Disclaimer: "What would Sirius do?" "Shag her."

(An: Okay, so this one is more serious than the other two. I tried to avoid that… but goddammit if I don't love me some Remus!angst… because, after all, there wasn't enough of it in the books (/sarcasm).

"…We're graduating this year, Sirius."

"Yes, Remus, did you just realize that?"

"Well, I knew it, but it just hit me now. We're not coming back here next year. We have to get… jobs and stuff."

"Or concentrate on kicking old Snake Eyes's butt."

"Last I checked, that doesn't pay well. What are you going to do?"

"Haven't we discussed this before?"

"Not seriously… don't look at me like that. It's a good question. Have you even thought about it?"

"Of course I have. I can't mooch off James and his parents anymore."

"So…"

"So I'm going to be an Auror… and don't look so surprised! I've got the grades!"

"Somehow. …That is the most digusting face you've ever made at me. And that's saying something."

"So then don't make fun of my grades, Master Prefect. I do almost as well as you."

"Key word: almost."

"Okay, so what are you going to do, Master Prefect?"

"…Find whatever place'll take me, I guess."

"I thought you said you wanted to work for the Ministry of Magic."

"To try and improve my- um- rights, yes, I'd love to… but you know they'll never take me. Not with my 'furry little problem'."

"Oh, but the Ministry's so understanding! I'm sure they won't reject your application just because of your evil rabbit, Remus!"

"Thank you for that bit of encouragement, Lucy, but we're attempting to have a private conversation here."

"Okay, so if you won't work for the Ministry, why don't you just marry money, then? I'm certain if you stopped giving all these girls the cold shoulder, they'd be all over you."

"…I suppose if you're attractive to them, even I would be-"

"Hey, I'm hot stuff!"

"But the point is, no one's going to want to marry me."

"But Remus-"

"Lucy!"

"Sorry."

"We've been over this, Sirius. I've got no plans for that kind of… stuff… in my future… what about you?"

"What do you mean, what about me?"

"Do you plan on getting married, or is it just going to be casual sex until you contract syphilis?"

"Very funny, Moony. I'll have you know I always-"

"Thank you, Padfoot, quite enough. Just answer the question."

"…I dunno, honestly. I guess, if I find any one girl-"

"Who can hold your attention for more than the thirty seconds it takes for you to sweet talk her out of her panties?"

"This would be much easier to answer if you didn't keep interrupting me, you know."

"Sorry, Sirius."

"You don't sound like it, but I'll let it go. This time."

"…So, any one girl…?"

"Any one girl who can… well, okay, can hold my attention for longer than it takes to get out of my pants and into hers, can make me laugh… and, of course, is as stunningly gorgeous as I am."

"Is that it?"

"It's not like I plan to fall in love anyway. Look at what it did to Prongs and Evans, for heaven's sake!"

"I don't see what's wrong with having someone you love love you back… as well as manage to make you look like less of a cocky git most of the time… We should find you a girl like that."

"Remus, you cut me straight through the heart. Where did the love go?"

"Get off me!"

"I'm just saying that all love does is tie you down- and marriage even more so. Eurgh. How're we to take on ol' Snake Eyes if we have wives?"

"We won't. You might, and James certainly will… but Peter and I… no. And don't tell him I said that."

"Why? It's not like he doesn't know it. You, though, we might have something there if you'd just stop moping all the time about your furry little problem."

"Because of my problem, I can't have a life."

"…Very interesting. Vhy don't ve start at ze beginning?"

"Your Muggle psychiatry bit isn't amusing in the least."

"It kept you from going into your 'Oh, woe is me, I've got a truly vicious furry little problem' shtick, didn't it? …And don't make that face at me, young man. When you're depressed, I can't get off."

"…And you thought I was gay."

"Okay, so if you don't like the men, what would you like in the ladies?"

"Sirius-"

"Humor me. This is a hypothetical discussion. We're pretending that we won't get our asses handed to us by Ol' Snake Eyes and that we'll both find startlingly lovely lady loves."

"And that said lady loves won't care that you're a womanizing ass and I'm… me."

"You know, Remus, you're supposed to be the kind, even-tempered member of our group. Whatever happened to that?"

"I met you."

"Again! A thrust straight through the heart!"

"And again, you drape yourself upon me."

"I figure it'll be harder for you to dodge the question if I get in your face… that was uncalled for. If you didn't wish me to sit on you, you could have just said something, not drop me on the floor."

"I did say something."

"Ah, but not the right something! You must answer my question, or once again face my ass of doom!"

"Okay, okay! I'd like a nice girl, preferably with sane parents and a nice job."

"Don't you know any other adjectives?"

"A clever girl, then. Witty."

"We should find some twins."

"Or we could drop the subject. I'm regretting bringing it up."

"Just now? Damn, I was aiming for five minutes ago."

(Shorter than usual, but this one kind of fizzled out… I hope it isn't too noticeable. The next one will be more R/HRr stuff, I just needed to get some Sirius!Remus!interaction out of my system… by the way, if you have any suggestions for conversations you'd like to see, just mention it in, say, a review.)