Chapter 2: Only God Knows Why

lyrics by Kid Rock

(Obviously, this won't all be a song fic...just when the lyrics seem to fit the chapter)

I've been sittin' here trying to find myself.
I get behind myself. I need to rewind myself.

Sean sat on his front porch, watching everyone walk by. For once it didn't seem to matter where they were going or what they were doing. All that mattered was that they were going somewhere and doing something.

"Shit!" he muttered as he saw Tyler jogging up. He wasn' t in the mood to talk to anyone...even his friend.

"Hey, Cameron. I thought you needed a ride after counseling."

"Fuck Jenkins. He can shove all that touchy feely shit up his ass," Sean grumbled and frowned as a petite brunette waved and giggled. His frown deepened as she flicked her curls over her shoulder and stared openly.

Tyler saw the girl and chuckled. "Damn, Man! She's hot!"

Sean's glance barely flicked over the girl's tiny little skirt that showed a peek of her butt cheeks and her barely there, breast-revealing shirt. "Why don't you go home and put some clothes on or something?" he shouted angrily at her.

Tyler's jaw dropped as the girl hurried off near tears. "What the hell was that? She was hot!"

Sean shook his head. "No…she's nothing but a Manny wanna be. I'm not into skeezy little sluts who get themselves knocked up while they're screwing another chick's old man."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Tell you what? Why don't I come back when you're not so moody?"

"Whatever," Sean muttered with a shrug.

"So…need a ride from coun-"

"Didn't you just hear me say 'Fuck' him? I'm not going back!"

"Fine…fine. Call me when you've cooled off."

Lookin' for the payback, listen for the playback.
They say that every man bleeds just like me.

Emma sat on the couch and stared blankly at the TV while she ripped up a piece of paper, balling it into tiny little pieces and flicking them at the screen.

"Are you done trashing this place?"

Emma shrugged. "Don't know yet."

"Yeah, well…you do remember we have people coming over tonight, right?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah," she sighed. "So…let me have a smoke and I'll clean this shit up."

"Sure. That's cool. So…what did Sauve have to say today?"

Emma sneered. "I hate that bitch. She's arrogant and-"

"She's just trying to help."

"No…she's trying to make me forget about what happened. Like I can snap my fingers and make it all go away. She's never had to deal with having a gun-"

"You can't keep dwelling on that, Emma!"

"You want me to forget?" Emma asked the brunette. She stood up and walked over to her, getting nose to nose with her. Their lips lightly brushed. Emma pulled back sadly. "I can't. I can't forget," she mumbled quietly. "Look. I'm going to go do something before the gang's all here."

The other girl nodded and watched her leave. She sighed and began picking up the bits of paper herself.

And I feel like number one yet I'm last in line.
I watch my youngest son and it helps to pass the time.

"Sean! Get in here!" his father called angrily from the trailer. Sean let out a harsh sigh and stood up. He walked inside, not bothering to be careful about the way he yanked the screen door opened.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"What the hell is this shit?" his dad yelled, waving a piece of paper in Sean's face. Sean frowned.

"I can't exactly read it when you're waving it like that, Dad."

"You're such a shit! You know that? An ungrateful shit!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, Emma, Emma, Emma!" his dad squealed in a high-pitched, mocking voice.

Sean's face drained of all color. "Give me that," he growled menacingly.

"Are you trying to break your mother's heart or what? Leaving this shit lying around?"

"I said to give it to me!" Sean shouted furiously.

His father began ripping up the paper and Sean snapped. He lunged at his father, shoving him to the floor as he scrambled to pick up the bits of paper. "You selfish, drunken son-of-a-bitch!" he raged.

"You think she wants a loser like you?" Sean's dad laughed as he struggled to stand. "Please! That little whore probably has her legs wrapped around any boy who'll give her a pity screw!"

Sean stared at his father for nearly a minute before clenching his fist and swinging. His knuckles connected squarely with his jaw, sending him back to the floor in a drunken heap. "Fuck you, old man! Fuck you and the whore you rode in on!" Sean hissed as he snagged the last piece of paper from the floor and stormed out.

I take too many pills. It helps to ease to pain.
I made a couple dollar bills but still I feel the same.

Tears rolled down Emma's cheeks as she pushed the boy away. "OK…now give me my stuff," she sniffled as she fixed her skirt.

"Told you that you couldn't make it without me, Babe."

"Yeah. Fine." Emma looked at the piece of cellophane in her trembling hand. "What the hell is this! That's not our deal!"

Aaron shrugged. "Babe…I've had way better…even from your uptight little ass."

"The deal was six pills!"

"Actually…blow jobs were six pills. A good old fashioned screw was ten…if it was worth it."

"And…? You only gave me four!"

"Bring better game next time, and you'll get ten," he said patting her rump.

"Go to hell, shit head!" Emma hissed.

She barely had the package in her pocket before his fist swung out and connected with her cheek, sending her to the grassy ravine floor.

"Green Peace?"

Aaron looked up quickly, and saw Jay standing there. "Get this little piece of trash out of my sight before I kill her."

Jay glared at Aaron for a moment before going over to help Emma stand. She snatched her hand away. "Get off me, Jay!" she hissed.

Jay ignored her. "I'll take you home, Emma. Aaron? You didn't give her anything, did you?"

"Nah, Man. She aint' a player in my little game no more. Remember? She's too uptight now…pretending she's a good girl."

Jay clenched his jaw. "Get in my car, Emma."

"Jay-"

"NOW!"

Emma scurried off. Jay turned back to Aaron.

Everybody knows my name. They say it way out loud.
A lot of folks fuck with me. It's hard to hang out in a crowd.

"Hey, Sean!"

Sean didn't even turn to look at whoever was calling as he strode angrily down the beach.

"Hey, Man! What's up?"

Another voice to ignore.

"Sean!"

Finally, he couldn't stand all the voices shouting out. "Shut the fuck up already!" he screamed out. He felt a deep sense of satisfaction as the beach became suddenly silent. He didn't need this. He didn't need any of it.

He walked around to the edge of the beach where there were no surfers…no swimmers…and he ripped his shoes off. He needed a swim to clear his head. He shoved the bits of paper into his discarded shoe and ripped off his shirt. He let thoughts of Emma surround him as he walked into the cool water.

He didn't feel the gooseflesh raising on his arms as the water swirled around his shoulders. He heard the gun go off and smelled the gunpowder stinging his nostrils. He felt the warm blood filling his hands. This was it. He finally realized that nothing was ever going to take that day away…

I guess that's the price you pay to be some bigshot like I am.
Outstretched hands and one-night stands, still I can't find love.

When Jay came out of the woods, Emma was sitting on the hood of his car. He glared at her for a moment.

"What'd he give you?"

"Just a black eye. No biggy. Wouldn't be the first time he used me as a punching bag."

"What the hell were you doing going back there?"

"Needed a walk. Seemed like as good a place as any," she mumbled.

He stepped closer to her. "Did you get what you came for?"

Emma shook her head. "Nope. So, you don't have to-"

"What the hell's your deal?"

Emma shrugged. "Dunno anymore," she mumbled with a chuckle. She sighed and frowned, standing up. "Wanna' frisk me for drugs? Or maybe a strip search?" she huffed angrily, unzipping the tiny, frayed denim skirt.

Before Jay could stop her, the skirt fell and she was standing in front of him in tiny black underwear. She pulled off her little gray top, revealing a black bra. She hopped up on the hood with a strange laugh and stretched her arms out. "So, frisk me, Big Guy!"

Jay sighed harshly, shaking his head and picking up her clothes. "I don't want to frisk you, Green Peace."

He stood in front of her with her clothes. "Put your shit back on."

Emma smirked and grabbed his belt, pulling him closer. She kissed him and pulled him over her, grinding her self against his groin and moaning. "Or…you could help me finish taking it off," she murmured softly.

Jay felt her fingers sneaking up his shirt. Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He groaned as his body tightened in response.

"Hmmm…I'll take that as a yes?" she chuckled.

Jay snapped back into reality and jerked away. "I don't go for Aaron's disease infested sloppy seconds," he growled, feeling guilty at the pained look in her eyes. He tossed her clothes at her. "Get dressed and get in the car."

When your walls come tumbling down
I will always rebound.

"Sean!"

The voice was really distant. He tried to sleep…tried to ignore it…until he felt the sharp sting of a hand slashing across his cheek. His eyes snapped open to the bright sun. He coughed.

"Thank God!" Tyler said with a relieved sigh. "I thought you weren't gonna' come back!"

When Sean finished vomiting the water from his lungs, he rolled back onto his back. "So?"

"So? Sean! Did you do that on purpose?"

"Leave me alone, Man."

"Are you crazy?"

Sean laughed at his friend's shock. "Gee…three months of going to the school shrink, and you hadn't figured it out yet?"

Tyler sat down hard and shook his head. "Shit, Man. You know I've gotta' turn you in, right? You'll go to one of those homes!"

Sean shrugged. "And your point is?" He sat up and looked out over the water. A laugh bubbled up in his throat, making Tyler frown. "So…you can call now. The sooner the better."

Tyler sighed and shook his head.

And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always rebound.

Jay pulled into Emma's parking lot. "Uhhh…thanks," she mumbled nervously.

He nodded. "See you in a few hours?"

Emma nodded. "Sure. I'll…I'll tell Alex-"

"How are things going with you two?"

Emma shrugged. "It's cool. We get along…which is more than I can say for me and Spike. And living with Arch sucked…and that foster home was a shit hole. I'm just glad Spike finally let me come here."

"Hey, Sprout?" he sighed angrily. "Why in the hell do you let him do that? I mean…why would you let him screw you for a few lousy pills?"

Emma grabbed the door handle. "You wouldn't get it."

Jay caught her arm. "Is it because of what we did? I mean…we messed around, but is it…Emma you're too good to hook yourself out for that shit! It almost got you killed twice in one damned day!"

"Like I said-"

"No…you keep avoiding saying it. Hell, Emma. I haven't heard one sane word from your lips since Cameron left."

Emma chuckled. "And with Cameron, so went my sanity…"

"Just…you're too good for all that. Hell, even I don't hang out with Aaron after he did that to you. You can't keep going back and letting him. Someday I won't get there in time."

Emma got out and shrugged. "Ever thought that maybe it's what I'm secretly hoping?" She slammed the door and hurried up the steps.

People don't know about the things I say or do.

This is only intended for those who find enjoyment in stealing other people's work and calling it their own on other sites. I DO keep very thorough records of when I begin a story, and when I edit or post on every single one. Plagiarism is illegal, not to mention rude and very stupid. So...please READ and ENJOY, but do NOT force me to get nasty by posting my story elsewhere. I'm VERY rude when someone's rude to me...so, please don't force me to do so. Thanks!