520 reviews!! Omg!!
Ok, so I got this flame from an anonymous reviewer:
I do realize this is fanfiction but this story does Stephenie Meyer's no justice. It started out alright but now it is absolutely ridiculous. Your grammer isn't very good and your random spurts of idiocy just make me wonder why so many people reviewed your story. The characters are way out of character and too many rules have been bent. Sorry to say but you should really improve your writing and before you go and compare yourself to Stephenie Meyer's, I'd think again.
I want to reply to the person who wrote this, but since it was anonymous I kinda can't. Anyway, here's what I want to say to whoever left this... (sorry to everyone else for having to read this. You can just skip it if you didn't leave the review)
Number 1: I, in ABSOLUTLEY NO WAY think my writing skills compare in any way to Stephenie Meyer. (I think that's what they meant with the "and before you go and compare yourself to Stephenie Meyer's, I'd think again." That didn't make sense. And this person says I have bad grammer!? ;-) just kidding. Kinda) Stephenie is an AMAZING author who deserves to be worshiped. If anywhere I said anything that implied that I thought my writing was even in the same league as hers, I apologize. She is incredible and, compared to her writing, mine looks like that of a 2 year old.
Number 2: I'm sorry about the bad grammar that I apparently have. (you spelled "grammar" wrong in the flame, by the way...) I do read over my chapters three times before I post them and usually have another person review them before they are posted, but I know I could have missed things. I just finished 8th grade, therefore I do not know everything about grammar. So, sorry about those mistakes.
Last but not least: I'm sorry that "The characters are way out of character and too many rules have been bent."I sometimes realize after I post a chapters that one of the characters seem very out of character, or I made a mistake and what I wrote is something that wouldn't actually happen. Actually, there are a lot of chapters that I would LOVE to go back and completely re-write, if not delete because they are so horrible, but I know that would be stupid. For example, I realize now that Jacob wouldn't actually hurt Bella like that because he DOES have control when in wolf form (I thought he didn't before, but that has been clarified by the Twilight Lexicon FAQ, I think.) So, I'm sorry that those mistakes have been made.
So, overall, I'm sorry this person is disappointed with my story. For everyone else, I'm sorry you had to endure this rant. Just a note for everyone else who would like to flame, please don't make it anonymous next time so I don't have to waste an entire page with responding to your flame. I'm sure the rest of the readers don't want to have to read this. Sorry for taking up everyone's time with this...
Now, here's the story!
Note: people who are very squeamish or easily grossed out might not want to read this chapter...there is some kinda gross stuff in it. If you read it anyway and then feel sick, don't say I didn't warn you...
Chapter 31
"Jasper? Emmett?" I asked.
The person on the other line laughed. He had an evil, cackling laugh. It scared me. It sounded like something straight from a horror movie. Then he spoke.
"You'll never see them again."
The line went dead.
"No..." I whispered. The person's words replayed over and over in my mind.
You'll never see them again.
You'll never see them again.
You'll never see them again.
"Emmett...Jasper..." I whispered. I fell down onto the bed, unable to move. I didn't cry. I simply sat there in shock.
You'll never see them again.
Jasper and Emmett, gone. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Never to see Jasper's angelic face ever again. Never to hear Emmett's booming laugh when I tripped or blushed or did some other stupid human thing.
And what about Alice and Rosalie? Their husbands, dead. What would they be like? They would be heartbroken. They probably wouldn't speak, or move, or do anything for days. But, for all I knew, they could be dead right now too.
My entire soon-to-be family was being killed. The ones who weren't were probably being tortured. I had to get out of here. I couldn't just stay in here, completely safe, and have it all these bad things happen around me without doing anything about it.
I attempted to stand, but I couldn't. I was still in shock. My body wouldn't respond to anything. The words were still replaying in my head.
I thought about Emmett and Jasper. I couldn't imagine a world without them.
But they were gone. Gone from my life. They died trying to save me.
I thought about that for a minute. They risked their lives when they went out to fight Victoria. They knew that they could die. But they fought anyway.
It just wasn't fair. No one should've had to die because of me. I'm just a worthless human. Because of me, the Cullen family was being torn apart.
With that thought in my mind, I managed to stand. I had to get out to the battle and do something about this.
I was almost to the door when my phone rang again. I was about to ignore it, but then I realized that it might be Edward. I ran and grabbed it before the answering machine got it.
"Hello?" I breathed.
"Bella?" a woman on the other line asked.
"Esme!" As excited as I was to hear from her, my voice still sounded dead. Lifeless. Esme noticed.
"Bella, I'm so sorry no one has come!" she apologized.
"It's ok, Esme. I talked to Jasper and he said—" I stopped. Jasper.
"Bella...honey...?" Esme asked after I was silent for a moment.
"Jasper...Emmett..." was all I could say.
"What about them, honey?" Esme asked, full of concern.
"They're...they're...d...d..." Before I could finish, I heard a knock on the door. It wasn't on the door to the small room I was in, but a knock on the main door.
"I know you're in there!" a shrill, female voice shrieked. Victoria.
"Bella, don't say anything," Esme warned. She must've heard Victoria through the phone.
"Open up, Bella!" Victoria yelled again.
"Bella, whatever you do, don't make a sound," Esme said again. I heard a crashing noise, and realized that Victoria must've broken down the door. I backed away from the bed, and to the wall farthest from the door. But as I was walking backward, I tripped over the chair.
Silence.
Then I heard a noise like fingernails on a chalk board. Victoria was moving the shelf away from the secret door. She heard me. Then there was a banging noise on the door.
"I know you're there, Bella! Now, be a good girl and open up this door. I promise I won't kill you right away. Come on, Bella. You'll be with your dear Edward soon..." she taunted.
Edward.
"Yes, your sweet Edward is dead. Along with his pathetic sister, Alice, and his brothers. Emmett and Jasper. Don't you want to be with them? Your fiancée? Your best friend? Open the door and you can be with them..."
Esme spoke quickly into the phone. "Bella, she's bluf—"
Before she could finish, I heard another banging noise. A creaking sound. Another bang. The sound of wood being broken in two. Then the sound of something being ripped off its hinges. The next second, the door was gone. And Victoria was standing there, with her red hair sticking up at all angles. She had a vicious gleam in her dark black eyes, wild with the want to kill.
"Hello, my dear. It's been too long..." she said as she sauntered towards me. In a second, she ran past me, grabbed the cell phone, and was back where she started. She looked at the phone, laughed, and the brought it up to her ear.
"Hello, my dear Esme. Don't bother fighting anymore. I have Bella right where I want her. There is no need for you to lose anymore of your family members." She waited while Esme said something back to her. "Oh, don't worry about that, honey," she continued. "It's all been taken care of. Oh, and you might want to say goodbye to Bella while you can."
Victoria walked over to me and placed the phone up to my ear. I heard Esme yelling something very quickly, but I couldn't understand any of it. After a second or two, Victoria pulled the phone back to her own ear. She walked over towards the desk.
"Have a nice night," she said as she closed the phone. Then she dropped it on the desk, and crushed it with one finger.
She turned to me.
"How nice to see you again, Bella," she said. She crept back over to me. She put her hands on the top of my head, and slowly moved them down my face. Almost as if she was trying to seduce me. I knew it must be one of her torture techniques. She ran her long, white, cold fingers over my cheeks and down to my jaw.
I tried very hard not to scream.
When she got to my neck, she stopped. She looked like she was contemplating something, but then continued to run her hands down over my shoulders. She stopped as she got to my fingertips.
In one swift movement, she was on the other side of the room. I still hadn't moved from the spot I was in when she first entered the room. Fear gripped me, and I couldn't even think about moving, much less running away. Even if I tried, I knew she would catch me without any effort.
"An entire year I've waited to kill you," she said as she began to circle around me. "First, you had for vampire friends protecting you," she said as she approached me again. "Then, they left. Oh, how happy I was on that day. I knew I could have you at last." She placed her hand on my shoulder, and continued to walk around me, running her hand along behind my neck, onto my other shoulder, onto the front of my neck, and then back to the shoulder she had started on.
"Then, when I thought I could finally have you, I sent Laurent here to check up on how things were going in Forks, Washington. I never got a report back from him. I figured he just ran away, the cowardly fool." She stopped circling me and ran my hand down my arm. "Little did I know that he was killed. Killed by the vilest creatures to ever walk this earth." She stopped and looked at me. She looked like she was expecting me to answer a question. "The vilest creatures on the earth. Come on, Bella, I know you know what they are."
She was expecting an answer. I remained silent.
"Say it with me," she said. "Were. Wolves."
I didn't say anything.
"Say it, Bella!" she commanded. I still remained silent. I would not give in to her and give her what she wanted. "Say it!" she yelled. When I didn't respond, she reached for my right hand. She grabbed my index finger and pulled it back violently. I heard a crack. She broke my finger.
I screamed.
"Say it," she said. This time she didn't yell. She said it soothingly, like a mother would talk to a child. She reached for my middle finger on my right hand, and I spoke.
"Werewolves," I gasped. She grinned triumphantly.
"Very good," she said. I felt excruciating pain again. She had broken my middle finger, even though I did what she wanted. "Now you know what happens when you don't listen to me," she said, still in the same soothing tone. "Just be happy this time it was only a finger."
I held my right hand with my left. I tried not to think about the pain. It hurt so badly. I made the mistake of looking down at my hand.
There was bone sticking out of both my fingers. I tried to look away, but I had already seen. The image was burned into my eyes.
I vomited right there on the ground. Victoria chuckled.
"A little squeamish, are we?" she asked sweetly. I looked at her, disgusted. A moment later, I knew it was a mistake. "Don't give me that look," she said as she walked back over to me. The grabbed my ring finger on the same hand, and broke it too.
The pain was awful. I couldn't take it. I tried not to scream. I couldn't give her what she wanted. She wanted to see me in pain. She wanted to see me suffer. I wouldn't give her that.
"So, where were we in our story?" she asked, as if everything that she had just done to me never happened. "Oh, yes, with the vilest creatures on the earth. The..." she trailed off, waiting for me to complete her thought.
I thought of the pain in my fingers. I decided to cooperate. "Werewolves," I muttered.
"What was that?" she asked sweetly.
"Werewolves," I said a little louder.
"Yes, the werewolves. The wolves were a bit of an issue," she said as she examined her arm. I saw that there was a scar on it. "Those dogs don't deserve to be on this earth," she said, full of anger. Then she turned back to me. "The wolves," she said, completely calm and happy sounding again, "made everything a bit more difficult. But look at me now. Even with the wolves, and with your 'family' back, I still managed to get to you. How wonderful is that?" She smiled. "And I managed to get rid of four extras too."
I thought of Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and (with a wince) Edward. The "four extras" she spoke of. She was just like James. This was just a silly little game to her. A game that she thought she couldn't lose.
I thought, with a sigh, that she was probably right. There was no way the Cullens could win this battle with only Esme, Rosalie, and Carlisle. And I was as good as dead right now anyway. They might as well give up now.
"And now, with half of the family gone and no one left to save you, you will die."
She sauntered over to me. She put her hands on my shoulders and then violently pushed me back against the wall. I fell to the floor, and I could feel pain on every part of my body. I saw blood gushing from a cut on my arm. Victoria smelled it, and knelt down next to me. She ran her finger over the cut, and then stuck it in her mouth, sucking on the blood.
"You do taste delicious," she said, commenting on my blood. "I can see why your sweet Edward wanted to be around you so often. But I'll guess he'll never know how you really taste. When you join him, you can tell him that it's better than he could imagine."
She did something unexpected then. She reached for my hand, and helped me stand up. I looked at her, confused, and she smiled. "Just wanted to help out someone in need," she said sweetly. I guessed that the personality switching was part of the torture.
I opened my mouth to ask her a question, but decided against it. She turned away from me and walked towards the door. She grabbed something from off the shelf, examined it, and then set it back down. I saw that it was another apple. I guess I hadn't took both of the ones the Cullen's had left for me.
"How you humans could ever like this..." she muttered to herself. Then she turned around to face me. In one swift movement, she was by my side once more. She reached down for my hand. It was my left hand, the undamaged one. I braced myself for the pain that I knew was coming, and then felt a pain beyond what I imagined. I looked down at my hand and saw that she had not broken my fingers.
She had broken my wrist. There was a white bone sticking out of it too.
The pain was unbearable. I squirmed around in place. I tried not to scream. I didn't hold out for long. I let out a scream. I felt the tears falling down my face.
"Oh...are you like a two year old?" Victoria taunted. "You cry when you get hurt?"
I glared at her, not caring about what she would do to me. I had already experienced great pain. All else she could to do me was kill me, and that would only be a benefit. I would be with Edward.
"How could you be so cruel?" I asked. She laughed.
"With much practice," she answered simply. She pushed me against the wall again. I landed on my side, and felt more blood rushing out of more cuts. Then she kicked me in the stomach. I knew she didn't use all her strength—if she did, I would surely be dead.
She knelt down next to me again. She lifted me up, so I was sitting. She brushed my hair out of my face. Then she said what I knew to be the final words I would hear before I died.
"Nobody left to save you..."
Please review!
Oh, and one more thing. Sorry this chapter is so creepy, (with the whole Victoria-torture-seduction-thing) sorry this is getting so morbid, and sorry about the death. Many people have reviewed saying that they are very angry with me cuz some of the Cullens might be dead. I'm sorry for this. I'm not going to tell you if they are actually dead cuz that would be stupid, but I just want to say sorry you guys are upset with me. And yes, I know, this chapter was VERY morbid, with the whole finger-bone-wrist thing. But come on, it's Victoria. What else do you expect??