one. And my memory is getting bad in my old age, these things take time." Duo grinned back, his eyes boring back into Carigan's, who looked away first.
"You have until tomorrow to finish my program Maxwell." Carigan said with resigned anger dwelling just below his eyes. "We wouldn't want to have to break that other leg of yours." Carigan sneered.
Duo couldn't help it, he laughed. Carigan's eyebrows darted together in anger, his threat not working as he had expected it too. It just made Duo all the more amused.
Duo watched Carigan walk back around his desk, purposefully turning his back on Duo to show that he was not afraid of the ex Gundam pilot. The gesture was not lost on Duo. Shinigamii curled up inside him like a contented, lazy cat locked inside the canary cage. Duo fell into laughter and Carigan had him ordered from the room.
Duo giggled being dragged all the way down the main hall till Roan shook him hard and he let his fit trail off. Roan dragged him all the way back to his office, keeping him off balance purposefully. Duo let him, Shinigamii stirring to anger inside him, watching as they passed the weapons storeroom again.
When they got back to Duo's little temporary habitat Roan forcibly sat him in his swivel chair and then turned it away from the desk. Duo felt a part of him go quiet fairly quickly while Shinigamii's smile grew even wider in the face of Roan's stony silence.
"Pushed it too far didn't I?" Duo laughed, but chocked it down before it grew into a fit again and watched Roan pull out a knife from seemingly nowhere. Duo was pretty proud of how calm he stayed. He felt the cold, hard part of him that killed come into his eyes as he watched the knife brought down on him.
Duo didn't move, didn't make a sound, and somehow managed to keep his pulse from jumping out of his neck. Punishment, but instead of something simple, like breaking a leg, Carigan was apparently going to be dramatic. Dramatic and Ironic.
Duo felt the blade, not in the moment it cut his skin, but in the second after that. Roan dragged the blade through his skin not as if he were trying to cut Duo, but to skin him. The pain was far worse than what Duo had felt when he'd first been given his collection. Roan did not hesitate; in fact he started in on Duo's face right away.
Long, long nights ago, Duo's attackers had had to work up to marring Duo's face, had been reluctant even then. As if it made everything more real. As if they realized they were cutting, burning a person, not just a God Damned Gundam Pilot. But Roan knew exactly what he was doing, knew how to hold the knife properly and knew just how to take the skin away in little strips.
It was his left cheek, almost exactly parallel to his cheekbone. One strip. Blood pouring down his chin, it was low on his face, leaving room for more on top of that, leaving skin clean of blood so that Roan could see what he was doing.
Another strip. Duo wouldn't let any sound escape his lips. The part of him that had started screaming started struggling inside him when the knife had first come out had been shoved down and out. Stuffed into the dark and gagged. The second strip only served to numb him more, and he was able to look up at Roan, able to meet his eyes instead of staring at the wall behind him.
What Duo saw there made Shinigamii rear his head and see Roan more completely. Excitement.
This act, this blood, this cleaving of the skin excited Roan on some level. Just flat did it for him. Roan took a sick pleasure in his job, had been sought out for his skills, or had learned them at the hands of men like Carigan.
Duo stared into those dark eyes as Roan took a third strip, but only had eyes for his work. Duo felt the blade cut deeper and knew this one would mare his worse than the others. That this one would ache in the cold weather, that it would make people turn away, turn away in fear and disgust. He knew this one would never leave him alone.
He'd feel it, without any mirror he would see it forever, without someone else's eyes on him, he would feel his own. Shinigamii twitched with anger and it gave Roan pause as he smiled down at Duo, oh so pleased with his work. Roan had the severed skin lain out, as if they were trophies, lain out on some kind of cloth as if they could be mounted later.
Shinigamii recognized his kind, they'd seen his kind in the war, sick fucks who went the extra mile for OZ, not because of some kind of loyalty or belief in what they were fighting for, but because war allowed them to truly be the monsters they were. War allowed them, gave them permission, to live out every little fantasy that plagued them with longing and brought them pleasure. Shinigamii knew how to handle men like this, had watched their last breath leave them more than once in the past, and Duo knew that this was his own monster.
That a part of him was more than satisfied to see that last heart beat inside these men, part of him relished in watching life leave their eyes, leaving them dull and dead. Duo remembered having to come to terms with that more than once, knew that he had to accept himself for what he was other wise it would eat him alive. But it had been so much easier when he hadn't had Heero's scrutinizing gaze behind his own eyes and his voice whispering in his ear.
Now that Duo had a part of him that saw everything through Heero's eyes, or as close as could be imagined, that part of him that was pure monster was so much harder to accept.
Roan didn't seem to like what he was seeing going on behind Duo's eyes, his fantasy was being taken from him, so he tried to bring it back around to his terms. Duo didn't really see the blow coming though he was looking right at it. He was still seeing himself as he thought Heero might, so the fist coming straight at his fresh wounds caught him off guard and he wasn't able to take the blow as well as he could have.
The pain lanced through him, creating a storm in his head that crashed around till a throbbing took over and he was able to see again. The immediate pain was good news, it meant that Roan hadn't hit him as hard as he could have, but the disorientation that came with it was worrying. Duo found himself on the ground and couldn't remember the fall or the impact that should have gone with it.
Duo was picked up after a minute and put back in the chair. Duo saw something that might have been worry in Roan's eyes and Duo wondered how much liberty he'd been given for this task and if that hit had just crossed some invisible line. Shinigamii smiled; pleased that they could have caused Roan even a little bit of pain for this, though it might be through something so indirect.
Duo sat patiently and calmly while the doctor was brought back and looked at Duo's face. Stitches couldn't be used since there was skin missing in gaps that would never be closed and all that the doctor could offer was some kind of gel and gauze. The bandage seemed to take up all of his face as Duo sat there while the doctor checked his eyes for some sign of a concussion. She got a confused look on her face while Duo quietly answered a few questions for her about the date and time. She left unnerved in the face of Shinigamii staring back at her out of Duo's eyes and left quickly.
Roan disappeared for a time and was replaced by Wyn, the man with the driving skills and Duo knew a reprimand was taking place somewhere in this large complex and smiled for it. He pretended to go back to work and though Wyn didn't have quite the talent with language that Martin had, he was nowhere near as stoic as Roan. So he offered up a few jokes while Roan was gone and Duo was distracted enough to be less "productive" than he usually was. It was also an opportunity presenting itself that Duo could not ignore.
Duo immediately started to calculate, making compensations for his busted leg. Everything had to be given more time, which he hated, but he wasn't going to let this get away from him. He might be slower but he was in no way any less dangerous or determined. Duo knew his chances of getting out of her alive were falling lower all the time, so he just pushed forward and put that part of the plan out of his mind. He was going to run this as he might have during the war. This was his last mission, every mission was his last, leaving no room for error, if he got out alive in the end, it was just an added bonus.
"Hey, Wyn?" Duo pushed away from the computer, being overly careful to take his leg off its little ottoman. "Can I get a bathroom break?" Wyn hadn't been hanging around and Duo was more than willing to guess he really had no idea what was going on, had just been given instructions on what to do with Duo and nothing on his condition. And Duo was pleased to see he was right. Wyn apparently had no idea that he should be keeping a hand on Duo; instead he was offering Duo help in getting up and out of the chair.
"Thanks man." Duo pulled a grin out of nowhere that was dazzling and he knew it made his eyes look bigger and his features look elfish. Wyn smiled back and escorted him out of the room. Duo knew where all the cameras were now and knew that there was only one in the bathroom pointed into the middle of the room. Duo hadn't liked the idea that these men were keeping eyes on him at all times, even in the bathroom, but now it gave him an idea. He buddied up to Wyn as he waddled into the bathroom, putting emphasis on his injury.
"Wyn…ummm…can you cover me while…uh…ya see, I can't stand an…awe man!" Duo put a little stutter in his voice and called up a blush. He looked down and away, keeping his eyes exposed to Wyn through his bangs and making them skirt around as if he were nervous.
Wyn looked confused and then looked up to see the camera and laughed. Duo forced himself to blush harder and let himself be a source of amusement to Wyn.
"Hey sure, No problem." Wyn moved so that he was shadowing Duo as he moved into one of the stalls that had no door. "They're all sick fucks upstairs, I wouldn't want to have to take a piss in here either." He faced out with his back to Duo and rocked on his heels while Duo played at working down his pants. He wanted to yell at Wyn, such an armature thing to do! You never give the enemy your back and you don't fall for the act he'd just fed Wyn! Stupid; get you killed stupid.
Duo cursed himself for not wearing a belt, for the fact that he'd stopped binding his braid with a hidden wire and that they'd taken away any towels or…well, anything he could have used for strangling. But he was far from helpless. He didn't have enough time to get his brace off his leg and use that, so Duo knew he would have to do what he really didn't want to, what he had avoided doing though most of the war, use his bare hands.
First Duo slipped out of his left shoe enough so that he could lean against the wall and kick it off. He used to shoe to both smash the camera and distract Wyn.
Wyn looked up at the camera and Duo used a little leverage from the toilet, the fact that his leg didn't hurt at all didn't go by unnoticed, and simply jumped on to Wyn's back. He was just grateful he could pull this off, if he could manage this, it was going to make the plan go more smoothly. Everything else would've had to been changed, but the fact that he could make even that small a jump showed him just how effective the drugs they were slipping him were. How ironic that the very thing that had hindered him so, helped him out now, but a small part of him did stand up and question what was going to happen when whatever he was on now was worked out of his system?
Duo let Shinigamii wash over him as his thoughts buzzed around, anything to distract him from the feel of Wyn under his hands, fighting for air, cursing him with what little air he could get down. Duo kept his hands tight on Wyn's neck, fighting to find his windpipe and then crushing it as best he could, work his fingers to lace together and squeeze together. Wyn jerked beneath him, panic settling in and he staggered about, throwing himself back into the wall, trying to knock Duo lose. But Duo held on, ignoring the slamming his body took as Wyn beat him against the wall. He felt it when Wyn was able to ram him back into something that wasn't just wall, but with the camera broken someone would be coming soon to check and see what had happened and Duo suspected that it wasn't going to be long enough to take Wyn down.
What he needed was a weapon, a gun, a knife, a fucking spoon! Something. Duo blinked rapidly as a particularly hard blow knocked his head against the tiled wall. He tucked in close, leaving his back exposed but keeping everything else buried against Wyn. He concentrated on breathing and tried to ignore how fast Wyn's pulse was going beneath his fingers.
Four minutes, he'd read somewhere that it took four minutes to successfully strangle someone to death. Four minutes was a surprisingly long time when you had to hold someone down while they struggled against you to live, a long time to hold someone's pulse beneath your fingers, beating frantically against your own. Duo didn't know how long they'd been there, but as soon as he'd wondered that Wyn sort of collapsed beneath him, his legs giving out first in his losing battle against Shinigamii.
Duo knew he was holding on long enough to knock Wyn out, but to be sure of death he would have to keep holding on, which was just weird when Wyn wasn't moving anymore. Shinigamii was so close to him now that he wasn't sure which one of them was killing Wyn, which served him just fine. He wasn't sure he could be doing this without his other persona. Shinigamii was the part of him that allowed him to do this.
Shinigamii didn't enjoy this though, no, not even a little bit. Duo was glad of that, otherwise he would have turned himself in a long time ago to a psyche ward for schizophrenia. No, Shinigamii was just practical. Yet, the smile still bothered him. The fact that through everything, he was still smiling.
The door burst open and five men came running in. Duo was glad when Roan wasn't among them; he wasn't going against that man without at least a knife in his hand, if not a gun! Duo let go a Wyn, well aware that he fell short of the four minute limit, knowing that the man might get up again and cause him problems, but the men coming in had guns, and he could take care of that later. He had no problem with shooting someone who was a threat to him, no problem at all, but the feel of Wyn's life under his hands still sent a cold thrill down his spine.
The five men quickly surrounded him, pulling out guns and sighting them on him. But Duo knew better than to let them get into position, he moved as soon as the door had burst open. He instantly threw himself right at the man closest to him, and as suspected it threw him off. Most people holding guns didn't expect their target to come crashing towards them, regardless of a loaded gun. Truth be told most people aren't that stupid, but Duo had nothing left to lose in his mind, so he simply threw everything to the wind and trusted that the man would be thrown off just enough to not pull the trigger.
Duo hit him with his shoulder, low to the stomach and hip area and they both went down in a tangle of arms and legs. Duo wrestled the gun from the man, breaking a few of his fingers along the way, effectively making him drop the gun rather than risking a shot going off since the gun was mostly pointed down at their tangle of legs.
The other men didn't shot, as Duo had suspected, since their comrade was still in the line of fire and Duo knocked hi away with an elbow to the nose and got his shots lined up. He took down three, the first one at the knees since he wasn't quiet clear of his first victim yet, before they gave up trying not to shoot each other and just fired into the fray. Duo felt a shot to his injured leg distantly, knowing that couldn't be good, but not really giving it proper thought. He just let it go and sighted down the barrel of his gun and shot another man between the eyes and a bullet passed severely close to his ear.
Duo took refuge behind the bodies that were pilling up around him while his last man ducked into one of the open stalls. Duo paused, waiting, watching the feet disappear from view in that little gap underneath the stall wall, meaning that his last target was standing up on the toilet stool.
Duo became aware of his hearing slowly coming back when a slight ringing in his ears started to make his teeth clench and unclench in annoyance. The sound fro the guns were loud by themselves but they had been amplified by the tiled walls, echoing off each other before Duo had a chance to notice one of his senses was gone. He wondered as he waited idly, with a seeming unending patience stealing over him, how much he had missed. How man curses had been slung his way, or even if he last target were trying to say something to him now. The only other thing he could hear besides the ringing was the sound of blood rushing past his ears in time with his heartbeat. Beyond that, everything was a crushing silence that made him want to pop his ears.
Duo didn't have time for this waiting game. With the cameras out, someone was probably still watching the cameras out in the hall, waiting for some kind of signal. Duo had no doubt that if they didn't get that signal soon that more men would be sent in, and he needed to be in a larger space to deal with more men the way the bodies were filling up this bathroom now. So Duo aimed at the toilet beneath the man and started to raise the gun straight up from that point until he was halfway up the stall wall and just started firing into that metal barrier. It wasn't that thick and turned out to be hollow. And since Duo now had other guns from the men who'd fallen around him, he had more bullets.
He saw the body fall onto the floor before he spilled out of the stall, dead. Then Duo found that he had two, no, three, men still alive around him. The man who'd taken a shot to the knees was braced against the wall, but had no gun, he was just watching Duo with a blatant mixture of fear and anger burning in his eyes. But the man whose gun he now had in his hands, the one who was bleeding down the whole front of his face from where Duo had knocked him in the nose, was quickly moving for a fallen gun, ignoring Duo and his now dead comrades.
Duo raised himself up onto his knees and one hand for a better shot and got him with a hit between the shoulders that came out the front of his neck, leaving a gapping hole that reminded Duo faintly of someone who had smoked too long and lost their throat to cancer. Duo turned then, switched out the magazine in his gun for another one in a discarded gun and took the last two hits. One into the man braced up against the wall which left a hole and smear of blood on the wall and then one into the unconscious Wyn whose body jerked and then lay even more still than it had been.
Duo stood shakily, distancing himself from the carnage around him, ignoring the growing smell of blood and dead bodies releasing their bowls from the absence of control. Duo breathed through his mouth and went around collecting another gun and the rest of the magazines and storing them in his pockets. He'd be slow to reload in a fire fight, but at least he'd have the extra ammo.
Duo started shooting cameras as soon as he was out the door. From this point on everything was going to be on his terms. Duo walked calmly and quietly back the way he'd been dragged by Roan only a few hours ago, though even with only that one event between then and now it felt like years had gone by. Duo shot each camera as it came into view, well aware of where they had been placed, recognizing a pattern used in many of the buildings he'd used to blow up during the war. There were holes, but it was an erratic set up, he'd been able to maneuver it during the war, sneaking up on the control room without ever being seen, but that wasn't his goal this time.
Duo just walked straight down the hallway, shooting one camera after another, imagining what it must be like for the guys watching him as one after another all their screens turned to static. It made him smile, almost laugh, but he bolstered that urge down, recognizing it for the bad idea it was to start laughing now.
Duo could hear people just beyond his sight, rallying for an assault on him, but they were too late. Someone had either underestimated how fast he was moving or just forgot what rooms were between him and them because he had the weapons storeroom in his sights.
Duo sauntered in, locking the door behind him and could hear curses behind him from one hallway down as someone seemed to finally realized where he was. Duo took out the two cameras in the room and then started moving meticulously along the shelves and shelves of guns, ammo, grenades, knives and finally, explosives.
Everything was neatly labeled and obsessively orderly, it was all too easy. Duo found a vest that was only one size too big for him and fit it in place. It was lined with Kevlar and had more pockets than anyone would need in a lifetime.
Duo began loading up, slinging two different types of guns over his shoulders, loading more ammunition into his pants pockets and some of the lower pockets on his vest and the rest he filled up with explosives, transmitters and a detonation trigger.
Duo loosened his brace allowing for more movement, knowing he was probably screwing his leg up so bad it would never heal right, but he just needed it to last the next few hours, after that it wouldn't matter. He tested his range of movement and jogged across the room to see how it would handle that and felt a chill run up his spine when again his leg didn't give any signs that it was broken at all.
Duo ignored the whispering in his head that told him to just hole himself up in this room and wait for Heero to come, that it'd been long enough that Heero would be here soon, that if he could just hold out a little longer he wouldn't have to do any of the things that lay before him. But Duo knew too much to believe that voice; he knew his odds were lost and that there was very little chance Heero would find him tonight, tomorrow or at all. Carigan wasn't an idiot…well; he wasn't dumb enough to let anyone find this place who wasn't invited.
Duo steeled his resolve and threw open the door, he was down on his good knee, letting his bad leg splay out to the side, braced up against the door jamb. All the fire that peppered the doorway went straight over his head and Duo began taking down gunmen. He took two to the chest before the gun fire ceased and Duo spared a thought as to what a bad idea it had been to fill his confiscated vest with explosives.
He could feel the bruises blossoming on his chest as he stood and started down the hallway again. He was just glad he hadn't sustained a cracked rib yet. It was a common thing when taking bullets and wearing Kevlar and it would slow him down even more than his leg, but he was doing well so far.
He'd already set up a good deal of explosives to his detonator in the weapons store room, that one would make the biggest bang when he set it all off, but he needed more than that to bring this place down. So Duo started to systematically make his way around the complex, setting more bombs set to his detonator and avoiding the searches for him when he could.
He took out most of the security, cursing himself for not finding out where all these cameras led to, but knowing that he'd taken out enough of their surveillance that at this point it didn't matter. He set explosives at all the doors he could find that lead outside, stopping himself several times from just walking away. If he just left now he knew it'd only be a matter of time before Carigan came after him again, he needed to end this now, taking himself out with it.
Duo worked his way in a sort of spiral through the complex, starting with the outer hallways and working towards the center where Carigan's office was. He was guessing the man would still be there. Sure, it was in his best interest to leave, to take his plane and leave, but when was the last time the bad guys were that smart. Carigan's ego was just big enough to ensure that he was still there, still so sure that his men would take down Duo before he could come after him with his own guns.
Duo had lost track of how many he had killed, purposefully forgot to keep track as he walked the halls, letting the part of him that killed surface and lead him to the man in charge of a small army of men that reminded him so much of OZ. Carigan's madness couldn't be contained, his mind shown through with a sever case of obsessive compulsive disorder. Duo could see signs of the man everywhere, the way all his men dressed, the layout of this complex, the set up of his security systems, all of it screamed paranoia and ego, a bad combination.
Yet he still held all the same flaws that got all these men killed one day, and Duo took his knowledge of these flaws and extorted it to the best of his abilities.
Duo marched himself up the stairs that lead to Carigan's office, stopping when he hit the middle, a small landing suspended in the air dramatically, leaving him exposed on all sides, but it didn't really matter now. He'd already set the top level to blow and had just finished setting his traps on the bottom level, making sure the ones who were going to be lucky enough to get out of here wouldn't soon forget him, or underestimate his past again.
Duo waved and smiled at the camera he'd left there at the head of the stairs, knowing the smile didn't reach his eyes and pulled out his detonator. He held it dramatically in front of himself, mimicking his lover's suicide on purpose, hoping he'd succeed where Heero didn't, knowing that his failure would mean Carigan's survival.
He pushed the button and everything around him transformed from concrete and metal to a blazing hell that burned and raged throughout the building Carigan called home.
The force of the impact sent Duo forward, his arms lashing out and barely hitting the floor before his face did, catching enough of the impact to save him broken bones, but not taking enough to save him from most of it. The air whooshed out of him and left him coughing, straining for the hot air that made his lungs itch and his eyes tear.
Duo looked up, not seeing anyone around, taking heart that they were all dead or trying to get out of there rather than stay behind to keep fighting him. Duo pushed up, his arms showing the burns from the heat of that first explosion. He could still hear it going off somewhere to his left, sure that that was the weapons store room. Duo stopped himself from rubbing his arms, leaving the burns alone. He started walking up the stairs again.
He found that his brace on his leg was trying to come off, parts of it melted away. Duo took a second to tie it off, he needed it to get up the stairs, regardless of the fact that he could have probably walked without it with the drugs still working, but a distant prickling sensation made him weary.
So Duo climbed, using what was left of the hand railing to get himself up, ignoring the heat that was building around him. He didn't like that his mind was reminding him that most people in burning buildings didn't die from the smoke or the building coming down on them, but from the heat. He just pushed, pushed and pushed, ignoring everything else, he wouldn't make the mistake of not making sure Carigan was dead, he was going to see that man's brains spilled out before he'd believe him truly gone form this world!
Duo pushed at the door, half off its hinges and walked into Carigan's office which was amazingly untouched by the heat, but quickly warming up. The windows were gone, but the door and reinforced walls had saved him from most of the general explosion, leaving him disgruntled with only minor injuries. One of which was a blow to the head which had blood running into his right eye, which made him only look more crazed as his eyes came to rest on Duo.
"MAXWELL!!!" he yelled and Duo smiled, pulling up the gun from his side and sighting on Carigan. A shot between the eyes should do it; a nice big exit wound to the head would have him down and beyond the count.
Duo was vaguely aware of the gun in Carigan's hand coming up from behind the desk, his own forehead itching from the sight on it that he couldn't see. But it was all distant.
"You're just like me, don't kid yourself into thinking this martyr act is fooling anyone, you're far worse than I could ever be, you're a terrorist, you're a murderer, a killer, a…" Duo shut him up, then calmly walked around the desk and fired into Carigan until his gun clicked empty, reloaded and emptied another clip into the dead body at his feet.
"I know I am." Duo whispered to the body, "I'm Shinigamii."
Wu Fei wasn't driving nearly fast enough for Heero. They had seen the smoke and light from the explosion while they were still ten miles away. Heero's heart had stopped. They'd spent too long trying to find Carigan, too long getting there, too long and now Duo was…
Wu Fei had picked up speed and Ember had laid a hand on his shoulder from the back seat. Heero pushed those betraying thoughts from his mind and gripped the dashboard harder, urging Wu Fei on by sheer will. He willed Duo to be outside, waiting for him, willed him to have gotten himself far away from an explosion like that, but he recognized Duo's handiwork and knew him well enough to know Duo wouldn't be sitting by the side of the road waving them down.
Wu Fei drove more recklessly than Heero had ever seen, gone was the careful and attentive driver who was always mindful of the speed limit and rules of the road. Wu Fei drove hard as if they were running from hell rather than to it.
Heero had his seatbelt off and the door open as Wu Fei skidded to a halt at the end of the driveway that lead into a large building. It might have appeared to be more like a warehouse if flames hadn't been jumping out of it and walls collapsing from the damage and burning. Heero led Ember and Wu Fei up the driveway at a run, weapons out and ready. But the few bodies they did see were either running from the fire or lying still on the ground.
Heero recognized a lost battle when he saw one and began dropping weapons as he ran, gaining speed on Ember and Wu Fei who were slower on the up take to ditch their extra weight. Heero went blank inside, all fear and rage gone from him, one objective left in him burned as he ran straight into a burning building, Get Duo.
Dead or alive, Heero would have his lover in his arms before this building came down around them! But all coherent thoughts were gone from him, and he searched the grounds of the broken complex with a single minded goal.
Wu Fei and Ember broke away from Heero as they followed after him, Wu Fei the most hesitant of them, though even his wavering heart beat sure at the thought of his friend still in this madness. Ember's heart ached and her rage was unmatched by her teammates. Where as Heero searched for the other half of his soul, Ember's was already gone, she had nothing left to lose. So while she did search for Duo, refusing to let Heero suffer as she would the rest of her life, she also kept an eye out for the man with the gun, the devil who'd stolen her world only because he could, she searched for Martin with equal exuberance.
Heero shoved aside a beam that had fallen but only started to burn just moments before, he found stairs; something he'd lost in the smoke but had known would be there. He raced up them, one gun still in his hand and one more still holstered in his shoulder rig. He knew nothing about Carigan, nothing about how the man thought or set up his home, but he did know something about arrogance. He'd fought against it all through the war and after it, and he was betting that Carigan had it as much as any of the men he'd killed. All these men who sought to bring their profitable war back, who saw blood shed and suffering as a type of commerce.
If Carigan were anything like those men, and he was, then Heero knew where his "office" would be, and if he knew that, he knew where his Duo was! So Heero took the stairs two at a time, mindful of how the structure was holding, testing it in the back of his mind in case he had to come back down that way.
He took a chance and called out for someone he needed to see again, not just one more time, but for the rest of his life, someone he couldn't lose.
"DUO!?" Heero broke the top of the stair and saw an open door before him. There, braced against the door frame, leaning heavily on his left leg, stood Duo. Heero could tell he was injured, was already mentally logging each one even as he ran to Duo and gathered him forcefully in his arms, and crushing them together. Heero breathed in with his face buried in Duo's neck and hair, affirming his presence, making sure he wasn't some vivid hallucination.
"Oh Gods! It is you!" Duo grasped tightly at Heero's back, bunching his shirt up into his fists as he hung on to the last solid thing in his world he'd never expected to see again. "I heard you, but I thought it was just my mind, I thought…"
"Heero stopped Duo's words by squeezing him tightly, if he didn't let them be spoken out loud then it would have never happened!
"What's wrong with your leg!?" Heero demanded as he finally pulled away, unable to ignore the ever growing heat, though the smoke was escaping somehow. Heero suspected that most of the roof was gone, but the walls were more than enough to kill anything still alive in the building if they came down.
"Roan broke it." Duo didn't stop long enough to explain very much, he was in pain again, "The drugs they gave me for it are wearing off, I can't put weight on it anymore; I barely made it to the door." Duo hated to admit to this weakness, but now that Heero was here he had to get out, had to make sure he hadn't just taken Heero down with him. So Heero had to know how bad things had gotten, because the man was just stubborn enough to insist that they both get out of here alive.
Heero nodded and brought Duo's arm up over his shoulder, taking the brunt of the weight off of it. He started for the stairs and was grateful to see nothing else had fallen on it yet, they still had a mostly clear path down, if it would hold.
Heero held his tongue as they started down, though the open wounds on Duo's face had not evaded him. He saw three perfectly even strips of skin gone from Duo's face and rage and fear began to build up in him again, his calm gone instantly when he'd seen Duo staring back at him in surprise and hope. Heero was distracted by the remains of gauze and tape on Duo's face that told the story of a dressing there, but it seemed to have gone in the explosion, along with the skin off of Duo's arms. But now, they were halfway down the stairs and having problems.
"Shit!" Duo cursed as his other leg started to give under him. "Shit, Shit, SHIT!" Duo yelled as he leaned even more on Heero who took the weight, but the worry for Duo was worse. In the end Heero ended up just taking Duo clean off the ground and getting them to the bottom of the stairs quickly.
"Damn Impressive Yuy," Duo gasped for air past his pain, his burns adding pain and making his eyes tear, "But we both know you can't manage that all the way out, not like this…" Duo had fallen to the ground when Heero had tried to put him back on his feet, testing his good leg.
Duo looked up at Heero who had stopped to kneel beside him, getting into position again to carry Duo the rest of the way, defiance written on his face in soot and blood. Duo sighed heavily and took his arm out of Heero's hold, making Heero's cobalt eyes meet his own violet ones. He tried to put love in his eyes but was pretty sure he only managed hopelessness and pleading.
"NO!" Heero shouted, instantly understanding the words that had been about to come out of Duo's mouth. "NO! Don't you Dare! Don't you DARE ask me to leave you behind, EVER!" Heero yelled at him, shaking him almost violently as he took hold of Duo's shoulders. "Don't you get it Duo, I Love You! Don't you ever ask that!" Heero brought Duo into his chest, holding him tight, as if they could just sit there forever and let the building burn down around them, as if his arms alone would protect him from the rest of the world.
"Awe, how sweet, is this what made you run Maxwell, finally find a fag stupid enough to want you despite your looks? You must be one hell of a lay for him to ignore that ugly mug of yours." Martin stood there, in a doorway that had once lead to another room, feet shoulder length apart, feet firmly planted, both arms raised and aiming down the barrel of a very big gun right at Duo's face.
Duo was about to answer, was about to tell Martin that he'd never find out, was about to do something stupid that would probably get him killed. Heero was about to push Duo down to the floor, was about to shove himself between Duo and the Gun. Martin was about to squeeze the trigger, was about to destroy the man who had ruined everything for him. But it was Ember who won the race.
"You'll Not Touch Them!!!" Ember screamed as she came round the corner behind Heero and Duo, two guns raised and already shooting, Wu Fei right behind her. Her bullets riddled Martin's body, destroying him, making human hamburger out of his back where the bullets exploded to make an exit. She screamed and stood over those she'd sworn to protect and killed the man who had killed Rivee. She kept firing till her guns just clicked empty and squeezing the trigger didn't make Martin's body dance anymore. "FUCK!" Ember screamed and her hands trembled almost uncontrollably as he reached for more bullets, as she tried to reload her gun and kill him again.
Ember saw the hands grab her own, saw someone take the gun from her and a voice somehow made it to her ears. "He'd dead Ember, let it go."
Ember nodded, balling her hands into fists in front of her, gaining control of herself again. She reigned in her anger, her bottomless anger, and hid it away. She focused her eyes long enough to go to Martin's body, take his gun and then rejoined the rescue mission still set before them.
Wu Fei had gone to Duo, had asked him a few questions about his leg and then had assessed the situation. A few quick words with Heero and they both pulled Duo's arms over their shoulders. Duo winced at the pain of their hands pinching his burned wrists, but said nothing as they stood as one and lifted him off the ground.
"Ember, can you get door?" Heero called and Ember nodded, stuffing Martin's gun down the back of her pants and holstering her own guns. She ran forwards and moved the few debris that had blocked the entrance back up after they'd first come through it.
Ember ran ahead, making sure they didn't run into any more trouble and Wu Fei and Heero carried Duo who was only trying to keep his legs from snagging on anything as they dangled almost useless beneath him.
He tried to keep his mind thinking, kept trying to remember something he might have forgotten, but the only thing that kept coming to mind was Heero. He'd come, he'd come for him when he'd been inside a burning building. Heero loved him, really and truly did. He and Wu Fei had come for him. And Ember. She'd killed Martin but now she was helping them get out. Did she know it was his fault? She had to! Yet they were all here, helping him get out of the mess he'd stuck his ass in again.
Quatre and Trowa where likely helping too, setting up things at home, ready to take over when Heero finally couldn't carry him anymore, when Wu Fei gave out and had to sleep with the rest of the mortals.
Duo looked up; saw the car ready, waiting to take him back. He'd been snatched from his path back, had been dragged back down to hell, had been kidnapped, likely forever. But he'd blown up hell and Heero had come back for him, had a car waiting to get him back on the path…but…Duo's heart stopped. He shoved his legs down into the ground and yelled at Ember.
"Ember! CAR!" He was only slightly relieved when her reaction turned out to be exactly what he had hoped it would be. She instantly drew her guns, fell to one knee and sighted down at the car. Surprisingly, Duo found himself shoved off onto Wu Fei as Heero mimicked Ember, only standing, and sighted on the shadow looming next to their car.
Duo stared back into Roan's eyes. His angry, crazed eyes. The eyes that had been elated when slicing off pieces of Duo, the eyes that now promised death, one way or another, the eyes that were tempted to run at him now, despite the guns trained on him.
"Who is he?" Heero asked quietly as Duo stared him down, Heero didn't like this staring contest, he like the man staring down his lover even less. Here was a very dangerous man, even more dangerous than them, escaping with only their lives. Here was a man who had lost something; he was crazed and desperate to lash out in anger at those who had 'hurt' him.
"Roan." Duo whispered to Heero who needed no further prompting. The moment that name had left Duo's lips the first time, liking it with the missing skin on his face Heero had logged it away with a mental command. This man was a walking target. Not a human being, just a target to be shot and killed dead.
Heero fired, Ember following suite a moment later and though they kept clear of the car and shot at the shadow of a man not seven yards away, somehow they still missed him. He was gone, faded into the darkness. But the image of him was burned into Duo's eyes.
Three for three. There were now three wounds on Roan's face that mimicked his, three newly forming scars that would match his forever. They had looked to be from a whip, though Duo shuddered when the thought passed through him, that he knew what kind of tool was used to make those matching lacerations…
Heero cursed next to him and Duo instantly reached out, grabbing hold of Heero fiercely, recognizing a tone that promised to chase after the man, hunt him down and kill him. When all Duo wanted right now was Heero's arms around him and a seat in the back of the car.
Heero looked down with anger into the hand that stopped him from going after the man who had hurt Duo, but when he saw the pleading and pain in Duo's face all his anger melted away. It pooled cool and dark in his soul, but was set aside for now. For now he would let the man go, though it burned in him to do so, it was Duo who needed his attention, his care. His love.
Heero knelt down and simply picked up Duo, cradling him against his chest and walked towards the car. Wu Fei walked quickly around to the driver's side, letting Heero take Duo from him and climbed in quickly. He started the car and hit the gas as soon as the doors closed.
Ember had climbed in on the passenger side next to Wu Fei, leaving the backseat to be taken over by Heero and Duo. Heero pulled Duo into his lap, ignoring any embarrassment Duo might have, for he had none of his own where Duo was concerned, and held Duo tight under his chin. He had no thought beyond holding Duo for the rest of his life.
Duo shoved his face into Heero's chest, ignoring the rest of the world, letting the car sooth his nerves and rock him into calm. Heero's scent surrounded him, overpowering the smoke and burning. His leg was throbbing hard with each heartbeat, and his face and arms burned in a constant sharp sting, but he couldn't bring himself to care about any of it.
He listened intently to Heero's heart beat and waited for it all to be over, for it all to fade away to blackness. Instead, he found his face wet with tears.
"Duo?" Heero asked quietly, noticing Duo's tears even when they were absent of sobs or any noise at all.
"It's my fault." Duo finally let out, saying it to Heero's chest, but still speaking loudly enough for everyone in the car to hear.
"What is, love?" Heero asked, stroking his hand along Duo's braid, the one part of him that was still intact, still whole and safe from Carigan. The rest of him was in ruins, barely held together in his arms.
"I Killed Rivee, it's my fault he's dead!" Duo moaned into Heero's body, his own finally jerking with a sob and wracked with a hard shiver that ran the length of his spine.
Heero opened his mouth to tell Duo that this just wasn't true but Ember turned in her seat to look at him and their eyes met. Heero backed off, though only verbally, he still held Duo tightly. Duo's resolve needed to come form Ember, not from him. He was just going to be there for Duo, just hold him until this all got better or they died of old age.
"What the Fuck Ever!" Ember sneered at Duo, who looked up in surprise and still managed to flinch at her harsh tone. "You didn't kill Rivee, Martin did. So I killed him. End of story." Ember stared hard into his eyes, daring him to say something.
"But…" Duo started.
"But what!?" Ember demanded, cutting him off. "Did you make him pull the trigger? Did you bribe him or order him? Did you watch quietly from somewhere safe while Rivee died?" Ember scolded, sounding like the mother she would never be now, but strong in the midst of it all. "You didn't do any of that shit, so you didn't kill him. So stop crying and love."
Duo didn't quiet understand her words, but her meaning was clear as she turned away from them and quiet fell over the car. Duo sat in Heero's lap, still holding on as if Heero were going to be snatched away from him at any moment. He looked at Heero and with their faces even, he saw worry in his lover's eyes.
"I'm sorry, I am!" Duo started again, earning a heavy sigh from Ember, but she stayed facing forward, giving them an illusion of privacy. "I killed them, I wasn't planning on…I'm a monster Heero, part of me is, will always be! I can't change that!" Duo panicked at the look Heero had given him. He didn't want Heero to leave him now, he wouldn't survive it! He loved him too much! He gasped for air, babbling on and on all those thoughts that had raced through the back of his mind while he'd killed so many. While he'd set bombs to kill more, while he'd shot Carigan point blank. While he'd just stared back at Roan while he was being skinned.
Heero silenced him with a kiss, forcing his words back down his throat. Heero kissed him till Duo stopped trying to break it and melted into his body, warm and desperate. Heero kissed him till the worry in his eyes was mostly gone and shown violet in the dark, bright and hopeful.
"Don't be sorry Duo. Part of me is a monster too. That's the part of me that's going to kill Roan and enjoy it, it's the part of me that would have killed Carigan if you hadn't. We both have parts of us that will always be that way. But I love that part of you just like a I love the rest of you, all of you!" Heero whispered against his lips, keeping them close and intimate, their eyes locked. "Just remember, so you don't doubt me again," Heero teased a little with a smile against Duo's lips, "That's the part of you that kept you alive, that's the part of you that got you back to me."
Duo swallowed hard and kissed him again, breathing him in and tasting him.
"That's going to have to wait until we're back at Quatre's and all in our own rooms." Wu Fei told them sternly from the front seat.
Duo laughed, laying his head back down against Heero's shoulder, settling in for the long journey back and listening to the low rumble of Heero's laughter as it thrummed through their bodies. He was home now. In this car, back at Quatre's, even back in his own apartment by the beach, he was home so long as Heero's arms were there to hold him.