I'm so sorry I haven't been around for so long.

At first, it was because I was actually liking my life more than the computer.

I was making all these new friends, and just altogether liking myself.

And then I got a crush on a girl. (I am a girl, by the way.)

And she got a crush on me.

We went out for 6 days, and then...

We fell apart.

And she wants absolutely nothing to do with me.

I'm not doing so well right now.

Because my life is just altogether falling apart.

I don't even know who I am right now.

I'm just...emotionless.

So, I apologize if this chapter sucks even more than usual.

I'm just not in the mood to try and write well.

But I need to write something.

Because I haven't given you guys anything in a while.

And I feel really bad.

Disclaimer: Do I have to do this this time?

Chapter 14 - He Hates Me

A month had passed, and Pip had been informed by Mary that they had now traveled about 100 lightyears. They were picking up speed, it seemed. Pip thought it quite amazing that they were traveling so awfully fast. He knew that the nearest star to the sun, Alpha Centauri, was a mere 4.3 lightyears away, and the most advanced Earth technology still made the time of approach somewhere 53,000 years in the future. Yes, Pip had been forced to watch Isaac Asimov: Voyage To The Outer Planets And Beyond when he was a young 'un of only three or four.

"How is it that we can travel quite this quickly?" Pip asked of Peter one day, for Peter seemed to be the main pilot of the expedition. At least, if he wasn't the main pilot, he got to sit in the pretty chair. And why would he get to sit in the pretty chair if he wasn't the pilot?

"Well, we have God on our side," Peter replied vaguely.

"Oh, but if God does any miracles, he'll be found!"

"He's already been found you dumbshit!" Sarah said from a seat not too awfully far from Peter's. She was the Voyage Coordinator, and constantly acted like she was the most important of them all. "God can do anything he wants now that he's already let himself be found."

"Oh..." Pip thought that that made perfect sense. Except... "But...I thought that Adam didn't know that we know that he knows where God is...obviously, he'd know that we know that he knows where God is if God keeps on doing miracles now..."

Pip was rewarded for his insight with a smack on the head, courtesy of Sarah.

Everyone grew very accustomed to living on the ship, for now they had spent almost six months on it. Pip had begun to imagine just living on the ship forever, for this was the happiest he had ever been. Hell, he got to sleep on a DoubleplusEmperorSized bed next to Damien every single night. He got to eat as much food as he wanted, go wherever on the ship he wanted, talk to Damien as much as he wanted, and all in all, just do whatever it was he wanted to do. It was the freest he'd ever been in his entire life.

Pip was afraid that he'd somehow let all of this freedom get to his head. He had read books of people who had let things like this spoil their minds, and then they became rude and self-centered and pushed away all the people that loved them.

Oh wait, no one loves me, Pip reminded himself. Sure, Damien liked him, but Pip knew he was far from being loved by Damien. And seeing as Damien didn't love him, it was obvious no one else on the expedition did, for no one else really liked him at all, at least not as much as Damien did.

Pip decided to stop with that depressing train of thought and thought of more uplifting things. Such as...well...there really wasn't much happy stuff to think about. Well, actually, we're almost there! That's an uplifting thought! Pip thought to himself. Of course, that actually wasn't very uplifting, for Pip knew that that meant that this wonderful-awesome-super-special-makes-you-want-to-pee-your-pants trip was already about halfway over. And Damien had made it clear that danger was present at the destination. Pip didn't want anybody to get hurt! Especially not Damien. Pip didn't know what he'd do if Damien was gone...

Pip walked into the dining hall, a decently large metallic hall that looked quite similar to the one in Star Trek: Next Generation. Pip only knew this because at Token's 12th birthday, as was mentioned before, Pip had watched Star Trek. Of course, Pip wasn't sure if the food service on The Whimsical was quite the same as on Star Trek. He didn't think it was, but who knows? On The Whimsical, there was a large menu with pretty much anything you could think of, and you just typed the number/letter combination into a machine, and it miraculously appeared. Pip was pretty sure it was Sarah's idea, since she liked everything on the menu. Pip usually just got the smallest thing possible and ate as little as possible, not wanting the food to run out or something like that.

Pip got a small slice of pizza and a water and went to one of the tables to sit down. There was certainly no need for all the tables that were in the dining room. It was more like a cafeteria, but since there were only eight people on the voyage, they really only needed one large table. But Pip was glad that there multiple tables, because otherwise he'd have had to sit with Sarah many times over the course of the trip.

Speak of the Sarah, she walked in right as Pip was thinking about her. She looked at Pip with a look of such disdain that Pip shrunk down into his seat. He didn't want to have anything to do with her and her hatred at the moment.

Sarah got something huge, most likely an 18-inch sub. She seemed to have a fondness for them. Pip expected her to go sit far, far away at the other end of the hall. Instead, she sat at his table. Pip almost choked on a pepperoni when she sat herself down across from him.

"Yo," she said in a seemingly casual voice. She took a large bite of the sub and wiped her mouth with one of her numerous napkins that she had brought with her.

"Yo..." Pip replied back warily. Sarah had something in mind, he just knew it. There was no way she'd actually wanted to sit with him. "Why are you here?" he asked. He then realized he'd sounded absolutely rude. He didn't feel the need to apologize, however; this was Sarah. And Sarah was never nice to him. So why should he be nice to her?

"What, is a crime to talk to you now?" she asked, sounding equally as rude as Pip had said. Only, you could tell she didn't feel the slightest remorse.

"What do you want?" Pip asked. He didn't want to deal with her crap today. She was never nice to him, never. He knew she just wanted to make him do something for her. Or something. Something bad.

"Who says I want anything?" Sarah said. She took a bite of her sandwich, and then made a big deal of setting it down like she was done eating. "Okay, look Pip. I realized something yesterday...and that is, I have never quite been good enough to you. I have never been nice to you." She looked truly remorseful. Pip could not believe what he was hearing.

"I don't believe you," Pip said bluntly.

"No, Pip! I'm serious!" She looked somewhat panicked now. "Pip, I never realized how my remarks got to you. I mean, I always figured you just brushed them off, but I have came to understand that people don't just forget. You won't just forget when I say something mean to you. And...I shouldn't even be saying anything mean to you. Because, I'm not mad at you! I have never hated you or nothing! I've always just been jealous..." she admitted shyly.

"Jealous? Of what?" Pip couldn't deny that he was completely confused. What the bloody hell is she talking about?

"Of how close you were to Damien...but last night, we were talking, and he was telling me about how much he hated you, and it just came to me that you guys aren't really that close, so I shouldn't be jealous. And I should stop trying to cause you pain when it's obvious you're already in enough pain." At this, Sarah actually got up and walked around the table to give Pip a hug. "I'm so sorry Pip..."

Pip's head started to rush. What had she just said? Did she just say that Damien hated him? Oh, please, let her be lying...please, God, don't let her be speaking the truth...oh wait. I can't talk to You. I'm sorry, I'm not talking anymore! I swear! Pip looked at Sarah's hands, laced together around his neck and resting on his left shoulder.

She's lying, was the only explanation Pip could come up with. There was no way that Damien hated him. I mean, sure, he may not be too fond of me all the time, but I know he doesn't hate me...he can't! But, Sarah had been speaking all of these kind words about Pip. Pip knew that she wouldn't be caught dead saying stuff like that unless it was true.

No. No. I refuse to believe it. Pip kept telling himself that, but it was getting harder and harder to believe himself when Sarah's grip got tighter and tighter. Pip finally let himself go and clutched the arm crossing in front of his neck. Sarah would never be doing this if she was lying. This was not the kind of thing that she'd do to make Pip miserable.

She's telling the truth.

"We're almost there! We're almost there!" Damien cheered on the bridge. On the big screen, everyone could see the large rock of a planet in front of them.

"What is the name of that planet?" Pip asked, feeling quite stupid for not knowing. He had known they were going to the planet that Adam was on for the entire trip, but he'd never thought of asking the name of it.

"E-M36 is what the scientists call it. Or...it might be M-E63. Or something along those lines," Damien replied to his question.

Pip shrunk away from Damien's voice. He hates me.

Pip looked up at Sarah, who was sitting in her special chair, and got a smile.

Pip then couldn't help but look at Damien. He had cocked his eyebrow in a strange way, obviously noticing the interaction that had just taken place between Sarah and Pip. Pip looked away from Damien again, feeling very much like a burden.

He doesn't want anything to do with me. He probably wishes I'd never stowed away with him. I can't believe I did something so forward like that, I can't believe myself! If I had just stayed there, they could have left me and never came back. He hates me. He wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Me being here is causing him all this pain and agony. I'm ruining him.

"Hey, buddy, you don't look so good," Damien said, walking over to the chair that Pip was in and sitting in the one next to it.

"I'm fine," Pip replied curtly. He didn't want to have to say anything more than was necessary to Damien.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Surely sure?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely positively surely sure?"

"YES!" Pip yelled. "Get off my fucking case!"

Everyone on the bridge looked over to the left side of the room towards Pip's seat. They hadn't been paying much attention before, but they certainly were now.

Damien muttered something about it not being only girls who PMS-ed, and trudged back to his initial seat.

The bridge was one big awkward silence after that burst of emotion from the dear British boy.

"How long until we're there?" Pip asked Damien that night. He just wanted to know that one small bit of information, nothing more.

"We're going to be there before the end of the week," Damien replied shortly.

"Oh. Cool." Pip sighed and climbed into the DoublePlusEmperorSized bed. He pulled up the covers to his chin and closed his eyes.

Damien imitated Pip's actions and turned off the light.

All was silent.

It had been fifteen minutes of silence or so when Pip finally couldn't take it anymore. "Damien, you can throw me off the ship if you want to!"

"What??"

Pip sighed. "Damien, all I've been doing is bothering you, and it's not like I have anything else to live for anyways. Since you hate me, you can just throw me off the fucking ship."

"What the hell gives you the impression that I hate you?!?" Damien turned on his side looking at Pip with a somewhat severe expression.

"Well, it was"-

"Wait. Let me guess. Sarah."

Pip nodded. "Yeah...but I know she was telling the truth."

"No she fucking wasn't!"

"Yeah...she hugged me, Damien. She was obviously telling the truth, otherwise she'd never get caught dead saying those wonderful things about me."

"No, no, Pip. Your logic is all wrong. She would never want to compliment you. Ever. Which means that if she was, she was obviously lying. By the way, she tried to do the same thing to me. She tried to get me to believe that you had told her that you hated me. But I'm a little smarter than that, and a little more faithful in my best friend."

Pip felt a rush of guilt come over him. "Sorry..." He felt like such a dick-head now. How could he have thought that Damien could ever hate him?!? "FUCK ME!" he said loudly in his mind. He had meant in the way that someone says "fuck you!" when they're pissed at you. Because he was pissed at himself. However, when said out loud, the phrase does NOT sound like self-loathing. And unfortunately, Pip had said it out loud.

"W-what??!??"

Pip looked up at Damien innocently, and then realized what he'd said, and clapped his hand over his mouth. "Agh!"

Damien raised his eyebrow.

"I totally didn't mean that!"

Damien turned around and buried his head in his pillow.

Pip hit himself on the head. "Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

I'm sorry.

I couldn't end it correctly.

I have other crap that needs to be gone over in the next chapter that's going to take a while, so I had to end it quickly now.

Again, I'm sorry.

My life is being a bitch to me right now.

A sexuality issue + a bad break up - one of my closest friends A not so happy Kenny's SpaceCadet.

Forgive me.