Chapter 11: Not Gon' Cry

Alex was sick and couldn't go to school the next day, and since Jay hadn't gotten back in after Spin had gotten them expelled, Emma was on her own.

She threw on a pair of old blue jeans with rips in the knees and tears under the back pockets. She grabbed one of Alex's dark green tank tops. "Can I wear this?"

Alex nodded. "Sure," she muttered before falling into a sneezing fit.

"Oh, poor Lexi," Emma murmured as she sat on the bed and snuggled her friend. "Are you sure you don't want me to stick around and help you out today?"

Alex smiled. "I'm good. Now…you do realize your ass is hanging out, right?"

Emma shrugged with a frown. "So? It's not like I get many looks of the non-perverted variety anyway."

"Emma!"

"No…it's OK. I'm fine with it. It was my choice to date Aaron in the first place. I ruined my own reputation."

Alex sighed. "You're doing better, though, Emma. Don't let those useless fucks at school tear down everything you're actually starting to accomplish."

Emma smiled. "Thanks."

Alex smiled back. "Welcome. Now…are you gonna' change into something less revealing?"

Emma laughed and kissed Alex's cheek. "What's the matter? Worried that someone will try to steal me away?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yeah. That's it," she muttered sarcastically. "I'm worried that someone will snap you right up."

Emma playfully slapped her friend's arm. "You're just afraid I'll get an offer…and that I'll forget to bring home cold medicine on the way home from school."

"Hey! What can I say? I need a Nyquil buzz to get me through this!"

Emma laughed and hurried out the door when she heard Jay's horn honking outside the apartment. She ran down the steps and stopped short when she realized that it wasn't Jay's car. She didn't know these people…three or four…four, she realized as she saw a shorter head pop up from the back seat. Her confusion turned to horror and she scrambled to find her apartment key. She knew that she couldn't fight, so flight was her only option. A familiar set of green eyes was suddenly mere inches from her face.

"Get in the car, Bitch."

Sean was finally allowed out of bed later that morning. His drug test had come back clean and Nurse Mitchell had offered to take a walk with him on his break. Sean…eager to get out of the stuffy room, which still held small whiffs of vomit from the previous evening…had jumped up and followed the man out the door.

Nurse Mitchell stood by Sean as he signed out, and then followed Sean through the hospital doors. "So…"

"So…" Sean muttered back. "Is anyone ever gonna' come clean that puke stink out of my room? I know I'm used to living in a dump…but even I have my standards."

Nurse Mitchell chuckled. "Why do you think I brought you out here?"

Sean smirked. "Gee…and I thought it was because you liked my company!"

Mr. Mitchell laughed and clapped Sean on the shoulder. "You're one of the few patients I think I might actually miss when you get out of here."

Sean smiled. "No, you won't. Everyone thinks I'm worth missing until I'm actually gone. That's when they realize I'm not that memorable."

Mr. Mitchell shook his head. "Is that what you think?"

He shrugged and sighed. "Not one word. I moved back here to escape the shooting…but not one person…not even my own girlfriend saw fit to call me more than once. And the only reason Ellie called was to let me know that she was sending my shit back to Wasaga."

Mr. Mitchell frowned. "Had you planned on staying?"

Sean shrugged. "Maybe…maybe not. I mean…I just figured I needed some time. I guess she figured that since I didn't answer when she asked how long…I guess she figured I meant for good."

Nurse Mitchell nodded. "Oh. But you didn't?"

"I don't know. Maybe. At the time…" Sean shrugged. "Never figured my dad would go beyond the drunken bastard act he's played so well for so long and turn into an abusive…" he sighed. "It doesn't matter."

Nurse Mitchell sighed. "Maybe it does…Sean? If you had a chance to go back, knowing what you know now…would you have still come here to Wasaga?"

Sean frowned, deep in thought. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah. I probably would have. I…after I killed Rick trying to save Emma…" he looked up at Nurse Mitchell quickly before turning his attention back to the path ahead. "She was my ex…and when I saw that gun…my mind kept popping back to everything we had. I realized I fucked up with her. I kept glancing back, trying to see where she was, praying that Rick was just messing with me…seeing inside my head, and wanting to hurt me like he thought Emma had hurt him. When it was over…I felt so damned guilty."

"Because Rick died?"

Sean shrugged. "Yeah…but not just that. When we got back to school after the shooting, Emma hugged me and thanked me, and all I could think was…'Shit! I want her back!' The whole time off while they cleaned up and stuff…I kept telling Ellie that I was glad I survived because almost dying made me realize my love for her when the fact was that the whole time I was looking for a way out without hurting her." He looked out over the hospital fence and sighed, slowly running his finger over the chain linking. "I brought them all to the beach because I wanted Emma to see for herself where I came from…why I am the way I am. She seemed to get it right away. Ellie resisted. Practically called me a liar for remembering things differently…Emma just seemed to know that I needed my memories intact for my sake."

The nurse nodded. "So…you were torn between love and being in love."

Sean nodded. "Yeah. I guess that's about the closest way I can think to explain…" his voice trailed off as a feeling of panic and fear filled him. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.

Nurse Mitchell frowned. "Sean? Are you OK?" he asked the trembling boy.

Sean took another steadying breath and finally nodded. "Yeah. Just…a weird feeling is all."

Emma gaped at the boy's green eyes in terror as her eyes darted around, taking in her surroundings as she looked for an escape.

"I said to get in the car," he muttered. "Don't make me get my friends to-"

"What do you want, Teddy?" she asked shakily.

"Get in the-"

"No!" Emma hissed, shaking her head sharply. "Do you think I'm crazy?"

"You got a death wish, Bitch?" he asked in disbelief.

Emma suddenly found that remark funny. She laughed as she pulled up her sleeve to reveal the long scars running up her wrist. "What do you think, Asshole?"

Teddy glared at her. He took a step towards Emma, but she sidestepped him. "I'm not going anywhere with you. A-and if you take one more step…or you touch me ever again…I swear I'll scream so loud that all of Toronto will hear me!"

Teddy advanced on Emma, who sidestepped him again and turned to run, but he caught her waist. Emma screamed and kicked her legs, wondering briefly where the hell Jay was. She knew what would happen if they got her in that car…and she began to fight harder.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Let me go!"

"Get her legs, Joe!"

"Get her fucking legs!"

"Stop! No! Help!"

"You like that, don't you, Whore?"

"Get your fucking hands off my girl, T-Man," a familiar voice growled fiercely at the group.

The other three dropped her, but Teddy held tight. "Stay out of this, Aaron."

Aaron took another menacing step towards the other boy. "Maybe you didn't hear me. I said to get your hands off my girl before I fucking break them off her!"

Teddy stared at Aaron for a moment before dropping her. Emma fell on her butt as a loud "Oof!" escaped her lungs. Aaron quickly stepped between her and Teddy, trying to prevent a stray kick from the other boy.

"So what? The bitch cries rape and you get all macho?"

Aaron shook his head with a harsh laugh. "Nope. Some asshole raped my girl, and next time he touches her, I'll fucking hunt him down like a dog and kill him."

Teddy glared between the two as Aaron held his hand out behind his back to help Emma up. His gray eyes never left Teddy's green ones as Emma took his hand and stood. He pulled her protectively against his back and held her hand tightly in his. "The game's over. You had your fun. Now, I suggest you back off and go about your business, T-Man cause you aint' the only one with friends."

Teddy rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'll catch her alone one of these times." He slid into the back seat of the car and they rode away. Emma let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks."

Aaron nodded as Emma dropped her hand from his. She dropped her eyes. He lifted her chin to study her. "Are you OK?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah. I…I'd better get to school."

"Come on. I'll walk you."

"OK," she murmured nervously as she fell into step with him. "Jay was supposed to pick me up, but…you know Jay. He probably forgot what time school started. I don't think I ever remember seeing him at school on time. I think he got a little better at it when Sean was catching a ride with him, but…" she babbled. Emma frowned, hating when she babbled.

Aaron chuckled and playfully bumped her shoulder. "You're nervous. That's cute."

"I'm not nervous!" she chuckled.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah. You are. Remember who you're talking to."

Emma sighed sadly, dropping her eyes back to her feet. "Yeah. I remember."

As suddenly as the feeling had come to Sean, it was gone. He shook it off and tried to smile at Nurse Mitchell. "Wow! That was weird."

Nurse Mitchell studied him for a moment. "Are you sure you're OK?"

Sean nodded. "Yeah. I guess the whole puking so much last must have made me weaker than I thought."

Nurse Mitchell nodded and glanced at his watch. "Yeah. Guess it does sort of take it out of you. Well…my break is about over, so we should head back."

"Yeah. OK."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Nurse Mitchell broke the stillness. "So…would you go back if you thought you were needed?"

Sean frowned, thinking. "I dunno. Depends on who it was for. Ellie or Emma? In a heartbeat. Jay? Yeah, maybe. Maybe even Alex or Amy…but not so much for Amy."

Nurse Mitchell chuckled. "Who's Amy?"

Sean shrugged. "Just an ex…who never should have been a girlfriend. Emma and I broke up…and I was just horny."

"Ahhh…to be young again," the nurse laughed.

Sean smirked and nodded. "I guess. Anyway…she dumped me for someone else, and I never gave her a second thought." He frowned. "In fact…I think today might be the first time I've thought of her since I left Toronto."

Nurse Mitchell shrugged. "Some people whisk through your life with a whisper. But some of them are lucky enough to ride through on a tidal wave."

Sean laughed. "That's Emma! She's this tough…" he sighed as he tried to think of the words. "She's strong and independent. She made me want to do things I never thought possible. But she had weaknesses that she only shared with me. I knew as much about her as her friend since kindergarten, and that's saying a lot." He sighed. "She's…she's the one I know weathered the shooting with strength and courage."

"Hey, Aaron? I…" she sighed and started again. "How come?"

Aaron smirked and rolled his eyes. "Oh, hell! Ten minutes of hanging around with me, and you've lost the ability to speak in full sentences!"

Emma rolled her eyes and smacked him playfully without thinking. "I mean how come you said that stuff to Teddy back there?"

Aaron frowned. "Uhhh…yeah. You were in trouble."

Emma shook her head. "No. I mean…that stuff about me being your girl. Why? You didn't have to-"

Aaron cut her off with a kiss. "Sometimes I kinda' like to think of you that way," he muttered with a smirk and shrug. "I'm not a prick all the time. I just have to act that way."

Emma rolled her eyes as she thought of Sean…how he always acted tougher than he had to be just to hide the pain he was living. She shook the thought away. "Aaron? I know we're over…but…" she sighed. "Oh, hell! What am I doing here?" She started to walk away, but he caught her wrist and pulled her to him, kissing her lips softly.

"You had chocolate for breakfast," he said with a chuckle.

Emma smiled softly and took his hand. "One of the many benefits of living parent free."

"Oh, yeah? What are some of the others?"

Emma smirked and put her forehead against his. "Why don't you come over tonight and find out?" she murmured softly.

Aaron laughed. "Emma Nelson! When did you get a dirty little mind?"

Emma smirked again, but it was quickly replaced with a frown. "Aaron? I…do you think…maybe we could try again? I mean…I know you don't like me much, but…"

He kissed her again, pulling her tightly against him. A moaning sound escaped his throat as his body reacted to her closeness. When he pulled away, he took a breath before talking. "Never said I didn't like you. I said I'm supposed to be an prick." He shrugged and took her hand, walking her to school. "Never said you didn't drive me crazy either. You…ya' sorta' scare me is all."

Emma laughed. "I scare you? How does that work?"

Aaron stopped walking and turned her to face him. He looked in her eyes. "Cause every time I'm with you, I want to wrap your little legs around me and let you make me forget that I'm nothing but a drug dealing piece of shit. I don't like that."

Emma studied him for a moment. "You scare me too. When…you know…I want you to make me forget. Not with dope, but…"

Aaron nodded. "So…wanna' go at it again?"

Emma arched her brow suspiciously. "Go at it?"

Aaron laughed. "You know…try to make me a better man?" He shrugged. "I mean…what the hell? You did a damned good job at changing Cameron…and Alex…and Jay…"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Alex and Jay changed for themselves. And Sean? Yeah," she muttered angrily, rolling her eyes. "I changed him so good he dumped me and went to Ellie." She shook her head. "Ellie's the one that changed him. Not me."

Aaron shrugged. "So…got the balls to try to change me?"

Emma smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I think we could give it a hell of a try."