Hi! Chapter 2 here, since at least a one person reviewed...Also, it might be slightly more angsty than the first chapter; sorry! Also, Stan Kyle Cartman and Kenny are complete assholes in this chapter. Forgive me

Warning: Language, major dissing of the Christian faith...I think...well, in later chapters it will. There probably will be some Pip/Damien slash, but I'm still not sure how that's gonna work, so I can't tell you when. Most likely, at the end of the story lol.

Disclaimer: Duh I own South Park, just like I own Totally Spies, Microsoft, and Cingular. If you don't believe me, than your brain must be completely fried and you must be incredibly stupid to think I don't own South Park!

Chapter 2 – If You Eat Lunch With Me, You're Probably Gonna be Contaminated

Pip sighed as he poked at his meal absently with his spork. He had told Damien not to eat with him, but it still hurt a bit to know that someone had actually heeded his words for once and listened to him. Pip hadn't had anybody want to eat lunch with him before, and of course the first thing he does when someone wants to be anywhere near him is push them away.

But, it was for the better. Pip would rather Damien make some real friends than Damien be his friend and be hated.

Pip looked up across the lunch room and saw Damien sitting with Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick. For some reason it was as if they had already known each other. "It certainly does seem like I already knew him," Pip mused. Pip took a small bite of his food and sighed, staring at the table again.

Pip hadn't a clue why everybody seemed to despise him. Did they have something against French people? "I'm not French," he said quietly to himself. But they all thought he was French. Maybe they just hated France or something. Or maybe, maybe Pip should have stood up for himself a little more and they would have liked him. Again, doubtful. They would have probably just beat him up or something for acting up like that.

"It's not like there's anything I can do now," Pip muttered miserably.

Pip looked up at Damien again, and saw him going for the trash can. After he'd emptied his tray, Damien looked in Pip's direction, and Pip immediately turned his head towards the table. If Damien caught him staring, he might force his new friends to hurt him. Pip ate hastily, trying to make it appear that he had been eating the whole time. "He can't come over here, he can't..."

But, Pip isn't exactly what you'd call lucky, and his prayers never really get answered.

"Hey Pip, where are those friends you said I wouldn't like?" Damien asked, plopping down into a chair across from the small blonde boy. Pip mumbled something incomprehensible. "What was that?" Damien asked.

"I said, the friends you wouldn't like are all around us at this very moment," Pip repeated, still quietly.

"Pip, are you insane or something? Because there's nobody at this table..."

"That's the whole point!" Pip said a little louder than he'd intended. "I don't have any friends!"

"Oh. Sucks to be you, huh?"

He didn't even know the half of it.

"Just go away!" Pip looked up at Damien with a dark glare, one that would for sure get him beaten for. "I don't want you here!"

"Yes you do," Damien replied nonchalantly. "No offense, but it's kind of obvious that youWANT friends."

Pip knew that Damien just HAD to be making fun of him. "Offense taken," he muttered sullenly. "Just leave me alone, I'm not exactly in the mood to be made fun of at the moment."

"I'm not making fun of you," Damien stated, his expression and tone never changing. "I'm merely stating the apparent truth."

"Well, go away! I don't want you to be friends with me!"

"Why not?"

"Because everyone will hate you too! Don't you get it? Even talking to me like this could cause everyone else to make fun of you for a very long time." Pip was dreadfully aware of the fact that yelling at Damien was sure to get him beaten up later. Well, not like it would hurt that much. Pip was used to abuse from his peers.

"Well, maybe I don't give a rat's ass about those assholes," Damien replied smoothly. Pip literally picked up his tray and threw it at Damien's head. But the moment Pip saw the milk dripping down in Damien's hair, he gasped in horror.

"Oh gosh what have I done?" Pip said frantically while speeding around the table. "I am so terribly sorry! I don't know what came over me!" Pip immediately moved the tray from Damien's head to the table and then went on to pick French fries and lettuce out of Damien's ebony hair. Damien was shocked and was stiff as a board. Pip continued to apologize over and over. "I really am sorry..."

Before Damien could completely beat the crap out of Pip though, a few other people decided that they would do it for him. "Pip, what the hell did you do to our new friend?" Stan asked while pulling the Brit by his collar. Kyle, Cartman and Kenny all stood around behind him; Cartman had his arms crossed and Kyle's hands were on his hips; they were both glaring. Kenny didn't look at all angry, more like he was enjoying watching Pip about to get mauled.

"I didn't mean...I don't know what came over me, Stan..." Pip struggled against the death grip of Stan Marsh.

"It'd better not happen again!" Kyle yelled. "Damien is cool, and if you EVER pull a stunt like that again, we promise there will be ten times the pain that we're gonna inflict on you right now!"

"And of course, the smart-ass Jew would resort to multiplication, but whatever," the fat one said with a huge, heaving sigh. "I'm sorry Pip, but, well...actually, I'm not sorry at all about this." Cartman then dumped an entire milk carton on Pip's head.

"Oh my...that really is a waste, don't you think Fat-ass?" came Damien's voice. "Look, I really don't care if you beat on Pip, but don't do it because of what he's done to me. Do it because of what he's done to you."

"Bzt...hrs nrxrr dine alghtblg to us..."

That roughly translated to, "He's never done anything to us." Damien raised his eyebrow at Kenny's words. "Why are you hurting him if he's never done anything to you?"

"Because he threw a food tray at you!" Stan yelled.

"Yeah, well, I don't really care. You guys are assholes."

Stan promptly dropped Pip onto to ground and walked off coldly, talking loudly about how annoyingly ungrateful Damien was. "I don't like him, he's an asshole!" Kyle agreed. Damien shook his head, laughing quietly but evilly. Pip stood up and rubbed his arm embarrassedly.

"Um...you did not have to do that," Pip muttered.

"I didn't do it for you!" Damien snapped. "I did it because those guys are assholes."

"Yeah...it was still really nice of you..."

Damien scoffed. "I'm not nice. I'm not of nice genealogy either. And if you ever mention this again to anyone, you will be dead."

"Okay!" Pip couldn't help but grin. "Oh...but, you'll be contaminated if you sit by me any longer...you should go somewhere else."

"Ha, is your unpopularity a disease now?" Pip merely nodded. Damien cocked his eyebrow and grinned. "So, you're saying you DON'T want me to sit with you." Pip nodded. "You DO want me to sit with you?"

"No! I mean, I want...but you will...everyone will..." Pip shook his head and sighed and plastered his eyes to the floor. "You don't want to sit with me, really. It's for your own good. I mean, I DO want to have a friend, but...I'd never be so selfish as to pull you into a bad reputation, and -"

"Kid, just so you know, I don't really like you. But I like you more than I like them. So I'm gonna stick with you, blondie."

Pip lifted his head with a huge, beaming smile on his face, promptly wiped off with a death glare from the dark boy in front of him. "I don't LIKE you! But...they're assholes and will screw me over, and you're too wimpy to do that!"

"Okay...that makes sense..." Pip still couldn't help the nice feeling inside of him. Damien hadcomplete knowledge that people were going to make fun of him for being Pip's friend, and he didn't really care. "Er...I need to go wash this milk out of my hair," Pip said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, me too. Some idiot little British boy threw his lunch tray at me for no particular reason," said Damien. Pip blushed.

"Er...I really am sorry about that..."

"Don't mention it. I don't exactly care. This milk is just too white..."

Damien WAS pretty dark, Pip had to agree. "You are very black, I must say. Er...dark, not black...er..." Pip looked flustered and Damien just smacked him over the back of the head lightly.

"Stop acting like a little girl."

"Well...okay..."

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Hi! This is the end of chapter 2, and I don't exactly like it as much as I liked chapter one. It's not very long, I must say. I really would like some reviews, because that would just be really cool lol. Please tell me what you think, and if you think this is going anywhere. I already have the story entirely planned out, but if you guys don't like it I don't think there's really any point to continue it, is there? So, flame me if you will, I use the flames to burn people I don't like. It's really quite jolly old fun!

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