Super Smash Soccer!
By Hoogiman
Disclaimer: (do people even care anymore?) All characters referenced are the property of not me.
IV
(or alternatively, IIIIIIX)
Match Four
July 21, 2007-07-21
Writing Club vs Some Nerds
"These are our opponents?" said Nana, laughing, looking at a squabble of schoolage children who were slightly plump and most of whom wore glasses.
"Ness, they're your best friends!" laughed Popo.
Nana put a knife through Popo's spleen. "That's NOT funny!" she said angrily.
…
"Ness, they're your best friends!" laughed Nana.
Everyone chuckled nervously.
"Get this knife out of me!" moaned Popo, collapsing.
"Sure!" said Snake, lodging a wrench into Popo's other spleen.
"Ow!" said Popo angrily, "You're supposed to take it out!"
The match started.
Everyone on Luigi's team stared intently at the hurt Popo.
"Quick!" said a nerd, "They're distracted!"
"Use your Quidditch physics projectile powers to levitate the ball into the goal!" said another nerd, salivating.
They stood there.
"Hey, the match has started!" called Ness.
Jigglypuff ran to the stationary ball, picked it up and threw it at a nerd's face, knocking him over.
The referee blew his whistle.
Jigglypuff took off her watch.
"That too," said the referee angrily, "But you're not supposed to throw the ball at other people!"
"Oh," said Jigglypuff.
"Free kick!" said the referee.
"What do I do?" said a nerd, panicking.
"Give it-a to me," said Luigi.
The nerd kicked the ball to Luigi.
Luigi dodgily toe-poked the ball towards the goal, which went in.
Writing Club: 1 Some Nerds: 0
"Yay!" cheered everyone.
"Get these knives out of me!" screamed Popo, who somehow managed to have three more knives in his spleens.
"I love you," said Nana to the nerd who was taking the kick off.
"Really?" said the nerd hopefully.
Nana punched the nerd in the face.
The referee blew his whistle.
"I love you," said Nana to the referee.
"Really?" said the referee hopefully.
Nana was about to punch, but Snake restrained her.
Ness took the ball and weakly hit it in the direction towards the goal.
"Hooray!" said everyone.
As the ball was rolling in, Nana ran it and whacked it into the back of the goal.
Writing Club: 2 Some Nerds: 0
"Yay!" cheered everyone.
"Not Ness's goal!" said the referee.
"But…" said Ness, shocked.
Ness, determined, took the ball and whacked it towards the goal. A fine shot, it curved downwards and hit the top left part of the goal.
"Hooray! Ness scored!" cheered the team.
"How come Popo hasn't scored?" said Jigglypuff angrily.
Jigglypuff looked at Popo's stabbed body.
"Oh," said Jigglypuff.
"They have metallic bombs IN THEIR TEETH!" screamed Snake, hitting several people in the face.
They fell over.
"Those are braces," said Nana affectionately, "But it's okay, they don't have feelings!"
While everyone was struggling to stay alive, Luigi took the ball and hit it into the goal.
"Yay!" cheered everyone.
Writing Club: 3 Some Nerds: 0
"Wait… so I punched them for no reason?" cried Snake.
"It's oka-"
A nerd blew up.
"Oh," said Nana.
"Violence does solve things!" said Snake.
"Actually, that's because I planted that on his teeth and-"
"Yay! Snake saves the day!" said everyone.
"Yay!" cheered Jigglypuff.
While they were cheering, a nerd ran past them with the ball and straight towards the goal. Fortunately, due to his lack of motor functions, he tripped and hit the goal post.
A gust of wind blew the ball away from the goal.
"Yay!" cheered everyone.
The gust of wind blew the ball into the team's attacking goal.
"Yay!" cheered everyone.
Writing Club: 4 Some Nerds: 0
The referee blew his whistle for full time.
"Go wind!" cheered everyone, picking up the wind like they would pick up the winning goalscorer in those soccer/rugby/American football/futsal underdog movies and hoisted him on their heads.
…
But then suddenly a large meteor from several galaxies away shuttled down towards the earth, releasing small amounts of debris upon impact of the atmosphere. The meteor was so large the small bits of debris hit several small towns, destroying farmland and population. The meteor continued to rocket towards the earth. The navy was called to shoot the meteor down near impact, but it was too late. The gigantic meteor charged towards the earth and the pathetic gunshots did nothing but cause more damage from debris. The meteor was several kilometres away and shuttling at a fast speed. People around the world started to say their prayers, and in seconds, the meteor had hit. Everything on the earth that we had known as ours had been destroyed. Every single inhabitant was destroyed. There was no-one left.
Emptiness.
Nothing.
…
…
"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.
"No, seeing I'm dead!" said Luigi angrily.
…
…
"Do you want to do a dance now?" said Mario, wearing a pink flower suit.
"Yes!" said Luigi.
They danced a lot.
The End
A List?!
Writing Club: 1, Team Goodie-Two-Shoes: 6
Writing Club: 2 Team Koopa: 1
Writing Club: 1 Some Old English People: 1
Writing Club: 4 Some Nerds: 0
Leading Goalscorers:
Luigi: 2
Nana: 2
Snake: 1
Jigglypuff: 1 (not counting 1 own goal)
Ness: 1
The Wind: 1
Popo: 0
Epic. (or in Spanish: .cipE)