I bet you thought I was ignoring this story, but I kinda overlooked it. But its back and ready for everybody! Lets hope my little vacation from humor fics didn't mess up the story! Enjoy!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor do I own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.
1 anime… 2 series…
Yu-Gi-Oh… Yu-Gi-Oh! GX…
WHICH ONE IS THE SUPERIOR ANIME!
A picture of Atem and Jaden are shown, both of them facing each other…
Find out on… THE DUEL-A-LYMPICS!
Audiences nation wide had gathered in Duelist Stadium for the opening for the Duel-A-Lympics! The stands were sold out and balloons rose from the stadium. The cameras panned to the NEW commentators, who appeared on the "Kaiba Tron", the large screen monitors that were posted on all four sides of the stadium.
"Yes, hello everyone! Welcome to the Duel-A-Lympics! I am your host, representing from Team Yu-Gi-Oh!, Bakura Ryou!!"
"And here I am!! Representing Team GX, Chumley Huffington!!"
"And even though we are on different sides, we're coming together as the hosts for this gala event!"
"That's right, Bakura! They actually wanted to get the long time host of Survivor, Jeff Probst to host this event, but... well… you saw the end of that episode…"
"Let's check in on Probst and see how he's doing…"
Suddenly, the screens all turned snowy, and a new scene appeared. It was inside a laboratory, where a brain was inside a large tube, and all sorts of scientist running around. The lead scientist looked over the notes attached on his clipboard. He then shook his head as he looked at the brain, then looked at a table, which had a large sheet over it, and something that looked like a human body underneath.
"Jeff Probst… TV Reality series host… A man barely alive…" He then looked up and at all of the scientists. "Gentlemen… we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic host. Jeff Probst will be that man. Better than he was before. Better… stronger… faster…"
The screen then went snowy again, and it was back on Bakura and Chumley.
"Looks like Jeff will be making a return sometime soon. Bet Team Yu-Gi-Oh! is looking forward to that!" Chumley said.
"...Somehow I doubt that. Anyways, …wait… I just received word that the opening ceremonies is about to start! Come on! Let's get out there!" Bakura said. He suddenly began running off camera.
"Hey! Wait up! Damn… why do I always end up running?!" Chumley muttered, also running off the screen.
The center of the stadium was set up for what looked like an award ceremony. A man in a suit, which was the master of ceremonies, appeared with a microphone.
"I know what you all want!! So lets not waste any time!! Will the team captains for both sides please enter the arena!!!"
From the left and right sides, Yami and Jaden both entered, and the crowd went wild! They approached each other, staring each other down, then turned to the Master of Ceremonies.
"I'm sure you all know, your teams will be competing for prizes, and the title of superior series! Now, I'd like you to face each other, shake hands, and wish each other good luck in the games!"
Yami and Jaden faced each other once again, but didn't shake hands.
"Anal Crusader." Jaden said.
"Cum bubble." Yami replied.
"Fudge packer." Jaden responded.
"Punk bitch." Yami said.
"DON'T CALL ME A PUNK BITCH, YOU PUNK BITCH!!" Jaden shouted.
"Don't call ME a punk bitch, you punk bitch!!" Yami shouted.
It was then that Yami shoved Jaden. Jaden shoved him back, and the two began swinging at each other. Security flooded into the arena, separating the two Duelists. Jaden reached over and spit on Yami as they pulled him away. Yami quickly took off his shoe and threw it at Jaden, hitting him in the forehead. The Master of Ceremonies looked around at the chaos going on, then cleared his throat.
"… AND NOW… FOR THE GRAND OPENING OF THE DUEL-A-LYMPICS!! RELEASE THE BEES!!" The master said.
"Bees?" Bakura said, from the sky box.
"Yeah, our cheap ass producers wanted to save money and instead of getting doves, we got bees…" Chumley replied.
Suddenly, a blimp passed over the arena, and the bottom opened up. Over a thousand bees poured out from inside and stormed the arena! People ran and screamed in a panic.
"QUICKLY NOW!! RELEASE THE PESTICIDE!!" The Master of Ceremonies shouted.
4 fighter jets flew past the arena, releasing yellow like gas, dropping all of the bees.
"AND NOW… LET THE GAMES BEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN!!!!" The Master of Games announced.
The theme music to the Duel A Lympics played as the logo was shown on cameras. The Kaibatrons all once again shined on Bakura and Chumley.
Bakura cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the first event of the Duel A Lympics is about to commence!! And seeing as how it's the beginning of Summer, its only natural to start the hot summer off with a red hot event!! And because both teams have a violent streak, its only fair to make the first event…"
"… A BATTLE ROYALE!!" Bakura and Chumley said in unison.
The cameras panned on Chumley."That's right, Bakura! This will be an nine round elimination event! The winners of the fight will receive a point. The first team with the most points wins! And of course, there's the bonus! The ring will change every once in a while to test the Duelist's endurance! And also, there will be a variety of items to use as weapons!"
The cameras soon went back to Bakura. "Can we say 'Super Smash Bros. rip off?!"
"WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAA!!!!" Bakura and Chumley said in unison with wide eyes and grins!
Chumley then continued his commentary. "To decide who fights who, the contestants have been paired into their respective categories!! And they are…"
"Round One: the annoying, never-should-have-been-created-character: Rebecca Hawkins vs. Blair Flannigan!"
(A split screen of Rebecca and Blair is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Two: The Cyber Geeks – Espa Roba vs. Bastion Misawa!"
(A split screen of Espa Roba and Bastion is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Three: Dueling Dinos – Rex Raptor vs. Tyranno Hassleberry!"
(A split screen of Rex and Hassleberry is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Four: Battle of the Homos- Maximillion Pegasus vs. Dr. Velian Crowler!"
(A split screen of Pegasus and Dr. Crowler is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Five: La Femme Nikita – Mai Valentine vs. Alexis Rhodes!"
(A split screen of Mai and Alexis is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Six: (4 man elimination round) Evil Crusaders – Yami Marik & Yami Bakura vs. Sartorious & Nightshroud!"
(A four-way split screen of Dark Marik, Dark Bakura, Sartorious, and Nightshroud is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Seven: Dueling Sidekicks – Joey Wheeler vs. Chazz Princeton!"
(A split screen of Joey and Chazz is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Eight: Loner Battle – Seto Kaiba vs. Zane Truesdale!"
(A split screen of Kaiba and Zane is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
"Round Nine: Hero Duel! Yugi Muto vs. Jaden Yuki!"
(A split screen of Yami and Jaden is shown on the Kaibatron, with the word VS in the middle of them.)
(CAMERA TIME)
Yugi sat on a couch, facing the cameras. "Good… I get a chance to fuck up that little bitch Jaden! I'll teach that little fuck nugget what happens to the bitches that spit on the face of the mighty Atemu… I MEAN, Yugi, Yugi!! Just Yugi!! Fuck, I'm outta here!"
Atemu suddenly jumped up and bolted off camera. The sounds of footsteps were heard getting quieter and quieter, followed by the sound of a slamming door.
The cameras went back to Bakura and Chumley, who was now facing the large window in the skybox, overlooking the arena.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Duel A Lympics is about to start!! Please welcome… the show that debuted September 29th, 2001 in North America, give it up for… TEAM YU-GI-OH!!" Bakura shouted into the microphone.
Loud gangsta rap music began to play throughout the arena as the entire cast of Yu-Gi-Oh! entered, strutting through the arena. The crowd blew up with cheers and applauds. The Yu-Gi-Oh! Team walked to the left side of the ring.
As the music stopped, Chumley appeared on the cameras again. "Yeah, yeah, that's enough for them. And now… give it up for the show that debuted in October 10th of 2005, the show that Yu-Gi-Oh! passed the torch to… the future winners of this event… TEAM GX!!"
Loud rock music began to play as Team GX entered the arena, lead by Jaden. The crowd went crazy with cheers and applauds, but not as crazy as they did for Team Yu-Gi-Oh! suddenly, the music stopped, and was replaced by a song by Michael Bolton. The GX team looked around, confused. Team Yu-Gi-Oh! and the audience began to laugh uncontrollably.
(CAMERA TIME)
Marik Ishtar – Team Yu-Gi-Oh!
"Hahahaha! I hope those bastards love what I did to their theme music!! Hahahahahahha!!"
(END)
Jaden ran into the ring and pointed at Atemu. "YOU DID THAT, DIDN'T YOU!?"
Atemu crossed his arms and smiled. "Yes, and no. We're responsible for the change of music… but WHICH ONE OF US!?"
"I don't know… could it have been the goofy looking bastard with the gold earrings that just appeared on camera?!" Jaden said.
"If you knew, why did you ask… punk bitch." Atemu said.
"THAT'S IT, FUCK FACE!!" Jaden said. He tried to charge at Atemu, but security ran into the ring and carried him back to the corner.
"Save it for your fight!" One of the officers said.
Bakura and Chumley suddenly entered the ring. "Ok, listen up everybody. We're going to tell you the rules of this event! You lose if you get knocked out, thrown out of the ring, or plead mercy!" Bakura said.
"There's no hitting below the belt, no eye raking… you know, all that other cheap shot shit. There is no time limit, so don't worry about how much time is left in the fight." Chumley said.
"AND NOW… LET'S START THE FIRST MATCH!! WOULD REBECCA HAWKINS AND BLAIR FLANNIGAN, PLEASE ENTER THE STAGE!!" Bakura said.
Suddenly, the top of the Kaibadome opened and a KaibaCorp helicopter was seen hovering over. The bottom doors opened, and an elevator dropped down, with Kaiba standing on it, arms crossed and looking pissed as ever. As to be expected, he had Yugi in his line of sight! The crowd went nuts as Kaiba was seen touching down on the arena. He walked towards Bakura and snatched the microphone from him.
"YUUUUUUUUUGIIIIIII!!!! YOU SON OF A FUCK!!! GET YOUR BITCH ASS IN THIS RING!!! NOW!!!" He shouted.
Yami, with a huge grin on his face, walked into the ring to face Kaiba. He walked over and took Chumley's microphone, then stood five feet from Kaiba.
"Yeeeeeeeeesss?" Yami said, still grinning.
"YOU ROTTEN PIECE OF FUCK!!! DID YOU FORGE MY SIGNATURE ON THIS CONTRACT?!?!" Kabia shouted.
Yugi began to twirl his yellow bang around his finger. "Oh… I might have had SOMETHING to do with it…"
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON OFFICIAL KAIBACORP CONTRACT PAPER!?!?!?!"
"Hahahaha! Let's just say I know some people who know some people who robbed some people who slept with some people…"
"HERE!! LET ME READ THIS SHIT BACK TO YOU!!! I, SETO KAIBA, WILL PARTICIPATE IN THE DUEL-A-LYMPICS, AND IF I DON'T, I'LL FORFEIT ALL OF MY OWNERSHIP OF THE KAIBA CORPORATION, AS WELL AS MY ENTIRE FORTUNE, OVER TO THE SHROEDER CORPORTATION!!!"
Yami tried to hold back from laughing.
"YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS FUNNY?! YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF… I OUGHTA HAVE YOUR ASS ARRESTED FOR THIS SHIT!!"
"You could… but you cant. See, I only WROTE the contract. But I wasn't the one who signed it." Yami said.
"WHAT?!"
"Yep! Bet you'd like to know who it was, wouldn't you?" Yami said.
"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BEAR MOLESTER!!" Kaiba said, as he charged at Yami. Suddenly, the police came in and held Kaiba back.
"Oh yeah, one last thing I forgot to mention… I put a restraining order on your ass. You cant come within 50 feet of me, or they'll haul your ass in jail and the Shroeders still get all your shit!"
"YUGI!!! YOU GOD DAMN…"
It was then that Kaiba began to cuss up a storm as the police dragged him out of the arena.
"MAKE SURE HE'S BACK FOR HIS BIG MATCH AGAINST ZANE!!" Yami shouted. He then left the ring as the crowd was on their feet going wild with applauds.
Bakura and Chumley then took back their microphones.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like Seto Kaiba will join Team Yu-Gi-Oh! after all!" Bakura said. "And now… without further ado, will Rebecca Hawkins and Blair Flannigan please enter the ring!"
As the girls entered the ring, the crowd began to quiet down.
"This is the first match of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Battle Royale! Let's keep it dirty, and remember, trash talking is encouraged!" Chumley said.
"You ready to lose, you bookworm bitch!?" Blair shouted at Rebecca.
"WHAT!? Oh I'll snatch that wig right off your fat head and cram it down your nose!!" Rebecca shouted back.
"WIG!? OH YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, YOU TRAMP!!" Blair shot back.
"AND LET THE FIGHT BEGIN!!" Bakura shouted as he and Chumley ran out the ring.
And so, the first event of the Duel-A-Lympics is underway!! What chaos will we see when the two teams enter the ring and fight each other?! Find out next chapter! Til then, please R&R!
I know, this one was short, but the next couple of chapters will be a lil long, so be prepared! I hope to make you laugh the whole way through!