Harry Pothead and the Philosophers Stoned
Harry Pothead yawned, and got out of bed. He went downstairs to find his aunt and uncle sitting at the kitchen table.
"Harry, eat your breakfast and we'll go into town to get your uniform for Stonewall High." his aunt Petunia told him, ladling kippers onto a plate. He scowled at her, sitting down next to his cousin.
"I'm not going to Stonewall, I told you! I'm a Jedi, and I need my training!"
His relatives exchanged worried looks.
"Harry hon, do you really think that you should be smoking all that cannabis? I mean, look at what happened to you parents…"
"My Old Toby leaf? Nay, 'tis as good for a Hobbit as Lembas are for the elves."
"I… thought you were a Jedi?"
"No, Hobbit all the way. The road goes ever on and on…!"
And with that bombshell, Harry went to his room to play with his pet sawdust collection. Petunia looked at Vernon, her lips pursed together. Then she picked up the phone.
Ding Dong!!
Harry ran to open the door, and stared open mouthed at the man who stood there.
"Oh my gosh, it's Santa, but without a white beard! Young Santa!" the dark haired teen announced, flinging himself at the stranger.
"Harry, I'm Mister Henderson."
"Pleased to meet you Hagrid." Harry said, his eyes wide. They went through into the kitchen.
"Now, Harry. We would like to offer you a place at Hagwurts Rehab Centre, to get you over your addiction. You have to understand this Harry, not all drugs are good. Some go bad. A few years back now, a drug went as bad as you can go. Its name was…"
The tall bearded man hesitated,
"Its name was ecstasy. Now, your mum and dad were as good as junkies could be; never hurting anybody through their recreational drug use. But then ecstasy came. It found its way into Godric's Hollow where you were all living. You were just a year old. It came to your house and…"
Harry looked expectantly up at him.
"…sorry, but it's that sad." Henderson said. "Anyway, ecstasy killed them. And here's the real mystery of the thing, it should have killed you, too. But it didn't. Ever wondered why you have that mark on your forearm? That's no ordinary cut. That's the mark when a hospital drip is attached to get you your fluids."
Harry was still looking confused.
"Took you from the hospital myself, on the clinic's orders. Brought you to this lot. But Harry, that's why you're famous among our type. You're the Boy-Who-Didn't-Die-From-an-Overdose."
Harry opened his green eyes wider, as Henderson continued.
"But now, this habit…"
He shook his head.
"You're a junkie, Harry."
He handed Harry a letter from Hagwurts, which Harry read quickly.
"He won't be going!" his uncle insisted. "We can put a stop to that rubbish ourselves."
"Shut up, you stupid muggle!" Harry yelled, his eyes shining.
"I'm a wizard?!" he said to Henderson. Henderson looked confused.
"I'm a wizard!" Harry yelled. He grabbed a lamp off the table and ran to the window. "Come Hedwig! Let us fly to Hogwarts School of Wizardry and be free!"
He jumped out of the window and fell. Henderson peered down after him.
"Ew." he remarked "That's why you don't do drugs, kids."
This was written by me and my friend Josie one boring ICT lesson. Hope you enjoy!