Chapter 19: Who's Fooling Who?

Dear Sean,

Funny how life works sometimes. It's like…just when I thought that everything in my life was meaningless, I found a bit of hope in the form of a pregnant girl named Tori. She's all alone in the world…just like me. But now we have each other to lean on and depend on.

I know that we can't stick together forever. She needs a home. She needs stability. I'm hoping I found it for her, but…

"Emma? It's…ummm…she said it's suppertime."

Emma sighed and closed her notebook. She stood up and stretched, trying to smile at Tori. She sighed, realizing by the frown on the other girl's face, that she'd failed miserably. "How's the queasiness?"

Tory smiled lightly. "Better. She gave me some sort of tea that tasted really nasty…so bad I nearly puked. But once I got about half of it down, my nausea was nearly gone, and now I'm starved."

"Good. Cause I'm guessing he won't be happy with us if we don't eat something…especially you."

Dear Emma,

Doc Evans gave me the all clear! I'll be out of here by next week! I can't wait. Isn't that bizarre? Just when I thought this was the best place for me…well, I guess it's not so unusual that I'd be wrong, huh? I've been wrong about a lot of things lately…people especially.

"Whatchya' writin'?" a familiar voice said as she plopped next to him on the bed. He tried to scoot the letter away, but it was too late. Shanna's face drained of all color.

"Oh! I…you still write to her?"

Sean shrugged. "Sometimes I do. When I need to clear my head, you know."

Shanna nodded. "But…but…when were you planning on telling me you were leaving?"

Sean sighed. "Shanna…it's not like-"

Her face contorted in anger. "So, what? You write a letter to your little girlfriend, and all of a sudden I'm Shanna again!"

Sean cleared his throat. He stared at her for a moment before shoving himself off the bed and turning to look at her. "Look…Shanna…you and I both knew that this…this…whatever the hell it is…or was…it wasn't gonna' be a permanent situation."

Shanna glared at him. "I'm going to tell Nurse Mitchell about what's going on with us! How do you think he'll feel when he-"

Sean shrugged. "Go right the hell ahead, Shan! I don't care! I'm over this…over you! You're nuts! I thought you were cool…but you're just a psycho, and one psycho in a lifetime is more than enough! The last one nearly got people killed!"

He turned and stalked out of the room.

Emma followed Tory into the small, but clean kitchen. Tory smiled nervously and sat down. Emma sighed and looked at the man who was sitting across from her. She stood defiantly as his eyes swept over her…for nearly the hundredth time since the girls' arrival. Finally, his eyes caught hers and held. Hazel eyes clashed with brown for a moment, before finally blinking, showing his submission. He sighed and nodded for her to sit. She studied him for a moment silently, not sure if she wanted to give in or run screaming from the apartment. When his eyes narrowed, she stood a little straighter, her defiance returning.

"Well, are you going to sit down…or do you plan on standing there like an idiot all day and watch us eat?" he asked grouchily.

Emma's temper flared. "Haven't decided yet," she said, her voice dripping with challenge. "I may just stand here all fu…errr…friggin' night."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Emma. Stand there and watch the rest of us eat. I don't give a damn," he grumbled as he smeared butter over a slice of garlic bread. He tossed it expertly on her plate.

Emma took a deep breath as the older woman entered the room carrying a large pot of spaghetti. "It's OK," the woman said with a bright smile, happy to finally have someone to dote on. "You can sit there."

Emma heaved a deep sigh and sat down. "So…ummm…"

The man sighed and buttered his own bread. "So…what brings you all the way out here? Last I heard, you were busy breaking hearts in Toronto."

She stared at him blankly. "What the hell are you talking about, Cameron?" Emma hissed.

Tracker just shrugged. "Everything…nothing. It doesn't matter."

Emma's fury got the better of her. Her fist slammed the table, making the plates rattle and a glass of ice water spill into Tracker's lap. He jumped up with a yelp as the cold liquid seeped down the legs of his jeans and into his skin. "What the-" he shouted in surprise before looking up to glare at her. "What's your problem?"

"You! You're my problem!" she hissed angrily.

"Well, I'm not the one who asked you to traipse your skinny little ass all the way out here! I'm not the one who told you to beg for help for you knocked up little friend!" Guilt rushed through him as Tory gasped and flinched as if slapped. "Sorry," he muttered to the small girl as he wiped furiously at his wet jeans. "OK, Emma Nelson…get off your high horse and tell me what your deal is."

She stood up. "Forget it. It's not important. I'm not important. Nothing."

She turned to walk out, but Tracker caught her arm. "Sit," he ordered. "Eat."

She snatched her arm free. "You're not my-"

"Sit!" he bellowed. Emma looked at him nervously before returning to her seat. "Now…I'm going to go change my pants, and I expect you to be sitting right in that seat when I get back." Emma looked ready to protest, but Tracker cut her off with the wave of his hand. "I'm warning you," he growled. "I'll be really pissed if my food gets cold cause I have to hunt your ass down in the street!"

His mother chuckled nervously. "Listen to him, Dear," she whispered as her eyes flickered back and forth between the two. "He means it. He's done it to Sean countless times!"

Emma sighed and nodded, picking up her fork and dropping her eyes. The fight was still there, but she knew that this was one battle she wouldn't win.

"Heard you're getting out next week," Kim said with a smile as she walked into the recreation room.

"Hey! My favorite person!" Sean said with a grin as he stood and pulled out a seat for her.

"So?" she asked excitedly, sitting in her chair. "Is it true?"

Sean nodded. "Yep. Figured this place couldn't handle much more of my ugly mug."

Kim laughed and shook her head. "You know…you're a great guy. It's gonna' be lonely here without you to keep Shanna in line."

"I know. Look…I'll write to you…a lot."

She smiled. "You'd better."

Sean's smile grew. "Try and stop me."

"So…how'd Shanna take the news?"

Before Sean could answer, a chipper female voice startled them both. "Oh, Shanna took it OK," Shanna answered as she sat on the other side of Sean and smiled. "Don't get me wrong. I'll miss the big lug, but he promised to write everyday…like a best friend should."

The other two gaped at her in shock, neither believing what they'd just heard.

"So…" Kim started suspiciously. "You don't mind Sean leaving"

Shanna's brow arched as she turned to Kim, a glimmer of challenge in her eyes. "The real question is…how do you feel about it?"

Kim frowned at her. "I…I'm going to miss him, Shanna. So?"

Shanna nodded and glared. "Thought so…"

Sean sighed. "Uhhh…Ladies? I'm still here…"

Tracker reentered the kitchen and sat down, once again across from Emma. He frowned at her stringy, oily looking hair. The untrained eye might consider it nothing more than a few days on a train without the chance to do much more than 'sponge bathe' in the train station bathrooms, but Tracker saw something else. He saw her pale face. He studied her sunk in eyes and the way her hand shook, rattling the fork in her small hand against the plate as she tried to twirl a mouthful of spaghetti onto the metal tines. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he caught a glimpse of the long, red, puffy, jagged scars running along her wrists. Something in his gut tightened as he realized that she'd meant business by the direction of the cuts.

"When?"

Emma jumped nervously, her utensil dropping from her hand and bouncing from the table to the floor. She sighed and leaned down to pick it up. "Wh-When what?" she asked nervously. 'He can't possibly realize I'm an addict! No way!' her mind screeched.

His eyes dropped pointedly to her wrists, making her self conscious as she pulled down the sleeves of her sweatshirt to cover them. He sighed again. "It's not a hard question, Emma. How long…since…you know…you tried…"

"A while, OK? That's all you need to know."

He frowned at her. "That's not really an answer. So…I know you didn't have them back when you were dating Sean…"

Emma's brow arched. "Really? You noticed?" she asked with a smirk. "A little old to be checking out your teen brother's girls, aren't you?"

His eyebrows shot up as he felt the color rise in his cheeks. "Excuse me?"

Emma sighed and sat back hard. "Nothing."

Sean packed and unpacked his bag several times. "Just a few more days," he mumbled to himself as he packed his bag for the fifth time. "I can handle this for a few more days."

"You know…talking to yourself will only add to your time here."

Sean started a bit at the sound of another voice. He looked up with a smile. "Hey! What's up, Whoopy?"

Charlie smirked and sat down on the bed. "Heard you were checkin' out, and I just wanted to see it for myself that it was true…you know…rumors and all."

Sean nodded as he refolded a tee shirt. "Yeah…rumors. But hey! You know…this one's fact."

Charlie nodded. "Glad to hear it, Man. So…did they catch whoever trashed your room?"

Sean shook his head. "If they did, they never told me."

Charlie shrugged. "Sorry to hear that."

Sean shrugged back. "No big deal. I'll be out of here soon enough, and I won't have to worry about that kinda' crap anymore. Besides…it's just stuff."

Charlie nodded. "Yeah…stuff…not like a certain girl you left behind, right?"

Sean sighed and rolled his eyes. "Is there anyone in this place I didn't pour my heart out to?"

Charlie laughed and smacked him teasingly on the back. "Well…there is that new guy Roger…or Robert, or whatever…"

Sean stared blankly at the wall. "I'm pretty pathetic, huh?" he asked with a small, wistful smile.

Whoopy chuckled and patted his back again. "Oh, yeah, Bud. Pathetic."

Tracker watched as Emma and Tory cleared the dinner dishes. "You don't have to do that," he mumbled, though he didn't make a move to stop either girl.

Tory turned and smiled brightly. "Oh, it's nothing. I owe you one. You know…for letting me stay…well, until…until the little one's born…"

Tracker sighed and nodded. "It's OK. I figure you'll give Mom some company. She's been pretty lonely rambling around here lately."

Once the dishes were at the sink, Emma shooed Tory out of the room, hoping Tracker would follow, eager to finish their conversation. She sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to the soapy bubbles filling the sink as she realized he hadn't gone with the other girl.

He watched her for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. Emma's guard was up, and he knew it. One wrong word and she'd be bolting into the night. He sighed and twisted a shred of napkin between his fingers. If this were Toronto, an area she knew like the back of her hand, it would be one thing. But here…she knew nothing…no one except him. "Emma…I…" He sighed again. "What's the deal? What made you into this…this…"

Emma turned, her brow arched high. "Into this what? Freak? Demon spawn? Evil creature?"

He shook his head. "No. What made you into this broken, twisted mess? What in God's name would make you try to kill yourself?"

She turned away with shame. "You wouldn't understand."

"Was is Sean? The shooting? What?"

"Don't ask me that!" she whispered harshly as the tears stung her eyes.

"You come to my door with a pregnant teenager…looking like shit…God knows if what you're strung out on…and you don't want me to ask? Hell, Emma! Somebody should have asked you that a long time ago! Maybe you wouldn't be such a wreck!"

"I'm not a wreck! I'm…I'm…" tears spilled down her cheeks as she crumpled to the floor. "I'm not! I'm…I'm just not!"

Tracker hurried over and pulled her into his arms. "Just tell me what's going on! Is it because you miss Sean?"

She shook her head sharply. "No! I don't miss him at…at all," she moaned. Finally, her whole story poured out as he held her tightly. "And I just miss him dammit! I hate him! Why'd he leave and turn my life to shit?"