CHAPTER 3

Sam strode with false confidence up Jack's front steps. The slight breeze blew her delicate blonde hair as she raised a hesitant hand. She gave three firm raps and waited...and waited. She glanced quickly at his truck parked clearly in the driveway and was assured he must be home. Confused, she rang the doorbell, but still got no answer.

After ten minutes of admiring the dark oak of his door, she concluded that he must have stayed with Daniel last night. Disappointment flowed through her, not sure if she would ever be able to build up this kind of crazy courage again. Turning toward her car with slumped shoulders, she was surprised to hear a gruff voice behind her.

"Carter? What are you doing here?"

Slowly, Sam finished her spin and found a disheveled Colonel O'Neill wearing a T-shirt and shorts. You wouldn't have known how drunk he was yesterday except for the slightly bloodshot eyes. He was faintly out of breath, and she discovered the cause. His golden retriever, Homer, was anxiously pulling at the leash Jack was holding. They had obviously just returned from jogging.

She was speechless, her resolve evaporating, "Uh…well…"

Her sound faded and he mercifully filled the silence, "We were just going inside," he motioned to his door.

She quickly removed herself from his path, "Yeah, sorry."

He eyed her skeptically as he walked Homer up the steps and skillfully unlocked and maneuvered the door with one hand. He stepped inside and held the oak open, "Well?" Sam took the hint and followed after him.

"Dang dog," she heard him mutter under his breath on their way to the kitchen, "Just once, I'd like you to not pull me along for the ride, okay?" The retriever didn't seem to be listening as he led his owner to the empty water bowl and stared impatiently up at him.

Jack gave in and asked Sam to hold the leash as he filled the dish. Homer happily lapped up the liquid while Jack detached his leash from the collar.

They stood awkwardly for a moment and his suspicious look was back, "You're quiet today, Shanahan," something flashed in her eyes and he shrugged, "Just thought I'd try it out." She could tell by the wrinkle on his nose when the name was said that he didn't like it at all. "So, what's up, Carter? You don't normally drop by out of the blue to say hello."

Sam mentally built herself up for what she needed to tell him. Trying not to give away her nerves, she remembered why she had thought this was a good idea. She owed it to them to see if he felt the same way, especially after the whole fiasco with Pete. Sam was half-way there, but something suddenly hit her. She had everything to lose.

Her career could be jeopardized. Certainly her shaky relationship with the Colonel would be ruined. This would no doubt affect the team dynamics. How could she face him if he wasn't interested?

Sam shoved down those negative thoughts as she recollected the hurt she'd caused Pete. No, she wouldn't let that have been in vain. The chance would be taken, "I need to tell you something, sir."

He offered her a 'duh' look and she continued, "About yesterday…" she saw him wince.

Jack interrupted, "Carter, I'm sorry about that. I was smashed, so…"

She held up a palm to quiet him, "I'm not mad, I just want to know if you meant what you said."

"I wish I could tell you, but I don't remember anything after four o'clock." Sam could tell he knew what she was talking about though, by the glimmer of guilt in his eye.

"Sir, please."

"Does it matter now anyway? You're getting married in a couple months to that…cop," he spit the last word in repulsion.

Alright Sam, she thought, it's confession time, "What if I weren't?"

"Carter..." he rubbed a hand through his graying hair, "You are. It's not worth considering, okay?"

"But, what if it were?" she challenged.

The same hand rubbed tiredly over his eyes, "You're playing in dangerous waters, Sam."

"Maybe I like the waves."

Their intense orbs met and connected until Homer decided he wasn't getting enough attention. The mutt brushed against Sam and whined. She broke contact with Jack and knelt down to scratch Homer's belly. She briefly smiled when she saw his tail wagging ecstatically. Then she saw Jack's face. He wasn't going to let this go.

"Some things are better left on land, where they're safe."

"You mean kept locked away in a room?" she stood and Homer ambled contentedly off to sleep.

"You were the one who wanted it that way," he reminded her, just a touch of bitterness lacing his tone.

"Maybe I don't want that anymore; maybe I think certain things should see the light of day now."

"They've had all the light they can have and we both know it."

Sam realized frustratingly that speaking in these riddles was getting them nowhere. She would have to be blunt and the first one to make a move, "Pete and I broke up," she waited with baited breath for his response.

She could tell he chose his next words carefully, "I'm sorry to hear that. Must have been hard," The look that came across his features said he wasn't apologetic in the very least. Still, he tried not to show his emotions.

"It was," she stated truthfully, "but we weren't what each other needed."

Would he take the opportunity her words left open, she wondered. She didn't have long to ponder it, "And just what do you think you need?"

This was it; she swallowed hard before answering, "You."

The single word flew from her mouth meekly. A small grin tugged the corner of his lips upward. It seemed that before he could get control of himself, he had picked her up in a tight embrace.

Abruptly scared that he had moved to fast, he set her down, "Me," he spoke in awe, "you think you need me."

She nodded furiously as she felt water well in her eyes. She was surprised at how easy Jack had confessed his own feelings, even through this simple gesture. He broke into a full-blown grin and hugged her again, but she was puzzled when he pulled back.

"This changes everything, Sam," she felt flutters in her stomach as he mentioned her name for a second time that morning; "This does mean what I think it means?" Still, she knew he was holding something back.

"If you'll have me, Jack. I've put off what I really wanted for too long. I don't care what we have to do to make it work."

This was a completely surreal moment for both of them, and what he said next only assured her of how seriously he was taking this. He talked leisurely and with meaning, "Think about this; our careers will be over, or at least one of us will have to go. Do we want to give up what we've worked so hard for? And after we go public with our relationship, there will always be speculation that you slept your way to the top. Who knows what will happen with SG-1 and how Danny and Teal'c will feel. Not to mention, what will your dad say?" Sam knew he didn't care about any of that; he was just making sure she understood what she was getting in to.

Sam reassured, "I've already thought about all of that, and I don't care. Yes, I love my work and I know you do as well, but for the first time in my life, I'm willing to give that up for the man I love."

She hadn't meant for that to slip out so soon, but the damage was done.

He didn't let on that her words affected him, "You think that now, Sam, but you'll end up resenting me and I can't let you throw your life out the window for some old man. Your happiness is too important to me."

Sam's heart swelled and she truly thought that if she never walked into the SGC again, she wouldn't mind a bit as long as she could be with Jack.

She shook her head, "I told you, you're what I need. All that matters to me now is what you think. How you feel about this, because no matter how bad your 'special' omelets are or how annoying it is when you fidget; I do want this more than anything."

He was still not convinced, "You're so young and beautiful. You don't deserve someone like me. You deserve somebody so much better."

She understood this was just his self-doubt rearing its ugly head. "No, Jack. I'm the lucky one. After how badly I hurt Pete with realizing I wasn't ready to marry him…"

That caught his attention, "You dumped Pete? I thought you both agreed to end things…"

"No, this morning-"

He cut her off and strange anger filled his voice, "This morning?"

She was taken aback by his tone, "Y-yes, after breakfast-"

"So you woke up, discovered you had cold feet, ended your engagement, and decided you'd come over here for a little comfort fest, is that it?"

"What are you talking about?"

He started pacing and then in one swift move knocked a couple dirty glasses off the counter. The crash made her jump, now very worried and even more confused.

"How could I have been so stupid? You shoot what I want to hear out of your mouth and I fall for it," his hand was back at work on his salt-and-pepper locks, "All I am is the rebound guy; or the last roll in the sack before you go live your fantastic life with Petey-boy."

"Jack, it's not like that. I'm not lying about this. I couldn't be that cruel." She reached a hand to him, but he kept moving.

"Really? Aren't you just playing with me? How could I ever think you'd trash your precious career for me?"

Sam was sick of this. She roughly grabbed his shoulders and made him stay stationary. Then, she spoke very clearly, "I love you. This is not a game. Wake up or else you're going to lose me again. I left Pete because I've loved you for a very long time, and now I'm finally ready to stop pretending to myself."

She tried with all her might to convey her sincerity through her blue orbs, and was relieved when she felt his shoulders loosen. "If you're messing with me, Sam, I don't think I can take it. If not, I'm willing to retire; do anything you want," the power she had over him scared him.

She gently laced her fingers through his, "Okay, let's figure this out together then. But right now, I want to just enjoy your company." A slow smile spread across her lips.

Right then, on top of the broken glass covering his kitchen floor, he kissed her. And she knew everything would be alright. They would make this relationship work, and she could proudly say, 'He's my Colonel'.