Charlie wished his family didn't care so much sometimes. They were always there with him, and it made him wonder what could happen to them if he was attacked when they were with him. He couldn't let them get hurt because of him. Alan had
already suffered a nasty bruise because of him. What next? Nothing worse could happen.
But Charlie couldn't get them to go away. The idea of going on a vacation seemed a joke to them, but Charlie was completely serious. Don's team could take care of Jake without Don. He knew he was being watched 24/7, but he still didn't feel safe and if he didn't feel safe, he knew his family wasn't.
He was supposed to go home in a couple hours. Alan decided not to come in until it was time to take him home, and Don would be at the house to greet him during his lunch break.
Charlie was relieved to be able to leave the hospital. Something about it bothered him. He hated the fact that he couldn't sleep in his room, though. The FBI was still investigating and the writing was still on the wall. He knew that Don and Alan would do their best to keep him from seeing it, but something drew him to it. Charlie knew he would see it some time.
About an hour before Alan was to come and pick him up, and male doctor walked it with scrubs on and a surgical mask covering his nose and mouth. The man's eyes squinted a little, hinting at a smile.
"I came to say good-bye. I hope you have fun at home."
Charlie's heart raced. It couldn't be. The FBI was protecting him. How could Jake get inside?
"Nurse! Nurse!" he screamed, searching for the call button.
Jake came closer, laughing evilly. He ran has hand down the side of Charlie's face and Charlie fought him off.
"Help!" he screamed.
"See you, Charlie."
Two FBI agents and a nurse ran into the room, and Jake disappeared. The agents searched the room, looking for something, and the nurse worked to calm his racing heart. Charlie tried to breathe normally, but the fear was shaking him.
"Charlie? Are you okay now?" the nurse asked once his heart rate went back to normal.
"Y-yes."
"Can you tell me what happened?"
Charlie thought a moment. He couldn't say that Jake was there because they would know he was lying. But he had been there. Charlie had seen him.
"It... must have been a nightmare."
The nurse smiled warmly. "It's okay. Maybe you should try to stay awake until you get home, now, okay?"
Charlie nodded in agreement and he saw one of the agents roll his eyes. He hadn't meant to annoy them, but he had felt so afraid. But he had been wide awake. It wasn't a nightmare. Was Jake really getting to him that badly?
Alan came walking in a half an hour later. He smiled happily at his son. "Ready to go home?"
"Yeah, Dad. I'm ready." Charlie had gotten dressed and was waiting for his father to come. He was ready to get out. He needed home. Maybe then he could start feeling better.
"You okay?" Alan asked, noticing a hint of fear in his son's eyes.
"I'm fine," Charlie said as he turned to look at his father, even managing to pull off a smile.
"It's going to be fine, I promise. You... you don't have to go into your room for a while. You'll sleep in Donny's room, okay?"
"I know. I'm fine, Dad. Really. Don't worry so much."
"Okay. Well, let's get you home, then. Don will be waiting."
"Good."
Charlie smiled. The idea of his brother waiting on him seemed a welcoming idea. He wanted to see his brother, though it had only been the night before. Something about his brother being with him made him feel safe. Charlie could remember worrying when he was home alone. Often his parents would leave in the morning and would promise to be back when he woke up. But he knew the moment they left and he couldn't get back to sleep. However, if he and Don were home alone, he felt fine. He always felt safe in his brother's company. Now he would have his father and his brother. He hoped that he'd be able to find that safe feeling again.
Thankfully, it wasn't long before Charlie was safely home. He was helped out of the car by his father and Don stood holding the door to the house open for him. The brothers smiled at each and Charlie felt better already. He loved his brother's smile because if his brother could genuinely smile at him, it meant something was okay in life.
"How you doing, Buddy?" Don asked as Charlie passed him by.
Charlie gave his brother a small nod as he walked past him and he surveyed the house. Everything was the same, except for his room. He felt a chill run through him just at the thought that Jake had been in his house when his father was there, too. The possible outcomes of that ran through his mind and he shivered again.
"You okay?" Don asked half-way through a shiver as he placed his hand on Charlie's shoulder. Charlie turned to face his brother and smiled.
"I'm fine." Charlie hugged his brother and Don welcomed it.
He hugged his brother back, frowning as he wondered if something was wrong. He looked over Charlie's head to their father. Alan just shrugged, not knowing what was wrong either.
Don tried to break away from the hug, but Charlie just held on tighter. He pressed his face into his brother's shoulder and then rested his cheek there. Don held on tighter, too, sensing something was amiss. Charlie finally let his brother go and smiled, as though there had been nothing different going on.
"Can I go upstairs? I'm pretty tired still."
"Sure, Buddy. I'll help you." Don gave his father a look, just to let him know that he would try to talk to Charlie for a while about the silent message given through the hug.
Charlie kept a hand on the banister to keep himself steady. He felt achey from moving so much. He wasn't used to it yet. His stomach tended to protest the extra movement, so he was especially thankful for the bed at the end of his journey upstairs. He noticed how Don tried to keep him from looking toward his room, though he had seen the door was closed. Charlie wanted to be in there, but he didn't mind coming into his brother's room.
There were times when Charlie worried about his brother a lot or would start to miss him that he would go inside Don's room and sleep in his bed, or look at his things. There was a certain feeling in his room that felt like Don and it was the only thing that Charlie had of his brother when he was away for so long. Even now he came to his brother's room when he knew there was a dangerous case going on or a dangerous situation. Somehow it made him feel better, feel close to his brother. Maybe that would help him now.
Charlie lay face down on the bed. He laid his cheek on the pillow so he could look over at his brother. Don sat on the bed with him and rubbed his brother's back gently.
"What's the matter?" Don asked softly and Charlie could swear his brother could see right through his mask. Maybe he knew he thought he saw Jake. Maybe he thought he was going crazy. Maybe Don knew everything. Somehow, Charlie wouldn't be surprised.
"Nothing, Don. I'm just tired."
"Come on, Charlie. Since when can you not talk to me? I'm your brother. I'm here for you. Tell me what's going on."
Charlie wondered why his brother felt like he had to say that so often. Sometimes it actually worked and he'd tell Don everything. Lately, however, it seemed like it was rarely working.
"I think I'm going crazy." He hadn't meant to say anything. He was going to just go on like nothing was wrong. But the words had slipped out, and it was too late now to stop them. Charlie knew his brother had heard the words. There was no way he'd miss something like that.
"Why?" Don asked as he searched his brother's eyes. It was as if he was looking for some sign that Charlie was going crazy. Charlie felt exposed when his brother looked at him like that. He wanted to be free from his brother's assessing gaze.
"I saw him today."
"Who? Jake?" Don's voice rose a little higher when he realized Jake had to be the "him" his brother was talking about.
Charlie gave a small nod, one that he didn't really want to give. He made it small, so it would seem he barely had moved his head at all. But Don knew. He always knew.
"What happened? Did he hurt you?"
Charlie shook his head, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.
"What did he do, Charlie?" Don demanded in an angry voice.
"He wasn't there!" Charlie screamed and Don backed up. What was he talking about? How could he have seen Jake without him actually being there?
"I called for a nurse, for help, and a couple agents came in with a nurse. But he vanished when they came in. He hadn't been there, Don. I imagined it."
Regardless of that fact, Charlie curled into a ball as best he could and shook. He could feel Jake's hand on his cheek and he involuntarily touched it, as if to swipe his hand away.
Don didn't know what to make of it. He couldn't imagine his brother going crazy. He knew that wasn't it. It was a nightmare, something that had happened, even if he was awake. He refused to believe that Charlie was hallucinating. It was fear. It was living in terror. He was beginning to expect something like that to actually happen. But would it? He couldn't let it.
"You're not going crazy, Charlie."
Charlie whined a little as he hid his face from view. He pressed his face into the pillow, muffling the noise, until his brother moved it away.
"Listen to me, Buddy. You are not going crazy."
Don made Charlie keep eye contact with him. He wouldn't allow him to think for a minute that he didn't believe that it was true. Maybe then Charlie would believe it, too.
Charlie could believe it, if his brother could believe it. Don knew what was right. He knew when someone was lying. He knew the truth. Didn't he? So Charlie had to be able to trust him.
Regardless of that fact, the fear had been there. The nightmare had seemed completely real to him. He had been there. He had felt Jake's presence... and it had affected him.
"Okay," Charlie whispered, to confirm to Don that he didn't think he was going crazy.
"Good." Don smiled, but before Charlie smiled back, his brother flinched. Something had happened. He had moved as though someone had actually touched him, but Don hadn't moved. Nothing had happened. So what was it?
"What did he do to you?" Don asked again.
Charlie didn't want Don to worry about that. He shouldn't have said anything to begin with. "Nothing, Don. He wasn't even there."
Charlie laid back down and closed his eyes, as though to fall asleep. After several minutes had passed without Don leaving, he opened his eyes once more.
"What?" he asked, trying to sound normal.
"What happened, Charlie?"
Charlie slowly ran his tongue over his teeth, stalling for time. He set his jaw, determined not to let the memory overwhelm him. "I... I could feel him there." He locked his gaze with his brother as he spoke, surprising himself that he was strong enough to look him in the eye. "His, his voice just tore at me. And he..."
"What, Buddy? What did he do?" Don asked after a long pause in the story.
"He touched me." Charlie shivered as he felt Jake's rough hand on his face again. "I could have sworn he was there. I knew he was. He was just... everywhere. It was so consuming. I felt trapped, cornered. I didn't think I'd get free from him, but I had to. So I called for help... and it turned out it was for nothing."
Don shook his head. "No... no, I don't believe that. It wasn't for nothing. Charlie, you were scared. That was a reason. I mean, can you imagine if you stopped and thought, 'I must be hallucinating. I'll just wait for him to go away?' What if it was really him? You did what you had to do, and it made him go away, didn't it?"
Charlie shrugged, looking down at the dark blue stripes on his comforter.
"It's okay to be scared, Buddy," Don said as he laid his hand over his brother's. "I know he wasn't really there, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be scared. It only makes sense that you'd be scared."
Charlie wouldn't look up. He didn't want Don to be right. He wasn't right. He shouldn't be afraid. He should be brave. He should know the difference between what is real and what isn't. He must be the weakest person in the world.
"Charlie? Buddy?"
Charlie managed to raise his chin and look Don in the eyes. What did he want to say?
"I'm going to take care of this. Soon you won't have to worry about being afraid anymore. It's going to be fine. I promise, and I know I've promised this a million times before. But, please, I don't want you to be scared anymore. I want you to feel safe."
"I do, Don... when you're with me. But when I'm alone, it just... it consumes me."
"I know. I know, Buddy."
Charlie moved closer to his brother and Don placed an arm around him. Don was content to stay there until his brother fell asleep. He had a feeling it would be hard for Charlie to fall asleep. Maybe it would make it easier if he was in there. He liked to think so.
Charlie closed his eyes and rested his head on Don's shoulder. He threw an arm over his brother's stomach and gave Don a small hug before settling in to sleep. He felt Don squeeze his shoulder in response and he smiled. He found it easy to sleep when he was sleeping safely beside his brother. Before he knew it, he was sound asleep.
Alan wondered what was going on upstairs, so he quietly made his way toward Don's old room. He smiled when he slowly opened up the door and saw Charlie nestled comfortably under his brother's arm. Don was sitting up on the bed, smiling down at his little brother. He turned his head when the door opened and he saw his father peaking in.
"Is he okay?" Alan whispered.
Don nodded. "I think so."
Alan smiled. "Good."
Figuring Charlie would be okay now, Don began to slide away from his brother. He was stopped when Charlie's hand latched onto a piece of his shirt and he mumbled, "Don."
Don looked at his father and shrugged. Alan chuckled softly to himself.
Don settled back in beside Charlie and kept his arm around him. "I'm still here, Buddy. I'm not going anywhere."
Late. Again. Sorry. Forgive? Thanks. Love!
Once again I am sorry that I'm late. And in case anyone was wondering, I am NOT going to have Charlie go crazy or anything in this story. He won't go to any therapist or any treatments for any mental problems. It was just a hallucination. Nothing more. Hey, and the title of this chapter actually works well with it. Cool, huh?
I wanted to get Charlie going into his room into this chapter, but I was afraid it would take too much longer to get it written, too, and I'd end up cutting it in half and have the second half in the next chapter. And, since I don't know when I'll be able to update again, I figure it'd be safer not to put it. So, you have that to look forward to! I hope you'll like it. More angst to come!
PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!