Disclaimer; I own nothing.
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Rating: R, though for later chapters
A/N: Thanks guys for all the review unfortunately I can't answer your question because I would be giving away way too much info. But I can tell you this I have not introduce Riku and Sora to each other as of yet. Well enjoy the story oh and as far as the medical side of the fic it's all made up, I hope it sounds credible enough though.
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Sora had not been real. Their adventures had been a lie. An imaginary world his mind had created in order to help him cope with the trauma of his coma. At least that was what Riku had been told over and over again.
It had been three months since he had first opened his eyes and asked for the wareabouts of Sora. A boy they now told him didn't exist. At first he had been extremely confused. His mother he had not recognized, but in a way he had. He had seen her and had known who she was but not immediately.
The doctors because there were many looking into his 'case' as they liked to call it, they had been worried he had developed amnesia. Though that hadn't lasted long. By the end of the week Riku had been able to remember his mother and father and with that came chain long memories he had briefly just forgotten. His parents had been relieved but only for a short while.
Two weeks had passed after he woke up when again he had asked for Sora. Two weeks after that the doctors had him seeing therapists. The best in the world they said and they would all tell him the same thing during their sessions. It was during one of his sessions with one of his first therapist that Riku would be told, Sora was not and had never been real.
That was were Riku currently found himself in the sitting area of his latest therapist, waiting for his session to begin. Dr. Yeo was his current shirnk who insisted he be called by his first name Hiro. In two months Riku had gone through five therapist and this one he was sure would be no different.
They were all the same, they started off slow talking to him about his family and friends and how he was coping. When they were satisfied or bored as Riku liked to think, they began questioning him about his accident.
His accident was the only part Riku couldn't remember. The day before the accident he could remember, the hour before the accident he could remember, but when asked what had happened, his mind drew a blank. In a way it was frustrating, he remembered getting out of bed, waking up late remembered wanting to cut classes, remembered walking no more like dragging himself to school and than nothing. It was like watching a movie which had a big part blanked out and no matter what he did he couldn't see the end couldn't see what happened next. It was the most frustrating thing in the world, knowing something came next and being unable to see what.
After the shrinks got tired of poking around in his head trying to look for the lost fragment of that day, they moved on to his comatose state. Riku had no problem talking to them about Sora and Kingdom Hearts and the Heartless, he wanted to tell them what had happened. At least those parts weren't blank. That was a memory he could easily pull up in his mind.
It was only when they started to suggest Sora was not real that Riku refused to speak any further. He just plain out refused to talk, he didn't acknowledge their presence, pretended not to listen he just ignored them. They would get dismissed from his 'case' and send in another. Today was Dr Yeo a.k.a Hiro.
Riku could tell Dr. Yeo would soon be joining the rejected shrink bin. The doctor had already question him on everything except the accident and there wasn't much else he could possibly want to know so Riku assumed the subject of the accident and Sora was today's priority.
"Riku Dr. Yeo is ready for you"
Riku looked up from the magazine he had been reading, it was amazing how much he had missed in a year when the receptionist Kara, Kayla something, called him. He placed the magazine in the magazine rack by his feet and stood up. His mother who had been sitting next to him, touched his hand briefly giving him a reassuring smile before going back to her book.
The girl smiled at him as he walked passed her, he flashed her a cheeky grin, before quickly reading her name tag, Mina? Well he had been way off.
"Hey Mina"
She nodded to him in greeting and he walked through the red oak door to his session. The office was not out of the ordinary it was actually beautiful, with it's large book cases holding volumes he was sure Dr. Yeo didn't even use or know were there. The carpet was a deep scarlet color almost violet the windows were large letting enough sunlight come through that if Dr. Yeo wished he could read with the lights off.
Dr. Yeo sat behind his red wood desk leafing thought some notes. Unlike the office the doctor was not ordinary at all not like all his other therapists. They would usually be ready when he entered their office waiting behind their desk with their hands neatly folded giving him a very unrealistic and overly rehearsed smile, he was sure was suppose to be friendly and welcoming, when in reality was just creepy and annoying. No one could be happy all the time.
"Good morning Riku. How do you find the day this fine morning?"
The doctor asked not looking up form his notes. Riku shrugged off the green sweatshirt he was wearing and tossed it on a near by chair, making himself comfortable laying on creamy brown sofa.
"The day's fine. People suck but the days glorious."
A chuckle was all he received in response. Dr Yeo finally looked up from his notes and over at Riku.
"That sounds like something my son would say"
Very unorthodox doctor indeed, the other shrinks had never spoken to him about their personal life. It had always been about him, him, him. It was a little too much some times. It was a welcome change to know he was talking to someone real, to someone who had a life outside of trying to pry into his. Even though Riku knew this was just another way to get him to open up.
"So what do you want to talk about today? Any new memories?"
Though he had gotten most of his memories back there were still some blanks. His parents had been great helping him remember little things, by looking through photo albums, home movies and telling him stories. It had also been a great way to get them to sort of break the ice and re-establish the relationship they had once had. However some things still didn't make much sense to Riku and thus adding another reason to visits the shrinks.
"Umm. Well there was this one I had yesterday, when I was looking at my mother put some flowers in a vase and it started leaking. I had a flash of me kicking it on accident while trying to show off to someone can't remember who, a move I had learned in my Karate class. Anyway she didn't know I was the one who broke it and just glued it back together. For some reason I don't think I ever meant to tell her."
Dr. Yeo smiled and moved to a chair closer to Riku taking out a pen and a clipboard.
"Alright lets go with that. Who was this person with you? Can you see their face? A girl a boy?"
Riku hmmed and closed his eyes thinking back to that day.
"It's a boy he's wearing what I'm wearing a Gi(1) I think we just got back from Karate class"
"How old are you?"
"Fourteen it's a few months before my accident"
That was something he could tell his other psychiatrists were bother by, the way he said 'accident' like it was no big deal. But not Hiro, or perhaps it did bother him and he was just better at hiding it then the others.
"And what does he look...."
"Tidus!"
Riku shouted before Dr Yeo could ask anything else. Remembering something was always like that. He started thinking of the memory concentrating on it and just like the flash of a camera it was all there. Names, places dates everything, it was a feeling of great relief. Like turning the page of a book and finding out the end.
"Tidus your friend?"
"Yeah"
Riku said opening his eyes smiling to himself.
"I said hey Tidus check this out and did a backwards kick meaning to turn but my elbow caught the vase and it fell"
The Dr. nodded satisfied.
"Anything else?"
Riku shook his head. Hiro shifted and took a deep breath and Riku knew it was coming. This was surely to be his last visit with Dr. Yeo who like to be called Hiro.
"Tell me about Sora and your adventures"
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath Riku began. He had told his story so many times he had already memorized it, pausing only briefly to take a breather or when he remembered something amusing Sora had done. After what seemed like no time at all he finished. Though he didn't tell Dr. Yeo of his last meeting with Sora when Sora told him it was time to go back and his own promise to Sora.
Instead he finished when Sora defeated Ansem and he had been locked inside of Kingdom Hearts. Dr Yeo was silent for a moment.
"Riku"
He began.
"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest"
Riku nodded, already knowing what the doctor was going to ask.
"How does your story sound to you?"
Scoffing Riku smirked placing his hands behind his head lacing his fingers together. He always loved that question.
"Like a far fetched fairy tale"
That was not the answer Dr. Yeo was hoping to hear. He was hoping to hear Riku being outraged and defend his reality and the credibility of his tale. Yet Riku acknowledged his own story was not real.
A nut case Riku was not at least not yet. Of course Riku knew better than anyone that the events he had in his head as memories of the past year were not real could not have been real. He had absolutely no problem admitting to that and when asked he was more than happy to agree to the stories unreal-ness.
The problem lay in Sora. Though Riku knew and acknowledged his adventures with Sora had not been real, he knew Sora had been real. No one understood and he was getting tired of explaining. Sora was real not because his mind made him real like they liked to tell him. Sora was real because he simply was.
There was no way in hell or in any other place for that matter he could have made up someone like Sora. The shrinks however refused to believe him. Frankly he couldn't blame them after all how could they understand if they didn't feel what he felt.
The only reason Riku knew beyond any doubt Sora was real was because he felt it. He couldn't describe it and didn't want to, it was something him and Sora shared. No one else could ever understand.
"So you admit your adventures weren't real?"
"I never said they were"
Dr Yeo nodded clearly perplexed. If Riku admitted his adventures were not real than...
"And Sora..."
Riku sung his legs over the sofa coming to a sitting position.
"Sora's real"
He stated simply.
"Perhaps he is"
Riku opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find words. Out of all of the things he expected to hear that was definitely not one of them. He had gotten so used to always being on the defensive when it came to Sora he was not sure how to reply now that someone was willing to believe him.
Than again these people were psychologist, their job was to mess with his head and rearrange it in a way it made crystal clear sense to them. Telling himself not to get his hope too high he replied.
"What?"
Looking down at his notes Dr. Yeo nodded to himself.
"Its a suggestion. Tidus was in your adventures he's real he's your friend. Sephiroth and Squall are both people you have met, my theory is this Riku. Sora may be a person you have met and just can't remember, a very important person for what you have spoken of him."
He knew it was too much to hope for. Riku shook his head.
"No I already told you. I've never met Sora in my life..."
"Never. Met. Sora. In. Your. Life"
Dr. Yeo cut him off, throwing back his words at him, slowly punctuating word for word.. Riku glared at the doctor.
"I told you before Sora..."
And he stopped. That's when Riku realized it would always be like that. It would always be him against them, they would never stop. It would always be him protecting Sora from them and they would never stop.
These people were people who saw the truth in their books in what they held to be the truth. In that moment their books were telling them Riku was crazy for ever believing Sora was real. Their mission was to make him see the truth, see their truth.
No matter how hard he tried, how much he defended Sora. Unless they actually saw Sora he would be as non-existent as his adventures with him. Riku couldn't do that wouldn't do that. He was tired, tired of all the sessions. Tired of them denying Sora was real. Tired of trying to explain Sora was real.
So he needed to make a decision. Dr. Yeo was watching him, Riku could feel his eyes on him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes placing his hands over eyes.
I'm so sorry Sora. I swore I would find you but for now this is the only way.
Slowly he removed the hands from his face lowering them slowly. He looked straight ahead focusing on nothing in particular, making his gaze distant and unfocused.
"Sora..."
He whispered. He had to do it, had to say it there was no other way.
"What about Sora?"
Dr. Yeo asked gently trying to encourage the boy to say what he knew Riku needed to say.
"Sora... was not .."
It hurt so much to even think of it. Riku closed his eyes again resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands.
"Real"
It was a mumbled whispered and slowly he lifted his face from his hands swallowing hard. He felt something in him constrict painfully. He had just denied the existence of Sora. And suddenly he felt empty.
"Sora was not real"
Riku said it again, more slowly dragging every words through his clenched teeth. Not wanting to, but doing so anyway he looked over at Dr. Yeo. Thankfully there was no glee in his eyes no triumph, just sympathy. The doctor didn't move.
"What made you realize this?"
For now he had to go along with this act, he had to pretend Sora was not real. Otherwise they would never leave him alone. One day he would find Sora like he had promise and he would show them, he was real. However at the moment all he could do was play along, with the charade he had started.
"He couldn't have been. I've never met him in my life. Only, only when I was in my coma. So that means he's as real as our adventures were. Which were only in my mind"
Setting his notes aside Dr Yeo nodded slowly.
"Riku I believe to you Sora is very real, he was your only companion for the past year. In your head for much longer. It's difficult for you to accept he is not real, but accepting is the first step in a long choreographed dance. But don't worry it only gets easier from here"
Riku could only nod as he stared blindly ahead of him. Having denied Sora was real he felt so empty, and he knew the only way to ever feel normal again was if he found Sora. Riku didn't notice when Dr Yeo stood up and moved towards the door.
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Out in the waiting room a cell phone rang through the silent room. Mrs. Meneke quickly pulled out her cell phone and answered silencing the noise of the ringing.
"Hello"
Her faced change from a pleasant one to one of complete discontent as she listen to the man on the other side of the phone.
"Listen Dr Bret my husband and I have already told you more than once we don't.."
"Yes of course, but Mrs. Meneke you must understand. Your son is a scientific miracle. He was able to keep his brain not only alive but active. And his brain waves didn't appear to change at all. We only wish to run a few test, if we could just understand how your son made that possible than other coma patients..."
Mrs. Meneke clenched her hand tightly around the cell phone.
"Dr Bret We are very grateful for everything you have done to help our son. But I will only say this one more time. My son is not your scientific experiment. He has been through enough he is still going through a lot. He doesn't need this. We just got our son back and we intent to keep it that way. And if you ever try to contact my family again you will regret it"
With a push of a button the line went dead. Mrs. Meneke stared at the phone in her hand for a few second. Riku was not some piece of science to be poked at and examined. She would be damned if she put Riku through more trauma then he was already in.
So lost in her thoughts she was she didn't hear the door to Dr Yeo's office open. Only when she heard her name did she snap out of her thoughts and turn to see Dr Yeo standing by the door. Calling her to come in.
She was a bit confused neither her nor her husband had ever been allowed to sit in Riku's sessions. As she came closer the doctor stepped aside to let her in his office.
There she saw Riku sitting on a couch with a distant look is his eyes. It almost seemed as if he were lost. She turned to Dr Yeo wanting an explanation.
"We've had a break through"
Mrs Meneke sighed in relief and moved closer to her son. Slowly she sat down next to him, hugging him around the shoulders. Riku didn't respond.
"Sora was not real"
Oh God he had said it again and it hurt so much. Again he buried his face in his hands he was briefly aware of his mother patting his back mumbling what he assumed were soothing words to him. None of that matter.
Riku felt disgusted with himself, he had given in. He had done what they wanted him to do. But it was worth it, it had to be. It didn't matter how much he said it, in fact he would say it over and over as much as they wanted to hear. It would never change what he felt.
With his mother holding him. He concentrated hard on Sora, bringing his smiling face to his mind. And he saw him just as he remembered messy hair bright blue eyes, and that smile that always warmed his heart. With Sora's image so clear in his mind he spoke to him.
I promise Sora no matter how long it takes I'll find you. I'LL FIND YOU!
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... find you
A broken thought entered his mind. Blue eyes snapped opened in shock his concentration broke as did the glass levitating in front of him.
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(1) A Gi is a martial arts uniform
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Cardel: Man that was a weird chapter I loved it. Are you guys confused yet?
Jin: I thought you said this story scared you.
Cardel: Yeah it does, this is the first story I've ever posted that I don't know the end to yet.
Jin: Aww poor you
Demak: Ohh this is sad I want to get them together already.
Cardel: Nope I might not know the end to this story yet but for now we're gonna make them suffer.
Demak: Your so mean to Riku-chan.
Jin: Yeah get over it.
Cardel: Okay readers thanks for all the reviews and this story is going to get weirder (winks)
Demak: So don't forget to review
Cardel: Oh and thanks for asking about songs and dreams I should have an update soon.