Chapter 9: Runaway Train

The rest of Emma and Jay's shift went smoothly, and Emma sighed in relief, rolling her shoulders tiredly as she clocked out. Jay rubbed her shoulders, murmuring, "Tired, Kiddo?"

Emma yawned and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Mmmm-hmmm…" she murmured quietly.

Jay chuckled and teasingly shoved her. "Being a big meany will do that to you."

Emma smirked. "Hey! She had it coming!"

Jay nodded. "And your style was so…so…"

"Eloquent? Perfect? Well thought out?"

He rolled his eyes. "Try vindictive and rude…very Jay and Alex-like."

Emma beamed. "I learned from the best!"

Jay shoved her playfully. "Go call Lexi and see if she needs a ride. I've got to talk to Mark."

Emma nodded, relieved that Jay had given her an out from talking to Mark. He worked with Emma and Jay, and Jay got along with him, but Emma never trusted him. He'd once bought a package of nickel bracelets and had secretly draped them in various spots on all Emma's tables. She'd tried to ignore it until he'd grabbed her and dragged her into the stockroom and tied one to her wrist. He'd only been trying to scare her…or maybe he'd found it amusing…but all he'd gotten for his trouble was a stiff knee to the groin. Emma had never told anyone…not even Jay.

She felt bad that Jay was giving up his old friends one by one, and so she'd stayed quiet and now went out of her way to avoid him.

She hurried towards the door, but not before she'd heard Mark call out with a snorting laugh, "Collected any bracelets lately? Or how about some new diseases?"

"Back off her, Man!" Jay growled. Emma dropped her head and hurried out the door.

An orderly finally returned to the waiting room. "Mr. Cameron? Think you can find your own way back to your room?" he asked as he began leading Charlie from the room. "Come on, Whoopy. Bed time."

Sean sighed and followed. "Shanna…is she…"

The orderly shrugged. "She's downstairs. They've got her stabilized, but I don't know anything else."

Sean nodded, feeling slightly relieved, but mostly feeling guilty. "Did she…you know…leave a note or anything?"

The orderly shook his head. "Not that I know of."

"Oh. Well…good night." Sean turned into his room and walked over to Shanna's side. He sat down on her bed, guilt washing through him. What the hell had happened? How could he have been so rude to her?

He frowned when he saw a piece of pink paper jutting out from the corner of her mattress. How hadn't they found it when they were changing the sheets? He pulled it out and slowly opened the paper. His heart sunk as he read the words.

'Don't worry about me. There's a special place in hell for people just like me.

Don't cry, don't try…don't worry about a goodbye.

I'm nothing…no one. Nothing but a lost soul on the run.'

Sean crumbled up the paper, not even bothering to finish reading it. He threw it angrily against the wall and dropped down on her pillow. Why hadn't she told him the truth? Why was she lying to him? Would he ever get the chance to tell her that he knew the truth, and that he still felt the same about her? He wasn't sure if he loved her, but he knew that it was the closest thing to love he'd ever feel for anyone other than Emma.

Emma hung up after talking to Alex. She flipped Jay's phone closed and tossed it on the seat, leaning against the hood of the car as she lit a cigarette and watched Jay and Mark through the window.

"You never really told me if Hogart's your new man…nice hair by the way. Sort of sexy. Even if it is on you."

Emma froze as her head turned slowly. She dropped her cigarette nervously. "A-Aaron…I-I don't want any trouble."

Aaron laughed harshly. "Oh, yeah?" he asked as he picked up her cigarette, took a hit, and held it out to Emma who just stared at it. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Relax. You just saw me pick it up…afraid I laced it?"

She shook her head and slowly reached out and snatched it quickly away. "Wh-What do you want, Aaron?"

He shrugged and leaned against the car next to Emma. She cringed away, making him laugh. "Relax. We're cool."

"Oh, yeah? So…uhhh…this has nothing to do with your little buddy Teddy, right?" She finally began to feel something other than fear and snorted, shaking her head as she stood up. "You guys are all so damned predictable!"

Aaron caught her wrist. "Emma. Wait."

"Let me go," she hissed, trying to call on the old Emma…the Emma who took no shit from anyone. She snatched her arm away. "I don't run with you anymore. I'm not your bitch anymore, so keep your filthy hands off of me!"

Aaron frowned at her for a moment, and then laughed, shaking his head. "I might have been a shitty boyfriend, but I never…I know you're not lying. That's all I'm trying to say."

Emma stared at him in confusion. "You…you believe me?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What's the catch?"

Aaron shook his head with another laugh. "Damn, girl! Did I make you that untrusting?" He nodded and sighed. "Yeah. Guess I probably did. Look. You wouldn't lie about that, right?" She nodded and he nodded back. "See…I know you never really liked it…cried every damned time…but you never called it rape. So…why would Teddy make it rape unless he did rape you?"

Emma nodded, staring at the ground. "Yeah."

"Anyway…I just wanted to let you know…" he sighed again. "I believe you, but you should keep out of the ravine. Cause there's a lot of people who don't believe you, and they're planning something big." He shrugged. "Jay can protect you from me cause I got respect for him. And I'd do my damndest to keep your pretty little ass pretty…just in case you realize where the fun in life is…but there's like ten or fifteen of them gunning for you. So, just watch your ass."

Jay looked up and frowned at the scene outside. He pushed past Mark. Aaron saw him coming and lightly touched Emma's shoulder, kissed her cheek, and whispered, "Next time find the guy you don't cry with cause you're not shit like the rest of us." He hurried off into the darkness, leaving Emma gaping.

Jay rushed up to Emma, gently taking her shoulder and looking after Aaron. "Are you OK? Did he threaten you or-"

Emma chuckled and laid her head on Jay's chest. "I'm OK, Jay. Really. He…" she looked in the direction Aaron had gone in awe. "He said he believed me."

Jay snorted. "Yeah. I'm sure he does!" he muttered sarcastically.

She shook her head. "No. I mean…yeah. It's Aaron, and…well…" she shook her head again, trying to figure it all out. "He said the same thing you did. That I shouldn't go to the ravine. He even told me that ten or fifteen people were after me."

Jay frowned. "Why would he tell you that?"

Emma shrugged and stubbed out her cigarette. "I don't know. We should go though. Lex needs a ride home."

Jay nodded and unlocked Emma's door then hurried around to his own side.

Sean awoke late in the night to the sound of Nurse Batey growling, "What do you think you're doing here, Mr. Cameron?"

Sean looked up, trying to focus on the woman's face as he frowned in confusion. "What?"

"I asked what you were doing in Miss Tifton's bed."

Sean frowned again, sitting up as he ran a sleepy hand through his hair. "I'm not…not sure…" he murmured as he looked around. "Wh-Where's Shanny?" he asked, beginning to panic as his confused mind wouldn't let him grasp what had happened earlier that evening. "Where'd she go?"

Ms. Batey sighed and rolled her eyes, trying to show a bit of compassion. "Do you remember anything that happened tonight? Can you think of anything that might have made her-"

"She tried to kill herself!" he gasped as the memory of holding her while she threw up filled his mind.

Ms. Batey rolled her eyes with a sigh. "I'll take that as a no."

"Is she…did she…"

Ms. Batey sighed again and touched his shoulder. "She'll be fine. But…Mr. Cameron? I'm worried about you. Has Shanna…are you and Shanna…"

Sean frowned and rolled his eyes. "Why can't a guy and girl be friends without that?" he asked in irritation. He rubbed the back of his neck. "We just…we get each other. We're both stuck in a shitty place and we want out. So…we sit around and bitch about it. Is that so wrong?"

Ms. Batey frowned. "I don't know what Shanna's been telling you…but I've been trying to get her out of here for three years, and-"

"Three years?" Sean asked with a frown. "I thought…she told me she'd only been here about a year and a half."

Ms. Batey shook her head. "Three years…and I don't know why. She's not…" she sighed. "She's like you. Something happened to her a long time ago. She refuses to let it go. She wants to hide out in here and pretend that she's mentally unstable." She rolled her eyes. "This happens every few months…just to keep her file growing. Hopefully tonight will be her wake up call. If you hadn't been here, she wouldn't have been able to call us in the state she was in. She pushed it too hard and too far this time."

Sean sighed and crawled back into his bed. "Tell Shanna…if you see her…tell her I miss her? Tell her that I want my roommate back?"

Ms. Batey sighed and nodded as she left the room.

Jay pulled up by the theater just in time to see Alex wave goodbye to Paige. She hurried over to the car and climbed in behind Emma. "What's up?" she asked.

Jay shrugged. Emma shrugged. Alex frowned. "What? You can't tell me that nothing happened today!"

Emma shrugged again. "The usual…waited on tables…told off some slutty little bitch who had the nerve to call me a whore…" Alex snorted and Emma smiled. "Thought you'd like that."

"Don't forget to tell her about your little visit from Aaron," Jay groused.

"Aaron? What the hell did he want?"

Emma shrugged. "To tell me that he believed me about Teddy."

Alex stared at Emma in shock. "And you believe him?"

Emma shrugged. "Some of the stuff he said…it just…he was being nice. Like…kind of like he used to be before…"

Alex sighed and shook her head. "I can't believe you're falling for it!"

"I'm not falling for anything! It's not like he wanted me to…you know…he didn't ask me to hang out with him again. He's done with me."

Jay sighed and shook his head. "How can you be sure?"

Emma sighed and rolled her eyes as she began running a fingertip over the scar on her wrist sadly. "If he weren't, he had plenty of opportunity to kill me, or at least beat me senseless." She looked out the window. "He's through with me. Just like Mom and Jack…like Archie…like Manny and JT and Toby and Liberty…like Chris and Peter…like Sean."

Alex leaned forward and touched Emma's trembling shoulder. "Hey! You've got friends. Not everyone's through with you, OK?" Emma nodded and dropped her head sadly. "Just don't think you don't."

"I won't," Emma whispered as the tears trickled slowly down her cheeks.

Sean watched Shanna lying beneath him, gasping and whimpering. He watched the passion in her eyes as she pulled his head down to meet her lips. Her legs were wrapped tightly around him and she was giving herself to him as she whispered his name over and over.

Sean loved this feeling. He felt wanted and needed. It was the first time he'd felt anything like this since Emma had tried to talk to him the day after they broke up in grade nine.

"We both said a lot of things…"

His movements quickened as he tried to forget Emma's face that day. Shanna's whimpering grew more frantic. Her nails dug into his back.

"I thought we could talk. Really talk."

"I got nothing to say."

Shanna was crying out under him. He ignored her…just pushed harder until she was screaming. He finally looked into her face and realized that she wasn't Shanna anymore. She was Emma. Her face was twisted in pain and fear. She cried his name loudly. He was hurting her, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

Sean shot up in bed…slicked with sweat and sick to his stomach. He looked frantically around the dark room and realized he'd been having a nightmare. His mind locked onto the sights and sounds of Emma's fear and pain and his stomach turned. He jumped up and rushed to the bathroom, barely dropping to his knees before the vomit rose from his throat. He didn't think he would ever stop. Every time he thought his body could relax for a moment, the dream would fill his head and he would once again throw up. He couldn't seem to stop until his body collapsed onto the floor from complete exhaustion.

He curled into a fetal position as his body trembled with pain and fear. He whispered Emma's name over and over.