Disclaimer: "Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation?"

(An: Everyone always writes about how Mrs. Weasley would react to Ron and Hermione, but no one ever says a word about Hermione's parents… which makes sense, considering they're never even named, but oh well. Obviously, this is set after the first book ends… they must have a group picture of themselves as littlies somewhere.)

"That's a lovely picture, dear. That boy there-"

"That's Harry, Mum- Harry Potter. I told you about him in my letters, remember?"

"I think you're a bit young to be hanging out with all these boys, Hermione."

"Dad! They're just my friends!"

"And this other one…?"

"Ron, Mum, Ron."

"Oh, yes! With those adorable freckles! …You didn't talk as much about him in your notes, dear."

"…That's because I'm not entirely sure if he's my friend or if he hates me. I think he is, but I'm never sure."

"That's how boys are at that age, dear. They're too silly to know what they want."

"…But you say that about Dad now."

"Because it's still true."

"Honey-"

"Don't give me that. Just because you don't agree doesn't make it any less true."

"Mum's got a point, Dad."

"…So how do you make the pictures move like that again?"

"It's a potion, Dad. I've shown you how I make it… you're just changing the subject."

"Oh. Yes. The boys. Why are you friends with so many of them?"

"…It just sort of happened, Dad. I told you, they're the only ones who… who talk to me."

"Don't you have any girlfriends, dear?"

"Um… Lavender… and Parvati… I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"They're so silly, Dad! All they ever talk about is-"

"Is…?"

"…Well, boys. Who likes who, what boys are cute, what to wear to class… it's so stupid. Harry and Ron are idiots too- especially Ron- but at least they talk about sensible things… sometimes."

"And what do you think is sensible, dear?"

"…Homework and stuff. Spells. You-Know-Who."

"…Who is that again?"

"Never mind, Dad."

"So you never talk with- with Parvati about… boys?"

"Mum! That's silly! I'm eleven… I've got plenty of time to think about that later… when they're not such idiots."

"You've got a long wait ahead of you, dear."

"I know, Mum, I know."

"…So what are these… boys like?"

"Harry's wonderful. It's nice having someone who actually understand what I mean when I say 'telephone' or 'sprinkler', instead of looking at me like I've grown another head. And Ron…"

"Ron…?"

"Mum, please stop using Aunt Mabel's psychiatrist tricks on me. It's very annoying."

"Sorry, dear."

"Ron's fine. He's a pain- he teases me… a lot…"

"Well, then, he's not really your friend-"

"No, Dad, he can be really sweet sometimes! …Sometimes. He's an idiot most of the time… but he understands me better than Harry. And he stands up for me when other people tease me."

"…Other people tease you?"

"I've gotten used to it, Mum… Ron kind of helps, actually. It doesn't bug me as much anymore."

"That's good to know, dear."

"Look at that- they're making faces at you… and you just hit them with your book."

"Don't worry. I've never resorted to that… although I've thought about it."

O-o-O-o-O

"So who's the girl in the picture?"

"Yes, Ronniekins, who's the girl?"

"Shut up, Fred!"

"I'm George today, didn't you hear?"

"No, I'm George. He was right. And very, very red."

"Shut up, both of you!"

"Ron, dear, don't speak to your brothers like that. Who's the girl?"

"That's Hermione, Mum. The know-it-all?"

"Oh, yes, her! …I thought you said you didn't like her."

"That was before, Mum."

"Before he fell wildly, madly, passionately in- ow! That's my foot."

"I told you to shut up!"

"Fred and George, please stop antagonizing your brother. Ron, please stop making faces at them… you know, I'd know more about this girl if you wrote once in a while."

"I do write, Mum."

"Two letters aren't writing to me, dear."

"Mum, I'm busy!"

"Even though we hate to side with the prat, we have to agree with him, Mum. First year's crazy… especially if you're friends with Harry Potter."

"Don't call your brother a prat. And yes, I understand that you're busy, dear, but you could at least add a P.S. to Percy's letters."

"Perfect Percy!"

"Mum, Percy's too busy! He always ignores me."

"Then why don't you just bring your friends over to visit? Harry's always welcome-"

"Of course he is-"

"And I'm sure this Hermione girl is very nice too."

"Hermione? Come here?"

"Look at that, Fred! Ronniekins almost choked!"

"She can't! She's- she's-"

"She's what, ickle Ronniekins?"

"Too bossy, for one thing."

"She is bossy."

"And- and touchy."

"She is touchy- hates it when we tease her, doesn't she, George?"

"And… um…"

"Are those all the reasons you can think of to dislike her, Ronniekins?"

"Honestly! She gets along with Percy, for one thing!"

"Fred!"

"George, Mum, I'm George today… And this Hermione girl, she gets good marks in all her classes."

"I don't understand why that's a bad thing… why are you all staring at me like that?"

"Never mind, Mum… Ron, why are you glaring at me like that?"

"Honestly, just because we're pointing out your lady-love might have a few flaws-"

"More like a few million… strutting around Hogwarts like she owns the place-"

"She does not! She only gets good marks because she's always got her nose in a book, and because of that she helped more than anyone when we were trying to get the Stone! She's smart!"

"And pretty?"

"SHUT UP, GEORGE!"

"Then don't call me George! I'm Fred."

"He's right, dear."

"Mum, don't you have something in the oven?"

"Good save, little brother. Just wanted to avoid talking about Miss Granger anymore, eh?"

"…Why do you think I don't want to talk about Hermione?"

"Because you invariably get embarrassed or angry when you do."

"Or overly defensive, can't forget that, Fred."

"Well, yeah, she's my friend, and you guys won't stop teasing her…"

"You mean like you do?"

"I learned from the best?"

"Oh, Ron, you have no idea how much that means to us!"

"Get off me!"

"But Ronniekins, we love you!"

"Just like you love Hermione!"

"What part of friend don't you two get?"

"The part where you go all red and squeaky."

"I don't- okay, maybe I do, but you don't have to rub it in."

(I think a Lupin/Tonks is coming up- if I can make it stop being so damn serious- but the next one will probably still be R/Hr littlies. What can I say? The subject amuses me.)