This is a short fanfiction based on the movie Bend It Like Beckham. I have to say from the moment I saw this movie I thought it has some of the strongest homoerotic overtones I had seen in a while. I'm still convinced Jules is gay. I don't own anything here except my imagination; I don't make money off of anything.
Good Girls Don't
Jules has a dream she's the one kissing Jess at the airport. She can't get over it really, the nights when she wakes sweaty and disheveled and it isn't really the dream that upsets her, it's the fact that she's a good girl. Under everything, despite every thing she'd like to pretend she is; the girl who started the girls football team, the girl who can go head to head with the guys, the girl who falls for the man with the Irish accent, but underneath it all she's still a good girl, her mothers girl. She still thinks that one day she'll get married and have kids and yeah she'll be a professional football player, but she's still a woman. She's got to do what women do, what good girls do. She knows good girls don't kiss other girls. She knows this, knows this can't be her life.
When she stands in the bathroom and splashes water on her face, looking at her self in the mirror, fingers gripping porcelain until they ache, she knows she's a coward. Because it's been safe. She's never really had to go against anyone, ever. Her parents have always been behind her, even with the football, she's never really had to go outside her comfort zone. It seemed so easy when it was Jess and everything seemed so clear to Jules. It always seemed to be something cute and foreign about Indians and their outdated costumes, but the English have costumes too, and now she knows why Jess hesitated all those times. Knows why she'd give up everything, even the football, even Joe, to make her parents happy. Jules is a coward, she can't even take the first steps and make her family unhappy, can't even say it out lowed to herself. That's why she answered so quickly in the car to her mother, no, no mum I'm not like that, could never be like that, and in her head a little voice screams you're a fool, you're a coward. Sometimes she hates herself, hates her parents hates Jess for making her feel this way to begin with, hates Joe for being able to have Jess the way she wants her. She knows it'll never happen, never in a million years Jess has Joe and Jules is still too scared to come out of the closet. Yet in her dreams she sees Jess's dark eyes and laughing face and draws her close and kisses her right there in the airport, in front of their parents, in front of everyone, out in the open for the whole world to see.