A/N: I feel special! I actually have gotten 8 whole reviews! That means about 2 and 2/3 reviews each chapter! Wow, I'm getting fractions lol. And yes, I am aware that 8 reviews isn't very much and I wish more people would review, but oh well.

Warning: I wrote it.

Disclaimer: Yes, I own South Park. I also own Hollister, Panasonic, and Wisconsin! Don't believe me? Go to Wisconsin and find out yourself!

Oh, and I incorporated your idea in here, Society's Cavity! I hope you don't mind lol.

Chapter 4 – Can I say sorry a little more, Damien?

The next two weeks of Pip's life were the best two weeks Pip had ever experienced. Pip had never known just how cool it was to have a friend! Lunch hour passed by quickly and painlessly, since with Damien around, no one dared to come near them. During his one class with Damien, the teacher let them sit by each other (after Damien and Bebe got into a heated argument during the middle of class, of course). Damien actually seemed to enjoy Pip's company quite a bit. And Pip now had somebody who he could complain about Mr. Withers to.

Pip just hoped his new friend never asked to come over to his house.

"Pip-squeak," Damien said while patting Pip's shoulder. "We're going to the movies after school today. I want to see that new Heaven vs. Hell movie."

"It kind of seems like you'd want to see that," Pip said while cracking a grin. Damien just made a 'blergh' noise in the back of his throat.

"Jesus isn't really so bad, actually. It's his daughter I don't like."

"Daughter?"

"Er...never mind. Anyway, you're meeting up with me out by the...statue thingy in the front right after school, okay?"

Pip nodded and jacked one of Damien's pretzels. "Okay, Master. I'll do everything you say, without question, even if I have other plans."

"You have plans?"

"No...but what if I did?"

"Then you would've ditched to see the movie with me," Damien answered simply.

Pip nodded slightly. "Well, okay." Pip stole another pretzel and laughed when Damien made an exasperated noise in the back of his throat.

"Goddammit Pip eat your own food!"

"But I like pretzels..." Pip said with an innocent angelic expression on his face.

This didn't faze Damien, who grabbed the snack from Pip's hand before he put it on his tongue. "Didn't your parents ever teach you that it's wrong to steal?" Damien said with a hearty grin lighting up his normally dark face.

Pip's good mood, however, instantly evaporated. "Well...both my parents died when I was very young..."

"Oh." Damien didn't make any smart-ass comments about it like Pip had expected. He merely gave Pip the entire bag of pretzels as consolation.

"Er...thanks?" Pip had grown slightly accustomed to Damien giving him some of his food when he was penniless, but Damien had just said a second ago for Pip to eat his own food. Pip smiled, albeit a very small and slightly sad smile, at the odd way of Damien trying to comfort him. "I really mean it. Thank you very much."

"Whatever. Pretzels make my throat dry..." Damien muttered. "And you have to pay me back later."

"Er...I don't really have much money," Pip said uneasily.

"I meant more along the lines of you, me, empty bathroom, if you catch my drift," Damien said with a sly grin. Pip blushed all the way to the tips of his ears.

"W-What? You don't mean...?" Pip's expression was one to die for, a mixture of confusion, fear, disgust, horror, and embarrassment. His eye were wide, his lips were pursed together tightly (as if to ward of "enemies" of some sort...), his nostrils were flaring, and he was redder than a firetruck.

"Eh, I don't like Frenchies blowing me anyway," said Damien.

"I'm not French," Pip sighed half-heartedly, the phrase being more of a habit than him taking actual offense.

"I'm completely aware of that," Damien responded casually, taking a generous bite of his liverwurst sandwich.

"What's that s'posed to mean...?"

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"PIP!" The one and only Mr. Withers was the one doing the yelling. "This is the 98th time you have been in the office this year! Tell me what happened, and you better not lie you stupid French brat!"

Pip sighed and looked down at his lap. For once, he actually HAD been doing something that he wasn't supposed to be doing. "Well...me and Damien were talking while Mrs. Joy was taking roll call..."

"What do you think gives you the right to talk while your teacher is talking? Did you think what you had to say was more important than Mrs. Joy knowing if everyone was there? Well?"

"No...I don't sir..."

Mr. Withers sighed and slumped down in his leather chair. "Pip, I have had it with you. I can't suspend you for talking out of turn, but I sure as hell can give you a detention for it! You have after-school detention for the rest of the week. Do I make myself clear?"

"Um...may I please not go to detention today?"

"No! You will go to detention and you damn well better learn from it!"

Pip felt a shiver go down his spine. "Mr. Withers, I have plans today! It's extremely important!" Pip could already see Damien's angry face in his brain. "Please, just for today!"

"No Pip. You should've thought about the consequences before talking out of turn. And anyway, what plans do YOU have that could be that important?" Mr. Withers said with an evil, amused grin on his face. Pip bowed his head in defeat. "Now, run along to your...last class. 6th period is over in about three minutes, so don't bother going back there."

"Yes Mr. Withers..."

Pip thought about skipping detention to go see the movie with Damien. But, Pip knew he could get suspended for that. Pip didn't know what he would do if he had no school to go to all day for a week. "Damien is going to be awful mad at me..." Pip felt his eyes tear up slightly. "What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore?" Pip smashed his knuckles together in a manner his old acquaintance Butters used to do constantly. "Oh...I wish that this school wouldn't get me in trouble so often..."

Today, detention was fairly light. Besides Mrs. Tyrese, only one other person was there. It was someone Pip had never really talked to much, Clyde Donovan. Pip sat on the opposite side of the room and patiently waited for the end of detention while figuring out different ways of apologizing to Damien. Would a mere grovel work? Pip wondered. 'No, that's not enough...I'll just tell him I'll do anything he wants me to if he forgives me! Except, I'd already do that. Oh...there's no way to make this work is there? Do you hate me God?'

"Detention is now dismissed," Mrs. Tyrese said monotonously at 3:30, flipping through her Readers Digest. Pip didn't even bother to pack up quickly. There was no possible way that Damien would still be waiting for him at the statue thing in front of the school. Pip shouldered his backpack and walked out of the door.

Pip is not right all that often though. I mean, he can't be correct if he's constantly telling everyone he's not French!

When Pip exited the door at the front of the school building, he was greatly surprised that Damien was leaning against the statue, looking bored. Pip all but ran to him. "Damien!"

"Finally! Stupid brat, I've been waiting here since school got out!"

Pip bit his lip and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm terribly sorry...I got detention...oh gosh, I'm sorry...we probably already missed the movie and..." Pip stared at the ground. "Are we still friends?" Pip cursed himself the minute the words left his mouth. 'That's the STUPIDEST thing you could have said, smart one!' Pip said to himself. 'He's got to think I'm a complete retard now...'

"What, you actually got after-school detention for talking to me during class?" Damien said with a laugh.

"Yes...I didn't mean to...I'm sorry...you should've just left..." Pip muttered bitterly. 'I don't deserve to be waited for...'

"Well, actually...I haven't been waiting here since school got out. I went home when you didn't show up for five minutes. My dad and his boyfriend were just being...extremely mushy and crap, and I had to get out of the house." Damien shuddered. "I knew you didn't actually ditch me. I figured you must have gotten in trouble or something, so I came back here and waited. Of course, now I'm cold. This is all your fault!"

Pip continued to stare at the ground. "I'm very sorry...I...I understand if you don't want to hang out with me anymore..." Pip's left hand grasped his right forearm and he shook very slightly. Pip had lived his whole life without a friend. But now that he was so close to losing his only friend, Pip didn't think he could handle it. His right hand made a fist, and his nails (his very feminine nails) dug into his palm.

"Jesus Pip, get over yourself! I don't really care. You just have to buy me a very expensive jacket now, because I'm cold."

Pip looked up at Damien, his mind torn between relief and utter despair. "B-But...I don't have money..."

"So go whore yourself out to those pedophiles in Middle Park," Damien said with a casual wave of his hand towards the general direction of Middle Park. "They'll probably think you're a girl, heh heh..."

"You're not serious, I can't..." Pip wasn't sure whether Damien was being serious or not. He shook his head wildly. "I won't do that!"

"Well, I guess you're just out of luck..."

The corners of Pip's mouth turned down and his eyes widened. "You mean...w-we're not friends anymore? Because I can't...I can't buy you a j-jacket?" Pip felt his lower lip quivering.

Damien literally smacked himself over the head, then smacked Pip. "Idiot! I said I didn't care! You know I'm joking! You're such a wuss, Pip. C'mon, there's a showing of the movie at 4:10, we can make it to that one. Do you have any money?"

Pip shook his head, still slightly shocked at Damien's outburst.

"Here, take some cash. I'm not paying for you at the box office or it will look like we're on a date!" Damien said while thrusting some cash into Pip's hand.

Pip hastily shook his head yes. "Yeah, that would be...horrible...er...um...not that I think it would be horrible to date you if you were a girl – er, if I was a girl...er...I mean..." Pip decided to shut up before he made a downright fool of himself. "I'm shutting up now..."

"That's a good dog," Damien said while patting Pip on the head.

"I'm not French – er, I mean, I'm not a dog," Pip said. He was so conditioned to saying he wasn't French it just popped out. When Damien started laughing, Pip flushed in embarrassment. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Dude, you just made a joke, that's all," Damien said, his laughter subsiding.

"I did?"

"Yes!"

Pip couldn't help the grin that popped up on his face. "Wow...I made a joke...by accident"

"Ha, I should've video-taped it; it will probably never happen again."

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Well...this is probably the last you're gonna hear of this story until July 24th, at the earliest, because I am going on vacation! To Corolla, North Carolina! I'm leaving this Saturday (at 4 in the morning) and I'm not coming back until the 22nd or the 23rd. Don't expect any chapters; I'm taking my laptop but I probably won't post anything because I'm probably not going to write anything. I'm hiding my folder somewhere so neither of my brothers accidentally stumble across any of my crazy messed up writing lol. Anyway, since everyone who reviewed (even though there's only about 8...) actually liked this story, I am officially apologizing. Normally I'm a quick updater, but I probably won't be updating until late July. So, sorry!