Chapter 2
"Here, that's it", Harper explained finally and pointed to the screen, where a new advertisement appeared:
"Nietzchean muscleman, just jumped out of the "Women's Pleasure", is looking for an attractive woman with good genes for procreation to integrate her into his future harem. Willing and ready to marry and bear at least five children are required. A luxurious living standard is guaranteed."
"That … That is the advertisement you set up for me?" Tyr asked after reading the text, a mixture of shock and anger written all over his face.
His next unmistakably angry words Harper didn't hear because Beka burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" Anasazi snapped at her angrily. "This, this unbelievable collection of words is truly an affront." He was almost stuttering in anger. "And you, Harper, be glad, that I sometimes think you are useful otherwise you could go looking for every single one of your bones!"
"What's wrong?" Beka still snickered. "Harper formulated this text quite accurate. Please show me one statement in this few lines, that isn't you in a nutshell! She smiled hugely, "Can't do it, can ya?"
"First of all this "muscleman" sounds like I have only strength but no brain. Then he implies that I'm not able to find a wife myself", Tyr growled.
"Oh, that's it", Beka said, still not able to stop to laugh. "The ad just scratches on your pride. Let me think! Nietzcheans strive to have as many wives as possible to sire as much offspring as possible. Correct me if I'm wrong, but until now, you don't have anything of that – neither in the single form nor in the multiple. Perhaps you really need some help with finding a partner?"
"Do you think so? Well, if you think that Harper's idea is so great, then why were you so angry about your mails? You should been have to be thrilled, if he is also helping you to find a mate, too. Right? Because you also seem to be not so successful. That's why I would really like to know the advertisement that's fitting for you. Harper certainly has found a suitable text for you because he's a real linguistical genius."
Tyr turned around to the young engineer who had even thought the others would have forgotten him and would have let him go.
"Show us the advertisement you have set up for Captain Valentine!" he demanded.
"Yeah, yeah! First everyone is complaining and then everyone is amused", Harper grumbled. "And then I'm even relegated to be a film projectionist. "
Tyr, who didn't miss Harper's comment because of his superior hearing, menacingly glanced at the young man, showing that he would not tolerate contradiction. So Harper hurried up to look for the advertisement he had written for Beka.
"Here, that's it", he announced, when the text was shown on the screen.
"Raunchy blond with own freighter is looking for a wealthy humanoid for lonely nights and hot adventures. Intention to marry is not welcome. Bodily perfection, spontaneity unconventionality and lust for adventures are conditions precedent. One-night-stands not excluded."
"What?" Beka exclaimed appalled, when she had read the lines. "You have set up this text for me in the holo newspaper?"
Seeing the shocked look on Beka's face Tyr couldn't do anything else than to start roaring with laughter like she herself had done with him only a few minutes ago.
"Oh, shut up, Anasazi!" Beka snapped angrily at him. "That's not funny at all. Everyone who is reading this must be thinking that I'm a floozy!"
"Well, there I've got two quotes for you. The first one is from Harper: 'Where is no name written under the advertisements. So you remain anonymous and your honor stays intact.' Then there's a second one: 'Harper formulated this text quite accurate. Please show me one statement in this few lines, that isn't you in a nutshell! Well, could it be that these words were yours?"
Beka only glared irately at Tyr, but she didn't give him an answer and looked around for Harper. Because he had seen, that the female pilot wasn't happier about the text than Tyr was, he had sneaked off to Dylan looking for protection. He thought that perhaps the young woman wasn't as convinced as Tyr that he as the only ship engineer was indispensable. Perhaps she would try to kill him.
"Harper", Beka called aloud and pointed at the young man. „You'll stop this advertisement at once. And if someone learns to know about this embarrassment then I'll kick you out of the ship through one of the missile openings! "
"I'm tempted to offer my help", Tyr grinded out with a suppressed laughter. Beka's burst had him half way reconciled with Harper. When Captain Valentine was pissed, the view was always superb – at least if he himself wasn't cause and object of her fit of rage.
"Now I also want to know, what nice advertisement you set up for me", Dylan said smiling.
In the meantime, he was convinced, that Harper had in his mind only some little joke and that he had assumed that nobody would be angry at him about this.
With his overtly directness he had exaggerated the ads a little bit , however he hadn't really done any harm if you didn't count hurt pride and vanity. They all stayed anonymous and nobody would associate the advertisements with them. Dylan could not deny his curiosity.
"Are you really sure, that you want to read that?" Harper asked hesitantly. "I would rather if you wouldn't insist. Because then you'll also be angry and there will be nobody who will protect me against your anger. "I promise that I'll neither hurt you nor will kick you out of the Andromeda. Now show me the advertisement."
Reluctantly the young engineer obeyed and looked for the advertisement. Only seconds later, it could be seen on screen:
"After a big lost, a Warship captain, a little bit moldy, is looking for a young female feather duster. If you're humanoid, attractive and not older than 30 years and feel you've have no problem with orders, then let us chug to the stars together."
"That sounds like me being a male dominatrix of the age of senility", Dylan stated, when he had read the text.
"I didn't intend that at all", Harper defended himself hurriedly… "I thought it would be funny and fitting for you."
Dylan, who was prepared for Harpers linguistical lapse, had to try hard not to burst into laughter.
Smiling he said: "It's okay, Harper. I'm not angry. But I advise you to not do something like that again. You're not very lucky in choosing your words."
"There's still a problem", Harper then whispered aggrieved. "I can't cancel the advertisements. They will be published for another week."
"Well, then we'll have to tolerate the bigger amount of mail for another week", Dylan said, put his hand reassuring a Harpers shoulder and then left the observation deck.
"What is Beka doing over there? ", Harper asked Trance, when he entered the recreation deck.
He had just finished some repairs and was now looking for a little bit recreational entertainment for example a card game.
"She is reading her message discs", the golden being told him. "They seem to be very amusing, because she is always laughing."
"Who has written to her?" Harper asked curiously.
"They are the messages she received as answers to your silly advertisements", Trance explained patiently.
"Hey, my advertisements weren't silly. It's not my fault that there's nobody who knows fun."
"I thought she wanted to delete all the messages", Tyr interrupted. He hadn't looked in his book, he had brought to read, for some time, as he was dividing his attention between Beka, who was reading on a couch a few meters away, and Trance and Harper who were talking about her.
"She couldn't sleep last night and so she started to read through the messages. That's she told me. And because some of the messages being very funny, she decided to read them all."
Tyr shook his head and glanced in the direction of Beka. "I don't understand women. Yesterday she was so mad and today she is laughing about it, tomorrow, who knows."
"Harper, I've got a question", Trance used the opportunity to ask. "Why didn't you set up an advertisement for Rommie or me?"
"That would mean limiting my chances", the engineer answered grinning. "I want that you both have the possibility to spend you all attention on me. I'm glad that Tyr is only into Nietzcheans and that Dylan doesn't start relationships with the crew. So I can be sure that they both are no competition for me."
"You are hopeless, Harper", Trance berated him smiling. "But you are sharing your attention between so many women? Or don't you plan on meeting some of you advertisement ladies?"
"Of course I want to take a closer look at some of the girls. I think nietzchean philosophy isn't that bad. The idea of having my own harem sounds pretty good to me", Harper said.
Again Tyr was shaking his head in disbelieve.
"Harper, don't forget, that nietzchean males are constructed to have multiple wives", he stated. "I really doubt that you could keep up with them. Your harem would soon be looking for more…excitment."
With that he stood and walked over to Beka.
TBC