The one (not really) and only Authors Note: \/\/007! r3vi3ws! I am so very happy. And so, here I present chapter 2! Ej0y:)
Ch2- Oh God, the Wives.
Obi Wan chose a seat next to Master Adi Gallia and motioned for Anakin to set next to him. The least he could do for tonight was make sure the Order was not disgraced with disorderly conduct. Or at least, he thought, if it is the sticky fingers of blame will not come near me.
That being said, there were still two empty seats at their table and the four soon found themselves seated with Selah and Croce, two of Ki's wives. The others were at the next table along with Master Windu and his wife, who was staring daggers at all three.
"So, you are Master Kenobi?" asked Selah, turning towards him. "Ki has told us all about you. You were sooo brave on Genosis, defeating all those droids and icky bug things."
Obi Wan looked uncomfortably in another direction and replied with "Yes, well, Anakin helped, and the other Jedi arrived in time." Master Gallia smirked at him and engaged Padme in conversation, leaving him to his own defense.
"Oh, of course Master Kenobi - may I call you Obi Wan?- but surely it would not have mattered if they had come or not if you had not been so very skilled." She batted her eyes at him and Croce snorted.
"Surely he was not all that skilled. I hear the Senator was wounded and his own apprentice lost his hand." she stated matter of factly. Selah glared at her and Obi Wan cleared his throat.
Anakin broke into the conversation then. "That was not Obi Wan's fault, Mistress Croce. Count Duku is strong with the force."
"That and my young Padawan is very rash at times." Obi Wan added. Selah giggled and Anakin frowned. Croce was staring at Anakin with a gleam in her eye.
"I will have you know, apprentice, that when you address me it will be as Lady Melara Mundi. I am not some, some tramp that can be bought in the night."
Anakin back peddled furiously while Obi Wan signaled him from across the table to shut the hell up. "I meant no disrespect Lady. I was unfamiliar with your form of address."
"The hell you were. I know your type. All you Jedi men, rushing around slicing things up, egos the size of planets-"
"That's not true," he shot back. "My ego doesn't even come into this. I simply decided on the common form of addressing-"
"Common?!"
Obi Wan broke in earnestly as Padme and Adi looked over at them in astonishment. "My Padawan offers his sincere apology, Lady Mundi. Don't you Anakin?" he said through gritted teeth.
Selah laughed a tinkling laugh that caused nearly everyone to start. "My dear Croce, leave the poor boy alone. He's certainly no match for your expertly sharpened tongue."
"It is only sharpened because of these events, my dear Selah. Just because you demean your position by shamelessly flirting with any male old enough to-"
"I am socializing." Selah liltingly shot back. "You might want to try it some time. Maybe then Ki would-"
"How dare you?!" shrieked another voice at the next table. All of them turned around and saw that it was Timov who had yelled. She was standing up, red faced and livid, and in her case it made a difference. Mace's wife was also standing up and glaring, but it took a little longer to notice for her, she was so short. Master Windu was quietly trying to get his wife to sit down, while Master Mundi was doing the same.
"My dear Timov," he said reproachingly, "sit down. There's no point making a fuss."
"You can very well say that Mister." She yelled at him. "I'll not stand for that kind of talk coming from that- , that toad!"
"Toad, am I?" Mace's wife screeched. "I'd hardly take that into consideration coming from you, you harlot!"
Mace pulled on her shirt sleeve softly. "Dear, please sit down, it's only-"
"Quiet, Mace. I will handle this." He sat back down, mumbling. Croce stood up and walked over to stand beside Timov, while Selah tucked her arm into Obi Wan's and leaned against him, apparently intending to fully enjoy the show. Obi Wan himself decided to stay well out of this, but soon found himself in the spotlight anyway.
"You stand there and call yourselves ladies, but here you are, all married to that man, and not even being faithful!" Mace's wife shouted at them, pointing towards Selah and Obi Wan. Obi wan turned beet red and tried to wrestle his arm politely from Selah's, but she locked hers even tighter.
"Oh my dear, I'm only keeping Master Obi Wan company. He seems so very alone, and my husband will surely not mind. He does have five of us." Selah called out merrily.
"And more inappropriate comments!" Mace's wife shouted back.
Another of Ki's wives meekly said "It was only a joke. I really am sorry it offended you."
"Don't you apologize, Atalaya." Said Timov imperiously. "You did nothing wrong. This hen is simply rude and narrow minded."
Another call from Selah. "Timov, I wouldn't be calling other people hens if I were you."
Ki turned sharply to her. "Selah, quit goading them on!"
"Oh shut up, Mundi. If marriages of politics aren't what you wanted you should have become a farmer." Timov said disgustedly.
Mace's wife managed to sniff disapprovingly even while outraged. "He certainly looks the part." Mace once again tried to hush her and was verbally lashed in return. By now everyone in the room was staring at them, some in shock, and some in amusement. Master Yoda was sitting at table near the head of the room, and was tapping his stick to some nonexistent music. Obi Wan was still trying to detach his arm from Selah's grip, but it seemed he would have to cut it off with his lightsaber to get away.
The argument between Ki's wives and Mace's wife was reaching a crescendo, when right in the middle of a screech on the latter party, she was cut off. Master Gallia had snuck up behind her and knocked her out with a blow to the head. There was some sporadic clapping, and them everyone went back to their meals. Master Windu whispered something to Adi, probably a thank you, and carried his wife off somewhere.
Obi Wan turned back around, but not before turning red once again when he caught a wink from Ki, who nodded in the direction of Selah. Can this night get any worse? He shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked up, only to see that Anakin and Padme had vanished.
"I swear, I take my eyes off that boy for five minutes…"
Wow, what will Obi Wan have to go through next? Where did Anakin and Padme disappear to? (Like we don't know) And when will we find out who yoda's wife is? Like that stupid author said in the summary? haha. all shall be revealed...