Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Pairing: Riku/Sora

Rating: R, though for later chapters

A/N/shakes head/ I have no idea, no clue, why this took me so long. So I apologize for another super long hiatus and the short length of this chapter. And thank all you lovely people for reviewing, I love you guys /blows kisses/

(0o0o0) equals scene change

/Ch 8/

Elated and in cloud nine Riku didn't hear his name being called, until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey."

Riku turned to the person who called his name and smiled.

"Hi guys how was class?" He asked cheerfully.

"Awesome." Squall replied without any enthusiasm. His hand fell away from Riku's shoulder. "Can we talk?"

Riku frowned, he didn't like how Squall's request had sounded more like a command, regardless he nodded. He had almost forgotten he had promised Squall that they would talk.

Together, with Tidus following reluctantly, they walked to Riku's room. Riku opened the door holding it open for Squall and Tidus. As Tidus passed through the door he shook his head sadly and gave Riku an apologetic smile and mouthed, "Sorry I tried," before stepping into the room.

Riku closed the door. Squall took to leaning against his desk and Tidus sat in the chair. Riku sighed and proceeded to plop down on his bed throwing an arm over his eyes, closing them.

For a long moment there was silence in the room, on one spoke. Riku frankly was feeling frustrated he knew what Squall wanted to discuss, Sora. Riku, however, didn't feel like discussing anything and therefore didn't feel like making Squall's conversation easy by starting it.

So Riku waited and to think only a few minutes before he had been so happy. It made him sad that his friends felt the need to discuss Sora with him. Squall was still silent Riku withdrew his arm from his face and turned his face to look directly at Squall.

Squall stared, Riku stared back and waited. He could wait forever if need be.

"Riku." Finally Squall spoke sounding inquisitive. " Who is Sora?"

With a sigh Riku swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stared at the floor, what did Squall want? What did his friend want him to say?

"Sora, as far as I know is Selphie's friend and he is a student aid to my psychology professor. And as far as I can tell a pleasant person to be around." Riku finished still not looking at Squall for fear his friend would see the anger this inquisition brought upon him.

"Is that all Sora is?" Squall asked his voice holding suspicion and perhaps even a little contempt for Sora.

"I don't know. Should there be more, Squall?" Riku asked finally meeting Squall's eyes.

Giving a small sigh, Squall shook his head slowly. "Riku I'm worried for you."

At that moment Riku felt a small explosion of anger flare inside his chest and suddenly he couldn't take what Squall was saying.

"Why? Why are you so worried? Is it really so wrong to want to have new friends?" Riku all but yelled, his jaw was tense, set in anger the bed covers held tightly in his clenched fist as he glared up at Squall.

Tidus watched the event unfolding in front of him with sick fascination. He watched as Squall flinched hearing Riku's tone of voice and Tidus knew this was not going to end well.

Squall now stood straight as if he were a soldier called to attention his back rigid his hands close to his sides opening and closing.

"Of course it's not," Squall said answering Riku's question. "But that's not really the point."

"Than what is?" Riku asked. He leaned back on his elbows giving Squall a fake un-amused smirk and waited for Squall to answer.

"The point is, Riku, a few weeks ago when you fainted you uttered one name, the same name you first uttered when you woke up from your coma, the same name of the person you realized wasn't real the same name of the person you had lunch with today, Sora."

Riku felt his breathing coming faster as he listen to Squall, he knew the assumption Squall was coming up with, and though similar thoughts had crossed his mind he wasn't ready to hear them spoken out loud. Especially if the assumption sounded like an accusation.

"Riku." Squall continued. " We know you told everyone, doctors, the psychiatrist, the psychologist, your parents, and us, that you didn't believe Sora was real. But now, as I often have wondered, if you ever truly believed that."

Riku felt panic rising , Squall was indeed heading down a path of thought he had no desire to follow. But Riku couldn't let his friends know the truth, he couldn't let them know that, yes he had never believed Sora was not real. And that Squall was in fact right in assuming Sora was more than what Riku had described a few minutes earlier.

Sora, Riku believed, was the boy from his memories the one from the adventures he had conjured up while in a comatose state. Sadly Riku couldn't tell that to Squall. The problem facing Riku was the fact he didn't need too tell Squall anything. Squall had hit the nail right on the head, which made Riku feel threatened. And when he felt cornered he got defensive.

"Squall I'm not sure I like what you're suggesting." Riku said slowly his tone gave off a warning.

"Look Riku, if you want to make new friends that's great, but if there is a different reason why you want to befriend Sora."

"Wait." Riku's voice rose and he shot up from his sitting position. "Do you honestly think I'm so pathetic that I would befriend anyone who's name is Sora because the name reminded me of a false memory?"

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. This was not how this was suppose to go. If Riku really had no ulterior reason for befriending Sora than why was be being so defensive?

"Riku that's not what I meant. I just want you to be sure of what you're doing."

"Rally because it sounds to me like you're trying to control what I do."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"No. What's ridiculous is the way you always try to control what I'm dong, how you're always second guessing me trying to find something wrong with everything I do. Trying to see if anything I say or do pertains to Sora and I'm sick of it. I need you to be my friend Squall not a controlling parent."

Squall stared at a fuming Riku a few feet away from him, he was unsure how to respond. It was true though Riku was certainly old enough to make his own decisions and he had always felt protective towards Riku, even more so after his accident. But his intention had never been to make Riku feel as if he was being controlled. Perhaps he was the one who needed to reflect on his thoughts and clear his head and stop loathing a figment of Riku's imagination.

"I see." Was all Squall whispered before he took his leave.

Tidus could not believe what had just unfolded before him. He was torn between going after Squall or staying with Riku. He wanted to go see if Squall was okay but first he had to give Riku a piece of his mind.

Riku was staring at the closed door feeling awful but also frustrated. He blinked as Tidus stood in front of him. At least Tidus didn't feel the same way Squall did.

"Riku I'm this close to yelling at you but I think there had been enough of that today."

"You agree with Squall?"

Tidus scoffed.

"Of course not, but I won't say I completely disagree. Regardless of what I feel you two were over the line with each other. Squall is just worried about you he hates seeing you hurt. You and I are the closest thing he has to brothers, his worry for you is genuine but you know Squall he's not the most eloquent person with words and his approach was wrong but his heart was in the right place."

Riku rolled his eyes. "Come on Tidus, worried about me making new friends?"

Tiuds merely shook his head. "Squall may not be the best when voicing his thoughts with words, but he's not an idiot and neither am I. Whatever it is that you want from Sora it's not just friendship. Squall can see that and he's worried that you will be hurt if you don't find in Sora what you're hoping is there. What your mind and memories remember to be there."

Unable to look at Tidus, for fear his friend would see how true his words rang inside of him, Riku turned away.

"What are you talking about?" Riku asked still feigning his feelings.

Tidus walked to Riku and slowly sank to his knees in front of his friend. "Riku, don't treat us like mindless idiots, we know you never truly gave up on the idea that Sora is real. The truth is we never cared that you thought Sora was real, we only cared that you were happy. What Squall failed, miserably, to convey was that he just hopes for Sora's sake and yours that you're not trying to replace a real person with the memory of one. It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be fair."

A silence stretched for what seemed hours, when in reality it was only a few moments. Finally Riku locked gazes with Tidus.

"I , I'm not." Riku whispered.

"Good." Tius said and ran a hand through his hair feeling not entirely convinced by what Riku had said. "I'm going to leave you now and go find Squall." Tidus stood. "And I suggest when the two of you decide to pull your heads out of your asses you talk this out."

Riku chuckled lightly. "Tidus," Tidus stopped with the door in his hand and turned to face Riku. "Thanks" Tidus nodded.

0o0o0

Once Tidus was gone, Riku flopped back on his bed. What had he done? He groaned, he had not meant to get so upset with Squall. Squall had, however, sounded so accusatory and those accusations brought back all the unpleasant memories of having to defend his memories and Sora from everyone.

Unfortunately his brain had, for a few moments, forgotten that Tidus and Squall were not everyone. His two best friends had been the only people who had never questioned his sanity and his memories. Sadly the damage was done and he could not erase the few moments with Squall. All he could do was apologize. Apologizing, however, was the furthest thought from his mind.

Riku's thoughts were going around and around the words Tidus had spoken a few minutes before. Tidus had said Squall was worried he was trying to replace a real person, the real person being in this case Sora, with the memory of one, the memory being the Sora he had claimed was just a figment of his imagination, the truth was he wasn't; today had proved that.

Earlier today, when he had been with Sora, talking with him, laughing he had not cared if Sora remembered him or if the Sora sitting in front of him was indeed the Sora from his mind. Sure there were similarities , but the fact remained, Sora was very real and a great person and it didn't matter if it was because of a hope and a memory that Riku had been initially drawn to him.

The Sora he had met and had lunch with was not being a replacement for a memory, Sora was very much his own person and the fact that he reminded Riku of his memories was no longer important. Nor was the fact that Sora looked exactly like the boy from his memories that small detail was a coincidence it had to be, there was no other explanation.

Tidus's words Riku took to heart though, he didn't want to subconsciously use Sora to replace his memories either. The Sora from his memories was still very real to him, real in the sense, that he had felt a real connection with Sora while he had been comatose. But now he was no longer in a coma and he had met a person who was so much like his memories it was as if he were dreaming all over again, but he wasn't.

Almost dejectedly, Riku realized he had a decision to make. He could let the Sora from his memories be that; just a memory and continue to obsess about his questionable existence. Or, and this second option made him feel empty, forget his memories forget everything he had ever thought to be real and get to know, the very real, Sora.

Kicking off his shoes Riku threw his hands over his eyes and just laid in quiet contemplation which lasted no longer than a full minute. Sitting up he donned his shoes back on. He needed fresh air, his room felt too claustrophobic.

Stepping out of his dorm building was sure to help, clear his head. Once outside Riku walked with no purpose no destination in mind. He wondered aimlessly not thinking about anything, or at least he tried not to think about anything. Riku scoffed to himself, when had he ever been able to put Sora out of his mind, it was useless to try now. When anything was in regards to Sora, Sora was ever present in his mind as he was now.

Riku decided it was time to face reality, no more wishing and wondering whether Sora was real or not. The Sora from his memories, he had to let go he had to let his memories rest. The fact was he liked Sora, the real Sora and it didn't matter to Riku why he looked exactly like the Sora from his memories maybe it was fate, destiny, Riku wasn't sure but he no longer cared.

The real Sora was an incredible person and Riku wanted to get to know him, regardless of what Squall thought he was not replacing the real Sora with a memory of one. No he could never do that, the Sora from his memories held a very special place in his heart and whether he ever found out what had happened while in his coma, the truth remained Sora was very real to him, but it was time to let his friend rest. It was time to move on, it was only fair to everyone both Sora's and himself included.

Riku sighed burying his hands in his pockets. He walked with his eyes to the ground spotting a bench he sat down with a heavy heart.

The decision was made he had to forget the other Sora. Things however were always easier said than done, even the thought of forgetting Sora brought a tightening feeling on his chest and he could feel a knot form in his throat. A sense of betrayal stole over his heart, Riku closed his eyes.

Had he not promised he would find Sora? Had he not sworn never to deny his existence? Was he in fact denying his existence by deciding to let his memories be memories? Suddenly Riku felt incredibly sad. Swallowing hard he opened his eyes and stood up. Deciding he had done enough thinking for a lifetime, he began walking back toward his dorm.

With every step Riku took he picked up speed until he all but broke into a run. Turning a sharp corner he came to a sudden stop as he collided with a body. Instead of stumbling back he reached forward to steady himself and the person he had bumped into.

"I'm sorry. Are you alright?" Riku apologized looking at the top of the girls head he had bumped into.

The girl had her eyes tightly shut but opened them slowly noticing she had not fallen to the floor.

"Yeah , I'm …" She began raising her face. Riku's eyes went wide and his arms tightened around the girls shoulders. It was Kairi or someone who looked exactly like her.

The girl had gone deadly still and was staring at Riku as if she had seen a ghost. Just as fast as the emotions had come they were gone and she broke away from Riku's hold taking a step back. She brought a hand to her mouth as if to keep herself from screaming.

"I'm uh," She took her hand away from her mouth. "Excuse me." Ducking her head she walked past Riku breaking into a run.

Blinking was the only movement Riku seemed to be capable of. He stood rooted to his spot and felt his hands shake, he closed his eyes. Finally he managed to get his legs to move but not far, he reached the wall of the near by building and slowly he left himself slide down along the wall until he was sitting on the ground.

A shuddering breath wracked through his body and he brought a trembling hand to his face. He didn't want to think he didn't want to know what had just happened, he couldn't, he wouldn't. He could only concentrate on breathing.

Breathe Riku, breathe.

Slow deep inhale. That.

Shaky exhale. Was.

Broken inhale. Kairi. Pause

0o0o0

Somehow Riku managed to stand on shaky legs and slowly he made his way back to his room. Once inside his room, leaned on the closed door. The entire walk back to his room had felt surreal he kept looking over his shoulder expecting to see heartless or Sora or his Souleater. Fortunately for him every time he looked over his shoulder there was nothing there but darkness, and silhouetted shadows.

Even though his encounter with Kairi had left him shaken to the core, at least now he knew the girl he had seen his first day had been Kairi. But than that was too much of a coincidence; not only had he met Sora but he had a friend named Kairi who he had just bumped into.

Riku could feel his heart racing and he could feel the beginning of a panic attack. Taking preventative measures he laid on his bed, closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing and nothing else. Somewhere along the line he fell into a fitful sleep.

0o0o0

The sky was dark the buildings as gloomy as ever, the weather perfectly matching the existence of the non-world Riku stood in. He was back in the World That Never Was, the streets were deserted his steps echoed all around him. Was he dreaming again?

Riku stopped walking and looked around, empty there was no one around, not even the heartless. And than he heard it, it was a quiet feminine voice.

"Don't be afraid." It was a whisper, Riku whipped around trying to located the sound.

"Please don't be afraid." A figured cloaked in black the face obscured by a hood materialized before him. And regardless of the assurance the voice tried to convey Riku took a step back.

"What is going on? Who are you?" Riku asked.

The girl, for Riku assumed as much judging from the voice, took a step closer to Riku. Riku stopped himself from taking another step back but not because he didn't want to he couldn't.

The girl's head was bowed obscuring her features even more, as if the cowl she wore didn't hide her enough. She was silent and all Riku could do was wait for her to speak.

"I, I'm not sure what is going on." She admitted sounding afraid and confused. "But it doesn't matter anymore." She was quiet again.

"Who are you?" Riku asked again his voice barely controlled anger and panic.

Slowly with hesitant movements she pulled the cowl back. Staring right back at Riku were cerulean eyes.

"Kairi!"

The surprise in her eyes was probably more than the surprise Riku felt. Riku however was too busy being shocked to notice.

"You remember." It was a whispered statement, but the proximity with which Kairi stood to Riku allowed Riku to hear her.

"Kairi, what is going on? What's happening to me?" Riku asked, in desperation hoping that Kairi had the answers he was looking for.

Kairi lifted her gaze to look at Riku, a look of despair crossed over her face as she took in his lost gaze. Her lips trembled slightly and Riku could swear he saw her eyes shining

with unshed tears. "Oh Riku."

And hearing her say his name surprised Riku more than, the tears in her eyes, or the tremble in her voice or the way her faced showed a painful sort of regret.

"It wasn't, you weren't." She took a deep breath and was quiet.

"What? Please tell what's going on. I feel like I'm going crazy. What's wrong with me?" Riku pleaded.

Kairi's tears finally fell free from her eyes and she turned away. She was silent for a few moments and than she nodded as if coming to a conclusion.

When she faced Riku again, Riku went to take a step back and was reminded that he was frozen in place. Riku did not like the look Kairi had in her eyes.

"I'm so, sorry Riku, it wasn't… It would best if you forgot."

Forget? Forget what, Riku didn't even know what he remembered. Riku tried to back away again and when he couldn't, the panic began to set in. Just as he was about to voice his protest he felt something inside his head, in his mind. It was a cool, feather light touch that while strange and invasive was not unpleasant. Riku gave Kairi an accusing gaze, it didn't matter how unobtrusive the touch felt, she was still doing something to his mind.

"Whatever you're doing stop." Riku heard himself say in a calm voice, though inside he was shaking with fear. Kairi wouldn't hurt him, would she?

"I really am sorry but it's for the best."

And just as she appeared she was gone in a flash of blinding light. As was the memory of ever meeting Kairi, in Kingdom Hearts or bumping into her in the real world a few hours back

0o0o0

0o0o0

0o0o0

Cardel: err are you guys confused yet. And umm school and classes suck??

Jin: Is that a question?

Demak: Nope excuses.

Jin: And lame one's too.

Cardel: But it's my birthday and

Jin: You'll post if you want to, post if you want to

Demak: You could post too if it happened to

Cardel: Noooo you guys are weird.

Jin:/shurgs/ Right so what does that say about you?

Cardel: Whatever and umm /flails arms/ I hope someone's still reading this. Drop me a line. Now I gotta go and celebrate my B-Day. Ja-ne