DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters, the script, or image of Eva. Go talk to somebody else if you're interested in purchasing it.
Experimentality Chapter 5
The psyche, it's a marvelous thing, capable of conveying the events of millennia to a person without them seeing it, yet is something that can't remember what it had for breakfast this morning. It can withstand against a mass murder, yet it can't survive a break-up. Contradiction. This is what makes the psyche so undeniably human. And the psyche is what makes a human undeniably a human.
The red haired girl lay on her futon, face down, hair covering any facial expressions. Some of her hair was matted against her face by tears, although she would never have let anybody she them. Tears, they were a sign of weakness, and to everybody else, Asuka was a fortress of strength, never giving up when things got bad.
However, the fortress had a soft spot, and it was directed towards Shinji. She had done all she could to impress him, anything to get him to notice her. But whatever she did, Shinji just didn't get that she was trying to get close to him. And the fact that she was failing continued to boil her temper. That soft spot was turning into a crack, a crack that with a little prodding, could tear the whole fortress down.
"Dammit, Third Child. I hate you."
Misato sat at the bar. "Anotthhher, pleaze" She slurred. She felt alone in the world. She could tell Asuka was slowly slipping away, depression and despair slowly overwhelming her soul, and now, Shinji was back in a coma. The two kids that had become her surrogate family were drifting away, and she was afraid this time, she might not be able to pull them back.
Shinji sat in a train car, it was getting dark outside, and a chill seemed to have settled into the cabin. All that could be heard was the sound of the cars rocking as the bounced over bumps in the rail. Every once and a while, the sound of a crossing gate would interrupt the monotonous clicking.
"Shinji, it is time." Shinji didn't move. Zeruel looked down on Shinji. "Is this the brave warrior they call 'Shinji the Invincible'?"
"I don't want that nickname! I'm spineless, I'm a coward…what good am I? I don't deserve to be called invincible…"
"Then why do you fight?"
"Because I'm told to."
"Because others tell you? Are you afraid of being hated if you say no?"
"No, I know I'm already hated by others. I do it to protect them."
"You fight to protect others that hate you? Why?"
"Because…maybe they will like me afterwards…"
"You have fought fourteen of us, why do you still fight if they still hate you?"
"I don't know."
"Is it because you like them?"
"I don't know."
"Is it because you feel a sense of duty?"
"I don't know."
"Then why?"
"I DON'T KNOW….just shut up! I'll never know."
Gendo Ikari sat at his desk, which overlooked a huge office with nothing else in it. An eerie yellow glow illuminated the windows of the office, which in turn made the office look almost supernatural. Of course, this was the impression the elder Ikari liked to cultivate, a man in control of all forces, both natural and supernatural. He pressed a button.
"Welcome, Doctor Akagi. There is a matter of great importance I would like to discuss with you."
"Yes?"
"After the failure of the dummy plug system during the Fourteenth's attack, I have thought of a new system to replace it. Is it at all possible to rewire the system to use that of a current pilot?"
"Yes, I suppose anything is possible with our current technology…but why do you want to wire a human pilot to a system that can only think at the level of programming? The human pilots, however unstable, are still much more capable than a computer system."
"But the Children are not any better than computers when they are unconscious, are they?"
"What are you trying to say, Commander?" Ritsuko said, her voice raising slightly.
"What if a human pilot were rendered unconscious by another Angel attack? The dummy plug system will not work on any Eva unit reliably. Perhaps we could use the body of the pilot to link to the system, then have the computers carry out the orders through the Children."
"I suppose we could develop something like that. It should be a simple matter of rewiring the dummy plug to run off one of the Children, instead of a clone. I think we may have something ready in about a month."
"Very well. Begin development immediately. You have the Third at your disposal." Gendo said. The lights went out in the office, and the elevator began to lower. As she descended, she realized that the Commander had used the word 'disposal'.
"So your son is just another pawn in your games, eh, Gendo? Everybody is."
Two weeks later…
Misato Katsuragi walked into the hospital room. She stood beside the bed and took Shinji's hand in hers. She cried silently, for what seemed like an eternity. She took a long look at Shinji's face, then said with a faint smile on her lips. "Don't die on me, Shinji. I need to know where those flowers are."
Asuka was sitting on a bench in a park. As much as she wanted to cry, the tears just wouldn't come anymore. Though it was a death of someone she liked a lot, and probably even loved, no more tears would come. She had been just about to leave her room to go to the store, but turned and ducked back in the room when she heard Misato come in and turn on the answering machine. She immediately placed the voice as Kaji's, and wondered how she hadn't heard it recording. Then, as she puzzled over the phone call, she noticed that Misato was crying. All she heard was, "You idiot." Asuka figured out the rest on her own.
A feeble autumn sun worked its way through cracks in the nearly overcast sky. A small rain storm was moving in. The weak sunlight finally was overwhelmed by the thick clouds, plunging the hospital room of Shinji Ikari into darkness.
For nearly a month now, he had been in a coma. Some said that he had brain damage from being brought back from the Eva. They pointed to the madness of Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu for proof. Others just said that the pilot had just contracted some form of illness, such things were rife in the city at the time. Shinji himself, however, knew that it was a severe case of multiple personality syndrome, with two strong personalities preventing the brain from making a choice of which was the true personality of Shinji Ikari, effectively paralyzing the system.
The two personalities of Shinji Ikari were really the personalities of Shinji Ikari, and the Angelic being Zeruel.
"You fight, for the sake of others, even though you think they hate you. Shinji, no one you know hates you, and you know that. You use it as an excuse to shut yourself away from the world, to hide away from what you fear. And you allow that fear to multiply, to grow within your soul, to the point where it grows so powerful you cannot face it. You can't talk to anyone, or can't stand to look another in the eye. Why? Why are you afraid of others?"
"Because I have no idea what they think, or what their intentions may be! How do I know if people really love me or just want to use me for their own self-gratification? I don't want to be around anybody if they just use me like that! And how can I understand what anybody wants if I can't even understand what I think sometimes. I can't understand myself! How can I understand another if I can't understand myself?!?" Shinji said, starting to curl up.
"By understanding yourself, you can understand more about others, and by understanding more of others, you will understand more about yourself. As contradictory as that may sound, it is the human condition. Humans of themselves are made of contradictions and paradoxes, and there is no hope of somebody understanding or explaining them. All you can do is sort out your thoughts and goals and to develop a basic understanding of how those close to you will act and react."
"But how? Everybody around me purposely keeps things ambiguous! How am I supposed to know what others mean when they tell me one thing and then do another? How do you think I'm supposed to understand them?" Shinji asked, beginning to get angry. "You all keep me purposely in the dark, you keep your intentions ambiguous so you can hide what you really want with me! I'm not going to take it anymore!"
His train car had suddenly filled with visions of his close friends, whose features began to grow distorted and took on a mocking cast. "Damn you! Damn you all!" Shinji shouted. One face in particular stood out, one of such malevolence that Shinji temporarily shrunk back when he saw it. The rest of the car began to fade out, and the figure of Asuka towered over Shinji.
Outside the hospital room, a small earthquake rattled the city. At NERV headquarters, warning alarms began to go off, as many of the personnel began to take cover under their desks. The earthquake was getting stronger, and some computers were began bouncing lightly on their desks.
Shigeru looked up at Maya. "I thought the GeoFront protected this area from earthquakes!" Maya just shrugged, but was equally puzzled by the earthquake. Suddenly the Magi sounded the Angel alert. "Damn it, of all the lousy times...blue pattern confirmed! Wait! It's gone! What the hell?!?" Makoto shouted over the din of the earthquake and people rushing around the room. Then as suddenly as the earthquake started, it stopped.
Commander Ikari strode in the room, followed closely by Subcommander Fuyutski, both somewhat rattled, but maintaining a calm appearance. Things began to settle down as they entered, and immediately, he began giving orders. "Lieutenant Ibuki, begin analyzing the blue pattern. I want a location of where it was reported in five minutes. Lieutenant Hyuga, put the headquarters on 24 hour standby for an Angel attack. Lieutanant Aoba, I want you to get the recovery operations vehicles to the general area of the pattern report now."
The bridge bunnies followed their orders as a second powerful earthquake rocked the GeoFront. The Angel alarms began to sound again. "Another blue pattern established! Its in the same place as the first!" Maya yelled. A massive jolt shook the building, knocking everybody out of their seats. Maya stood back up. "Blue pattern established in the hospital block! My god its close!"
Shigeru turned around and looked up at Gendo. "Sir, the two pilots are awaiting launch." At the same time, Misato burst into the room beside Ritsuko. "Alright then, launch the Evas!" The two Evas burst out of the ground in the GeoFront.
"Alright, if the Angel is where the Magi say it is, you should be able to make visual confirmation any second now." Maya said.
Asuka grunted. Rei radioed back. "There is no Angel here, Lieutenant Ibuki."
"That's impossible! The Magi say it should be nearby!" Maya said, starting to worry. "Look up near the hospital block. The Magi say it should be there."
The blood drained from Misato's face. "Did you say the hospital block? Isn't that were the headquarters hospital is too?" She asked frantically.
Maya looked at Misato strangely. Well, I guess she isn't lying when she says she's not good with directions. "Yes, Major? What about it?"
Misato looked at Ritsuko. The same thought was running through both of their minds. "Hyuga! Dispatch a Section Two squad to retrieve the Third!" Another strong earthquake rocked the GeoFront. Shigeru looked back at Misato. "Pattern location rising rapidly!" He turned back around, and kept a running tally of the objects location. "Its at the surface! One kilometer up. Three kilometers up! At this rate, it will be out of range of the long range weaponry in 10 seconds! Eight kilometers up!"
"Fire all long range weaponry at the center of the blue pattern, NOW!" Misato ordered.
"Batteries A through D have fired, no effect. Reload time 3 seconds. Fire again? Range 14 kilometers." Shigeru said, calming down. "Target should reach maximum operational range in 20 seconds."
"Fire the artillery again. We have to slow it down and give the Eva a chance to get a shot in at it!"
"Batteries A through D have fired, shells missed target, and were automatically detonated. The target is at 25 kilometers, still rising. 10 seconds until operational borderline is crossed." Shigeru reported.
"Asuka, Rei! Have you reached the surface yet?" Misato asked. "Asuka, you have the positron rifle, try to get a shot off!"
"I can't! The clouds are in the way, I can't see it!" Asuka reported back. The dark storm clouds had thickened, and the first drops of rain were beginning to fall.
Shigeru called out "Angel is now at 36 kilometers, about to cross the operational borderline!"
"SHOOT, ASUKA!" Misato cried.
Unit-02 swung the sight up in the general direction of the Angel and fired. The ground underneath the Eva cracked as the force from the rifle was directed down. A bright beam of blue light shot up through the clouds. A satellite recording the incident watched on. The tension inside headquarters rose. The beam arced through space on a mad dash towards the Angel. Suddenly, the beam split as it encountered an A.T field. Then, a large blue object appeared behind the A.T field.
"We failed. Its still alive. I guess we're in this for the long haul." Misato said.
Hyuga looked back from his monitor, panicked. "Section Two is reporting that the Third Child isn't in his room!"
"What? You get their sorry asses out and looking for Shinji NOW! He's too great an asset to allow to wander off." Misato yelled. She sat down in a free chair and sighed. "This day just keeps getting worse and worse."
Ritsuko sat down beside her, and tried to calm her down. "Hey, at least Shinji's awake, right?"
Maya read the readout from the Magi. "Beam lost 25 of its energy by the time it arrived at the target, 50 of energy diverted out into space, 10 turned to heat, 15 absorbed by target. Blood pattern still active." There was a slight sigh of disappointment.
Shigeru looked down at the monitor. "Target has stopped at a height of 60 kilometers. It is now in a holding position about 250 kilometers northeast of Tokyo-3. Position's been the same for the last hour."
Meanwhile, up on the surface, the rain was coming down harder than ever. Asuka kept the targeting system square on the faint dot that represented the Angel. Asuka kept herself busy by looking at different ground station images of the Angel, although they didn't show much. Suddenly, there was a bright flash from the Angel. "The hell?" She fired off a shot, as the clouds began to open.
"You idiot. You think you can even compare to me? You think that you're worthy of my time? Think again. You're so hopeless. I can hit you all I want, and you won't raise a finger to stop me. Why would I waste my time with you, the lowest of the low?"
A fiery look glowed in Shinji's eye. "Damn you Asuka! You're no better than me! You cry for your mother in your sleep! You can't stand it when people ignore you! You complain about how others act while you don't give a damn about how you do! You….ARGH!" He reached up and wrapped his hands around Asuka's neck. "Damn you to Hell! You deserve no better!"
End Chapter 5 of Experimentality.
Wow, never in my wildest dreams did I expect this chapter to take so long to write, but in retrospect, I probably should have. Ah, summer, the season of laziness. Sorry to all of you who read and like this story, I'll try to do better with it in the future. I'd like to give a special thanks to all of you who took the time to read and review. I hope you all are enjoying the story so far, and I hope that you'll keep reading it. As an author, nothing's more encouraging than to see people take an interest in your work, and certainly, I'm overjoyed with the response this story has gotten. Well, I guess that's enough self-indulgence for a while, and I hope to see all of you who have read this story in the next chapter. See you there!