Chapter 20
Buffy stood outside the Willis home in the wee hours of the morning. She did not care whether or not her urge to go there was wrong or right, nor if she should continue her quest. The only thing that she knew for sure was that she had a strong attraction to Tracy Willis and needed to do this. She looked up into the night sky and studied it with a hardened look. It was if she was searching for an answer as to what direction to take from here. If she knocked on that door, she could be opening a huge can of worms or finding someone who could care for her. If she did not knock on that door, she would never know what would come of this, or would she?
As Buffy turned her gaze towards a rustling noise behind her, Faith stepped out from the bushes. "B, what on earth are ya doing here?" The dark slayer asked as she put out her cigarette.
Buffy looked at Faith in a downcast manner. She didn't know if she should explain her predicament to the dark-haired beauty or not. She feared that nobody would understand her feelings for Tracy and that someone would try to stop her. She also feared that she subconsciously wanted someone to stop her. "Faith, I had this vision of Tara and she told me that Tracy's body was not dead but in some sort of coma and some other stuff. She said that Tracy wasn't always fully evil and I'm thinking that maybe she was giving me the chance to help her and maybe have a good thing with someone."
Faith looked at Buffy in utter shock and then stepped closer to her. "B have you gone totally insane? You didn't fall for that woman in that house who is probably being kept alive by machines. You fell for the woman that Tracy was trying to act like and that's Tara Maclay!" Faith's voice rose a little more than she had anticipated but she had to be firm in order to stop Buffy from making a huge mistake.
Buffy's mouth opened and closed several times but not a word came out of it. She had not realized that fact until Faith said it. Her brain spun in a thousand directions it seemed, as she tried to come up with a good rebuttal to Faith's argument. In the end however, she knew there would be no rebuttal. She knew that Faith was right and she, like Willow, had been swept away by the kindness and charms that Tara possessed. "Maybe she was telling me that she could come back in Tracy's body Faith! Maybe she developed an attraction to me as well and this could work because technically she wouldn't be Tara. Willow wouldn't have to be hurt and I could be happy!" As Buffy spoke in desperation to come up with a solution to her predicament, the tears began to fall from her eyes.
"B, this is the craziest idea that you have ever had!" Faith protested and took hold of the sobbing slayer's shoulders. "You know this is wrong B and hafta snap out of it before you cause something bad to happen. Look, maybe Tara had another reason for telling you about Tracy's body. Maybe the woman needs to rest in peace finally B. Plus, do you really think that Tara would knowingly come back here and not want to be with Red? Those two had a love that everyone else dreams of."
Part of Buff felt that Faith was right and that she should turn around and forget this. While another part of her felt that there was another reason that Tara had made a point to tell her that Tracy was alive. She was confused and tired but knew that a decision had to be made. "Faith, it's just not fair that we all can't be happy!" Buffy shouted in an exasperated tone as she composed herself once more.
"We all can be happy B; but you have to think rationally." Faith never in her wildest dreams figured that she would be trying to keep another human being from doing something off the wall but had done it twice tonight. She wasn't sure if she had succeeded on either count but it felt good to be trying to do something good for a change. She felt that she was finally in a good place in her life and her ability to think in a rational fashion while others weren't, confirmed to her that she was healing from a lifetime of turmoil.
- - - - - -
As the car that Willow and Harmony were in pulled to a stop, Willow opened her eyes. She had fallen off to sleep both on the flight and in the car ride. Guilt had overtaken her after the two had left the headquarters at dawn without saying good-bye. She had left Buffy and a few others notes to explain her decision and cowardly left with the vampire. She knew that she wanted to give this a try and feared that someone would have the right words to talk her out of it. Thus, she made the hasty decision to leave a letter and vacate the premises while the others were sleeping.
As the two entered the hotel that Angel used to call home, Willow stopped dead in her tracks with a shocked look on her face. "I gave everyone all sorts of hints that I was not human," Anya said with a beaming smile on her face. "Harmony told me that you might be joining us Willow and I think it's great."
Anya turned to Harmony with a smile and handed her some papers. "These need signing so that we can get to work on the first issue and I have a ton of ideas for…"
"Later Anya," the vampire said with a dismissive look. "I want to show Willow around and then relax for awhile. Has Lorne agreed to help look after Sarah?"
"Yes but there is a small problem," Anya frowned. "She made a telephone call earlier this morning. She got the number from my rolodex."
"She called Dawnie," Willow spoke in a whispered voice as she looked at Harmony. "What are we going to do now? I don't want Dawnie hurt Harmony!"
The vampire put a cold hand on her lover's arm to calm her. "She's not going to hurt Dawn Willow." Harmony spoke softly as she looked to Anya for more information. "We will deal with this in a way that nobody is hurt."
"Well," Anya smiled a hesitant smile at the two women as Harmony's assistant came into the room. "Dawn is on a flight here as we speak. That is, unless someone stopped her but she hasn't called back to say that she wasn't coming."
"Lorne has gone to pick up Andrew from the airport," Dave confirmed. "I understand that everyone is in a mess back in Ohio and will be dealing with us soon Miss Kendall. Dawn and Sarah had another conversation and the young miss Summers wanted to stay a few more days to help her sister through something."
Harmony looked at Willow and felt an uncertainty emanating from the redhead. "Don't disturb us," she said and took hold of Willow's hand. "Please come with me Willow. I want to show you what I've done with the place. I want to show you my plans and try to assure you that this will all work out for us."
Willow allowed Harmony to lead her through the old hotel that Angel had once chose as his home and place in which to help the helpless. She saw that a lot was unchanged but there were many changes in the décor and feel of the place. She began to relax as the vampire talked briefly about her magazine and the plan to continue to help the helpless as Angel did. As Willow watched Harmony's expression as she spoke, she saw that the vampire had a certain vigor about her. She realized that maybe Harmony's only goal was to make life easier for herself and those demons that wanted some semblance of a normal life. Though she was uncertain as to how all of this would sit with the gang back in Ohio, she was beginning to feel that this was really going to work out with the vampire. There were still the issues of how she would handle Harmony's possibly getting into underhanded demonic things but the distrust issue was waning.
As the two ended the tour in the master suite, Willow's eyes lit up at the beauty of the room. Her features h ad changed from grim when they first started the tour, to elation upon its completion. Harmony had managed to procure a lot of books for Willow's reading and research purposes as well as a state of the art computer. The vampire had truly gone out of her way to give Willow the things that she liked and needed and that pleased Willow. "Harmony," Willow said and looked around at the suite that was decorated with gorgeous antique furniture. "I hope that you didn't blow all of Angel's money of this stuff but it's really beautiful."
"Anya is a very frugal shopper Willow." The vampire said as she kissed the redhead. "I just told her what I wanted and she got it for a much better price then I could have." Harmony kissed Willow again and then ushered her to sit down on the bed. "Willow I wish that I hadn't been so shallow when we were in school. You know that I care for you but I wish that I could feel it with everything inside me as you can. If I had acted like a decent kid rather than some stuck up snob, I would have at least felt that love that I know I have for you with every fiber of my being at one time in my life. I'm doing the best that I can with what I have to work with Willow. Please don't get scared and run out on me. Let me try to be a better demon for you."
As Willow returned the kiss, she glanced at the far wall and saw a huge portrait of Cordelia Chase that someone had painted perfectly. That old wondering that she had that maybe Harmony was different came back. She had dismissed that thought to her wishful thinking but knew that Harmony had gone to great lengths to remember her best friend with a beautiful, most likely commissioned, portrait. She also knew that the vampire had put her undead life on the line for her many times without an obligation to do so. In edition, Harmony had gone to great lengths to make her feel secure and comfortable in her home. "I love you Harmony Kendall, with all of my heart." A tear escaped down Willow's cheek as she spoke the words that she feared she would never be able to speak again.
As the vampire's kisses grew more aggressive, both women felt a shift in the air. The energy was changing, but the reason for the change was unbeknownst to either woman. They felt the shift but were concentrating more on their intensifying passion to think about what was going on with the energy around them.
- - - - -
Faith stood outside the headquarters with an over-tired look on her face. She first had the brief talk with Dani, then the confrontation with Buffy and her job wasn't over once she returned home. She had just got relaxed on the sofa in the early morning hours after convincing Buffy to delay her plans until they had more time to talk. She was readying for a nice long sleep when she heard sobbing coming from the kitchen and knew that it was Dawn. She dragged herself up and listened to Dawn's story about Sarah. She tried to comfort the girl but knew that her pain was great and wasn't sure if she knew how to help her. Added to the pile of problems was the note that she found once she had calmed Dawn down slightly. Willow had gone off with the vampire and not even bothered to say good-bye to Buffy.
As she put another cigarette out and wondered what to do next, Dani came up to her. "I got this letter from Miss Willow." She held it out to the slayer but Faith shook her head and did not take the letter.
"I found one that was supposed to be for B." Faith said dryly and wished that she didn't care so much about these people. Wanting to help them all was a great responsibility and there was a huge part of Faith that never would like having many responsibilities. "Dani, I know that you were planning something last night and it's something that may end up having to be done."
"I know Faith," Dani said sadly as she looked at the ground. "I cannot do what Kennedy wanted me to do. I can't kill that vampire just so that I can have a shot with Willow. If I kill her, it will be because she has done something to warrant the pointy end of my stake and not because I care about Willow so much that I would stoop to Kennedy's level."
"It seems that you and I have both picked the wrong person to be attracted to Dani." Faith said and turned towards the dormitory building. "I kinda like D and tried to show her that after Sarah's death but only Sarah isn't fully dead and so I'm thinking D is gonna be the next person to head off to LA."
"She and Robin have gone somewhere with Buffy. She is in a bad way and I'm not sure exactly why." Dani said somberly and glanced in the direction of the street.
"B will be in a bad way until she gets her love life sorted out." Faith said and let a yawn escape her mouth. "Listen, I'm gonna catch a nap and then what do you say we go drink our troubles away over a few games of pool?"
"That sounds good to me," Dani said and followed the dark slayer back inside.
- - - -
"Buffy, this is not going to be easy but you have to do what's right." Robin finished speaking as Buffy, Dawn and himself arrived at the Willis home. They had taken a long walk to give Buffy a chance to explain herself after spending a tedious few hours trying to console the heartbroken slayer. She, in part, explained the things that Tara had told her and of her realization that she had fallen for Tara's personality rather than Tracy's. She also told that she could not help but feel there was a better reason then Faith had conjured up as to why Tara had told her bout Tracy being alive. In turn, Dawn and Robin agreed with Faith in that Buffy was not thinking with a clear head and needed to make the best decision for everyone.
Buffy stopped walking and looked at Robin with a confused yet determined look on her face. "All of my life I have been doing what's right for everyone else Robin. I have put myself last in most every instance that I have had to make a huge decision. I chose to kill Angel that horrifying night so long ago. I chose to jump off that tower and die to save the world! I chose to continue being a slayer and working for the good of the world when I knew good and well that I could have walked away after we began to multiply in such great numbers! When do I get to choose something that would make me happy and feel complete?"
Buffy turned to her sister with pleading eyes and continued speaking. "Though I fear something will have to be done about it, look what Willow did. She finally got up and started picking up her life again. She, as I have done, sacrificed her own happiness and well being for so long that I was beginning to believe that she never would fall in love again. Willow did this all without obligation and damn it we both deserve to be happy!" Buffy's lips quivered as she spoke but her words came from the heart and Dawn knew it.
She had spent most of the day comforting her sister who was nearing melt down mode. She had listened to how she felt without protest, though she feared that Buffy was not thinking rationally. "Buffy, you know where I stand on this but I will support whatever decision that you make because you are my sister and I love you." Dawn said in a defeated tone. She knew that Buffy was right in that she and Willow deserved to be happy. She only hoped that they both weren't making decisions that could cause them and others more harm then good. She too was at a crossroads and wanted so much to be with Sarah but the rational side of her was steering her in another direction and she knew it.
"I've got to go in here alone." Buffy stated and left the two standing outside alone with worried looks on their faces.
After what seemed an eternity, Dawn felt a ripple in the energy at the same time Willow and Harmony had felt it. "There is something major happening." Dawn said quietly and hoped that whatever it was, was for the good of people rather than the bad. A man's voice calling the name Tracy made their fears well up in both their stomachs as they looked towards the front door of the house.
A/N one more chapter, feedback please. I hope that you all like this story and thanks to those who have reviewed and continued to read it. I will get back to my other stories as soon as I finish up this one in a couple of days.