Chapter 5: I'm Supposed To Die Tonight

Jay and Alex were dancing when Alex noticed Teddy sitting on the couch holding a can of beer against his lips as if he were trying to ease the swelling. Alex frowned and studied him for a moment. Teddy's green eyes snapped up, looking into hers, and he nodded and stood up, turning to some people huddled in the corner. Alex felt a tingle of apprehension running down her spine. She frowned and tried to scan the room full of drunken partiers.

"Jay? When's…when did you see Cause Girl last?"

Jay frowned, deep in thought. "I don't know…an hour or two maybe…" He looked around, his frown deepening as the apprehension began to spread through him. "Teddy's over there…want me to ask him?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah. I'll ask around."

Jay approached Teddy. "Hey, T-Man. Seen-" His words dropped dead when Teddy jumped nervously, pulling the can away to reveal a perfect split in his upper lip.

"Jay! What's up?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah…Emma. Seen Emma?"

"Green Peace?" He shrugged. "Nah…aint' seen her since she got pissed and bit me."

"Why'd she bite you?"

"We were all hot and heavy on the dance floor…you know…she was ridin' my stick like she wanted it. We got in the bedroom and next thing I know, she's flippin' out and tellin' me to stop. She bit me and I left the little dick tease right there on the bed."

Jay nodded, not sure what to think. Why was Teddy being so detailed? Shouldn't he just say she acted into it, and that then she bit him? Something wasn't right. He turned to look for Alex, but Teddy caught his arm again.

"Oh, wait! I totally forgot. I saw her heading out the door about twenty minutes ago. Something about an ice run or something. She had some guy with her."

Jay felt a sense of relief, though something still nagged at the back of his mind. "Oh. That makes sense. OK." He stalked off in search of Alex.

Sean slept fitfully most of the night. Once more, he awoke, screaming Emma's name in fear.

Tracker shot out of the chair. "Sean! Hey, Man. You OK?"

Sean shook his head, tremors coursing through him as sweat poured down his face. "I feel sick," he whispered right before a retching sound escaped his throat.

"You gonna' puke?"

Sean didn't answer…couldn't answer…as the sound erupted from deep inside again.

"Sean!"

"Help me!" Sean whispered in pain and fear. "I think I'm dying!"

"OK, Man. It's OK. I'm going to get-"

Sean began convulsing. The sound came again and Tracker grabbed at the bedpan, but it was too late. Sean began vomiting violently, crying out for Emma between retches.

"Shit!" Tracker gasped as he ran to the door. "I need a doctor in here!" he shouted in anguish. "Somebody help!"

Jay and Alex met up again. "Any luck?" Alex asked, still staring suspiciously at Teddy, who was purposely avoiding eye contact with her by keeping his back turned.

Jay nodded, but then frowned. "Teddy says they were making out and she flipped, so he left. He said she went out for ice or something about twenty minutes ago." He shrugged. "He said she had some guy with her. Maybe she met up with something better?" he asked, though he didn't like the idea of that either.

Alex shook her head. "Bullshit."

Jay shrugged. "Maybe she's hiding in the bathroom. She seems to do that a lot now."

Alex thought about the scars on Emma's arms and alarm bells pealed in her head. "Jay…I'm gonna' keep looking. Can you check the bathroom?"

Jay nodded and strode down the hall. Alex asked two more girls.

The second girl…a brunette Alex only knew as 'L.G.' or aka 'Lyle's Girl', nodded. "She went in there a while ago. With some guy…should know his name, but I can't think of it right now. Oh, hell!" she giggled drunkenly.

"I don't care about the dude's name!" Alex shouted angrily. "Are they still in there?"

L.G. shook her head with a frown. "Now that you mention it…he's over there…" she said, pointing directly at Teddy. "Must've got lucky…came out with his fly down and grinnin' like a pig in shit."

"So…Emma-"

L.G. shrugged. "Never saw her come out." She smirked. "Musta' been a hell of a screw for her to fall asleep so soundly," she muttered, chuckling at her own joke.

Alex turned and walked over to the bedroom door, tapping lightly. She opened the door and tried to peer into the darkness. "Green Peace?" she muttered softly, so as not to startle her. "Emma?" she called out quietly.

Tracker paced nervously in the hallway outside of Sean's room. Another nurse…the fourth in ten minutes…approached with an understanding smile.

"Sir…they're doing everything they can. Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the waiting room?"

Tracker spun angrily on his booted heel. The woman cringed and took at step back at the fury burning in his eyes. "Is that your brother laying in there?" he asked, pointing at Sean's room door.

She shook her head. "No, but-"

"Then you have no idea where I'd be more comfortable! So get the fuck out of my face and keep all your busybody friends away from me too!"

The nurse scurried off just as Sean's mother was being wheeled up. Tracker saw her and sighed harshly. He didn't need this right now!

"I heard that something's wrong with Sean. Is he OK?"

"How the hell should I know?" Tracker erupted, flinging his hands in the air in frustration. "If I knew that then I wouldn't be out here!"

His mother sighed. "Track, Baby-"

"Don't! Just…right now I can't deal with your pity party crap. Why the hell do you care now…after all this time? Huh?"

"I've always worried!"

"No! No, you didn't! A worried parent would have kicked her sorry ass husband out of the house years ago! A worried parent wouldn't have let her kid sit in his shitty diapers for hours and hours until his older brother got home from school to change him…bathe him…feed him! No…you were too busy drinking it up with your husband."

"Tracker! I'm sick! You know that! Alcoholism-"

"Is a disease…I get it. But you could have tried harder. You could have put us first. But you didn't. You chose him…and the booze. We weren't even third on your list…were we?" Tracker asked, a hint of knowing in his eyes.

Mrs. Cameron's head snapped back as if she'd been slapped. The color drained from her face, and then the red crept slowly up her neck, trailing over her ears, and finally settling on her cheeks. Unspilled tears showed in her eyes. Shame was written all over her face. "You knew…about…about…"

"Your lovers? Oh, yeah. Just…thank God I got Sean out of that hell hole before he found out."

"You don't understand!"

"What's to understand? You paid off yours and dad's ever increasing bar tab by laying on your back and spreading your legs for every patron in the place!"

"Tracker…we were broke! Raising kids is expensive!"

Tracker snorted. "Yeah…like you would know that! Gee…what? They pay you in food stamps and welfare checks? And what'd you spend that on? Oh, yeah! Booze!"

"I…I think I should go."

"Yeah. You really should…because I was Sean's parent. You were just one of the drunks we lived with."

Alex walked deeper into the room. She frowned at Emma's figure lying on the bed. She chuckled a bit. She couldn't possibly be so worn out from being with Teddy that she'd fallen asleep naked! Alex rolled her eyes. "Wakey-wakey," she murmured softly as she flipped on the bedside lamp.

It took a full minute for the scene to begin to make sense to Alex. She frowned at Emma, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully on the bed, curled tightly into herself. There was a small piece of thin clear plastic on the floor. Her hand hung over the edge. Alex walked around to look at Emma's face…tried to shake her again. Her frown deepened. Had her black eye gotten larger? Was that even possible?

Alex tried to remember whether any of the hundreds of bruises handed out to her mother, compliments of her many boyfriends, had actually grown in size in a matter of hours. She couldn't remember, but didn't think so.

Something caught Alex's eyes, and they swept quickly over her body. "Shit!" she muttered to herself as horror began to fill her. Bite marks…more bruises…and Emma's lips and fingernails had taken on a sickly grayish color.

"Jay!" Alex shrieked in terror. "Jay!" she shouted again, running from the room.

Tracker stared at the floor as he paced. Nausea overtook him. He blamed it on the smell of the hospital…told himself it was the patterns of the off white tiles beneath his feet. But he knew, deep down, he was scared. For the first time since he'd heard about Sean wrestling Rick for that gun, Tracker was contemplating the idea of life without Sean.

Memories of Sean's childhood flashed through Tracker's mind, and it was all he could do not to break down into monstrous, earth shattering wails of anguish.

"Hey, Tracker! I got an A on my paper today!"

"Good job, Buddy!"

Sean had been eight-years-old (third grade), and had written an English paper on 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation". Tracker had been in barely twelve, just starting his seventh grade year. He'd been the one to smile and ruffle the little boy's hair. He'd been the one to display Sean's paper on the refrigerator. He'd been the one to take Sean out for a celebratory dinner of pizza and ice cream. Tracker had been the one who had put that paper, along with so many other childhood treasures, into a special keepsake box, which Tracker himself still had.

"Hey! You'll never guess what happened at school today."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Remember that Emma girl? She started her period, and-"

"Dude…way more information-"

"Just shut up and listen. Anyway…JT and Toby were making fun of her about having on huge gym shorts, and she told everybody, right there, in this 'so what' attitude that she'd started. It was wild!"

"Sean…you need to get out more."

Tracker chuckled sadly. He'd never admitted it, but he'd kind of admired her for that…even though he hadn't had any dealing with her other than the argument on Parents' Day. She wasn't ashamed of things she couldn't stop.

Sometimes Tracker missed that girl! She'd been the first person to get any kind of good reaction and grades and behavior out of Sean since he'd come to live with Tracker after leaving Wasaga.

"Hey, Track! I've got a date tonight!"

"Oh, yeah? Who's the lucky chick?"

"Her name's Emma…and she's NOT a chick."

"Emma? Why does that name…oh, no!"

"Yep! The girl who told you off."

"Please tell me it was a dare…or a bet…"

"Cut it out! She's nice! And smart…and…and…"

"Oooohhh, Seany's in love!"

"Oh, shut up!"

Wasn't it the dad's place to tease his son about his first date?

"Jay! Something's wrong!"

Jay shoved his way through the crowd to get to Alex. She was shaking. "What? What is it?"

Tears spilled down her cheeks. Her face was pale, and her eyes looked like giant saucers. Her throat was working, but no sound came from her lips. Jay grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look in his eyes as he gave her a small shake. "Alex! What is it?"

"I think she's dead!"

Jay rushed past her and into the room. He hurried over and checked her pulse. "She's still alive," he said. "What the hell happened?"

"I think…I think she took some…Oxy-"

"Dammit! She told me she never-"

"I think she said she had four pills…and now they're gone."

"Why the hell didn't you-"

"She said she was going to give them away! She promised!"

"Get everyone out of here now!" he shouted, covering Emma's naked body as people began milling around the open door. "Get out!" he shouted at them. "Get the fuck out of here!"

Jay gently lifted Emma in his arms and carried her into the bathroom as Alex stopped the music and threw everyone out. When they were gone, she rushed into the bathroom to find Jay lowering her into the tub. He turned on the cold water. After a moment, Emma began flailing and shrieking.

He saw the marks. "What the hell?"

Alex ignored him and climbed into the tub, turning Emma on her side and holding her while she threw up.

Tracker's mind was still flooded with memories when the doctor finally came to talk to him.

"Is he…is he OK?"

The doctor sighed and nodded. "I think so. He's…he's stabilized. I gave him something to help him sleep."

Tracker sighed in relief. All the tension drained from his body and he sagged down the wall in a heap. His forehead dropped to his knees as the doctor knelt down to talk to him.

"You say he had a nightmare before this happened?" Tracker could only nod in response. "Well…I'm not sure what that means, but I'd like to keep him a few extra days…to run some tests."

"You think his dreams might have caused this?"

The doctor shrugged. "It could just be his body's way of letting go of something that's been weighing heavily on his mind."

Tracker nodded. "He's been…stressed…sucky home life, and he's been really worried about a friend."

"That could be it. But…just to be on the safe side…I'd like to move him upstairs…"

"To the psych ward?" The doctor nodded again. "For how long?"

"At least a week."

Tracker sighed and nodded. "Whatever you think is best. But, Doc? Think you can tell him? He'll kill me."

The doctor chuckled and nodded. Tracker sighed again and stood up. "Can I see him now?" The doctor nodded again. "Thanks."

He went into Sean's room and removed the letter he'd read from Sean to Emma from his pocket. He stared at it guiltily for a moment before making a decision. He sighed and folded it back up and slid it back into his pocket as he watched Sean, caught up in a drug-induced sleep. Tracker wondered how long it had been since Sean had actually slept without nightmares.