Dude, thanks so much for all the responses I got!

I can't believe so many people like this story!

Look at that...64 reviews...shit.

That's a lot.

Even though this story still has around 5 or so chapters left, I feel as if I need to thank you all for EVERYTHING.

All of your support has been wondrous. Spectacular. Phenomenal.

I can't believe that I could get this many reviews.

I'm somewhat amazed. I didn't have nearly as much confidence when I started this story as I do now.

Thank you guys so much...it's all because of you. (at least, you reviewers you.)

ATTENTION MYSPACE USERS: Go to www . myspace . com / kernkraft40012345. Without the spaces, of course. And listen to Zombie Nation Remix. Isn't techno great? Hee hee.

Disclaimer:Guess what? You're not going to believe this! I OWN SOUTH PARK! Just like I own iPod/iTunes/iWhatever, eHarmony, and the whole world's Jewish population. Yes yes, you aren't going to believe this, but they are all my slaves. Slaves, I say!

Chapter 11 - Are We In Hungaria Yet?

Pip was most uncomfortable in the brown suitcase. Sure, Pip wasn't an exceedingly large guy, being only around 5'2" or 5'3", but that didn't mean that he wasn't incredibly cramped and muggy in Sarah's baggage. Besides the fact that his limbs were bent in a way that God had certainly not intended humans to bend, it was just about impossible to breathe, and smelled strongly of perfume and girlish shampoos. He wished he'd left a small hole open with the zipper when he had originally gotten in, but he had not wanted any chance of being found by Sarah, who would definitely have kicked him out before they even left the house. Pip debated with himself whether or not to unzip the trunk just a tiny bit, for some fresh air.

Oh, they'll most certainly hear me, Pip thought. But, he felt that he'd rather get caught than suffocate to death. So, he elected to unzip the bag about an inch. Pip instantly put his head somewhere near the hole and gulped in a large breath of semi-fresh-in-the-trunk-of-the-car air. It felt like what Heaven most certainly felt like, to gulp up non-perfume scented air. He waited in anxiety for a minute, however, wanting to know if he'd been heard. He then realized that, being in the trunk, it was most likely they wouldn't hear and/or notice him just barely unzipping the suitcase.

Pip sat back against a bundle of clothes and made himself as comfortable as he possibly could. The trunk was just large enough that he could sit with his knees bent in a slightly awkward position, under his body like a pretzel. He scooched around for a minute, and finally got himself into a position where he could sit in half-contentment.

And then the worries started kicking in.

What the deuce am I going to do when they find me? Pip thought. For, they most certainly will find me. I'm in one of Sarah's trunks, there's no way she won't open it! Pip wondered just how much he'd get beaten up for this atrocity. For this was an atrocious atrocity indeed. Sarah would most likely kill him, or worse. Sarah could do much worse than killing, and though Pip had not yet experienced her full wrath, he was quite sure he didn't want to. And Damien will be quite indignant, I know! I wish I could tell them to take me back so they wouldn't be mad at me, but we've been driving for a fairly long while, and they wouldn't want to drive me back...they might just leave me on the side of the street! I wouldn't put it past Sarah...

Pip let his worries overtake him after that, and started praying to God for them to not be too awfully irritated with him.

Pip found that he could hear whatever was going on in the car from where the suitcase had been placed. He didn't know quite where he was, but it seemed he was near Sarah's side of the back seat, because he could hear her the most. And the loudest. Pip cursed them for putting the bags near Sarah for this reason, since she made some very annoying comments indeed, and he could hear all her praise and love for Damien, only he couldn't really hear Damien rebutt her.

"Wow, it's so nice here!" he heard Sarah comment. He did not hear what anyone said in reply, if anyone said anything.

"You know what makes this whole trip even better, Damien?" Sarah asked. Pip heard a very muffled "what?" from Damien. "The fact that Pip isn't here!"

Pip couldn't hear if Damien had said anything in his defense, but Pip was pretty sure he hadn't. Pip felt something that felt like a very large ice cube settle somewhere in his abdominal regions. He was going to ruin the trip just by being here! I shouldn't have come, this was a stupid idea, I don't even want to meet Damien's family! I'm just going to ruin everything, and make everyone so angry!

The thought suddenly occured to Pip that if Damien had any family they'd most certainly not be going anywhere but Heaven or Hell. Pip wondered whether they were really going to a family reunion. And, if they were traveling out of the country, we would have gone to Denver, which is much closer than this, so I'm almost positive that we aren't going to Hungaria - I mean Hungary - because, if we were, we'd have gone to the airport in Denver. So...we're going somewhere in America...

Pip wondered if perhaps he was underestimating the very Godly family he was traveling with.

Four more hours passed in this particular fashion: Pip being very hungry and thirsty and warm and having to go to the bathroom. Pip blanched, realizing that he would have to go soon, and he didn't know when he'd get the chance. He started to panic, as he knew very well how Sarah would get if he pissed all over her stuff.

And then they stopped.

"Why the hell are we at a gas station?" Sarah asked haughtily.

"Because we need to get gas," Damien replied. When the car wasn't moving, Pip could hear just about everything. He heard Satan and John darling-ing each other, and Damien and Sarah get out of the car (with Sarah giving Damien a few darlings of her own). Soon, Satan and John were both out of the car as well. Pip was almost positive that those were the only people who had been in the car. Satan said something about getting gas after he "got rid of this dreadful stomach ache!" They both walked away, presumably, to the restrooms.

Now is my chance, Pip thought. If this car was a newer car, then it'd have a latch somewhere on the inside of the trunk to open it from the inside. Pip unzipped the bag and felt around the dark area. "Aha!" He found the latch, and opened the trunk. The other car, which Jesus, Mary, and Peter, had been in, was vacant, as well as the one Pip was in. It seemed everyone was inside the store either using the restroom or buying food.

Pip made a run for the nearest grass.

He unzipped his pants.

He looked back over his shoulder, and his eyes bulged, for Sarah was at the counter!

He peed faster.

He zipped his pants back up.

He ran as fast as he possibly could back to the car. Everything was fine, he was going to make it back to the trunk, he wasn't going to be seen...

And Pip realized he'd shut the trunk, and that it'd locked itself, like most trunks did when they were shut.

"Oh fuck!" Pip screeched (a most out of character thing for him to screech indeed), and made a run for the front door, where he could pop the trunk from the little latch on the floor. He glanced up at Sarah at the counter, and panicked more, seeing her get change handed back to her. He made for the trunk, which was now open, and jumped inside, shutting the lid. He heard Sarah get back in the car, so he obviously hadn't been seen by her, and she had made no move to investigate, which he knew she would've had she saw anything. I MADE IT! He sighed with relief, for he knew he'd just barely escaped the mess that being seen would have caused. He fumbled around until he got back in the suitcase, and zipped it shut once more, only leaving a more considerable airhole this time.

Pip felt like the luckiest guy on the planet.

Around ten minutes after Pip's near-sighting, the family had set back out on the road. It felt like they had been driving for 49328 hours, and Pip was so beside himself with boredom and uncomfortable-ness that he was about to yell to Damien that he existed, even if it meant getting yelled at himself and possibly getting left on the side of the road. Pip had been just about to do that too, when fortunately, just as he was taking a breath to shout, the car came to a sudden stop. Pip knew it wasn't traffic, because the car had been turned off.

He heard the trunk open, and suddenly his suitcase was being dragged out! "Oof!" Pip whisper-yelled as he was thrown somewhat unceremoniously onto the ground. It was very quiet besides the idle chatter between the family, so Pip was mightily confused. They surely weren't already at the family reunion? They hadn't even really slowed down, like they had come across a town or anything. They had just stopped, as if on the shoulder of the freeway.

"Man, this is so cool!" Sarah said with a gleeful air to her voice.

"Oh, it's not going to be that fun. It's going to take a really long time," Damien said, pessimistic as ever.

"But we'll get to see the stars UP CLOSE!"

"We see the sun all the time." Damien sounded very sarcastic.

"But stars that AREN'T the sun, I mean!"

Pip wondered what in all seven hells they were talking of. What did Sarah mean by seeing the stars up close? The only way to do that would be to go into space, and surely they were not going into space for Damien's family reunion. If there was even a family reunion at all. Either way, Pip was still horribly confused about Sarah's star comment.

Pip felt himself being moved, and hefted up onto something. He decided that he'd probably been lifted onto one of those luggage carrier things.

"Man, I need Pip here just so that he can do all this work for me!" Sarah complained.

"Sarah, stop talking about Pip like he's your slave," Damien commented angrily.

"Oh, I don't force him to work for me. I just ask, and he doesn't object!"

"That's because Pip actually has a heart, unlike some people I know," Damien responded.

"Pip doesn't have a heart, he's just too weak to fight back because he's a lameass."

Pip felt ice run through his veins. It wasn't because Sarah was insulting him; it was cause she was telling the truth.

"Well, it makes sense. That's how he was brought up, by Mr. Mackey! Oh, you don't know Mr. Mackey, but this guy told Pip to be nice to everyone no matter how rude they were to him, and people are bitches and take advantage of his kindness. Kind of like you."

"I do NOT take advantage of him!" Sarah retorted, sounding very bitchy indeed.

"Yeah, you kind of do. Pip would do anything for anyone, and you repay him by yelling at him and hitting him all the time! You know, if you lived the kind of life he had, you'd have killed yourself long ago! Of course, you're kind of undead, but that isn't the point."

"Are you saying that Pip has a miserable life or something?"

"Duh! He has no family, he lived on the streets for 5 years, he has probably been beaten up thirty-some-odd times in his lifetime, and yet he still manages to believe that there is a good in everyone and tries to make himself the best he can be for everyone else! If that isn't strong, I don't know what is."

Oh, I've been beaten up more than thirty times...

Pip could almost hear Sarah roll her eyes. "Oh, save it Damien. If Pip were a strong person he'd have made some friends and stood up to his teachers and the bus driver and his foster parents, and you know what? Pip didn't do that! Okay? I bet we're going to go back to the house and it's going to be trashed because Pip will be too weak to tell the dumb high schoolers that they can't throw a party there!"

Pip felt tears welling up. She was telling the truth. He knew he wouldn't fight back if that situation were ever to occur. He could never stand up for himself, that was the way he'd been taught by Mr. Mackey, but now that he had long since realized Mr. Mackey was wrong, there was nothing he could do about it, for the damage was already done. It was like burning a pancake; sure, you turned the oven down when you realized it was burning, but turning the oven down didn't unburn the pancake. She's absolutely completely utterly positively right...

"Sarah, I'd shut up if I were you," Damien said, obviously not able to think of a correct defense for Pip. Damien thought it just as true as Sarah and Pip did.

Pip had felt himself be rolled up a ramp of some sort, though he didn't know why he'd have been rolled up a ramp. Perhaps he was being rolled onto a plane. Pip wondered if Damien and co. had some sort of a private jet or something, because there was no way they'd gotten on a normal flight, considering that there was absolutely no one but them; but, Pip could tell that they were flying. It was a feeling he'd felt once, coming to South Park from England after the whole Estella incident. However, this feeling was considerably less loud, and more like they were going straight up than lifting off in the fashion that a plane does.

Sarah's suitcases were deposited somewhere, in what Pip was sure was a cargo hold of some type. Pip wondered how long the flight was going to be, for he needed to use the bathroom again. And soon.

Pip waited in boredom for about 2 hours, he estimated. It must've been something around that much, give or take a half hour or so. He felt unnaturally queasy on this plane, though he remembered being absolutely fine on the flight from England. Perhaps in his teenage years he had acquired motion sickness.

Pip heard Sarah's voice then. It was yelling something about the moon looking huge. Pip didn't understand why she would be talking about the moon. Well, maybe it's nighttime, and the moon is very beautiful tonight, Pip reasoned with himself. Or maybe the moon just looks exceptionally beautiful from a plane. I have never seen the moon from a plane before.

It was only a few minutes later that Pip heard Sarah's voice again, and closer. She was saying something along the lines of "Damien, I need your help unpacking!" Pip was completely baffled. Why are they unpacking on a plane?? I can tell we're still moving! Pip came up with a reason for this, though. She is merely recruiting him to help her as soon as they get to...wherever it is that they're going. For they are surely not going to Hungaria, because that is not a country.

And then Pip heard a door open, and Sarah's voice became all the clearer. "Damien, just look at this place! It's so wonderful! I can't believe I actually get to live here!"

Pip was so horribly confused now.

"It's not that great, Sarah," Damien muttered. He sounded depressed. Like he had just lost one of his favorite items or something. This is all completely weird, I don't understand, we're still moving! Pip could not understand why you would live on a plane, for plane rides did not last more than a day. Maybe they were going underwater? Pip wondered. That seemed like the only other place they could've gone, although there was no ocean anywhere near Colorado, and they would've had to travel down through California just to get to the ocean. Besides, how do you see the moon from underwater? A fleeting thought passed through Pip's head that they were in space. But he completely dismissed that notion, because that was impossible, and there was absolutely no reason for Damien and co. to travel into space anyways.

"Oh, it is great! And I have such a great view from this room!" said Sarah. She sounded overly excited over the view from this room.

"Sarah, all the views are the same!"

"No, I have the coolest window." Pip concluded that he was in Sarah's room that she'd be staying in, and that in a minute she was going to start unpacking her stuff.

Oh crap.

He heard bags unzipping, and Sarah giving Damien specific orders as to where all of her stuff went. Pip heard shuffling around, and he tensed himself, for he knew, any minute now, he was going to be discovered. Dear God...I'm sorry that I've been so rebellious lately...I'm really sorry I snuck into this trunk to be with Damien and away from all those bullies! Please don't let Damien throw me out of the plane, or wherever it is we are, for I am dreadfully sorry and will do anything to make it up to him and Sarah and You and everyone! Pip kept his hands painfully folded, his nails biting into his opposite knuckles.

And then he heard the zip.

"What the hell?"

He'd been found.

Pip felt himself being grabbed by the ear and dragged out of the suitcase. The hand felt like it must be Sarah's, for it was delicate and soft. Although, Damien had soft fingers too, Pip remembered. He remembered quite fondly indeed. Pip shook the thoughts of Damien's wonderful fingers out of his head and opened his eyes. They came in contact with none other than Damien, who was across the room. Ok, so Sarah is holding me...by the ear...

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Damien yelled. He sounded quite angry. Pip flinched and stared down at a metallic floor.

"Yeah, Pip, what the hell? Why the fuck did you stow away in my bag?? Now my stuff is all contaminated!"

Pip wrenched himself away from Sarah's painful grip and stood upright on the floor. He rubbed at his ear. "I hate you," he muttered to Sarah.

"The feeling's mutual!" she screeched. And then she proceeded to throw a Bible at Pip's blonde head.

"OW!" Pip wished he'd just stayed at Damien's house. They were both so mad at him, as would the rest of the family. Pip stared at the ground, and then muttered softly, "I'm really sorry..."

"Why are you here?" Damien sounded a lot less angry this time.

"I...uh...just wanted to come, and..." Pip rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly. "Erm..."

Sarah grabbed Pip by the ear again and dragged him from the room. "You...you are the most annoying sinful creature I have ever had the misfortune to meet! Stay away from my room!"

She slammed the door shut.

Pip shrunk from the door, staring at it in utter dejection. This is the absolute stupidest thing I've ever done...I'll surely never be forgiven now...

A second later, the door opened, and Damien came out of the room. Pip backed up, fully expecting Damien to teach him a well needed lesson. In pain. "Hey, stop being so scared of me," said Damien in an exasperated way. "I'm not gonna hurt you or anything, Pip..."

Pip gulped and stepped a little closer, but then Damien grabbed his arm (not too roughly) and starting pulling him off down the hall. "Here, we'll go to my room, that'll be a little bit better than being in this hallway. I think you have some explaining to do."

Pip nodded and allowed himself to be dragged off by Damien. He noted when he passed by a window that the moon was rather large from where they were, and quite beautiful. Sarah had been speaking the truth. And he could see just about a million stars, it seemed. This was an interesting plane indeed.

The hall was curved in a circular fashion, and it seemed that Damien's room was on the complete opposite end of the circle hall than Sarah's. Pip felt great relief knowing that Sarah would have to walk this far just to bug Damien, had she ever wanted to. Which he was sure she would.

Pip passed by another window, and decided that the Earth looked very beautiful from this angle. It was truly a blue planet. Pip thought he saw a hurricane in the mess of clouds that covered the sphere. It was one of the most frightening and exhilariting things he'd ever seen, to be able to actually see the top of a hurricane. I truly live on the most beautiful landmark in the universe... Pip and Damien passed by the window, Pip mulling over the beauty of his planet.

And then Pip realized that he had just seen Earth. And that, for him to see it...

He couldn't be on it.

So...

A twist.

I hope you guys don't mind twists.

For this twist is important to the plot of the story.

I hope you guys don't mind actual plots instead of pointless fluff either.

Haha.

I know I sometimes feel like that.

But I'm going to try and not change the fluffy humor of the story too much...now there's just actual suspense.

Ima sorry.

Readers, and
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Or not so wondrous stuff said. Just any kind of stuff.