Dreams and Desires By Troubled Tazzy
A/N - Hi everybody, Wow it has been to long, I'm so sorry to you all. I'm a bad person I know, because I hate it when people just leave their story for a long period of time and just never come back to it. But I have done the most horrible thing ever I left you all for a long period of time on a CLIFF HANGER, how rude of me, slaps hand
But anyway it is good to be back so please like always before Enjoy :)
Chapter 27:
"Could James have been blackmailed?" was the question Lily could only think about throughout the time she spent in the hospital wing. Feeling her heart breaking as she thought through the facts she had learned. Her eyes filling up with tears whenever James came in and told her the happenings of each day.
Two months ended up passing and Lily still felt limp, only getting the result of moving her toes; which Madam Cunnings had said was a good sign. A few more days went by and the results got better, as Lily was now able to move her whole upper body it was a slow and painful process but Lily managed to get through it. James visited her everyday, sitting by her side, telling her stories of what happened that day, but also filling her in about the homework they all were getting for their exams.
"She has improved immensely Professor," Madam Cunnings told Dumbledore as he sat in an armchair next to Lily's bed.
"She can sit up all by herself now," Madam Cunnings continued excitedly.
"Thank you Abigail, may I have a quiet word with Lily please," Dumbledore asked as he smiled up at Madam Cunnings.
"Oh, yes you may," Madam Cunnings replied rather hurt but walked swiftly into her office closing the door quietly.
Dumbledore looked back at Lily smiling. Lily only stared back, wondering to herself if something was wrong.
"It pleases me to see how much you have recovered," Dumbledore started, but what seemed to be a small crack in his voice.
"The only dilemma is of your exams at the end of the term, I know you are getting better, but we won't know if you will be yourself by then, and you have missed out on to much work, but I have faith in you that you will get better, but the teachers want me to plan ahead, so what I had in mind was for you to repeat the year, so instead of you graduating you will come back next semester with your fellow students that are below you," Dumbledore explained when he needn't had to as Lily understood what he wanted her to do.
"I know this will be hard on you, starting afresh and leaving the ones that care about you," Dumbledore continued quickly as he saw the tears reach Lily's eyes.
"But I know it is for the best for you Lily, you have to understand that, if I could have postponed the exams I would of, because I know you are capable, but I feel this is the right thing to do," Dumbledore cut shortly before standing up and saying his goodbye before leaving the room.
Lily shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Why has my life suddenly come crashing down? Everything had been perfect before she had gotten involved with James, why can't it go back to how it was, of him ignoring me and of me studying my butt of each day?" Lily thought to herself, before being disturbed with James swinging himself in a chair next to her.
"Hi Lily," James said cautiously; before like everyday, reaching out to hold Lily's hand. Gasping slightly he smiled as her hand did not move away and he held onto it entangling his fingers in hers and stroking her thumb with his.
Lily looked down at her hand but said nothing. She had not spoken to James since she had been in the hospital wing and has gotten used to the silence of her own voice. James looked up as Lily looked down at their hands Lily glanced up for a moment and turned away.
James smiled again, and started his usual talk which usually contained about how he and Sirius ended up in detention with McGonagal because they had put a skunk in her draw, or a tack on her chair (old one), or even how they had switched shampoo's and made her hair turn purple for the day. Lily had always held her laughter inside for James could always make her laugh, even in a crisis situation that they are now in, for Lily could still feel the cold shudders go up her spine when she thought of that one question that had haunted her throughout the time in which she had been in the Hospital Wing, but she pushed it aside, she knew it would be impossible, she was only placing the first person that came into her head in the murders spot, but as she was thinking about this she felt words come out of her mouth with out any control.
"Did you kill my real parents James?"
James had been in the middle of a sentence, when he heard her speak, he could feel the happiness in him as she had finally spoken but began to go cold and angry at the question she had asked him. Lily realized what she had said, which made her turn to him to hear the answer, he stared back at her flames in his eyes making Lily feel suddenly scared. She let go of his hand and he abruptly stood up, grabbing onto the chair he had been sitting on he lifted it up and threw it across the room, hitting a window that smashed into many pieces. Lily felt herself gasp, as she had never seen James lose control before.
"WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" James screamed at her, he saw the fear in her eyes but he had lost control he could not stop.
"WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST DOES NOT CONCERN US IN THE PRESENT, I DID A JOB AND I COMPLETED IT, IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT, JUST LET IT GO," James said before he stormed out of the hospital, smashing the glass door behind him.
Madam Cunnings came out in a rush asking Lily what happened, but Lily could not speak, she was shaking from head to foot, remembering how his eyes had flamed, and of how his words shook her even more.
"I DID A JOB AND I COMPLETED IT,"
X X X X X
James felt his body tingle as the anger finally left his body; slowly coming to a halt he leaned on a wall and slid down it puffing.
"What have I done?" James whispered to himself as he ran his hands through his hair, waiting for an answer, waiting for something; but nothing happened he was left in the corridor alone and in the darkness.
James didn't see Lily again until 3 days later in which Lily was released with a full recovery. She had been walking down one of the corridors in which James had just entered; crossing paths they both stared at each other, but just as James had stopped to talk to her, Lily picked up her pace and left him standing there feeling alone even though a sea of people was all around him.
James started to feel himself go madly insane, everywhere he turned she was there and all he could think about was her; Lily haunted him in his sleep, nightmares in which he felt Lily's hatred rip him to shreds. Waking up in sweat each morning as the nightmares became worse each night. Until finally on the seventh day of his nightmare scenario James finally came to a conclusion, he had to tell Lily the truth.
Working up a plan he managed to get Sirius and Remus to help him, the plan was easy; Remus and Sirius would simply start a conversation about a new class of Ancient Runes that was going to start at midnight on Thursday night in the Tallest Tower; and if James didn't know Lily he knew she wouldn't be able to resist coming to a new class.
The plan took form that Thursday afternoon, where Sirius and Remus entered the library and found Lily down the far back reading a book entitled, "1001 Different Ways To Learn Quicker Then Anyone Else". Sirius looked at the book then back at Remus, but Remus only shrugged. Sirius shrugged also and walked casually down the back near to where Lily sat; Lily quickly glanced up then back down to her book. Remus following close behind stared at Lily for a moment then stared back forward as they came to a stop a few shelves away from where Lily sat. Sirius picked up a book casually and sat at a desk that was in clear view of where Lily sat. Sirius coughed loudly and flicked through some pages; whilst Remus picked up a book also and sat with Sirius flicking through pages also.
Sirius coughed again and they began.
"What class did you say you were taking tonight Remus?" Sirius began a bit to loudly.
"Ancient Runes, we got told before that it will be starting at midnight tonight in the Tallest Tower," Remus answered casually, making Sirius frown as he felt he didn't talk loud enough.
"Where did you say it was?" Sirius said louder then before.
"In the Tallest Tower," Remus replied rather annoyed at having to repeat himself.
"At what time," Sirius boomed.
"Midnight, don't you listen?" Remus yelled back, but before anymore was said the librarian came and shooed them out, and banned them from the library for the rest of the week.
"Do you think she heard us?" Sirius asked as he and Remus made their way back to the common room to find James.
"I think she heard you clearly," Remus replied through gritted teeth as they climbed the stairs.
"Well fingers crossed she got the full message then," Sirius laughed as they entered through the portrait.
Ancient Runes
Tonight, Midnight
Tallest Tower
Lily managed to scribble down as she watched the scenario from where she sat at the library.
"Well I guess it won't hurt taking an after school hours course, I got nothing to lose," Lily told herself as she packed up her things and left the library and made her way also to the common room.
"Besides, it's not like I'll be by myself Remus will be there also, he might even give me pointers for my work studies," Lily thought also as she went through all the positive and negative options on her taking this class.
"It will also help me forget about James, I have to put all this behind me," Lily told herself, like she did each day, for that is what keeps her going, by telling herself that it wasn't James who had done it, and that on that last day he visited her in the hospital wing she had been hearing things; thinking he had said "I DID A JOB AND I COMPLETED IT" when he could have said something completely different.
So the only option Lily could think of was to go back to how it was, to how everything had been before this mess started with James. To when she knew what she wanted in life, and to when she never had butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him or when her knees melted as he smiled. She had to go back to when her heart never beated rapidly when she thought of him and to when she could remember her dreams and thoughts were not of him, to when she had been focused and alone.
A/N – So what did you all think, I know it is short but I wanted to get it up ASAP and I thought it sounded good to leave it there as it would have been weird going into the next bit and cutting it off half way and also I didn't want you to leave it on a cliff hanger again. So that was nice of me :)
But please review and tell me what you think; plus I just wanted to say that the only reason I cut down Lily's recovery period was of good reason as I have planned ahead and wanted to put a special event into one of the months :) so if you feel weird about it you'll understand now. Cause I thought I'd explain now so your all not sitting there going doesn't it take longer then just a few weeks for that kind of thing to recover from :) LOL so now you understand.
Like usual please review, even though I don't deserve them :(
Love Always Troubled Tazzy