Chapter 16: High All The Time

Alex rushed into the apartment. "Emma? Em?" she called out, going from room to room. "Hey! Cause Girl? You here?"

The bedroom door opened, and Emma walked out. She was wearing an old battered pair of blue jeans that looked as if they had been run over by rush hour traffic…before they had been thrown into a washing machine full of marbleizing paint. Her tank top wasn't in much better condition. Alex frowned. "Hey! I heard you didn't finish out the day after Hot Sauce called you to the office…"

Emma shook her head and chuckled. "Nope! Can't exactly go back to class for two weeks."

"What? That bitch suspended you for doing the same thing her shit head son did?"

Emma nodded with a smirk as she plopped down on the sofa. "Yeah…seems that Degrassi has just now instated a zero tolerance policy on that too!"

Alex snorted, rolling her eyes, and plopping next to her. "Bullshit!" she hissed angrily. "Fucking bitch! What a bitch!" she ranted. "Don't worry, Emma. Tomorrow, I'll talk to Marco, and we'll figure out a way to get you back into-"

Emma hugged her. "Thanks, but…I think I need the break anyway."

Alex slumped back, crossing her arms angrily. "Fine! But I swear to God, if you're going down for this shit, then so is he! I think I still got that email in my school account. I hid it…a little extra insurance in case Princess decided to get a little too high and mighty…I'll just send it straight to the school board. Then they'll be forced to suspend that little shit too!"

Emma's eyes widened. "Don't you dare!" she gasped, but laughed to let Alex know it wasn't that huge of a deal. "Then he'll be over here bugging me night and day!"

Alex sighed angrily. "Fine, but…you can't make me promise not to make his life hell for the next few weeks…" she shrugged and smirked. "Or lifetimes…whichever I deem necessary."

Emma laughed and hugged her again. "Hell, Lex! You know…you're my total best friend! I don't even think Manny would have gone that far for me!"

Alex smiled. "Hey! Manny and me? Like apples and oranges."

Emma nodded. "Hey! So…Aaron's friend Dogg is having a party-"

"Dogg? As in Dave Grogan?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah. Wanna' come?"

Alex shook her head. "I'd like to, but I have to work tonight."

"Oh."

Alex frowned. "Just…if you go…be careful, OK? We don't know how many of Teddy's friends hang out with him."

Emma nodded. "I know. I'll stick with Aaron, and I'll keep my phone ready, just in case."

Alex nodded and sighed. "OK. You do that."

Sean stopped by Kim's room and knocked on the door. "Come in," she called out softly.

He smiled. "Hey, Kim! You ready for-" his smile dropped as he saw her laying in bed, her face red and puffy from crying. He sat on the edge of her bed. "You OK?"

She sniffled and shook her head.

Sean slowly rubbed her back. "What's wrong?"

"H-he c-c-called me a f-fat loser!" she wailed.

Sean's frown deepened. "Who?"

"Ray! He said…he said…he didn't want to be with me anymore…cause screwing me was like…like trying to f-f-fuck a beached whale!" she sobbed.

Sean sighed and rolled his eyes as he lay next to her, looking her in the eyes. "You're better off without him," he murmured, a slow smirk spreading across his lips. "I mean…who in the hell wants to be with somebody who's screwed a beached whale?" She chuckled softly through her tears, making Sean's smile grow. He tried to sound serious. "No…seriously. I mean…isn't that like animal cruelty or something?"

She giggled. "Stop!"

He shook his head. "Really. Give me the bastard's last name. I'm calling the animal rights people cause whales have a right to beach themselves wherever the hell they want without having some freak coming along and poking their holes!"

By now, Kim's giggles had become full blown laughter. She slapped his shoulder playfully as she sat up. "Stop it before I pee my pants!"

Sean sat up next to her and grinned. "Feel better?"

She smiled and hugged him tightly. "Yeah. Thanks to you."

He hugged her back and stood up, offering her his hand. "Come on. I'm hungry."

Kim smiled and took his hand, following him out of the room. "Have you always been so funny? I mean…I'll bet your friends loved having you around in a crisis!"

Sean dropped his head, a sad smile on his face as he thought of the pain he'd caused Emma by not standing by her when Snake was so sick. "No. I used to…I used to hide from my pain. I was so mad all the time that I didn't have time to worry about everybody else."

Kim frowned. "But…you seem so good at it!"

Sean smiled and squeezed her hand. "I guess you just bring the nice guy out of me. But we have to be careful to keep on schedule. If I'm so much as one minute late with my feeding…the butt head breaks free from his cage!"

Kim laughed again and pulled him. "Better hurry up then!"

Sean smiled and let her drag him. "Now you're getting it!" he said with a chuckle.

Emma slid on her black leather jacket just as the doorbell rang. She hurried over and answered the door, grinning and jumping into Aaron's arms. They began kissing as she wrapped her legs around him.

He laughed after a moment. "Hey, Baby. Ready?"

"Yep."

Twenty minutes later, they were at Dogg's house dancing. People kept coming over and greeting them, and Emma and Aaron both began to relax.

"You look hot tonight," he murmured in her ear.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Want something to drink?" he asked.

She nodded and Aaron left her on the edge of the dance floor. Emma grinned as she watched all the couples dancing, happy because she once again had someone to dance with.

"Hey," someone said, tapping her shoulder. She turned with a frown. "Aaron wanted me to give this to you."

Emma frowned at the bottle of beer. "Ummm…thanks," she mumbled and took it, taking a sip. As soon as the person was out of sight, she strolled away, finding the kitchen and spitting the sip into the sink. She rolled her eyes. How stupid did these guys think she was?

Aaron walked into the kitchen. "Emma? You OK?"

She nodded and smiled, setting the bottle on the table as she took the two bottles of beer and set them on the counter. "We're alone, you know…" she mumbled, sitting on the table and pulling him against her, wrapping her legs around his waist.

He grinned and braced himself on either side of her hips, knuckles on the table. Emma kissed him roughly and Aaron returned the kiss. Soon, he had her leaned back, kissing her neck. She moaned and writhed underneath him.

"Wanna' go to my place?" he whispered in her ear.

Emma froze. "Ummm…uhhh…yeah…we can do-"

He pulled back in frustration. "I'm not going to force you!"

Emma trembled and nodded. "I…I know."

He shook his head, grabbing his beer. "No, you don't. Come on. Let's go party."

"Aaron!"

"No! I'm not…not like that anymore, but you can't see it. Let's just go back to the party and…party."

Emma nodded, tears in her eyes and grabbed her bottle, following him out. They danced, occasionally taking sips of their drinks and watching each other nervously. Finally, Aaron went for a refill and Emma searched for the bathroom.

On her way out, she happened by a room with an open door. Emma stopped and watched in amazement as three boys and a girl sat around the table sniffing white powder through dollar bills. They didn't even seem to notice her as she watched the scene unfold.

Emma jumped as a hand grasped her shoulder. "We should go," Aaron said.

Emma shook her head. "I'm…I'm not ready yet."

Aaron sighed and walked off. "I'm tired, Emma. I'm going to lay down. Let me know when you're ready to split."

Emma nodded, her eyes already back on the small group. Aaron kissed her cheek. "Be careful, Baby. OK?" he whispered.

She nodded again and Aaron sighed. He hated leaving her alone, but he was feeling dizzy and sick to his stomach. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him. His arms and legs felt heavy. 'Ten minutes,' he thought to himself. 'Ten minutes…I'll listen for her…she'll be OK…Dogg'll have her back…he's got my back…' his thoughts wandered as he stumbled into a room and fell onto the bed.

Emma stood there in awed silence as she watched the small group snorting up. A hand gripped her shoulder, but this time, she couldn't seem to turn away.

"Wanna' give it a try? It's a rush."

Emma shook her head. "I…I shouldn't," she murmured. "I…was already hooked on Oxy…can't take the chance."

The short dark-haired boy chuckled. "It's not addictive if you only do it once, E!"

Emma turned to the boy and frowned. "Dogg…I don't know…"

He pouted, his bottom lip jutting out comically. "Come on, E…I'd never do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?"

Emma smiled at him. "I know."

He smiled back and took her hand, leading her into the room. "Hey, guys. You remember E, right?"

A few of the boys smirked, making Emma frown. Somehow, they seemed familiar…

"Want to walk off dinner?" Kim asked with a shy smile.

Sean smiled. "Sure. I could use the fresh air."

"I'm sorry that Shanna is on twenty-four hour watch. We could have asked her to come along."

Sean smiled and shrugged. "I think she's pretty paranoid now…since somebody busted up all our stuff."

She frowned. "Yeah. I heard. Who would do that?"

He shrugged again. "No clue…maybe just a patient who likes to break things, but didn't want to get in trouble by trashing their own room."

She frowned. "I don't know anyone like that, but you never know with this place."

He nodded. "Yeah." Sean thought for a moment as he dropped the sign out pen and they headed for the front door. "So…seems like the perfect opportunity for you to tell me about the rest of your pets."

"Sean! Your room was trashed, and you aren't freaked? Not even a little bit?"

He shrugged. "It's just….stuff." Sean sighed. "Stuff can be replaced. People…the ones who matter…can't."

"Are you talking about that Emma girl?" she asked softly. He nodded and she frowned, stopping. When he stopped, she cocked her head to one side and studied Sean closely. "You…if you love her so much…then how come you don't try to get in touch with her?"

Sean sat heavily on a park bench set up for visitors. Kim sat next to him, waiting. He sighed and stared at his hands. "Before…before I came here…Emma…we had history." Kim nodded, letting him know it was OK to continue. "I was…I did a lot of mean stuff to her. I messed her up pretty bad."

"But…you're different now, right?"

He shook his head, looking up at the sky, fighting tears. "I don't deserve her. She's perfect…and I'm just the poor kid of alcoholic parents. She's got this dad…and he has brain damage…but he loves her so much. And she has this step dad who almost died of cancer…and he loves her so much." He sighed. "Hell, everybody loves her…except for my best friend, and I know he shouldn't be my best friend because he hurt her and stuff, but…but he's like me, and we get each other. Emma's always been so full of love and patience…especially for me…but they can't accept each other, but if the chips were down, I think she'd take a bullet for him just to keep from seeing someone die in front of her. What can I give a girl like that? What do I have to offer to someone who has so much love in her heart…when I have nothing to offer?"

Kim grasped his hand sadly, forcing him to look into her eyes. "Sean…you've got love to offer. It's all that matters." She sighed. "I wish…Ray could just…but he can't. He's mean and hateful…and I know I shouldn't love him, but he can be so nice when he wants to be." Her eyes fill with tears and she looks at Sean pleadingly. "Why can't he love me? Or why can't I at least move past him?"

Sean sighed and put his arms around her. "You tell me why I can't move past Emma…and I'll tell you why you still love Ray."

Emma was feeling dizzy…and somewhat giddy. She couldn't stop giggling. Dogg was laughing at her. Emma tried to focus on his face, but she couldn't. His face was twisting and wavering. She shook her head and looked around the room. There, on the bed in the corner, the girl who had been snorting coke with the group lay. Another boy was over her and she was murmuring, unzipping his jeans. Emma looked away, the color rising in her cheeks as the boy plunged into the girl. What in the hell was going on? How could they be going at it while all those people were sitting right there in the room? Were they crazy?

"I…I need to f-find A-Aaron," she mumbled, trying to stand. "Gotta' g-g-go hooome…"

Dogg chuckled as she fell back into the chair. He stood up. "Come on, Sexy. We'll go find him."

She smiled and hugged him when he pulled her up. She grabbed her beer. "Thanks, Daawwwwgy!" she said with a chuckle as he walked her from the room. "You're such a good friend!"

He laughed and led her from room to room. Each bed had a couple…but so far, no Aaron.

"No, I mean it!" she said loudly. "You takin' care of me. I love you!"

"Oh, you do, do you?" he asked teasingly.

"Yup! Love ya', love ya', love ya'!"

He led her into a room. "So…you love me?" he asked, chuckling.

She frowned and squinted in the dark. "Aaron's not in here!" she said.

Dogg nodded. "You're getting heavy. I'll find Aaron and bring him to you."

She nodded and sat down, starting to feel sick. "Thanks."

He studied her for a moment. "It'll cost you, though."

She looked up with a frown. "Huh?"

"Wanna' buck," he teased.

Emma laughed. "Can I owe you?"

Dogg's face suddenly took on a strange look. "So…you like flyin'?" he asked as he sat across from her. "You look ready to puke."

Emma shook her head. "Nahhhh….jus' seepy," she slurred.

"OK…I'll go get Aaron. But let's lay you down before you fall down."

He helped her stand and led her to the bed. But instead of helping her, he pushed her back. She fell on her rear with a thud. "Ow! What the hell?"

He unzipped his pants. "Told ya'…it'll cost ya'. Just like old times," he said with a sneer as he sat on the bed directly in front of Emma, who was sitting in shock on the floor.

"But…Aaron said…" She frowned. What had Aaron said?

"Please? No one does it as good as you," he said with a pout.

"But I'm with Aaron!"

"Oral aint' cheating."

"But-"

"Do you want me to fucking get your boy or not?" he shouted.

Emma nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "You're…s'posed to be my friend! S'posed to be Aaron's friend," she muttered, crawling to the door. "I'll find him m'self!"

Dogg sighed and stood up, zipping his pants. "Fuck it! You're no fun anymore! Fucking prude!" he groused as he lifted her up and tossed her on the bed.

She cowered in terror. "Please don't!"

But he was already gone.

Sean returned to his room to find Shanna staring blankly at the TV. "Have a nice dinner?" she asked hotly.

Sean frowned. "Uhhh…yeah. They served spag-"

"Like I care," she hissed and stood up, crossing the room. Sean caught her arm.

"What's your deal?"

"Are you screwing her already?"

"What?"

"Kim! I knew I shouldn't have introduced you two! You're such a fucking bleeding heart!"

"Shanna! Stop talking stupid! She's a nice girl with a shitty boyfriend! I'm trying to be nice!"

"By screwing her? How's that supposed to-"

"I'm not!"

Her tone changed to soft. "You're not?"

He shook his head. She smiled. She moved towards him, but he stepped away with a frown. "Shanny…I like you, but…you scare me sometimes. What the hell is up with you? One minute, you're calling me a whore…and the next you wanna' get with me? What's that about?"

"I don't know!" she wailed. "I just…I like you, Sean! I'm scared you're gonna' meet somebody else!"

Sean sighed and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. "You're not gonna' lose me. OK? We'll figure something out, OK?"

She nodded, burying her face in his neck. Sean held back a sad sigh. Shanna might look like Emma…but everything she did reminded him that she wasn't Emma. What had he gotten himself into?

Emma lay trembling on the bed. She was scared…but too sick to move. What if Dogg came back? What if someone else came in? What if-

The door opened and Emma yelped, tucking herself into a tight ball.

"Baby? Emma?"

Emma let out a sob of relief as Aaron came over and pushed her hair from her eyes. "Aaron!"

He lay next to her. "What's wrong? Dogg just said you were acting weird."

She hugged him tighter. "I don't feel good! I'm sick! I wanna' go home!"

He sighed. "Can't. Can't drive. I think someone spiked my drink. Musta' hit yours too."

Emma knew that her illness wasn't the beer, but she was afraid to tell him. She was scared he'd dump her if he knew. "OK…I guess we could sleep a bit."

Aaron nodded and kissed her, pulling her against him. She kissed his neck softly and he moaned. "You…liked that?" she whispered in surprise.

He lifted her chin and looked in her eyes before pulling her face to his, kissing her deeply. Her hands drifted to his jeans. He pulled back. "Are you…sure?"

She smiled and nodded before kissing him again.

Sean was laying underneath Shanna, watching her closely. There was none of the pleasure from a few nights before. Now, his eyes were glued to her for a different reason. For some reason…after her blow up…she seemed sort of 'Single White Female-esque' to him, and he was waiting for the knife to be yanked from behind her back, slashing crazily at him.

Every sound she made…every sigh and whimper…each time she whimpered his name…he flinched, seeing the steely blade moving right for his face.

Shit! He really needed to get away from her! She was nuts…obsessed. Why hadn't he noticed before?

Shanna collapsed over him, and slid off of him, laying her head on his chest. "That was nice," she murmured.

Sean stared at the ceiling and nodded. "Uhhh…yeah…great…" he muttered.

'What in the hell was I thinking screwing a chick in a mental hospital?' he thought to himself. He sighed and stood up, putting his sweats back on.

"Where are you going?" she asked nervously.

Sean thought quickly and shrugged. "Gotta' take a leak." He walked out.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. How in the hell had he gotten into such deep shit?

"Things are always gonna' be like this with me, Emma!"

"Like what?"

"Like this! Me…always screwing up. It's in my blood."

"It's in your head."

Sean entered the bathroom and leaned against the door, closing his eyes. He concentrated on Emma's face…fierce and determined…but her eyes were always filled with softness for him. Emma had never made him feel this kind of insecurity. Nervous, sweaty-palmed, dry mouthed, and grinning like an idiot was as insecure as it got with Emma. "See, Em?" he whispered sadly. "Told you I was a big fat loser!"

Aaron flopped on his back and stared at the ceiling. "Dammit, Emma! What the hell's your deal?"

"I…I said I w-was…sorry!"

"You're supposed to be my girlfriend! I offered you an out, but you kept pushing the issue! What the fuck was the point if you're just going to cry the whole fucking time…again!"

Emma sat up, pulling up her pants angrily and slashing the tears from her face with the back of her hand. "Well, I didn't exactly notice you stopping until you were done anyway!" She stood up and rolled her eyes incredulously. "Oh, wait!" she hissed sarcastically. "I forgot…you had to get your fun, and now you're done, right?"

Aaron caught her wrist. "Who said I was done? Emma, I-"

She jerked away angrily and shook her head. "No! You know what? I'm done! Tonight…tonight there was a whole party full of guys who were hot for me, and you? You have me…and it still isn't enough!"

She stormed out and slammed the door behind her. Soon, she found herself in the room again…sitting on Dogg's lap and taking the straw with a grin.

Dogg frowned. "What are you-"

"Just a little fun," she said with a smirk as she leaned over the small mirror on the table.

Fifteen minutes later, Emma was leading Dogg into an empty room. She pushed him back on the bed with a grin.

"What the-"

Emma smirked and dropped to her knees in front of him. "Don't you remember? I'm Aaron's slut," she muttered, unzipping his jeans.

Dogg grinned, taking her head and guiding her.

When it was over, he grinned and handed her a bracelet. Emma tied it on and smirked. "Remember…tell all your friends…I'm back…in full glory. Emma Nelson…bracelet whore is once again open for business!" she laughed, leaving the room.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Aaron growled, grabbing her wrist. His frown grew as he felt the piece of material under his hand. He lifted her arm and glared at the bracelet.

"What? Pissed cause I went on my own terms?" she hissed. "Pissed cause you didn't call the shots on it this time?"

"Whore!" he whispered. "You're a fucking whore!" he shouted.

"Gee…and who made me that way?" she shrieked back.

His hand shot out, striking her hard. She dropped to one knee, grabbing her face. She shook off the sting quickly and stood up. "Yeah…just like old times, aint' it?" she said with a smirk and walked away.

"See, Em? Told you I was a big fat loser!"

Emma stopped with a gasp. She frowned and shook her head quickly to erase the voice in her mind, and walked out the front door.