My editor buddy hasn't checked this but I'm posting it anyway. I'll repost it she finds anything wrong with it which is probably everything! I don't know why but I'm never sure about the chapters of this fan fic. Damn writing style insecurities.
Thanks for the reviews and stuff dudes. Enjoy this chapter of extreme strangeness. - It's the results of sleep deprivation and coffee. I hate coffee.
The Sadist, The Dullist and the Strangist.
There were a bunch of students looking around for their next classroom. Their timetable read "woodworks class". Woodworks class? They wondered why they needed such a class in Konoha, although they supposed it wasn't easy to just build houses amongst other stuff without having knowledge of how to conduct the materials and processes. They then saw the room number they were looking for. It was a dark red door with a black window, so you could not see through it. It didn't look very welcoming. They all hesitated for a moment… one of the students then opened the door and went inside as the rest followed.
They noticed a lot of machines in their, most of them looked abit dangerous, and there was a smell of sawdust and sand in the atmosphere, although the room itself was rather tidy.
Leaning against one of the machines, they saw a man with red hair and traditional Sand Village clothing.
"Um, Konnichiwa sensei. We're here for woodworks class…" A girl said.
His expression remained emotionless as he told his student to sit down.
"I am Gaara of the Desert; I am the woodworks sensei in this school. As you can see, there are a lot of lethal objects in this classroom…" he begun. "Which means that there are a lot of ways to… accidentally get hurt, very badly."
Some students raised their eyebrows at this, some chuckled… however, some of them had gone slightly pale.
Gaara handed out some sheets and told them to get on with it.
"Gaara-sensei, aren't you going to demonstrate to us how to do this?" a student questioned.
"You learn better if you do it yourself." Gaara said bluntly.
Although Gaara wasn't doing anything strange or, in some teacher's cases, dangerous, his constant glaring and dead facial expression unnerved the students. He was standing on the other side of the classroom from where most of the students were, which seemed to be a pretty dark area as there were shadows covering most of him.
Despite this, a while into the lesson the students began to talk and enjoyed the lesson somewhat. Eventually it began to sound more and more like a classroom which consisted of some chatter, noise of the machines, people dropping things and so on. One of the students sneezed.
"Gah! I hate sand its sooo annoying, I'm completely covered in it!"
"Don't say that! Gaara-sensei comes from the village of sand; you have a deathwish or something?" a blonde boy said, who had seemed a little worried throughout the lesson.
"Why would I have a deathwish? I just said I hate sand, and I do! And saw dust, it's so figity!"
"Maybe it's the sand that hates you." Gaara said quietly.
"But Gaara-sensei, its all over my face and hair and anyway, I'm not the only one! Why the heck did you chose this as your profession anyway? It must be so annoying." The student continued.
Gaara just looked at the student with no expression on his face.
The blonde boy looked worried.
The student continued to complain for about 7 minutes or so. Eventually the blonde boy spoke out.
"Shut up… stop complaining… Please!" He said, nudging the other student whilst looking to make sure Gaara hadn't heard.
"Be quiet, I'll complain if I want to!"
Suddenly, the student felt a presence behind him; he turned his head slightly to find that it was his sensei.
"I'll give you something to complain about…" he said as sand began to surround the boy.
"Umm… um… sensei…. The sand is moving…" he said.
"Is that a complaint I hear?" he said as the sand got closer to the boy.
"Well no but its strange… and its getting to close for comfort… and…"
The more the boy complained, the closer the sand got.
The blonde kid closed his eyes.
"I can't watch this! What my older sister said about Gaara-san classes were true…" he said to himself.
Meanwhile, in the English department;
"Okay settle down. I am Uchiha Sasuke, your English/Japanese sensei." Sasuke said as he watched his new group of students. He noticed something that didn't surprise him in the slightest… In fact it bothered him a lot; the girls all looked like they were in a state of trance.
"Before I do or say anything about the lesson, are there any questions?" He said this intentionally.
Just as he predicted, the girls raised their hands with a cheeky grin. Sasuke sighed.
"No, I don't have a girlfriend."
Some hands went down and smiles grew on the student's faces… it looked very freaky indeed.
"No, I am not married or into little girls. And no, you will never, ever have a chance with me."
Suddenly the girls looked completely disappointed, and all the hands went down but one.
Sasuke run a hand through his hair.
"No, I am not gay either."
There was a rather depressed/disappointed atmosphere in his classroom now. Sasuke smirked evilly. Just as I like it… he thought.
"Well now that we have that sorted, do you have any actual questions that have nothing to do with the subject of me?"
A student raised his hand. Sasuke pointed at him.
"Yes?"
"Um, why does Itachi-san hate you and go all crazy when we mention you?" The boy asked.
Sasuke furrowed his brows.
"Allow me to correct myself; do you have any questions that have nothing to do with the subject of me, or my brother, or anything to do with my life or any Uchiha or any sensei or other lesson for that matter."
The students looked around to see if anyone was going to raise their hand, but no one did. Then again Sasuke didn't give them much to discuss.
"Good." He said. "Now, we will start with the first thing on our syllabus; Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. I'm sure you've all heard of it; if not then consider it something new and exciting." He said in a dull monotone.
"OOO do we get to role-play, Sasuke-sama?" a girl asked.
Sasuke's eye twitched a little.
"First of all, you are not my minion so you don't need to refer to me as Sama. And yes, you will role-play; it is part of the syllabus." He said.
"OOO will Sasuke-Sama role-play with us?" The girls began to excitedly chatter amongst each other.
"Sasuke-sama will send you all to Orochimaru-Sama and Anko-sama if you don't shut up. Idiots." Sasuke said, in a monotone still. "Or, since you seem to know Itachi-sensei, I could send you to his lesson. You might just be lucky enough to catch him in his most enjoyable mood. Well, enjoyable for me when I have the happy thoughts that someone else has to endure it…"
The students then quieted down. The lesson then consisted of love struck girls constantly calling Sasuke over to "help them with their work".
"This lesson is so dull… Times like these I wish I was a girl." One of the boys said whilst yawning. His friend raised an eyebrow.
"Uhh yeah, what you said minus the wanting to be a girl part." He replied.
/---------------/
If this was a movie, you'd now be looking at extremely confused/shocked faces of high school students. Some eyes twitching maybe.
"What? What?! You guys don't like it?!" a brown haired sensei with red triangles on his cheeks said.
"I-its not that we don't like it Kiba-sensei… it's just that this is fashion class and we though it was fashion for humans..."
"Woof!" Akamaru, err, woofed.
Kiba walked up to the student, their noses almost touching and glared at him.
"And what is so special about humans that make them superior to Canines? Are you being prejudice against dogs? Because you know, we have a strong non-prejudice policy in this school and Akamaru, the assistant sensei, will not be held responsible for the psychological damage detention will give you." He said.
The students sweat dropped.
"But sensei I was just saying…"
"Woof!"
"Exactly Akamaru-sensei. We will not hear anymore of this, now Akamaru-sensei will tell you your homework and I expect it all done for Friday no excuses."
"Woof woof! Rouf woof wof. Shriek woof! Woof woof!" Akamaru said matter of factly.
The students sweat dropped again.
"Good job Akamaru! I couldn't have said it better myself!" Kiba grinned. "You all got that right?"
The students all had blank faces. They didn't want to say they didn't get it in fear of being called prejudice against dogs.
"N-no sensei I erm didn't…"
"What? Why? I got it perfectly…"
"E-erm… I was daydreaming, sorry."
"Okay don't worry about it." The students looked extremely relived.
"Akamaru-sensei will explain again!" He grinned.
The student's eyes' widened. They were all doomed so they started planning excuses for why they didn't do their homework apart from the actual fact that they hadn't the slightest idea what the homework was.
Haha, I was gonna do Sakura but I have a major obssession with Kiba at the moment. Hes so cool!! Sorry for the weird lessons, trust me we have them in the UK so its not complete crap. Oh and I did English/Japanese class because Sasuke does both, I suppose they have to learn English since I don't know much about Japanese literature. And plus Romeo and Juliete will be funny.