Chapter 4: Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

lyrics by Fallout Boy

WARNING: This chapter deals with abuse...physical and sexual. I toned down the graphic-ness (is that even a word?), but I can't promise it won't bother some people. Also deals with suicide.

Drink down that Gin and Kerosene,
And come spit on bridges with me,
Just to keep us warm.
Light a match to leave me be.
Light a match to leave me be.

Emma and Alex were lying on their backs on the floor laughing hysterically at nothing when Jay walked in. He smirked and sat between the two girls. "Been hittin' the bottle?" he asked as he picked up the bottle and took the final small swig.

Emma and Alex lifted their heads slightly to glance at each other knowingly before dropping back and laughing again. Jay frowned.

"OK, ladies…I smell it…and you'd better share!"

"Or what?" Emma asked, sitting up.

"Don't make me hang you by your ankles and shake you for the stuff!" he teased. He frowned at Alex. "You see what a bad influence you are on the kid? She's plain mean now."

Alex rolled on her side and tapped his nose with the tip of her finger. "Yup. Pretty cool, ain't it?"

Jay grabbed Alex and pulled her on top of him. They laughed and Emma watched, smiling. She rolled her eyes and stood up when Jay's lips latched onto Alex's neck.

"I've got the munchies," she mumbled. "Anybody want pizza?" she asked and hurried to the phone without waiting for an answer.

Emma was used to this. Soon, the party would be in full swing and Jay and Alex would excuse themselves and disappear into the small bedroom the girls shared.

Emma ordered the pizza and hung up, carrying a bowl of popcorn into the living room. She frowned, realizing the room was empty. She sat on the couch and nibbled at the buttery, salty kernels.

Sean's eyes slowly drifted open. He looked around the all white room, a frown crossing his face as he tried to remember what had happened. Pain shot through him as he tried to sit up.

"Wouldn't do that if I were you."

Sean moaned in pain and frowned again. "T-Tracker? What the hell are you doing here?"

Tracker shrugged. "Tyler called me earlier today and told me you'd tried to off yourself."

Sean sighed and looked to the side. "And what? You thought you could come make it all better for me?"

Tracker sighed and rolled his eyes. "I just drove all the way here, and saved your ass! I'd think you'd be a bit more grateful."

Sean sighed. "He wouldn't have killed me. He-"

"Oh, no? Then explain the bullet hole in the wall at home sweet home!"

"What?"

I keep my jealousy close,
'Cause it's all mine.
And if you say this makes you happy,
Then I'm not the only one lying.

Emma froze when the music stopped. Her heart thumped in her chest, and her cheeks burned furiously as the sounds of panting and moaning carried through the thin door of the bedroom. Soon, the bed was thumping against the wall, and the springs creaked.

She swallowed hard and stood up quickly to put a new CD in before people started arriving. "Damn!" she muttered as the bowl of popcorn toppled to the floor. She dropped to her knees to pick the food up and gasped at the memory.

"You like that, don't you, Whore?"

Emma stood up quickly. Fuck the popcorn. The speed of the thumping on the wall increased and Emma hurried to the CD player, tears burning in her eyes.

Alex cried out and Emma's hands shot to her ears. She yelped in surprise at the sound of Jay grunting loudly and Alex crying out again.

The room suddenly went quiet and Alex hurried out, a huge tee shirt covering her nude body. "Emma?" she knelt next to the blonde who was huddled in the corner shivering.

Sean stared at the ceiling, his mind trying to process what Tracker was telling him. "Is…is mom OK?"

Tracker nodded and cleared his throat. "A few bumps and bruises, but she'll be OK."

Sean nodded and shifted, gasping painfully at the burning sensation in his side. "So much for the 'one big happy family' crap, huh?"

Tracker sighed. "Little Bro…our family's never been happy. I know it sucks, but that's just the way it is."

"Yeah," Sean mumbled with a harsh chuckle. "No wonder I'm so screwed up."

The older Cameron shrugged. "Can't blame you. Look. Mom's coming to stay with me for a bit. I think you should too."

Sean nodded. "Yeah. After…after finals."

Tracker nodded. "But stay the hell away from the old man. He's gonna' be fired up for quite a while."

"I'll find somewhere to stay…a shelter or something."

"Tyler offered to let you stay with him after you get out of here."

"I…my legs…they went numb…"

Tracker nodded. "Yeah. Uhhh…nerve damage. It should be OK in a few days. The swelling was already going down as of a few hours ago."

"Oh," Sean mumbled. He didn't know whether to be more upset…or if he should be relieved.

"I'll go get some of your stuff and move it to Bishop's tonight. Dad's in a cell for the night, so…" Tracker studied his brother. "Want me to give Nelson a call…or maybe that Ellie chick?"

Sean shook his head. "Nope. No sense bugging them…since I haven't talked to either of them since I left."

"What about that Jay guy?"

Sean shook his head.

Keep quiet,
Nothing comes as easy as you.
Can I lay in your bed all day?
I'll be your best kept secret
And your biggest mistake.
The hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.

Alex hugged Emma tightly, rocking her and talking softly. Jay, now clad in unbuttoned jeans, stood above them frowning. "What the hell?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. Something happened to her before she moved in. She won't talk about it."

Jay's jaw clenched and unclenched. "My guess is that it all goes back to Aaron." He punched the wall and started walking out the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To have a little 'chat' with Aaron!"

"No!" Emma wailed. "Just…no. Don't. I'm…I'm OK."

Jay frowned. "Sprout…he…what the hell did he do?"

Emma shook her head. "Nothing…nothing I didn't…didn't deserve. Just…let it go."

Jay sighed and sat next to Emma, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. "You don't deserve this, Emma! No one does."

Sean sighed and clenched his jaw as his mother limped into the room. He wanted to feel sorry for her, but…"How are you feeling?"

"I'm…sorry," she mumbled weakly. "I should have-"

"What? Protected me?" Sean sighed. "You tried."

"No…I should have…made him leave years ago. I should have made you number one."

Sean's lip trembled. "Little too late for that now…you know…since you just stood by and watched Daddy Dearest go Jackie Chan on me over and over ever since the shooting."

Mrs. Cameron nodded. "I know. I…I do love you, Sean."

Sean nodded. "You…yeah. I know. Maybe…maybe someday I can say it back, but right now? Right now I'm too fucked up to mean it."

So wear me like a locket around your throat.
I'll weigh you down.
I'll watch you choke.
You look so good in blue.
You look so good in blue.

Emma stood in front of the bathroom sink and sighed. She hadn't cried…couldn't seem to cry anymore. Not since…

"Hold her legs…"

Every bit of her body burned. Her skin was slicked with sweat and she felt sick. She kept glaring at herself. She hated who she was…who she'd become. There was a light tap on the door.

"You OK in there?" Alex asked, concern lacing her voice.

"Yeah. Fine. I'll be right out."

"We can cancel the party if you're not up to it," Jay called through the door.

"Emma Nelson? Not up for a party? You must be joking!" Emma called back, trying to tease.

Emma sighed and looked around on the floor. She finally found her skirt and picked it up. Her hands shook as she pulled the small wrapper from the pocket. She stared miserably at the pills inside, trying to shove back the memory of what she'd been wearing that day…the black jeans she now had on…and a blue sweater, which was no more.

Emma fell to her knees in front of the toilet and threw up. She was sweating, but she felt cold all over. She was trembling from the inside out. When it was over, she stood and filled a cup with water, staring hard at the pills, willing them to go away as she brushed her teeth.

Sean stared out the window as Tracker sat and talked to him.

"Have you been talking to the counselor?"

"Yeah…just saw him today."

Sean didn't see Tracker nod because his head was still turned. "Oh, yeah. Bishop said you bailed early."

Sean sighed harshly and turned to Tracker. "You want to be my brother…fine. You want to be my babysitter? Eat shit."

"You need to get off it, Dude. This little asshole attitude isn't fooling me. I raised you, remember?"

Sean nodded. "How could I forget? I wasn't in a mind altering drunk like our folks were…remember?"

Tracker sighed. "Dude…I can't leave you with Tyler if you're being like this."

"Yeah, well you aint' gonna' drop everything just to move back to this shit hole town, so…I guess you'll just have to deal…and so will he."

"That's it! You're coming to Alberta-"

"You're not my dad! In case you've forgotten, my dad's a drunk who tried to kill me!"

"Sean…"

Keep quiet,
Nothing comes as easy as you.
Can I lay in your bed all day?
You look so good in blue.
You look so good in blue.

Emma took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom, shoving the packet in her pocket. 'Just in case,' she told herself.

"Feeling better?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. Puking helped."

Alex frowned. "That's not funny, Emma."

Emma shrugged and walked away. "It wasn't a joke."

Before Alex could respond, the doorbell rang. Jay opened it and several people spilled in.

Emma flashed a smile. "Time to party!" she yelled and grabbed a guy she knew as Teddy (one of the Montreal Crew) and dragging him to the dance floor.

"You think she's OK?" Jay asked, walking up to Alex.

Alex rolled her eyes. "The only thing that might make her OK is if Cameron walked through that door right this moment and whisked her away."

Jay frowned. "Like that'll ever happened. He pussed out."

Alex shrugged. "Can you blame him? Hell…look at her. Look what he had to look forward to."

They watched as Emma draped herself around Teddy.

"Can anyone get me my jeans?" Sean asked.

Tracker, who was the only one in the room, sighed. "You're not getting out of bed."

Sean shook his head. "Wasn't planning on it. Just need my jeans…and some tape."

Tracker was so confused by the statement that he found Sean's pants. "I'll go ask for some tape," he muttered.

"I need clear!" Sean shouted to Tracker's back.

When Tracker brought the tape in, he watched as Sean painstakingly taped the letter back together. Sean finally finished, the effort taking everything out of him, and he fell asleep with the letter to Emma lying on his chest.

Tracker watched him for a while before lifting the paper up and reading it. He sighed and folded it up.

So wear me like a locket around your throat.
I'll weigh you down.
I'll watch you choke.
You look so good in blue.
You look so good in blue.

Emma and Teddy were lying on the bed. The room was dark. His hands were pulling roughly at her zipper, and suddenly the room was too small.

"Wait! Uhhh…slow down…"

His mouth was suddenly on hers again, effectively cutting off her words. The room shrank even more and she shoved at him. "Stop!" she gasped.

He muttered something angrily and Emma suddenly saw stars as his fist connected with the same spot that Aaron had bruised earlier that day. She screamed out, but everything was quickly going black. She felt herself being tossed around roughly as her jeans were separated from her thin legs. "P-Please no!" she whispered as she felt a familiar pain. She cried out, but her voice was distant, even to her own ears as she blacked out.

When Emma came to, she was nude but blessedly alone…covered in bruises and bite marks. Every inch of her body hurt. She let out a sob and picked up her jeans. She knew what had happened…and what she would be going through…she took the packet from her jeans and ripped it open, dumping all four pills in her mouth. She lay back down, curled into the fetal position and sobbed in anguish. There would be no letter this time…nothing…

Sean jerked awake with a shout.

"You OK, Man?"

Sean looked around to see Tracker and Tyler sitting beside his bed. "Emma?" he murmured.

Tracker sighed. "No, Sean. You're…in Wasaga."

Sean continued to tremble. "I…she…I had a dream."

Tyler sighed. "Another nightmare?"

Sean nodded and lay back down. "Yeah…just another nightmare. She's…she's OK. She's tough. I'm just putting my crap on her, I guess." He closed his eyes, but couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.