A/N: I AM BACK BABY!! w00t w00t!

I'd really like to thank all these people who gave out their positive reviews for The Confessions of Two Teenage Muggles:

TehSavageNymph: omg this story is so good! D Please write more soon/ omg that was awesome! I totally love the whole story, and especially the everyone-can-hear-her-thoughts thing, that was pulled off very well! Great job, I can't wait for the sequels/ I'm a bit confused, is she still saying what she thinks or just adding second thoughts after half of what she says? Good chapter Their argument made sense and felt realistic. Keep up the good work! D / Squee! This is gonna be so awesome, I know it!

LoonyXBirdX:Hey! What's wrong with watching Naruto re-runs! lol I really liked this first chapter, I can't wait to see what happens next, I especially love the characters! Update soon! / I love this story, I find it hilarious, funny, and ridiculous. Update soon! please! I'll give you pie if you do... wait do you even like pie? Fine dessert of your choice if you update soon/ I still love this story and can't wait to read more. Even though I'm madly jealous of Mia and Ashley! mutters lucky ducks!

mcgabby1994: WHE! MASHES! AWESOME write more quick like/ Muahahaha. you captured meh perfectly.xD (Yes, she did write more, but, being my best friend, she waws very...uh...loose...with her wording, therefore, she is not allowed to have the others posted. )

LunaSky: This is gonna be good. I can tell. More please!!

spooning with spoons: O.M.G. this is really really really good! you absolutely HAVE to write more.

Big thanks to them, and if I forgot anyone, them too! If I did forget you, let me know so I can put you on there!

One more thing and I'll let you get to the fic: I am at a blank for more fic idea's. I need people to send in an idea or two to help me out! I would really REALLY appreciate it!

Now, ON WITH THE SHOW

Chapter One: Stupid Humans

I huffed angrily and glared at the food infront of me. "What, Black, is this?"

He sighed, putting his hands on a counter that held large plates of food. "That, Azure, is asparagus."

Glaring at him, I stabbed the evil vegetable with my fork, "I know what it is. What I don't know is why it's infront of me."

Black pulled himself up onto the counter, his hands dangling between his legs. "I told you Azure, we're trying to break this little habit of yours. Now, the only way to do that is to replace the blood-lust with another lust."

I sneered at him, "My 'habit'? That's your name for this?" I asked, pointing to my blood-stained teeth. "Hah. Habit..." The last part of his sentence hit me, "Wait. Replace my what with a what?"

He laughed his booming laugh. I swear, the boy was loud no matter what he was doing. "Your blood-lust. Your craving for blood. I thought you were Muggle-Born or something?"

My eyes widened. "I...I am!" What was his deal, bringing this up? Did he normally go around asking people of their non-wizarding heriatge?! Did he KNOW something?! Could I be pairanoid? "W...WHY? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" I put my hand over my face, my blood red fingernails tangling in my hair. Did I REALLY just do that?

Black scratched his head in genuine thought, "Uhh...I was curious. I mean, most Muggle's know about this stuff, ya know? Vampire's and shite." (A/N: Tee-hee...sorry! I had to do it... -) "And what do you mean, what do I know? What's the big secret?"

I layed my head on the table, groaning, "Nothing. I have no secrets. Just ask my Diary."

He narrowed his eyes at me. Wow he looked good when he did that... "Actually, now that I think about it, you've been really weird since we got here."

Hoping to change the subject I said, "And how many days has that been?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Uhh...wait...let me go check my calender."

As he walked out of the room, I leaned back, sighing. "Jesus. That was close." I slowly reached over and put the green monstrosity to my lips. I opened my mouth, and slowly closed it around the vegetable. As my tongue touched it, I felt my stomache instantly reject the food. I threw it across the room. "I-I-Ican't do it! I-I-I just...ew." I looked over the counter at it as if it were going to explode. How do people eat those? "Humans are disgusting." As soon as I said it, I burst out laughing. God, that was fun. "Humans are pathetic. Humans bother the crap out of me. Humans cry for their mommies. Humans--"

"Do have ears."

I looked over at the door, to find Black standing there, glaring at me. "Oh. Heh-heh. Heya there, Black." An awkward silence filled the room. "And how are you?"

He didn't answer me, just glared and walked away. Giving me the bird whilst doing so.

Gasping, I stared at the spot where he had just been. "I'm not going to chase him. I won't. I'm just gonna sit here and...and...and eat my asparagus." I sat there and shrugged, "Like that was true." I ran out the door and up the stairs to the room that he'd retreated to. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't.

He locked me out! How dare he?!

I banged on the door, "Black, you get out here right now! I am SERIOUS!"

The door swung open and Black was glaring at me, "I am not a bloody house elf! I am Sirius bloody Black! Now! If you don't mind, I have to bathe! That's what humans do!" And the door slammed once again."

I screamed, "THIS IS MY ROOM BLACK!"

"I'll let you in when I'm done!"

I yelled in frustration and spun around, only to run into a small creature. "Damn it Zinny!"

The House Elf looked at me with his large orbs, "I'm sorry, Miss. Would Miss like some CoCo while Miss waits for Sir to be done?"

I rubbed my temples, sitting down across from the door. "I'll give him five minutes."

Zinny nodded respectfully, "That's a splendid idea Miss. CoCo?"

"Hmm...no. Howa bout a watch?"

The creature tilted his head, "I'm sorry Miss, but Zinny doesn't know how to cook a watch."

I shook my head, "No. A wrist-watch, so I can tell time."

His eyes, if possble, widdened even more, "Oh... Miss is speaking of Muggle time-teller! Zinny has one here!" He reached into his small table-cloth of a toga and pulled out a small pocket-watch with an 'S' and 'The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black', written across the top.

I tried to focus on what I was doing beforehand, and not how the House Elf had pulled something like this out a flat peice of material. Flipping it open, I nodded at Zinny. "See you in thirty."

His eyes widened, "Days Miss?"

I shook my head, laughing, "No, Zinny. No, not days. Minutes. Unless you tick me off, then, yes, days."

He looked even more confused, then smiled. "Thirty minutes Miss."

As the small elf nodded and pop-ed down the stairs, I sighed. The watch said 1:33.

Great. Awesome. Five minutes...

I thought of how ridiculous he was. This really wasn't neccissary. I mean, if he'd just given me back my room, I wouldn't have to this stuff. I felt anger as I glared at my door, to my room, where Black was using my shower, contaminating my air, and, most likely, soaking my fluffy white towels in toilet water.

Three minutes...

I pictured him cackleing evilly as he jumped up and down on my bed, threw rocks at my window and made a music player of somesort that was singing a Paris Hilton song as loud as it would.

One minute...

When I got in there, I'd kill him. I'd kill him dead.

And...time.

I jumped up and opened the door. Of course, it was still locked. Suddenly, I felt as though a lightbulb went off inside my head. I reached into my robes, praying that Vampires could still use magic. My blue wand made me grin, though it soon vanished as I thought of the spell. I wasn't as...er...obsessed with this like Ashley was.

I pointed my wand at the door and said, "Alohamora!"

The door flew open, and I darted in. Just walking out of the door was Black wrapped in nothing but a towel around his waist. I covered my eyes, feeling myself flush. "Dear God Man! Cover yourself up please!"

"Shit!" he hissed and I heard the bathroom door slam shut. "What the Hell do you think you're doing Azure?! I told you I was getting in the shower!"

I kicked the door, groaning quietly at the pain I felt in my big toe. Being shoe-less was painful. "And I told you that this is my room!"

"The more you say that the less I care!"

I grabbed the air in front of me, wishing it was his neck. I tightened my fists until my knuckels were white.

We were silent for a few minutes. Then he said, "Could you give me my clothes please?"

Sighing, I shuffled my feet, "Fine. Where are they?"

"Right there, on the bed."

I looked at my bed and sure enough, under the yellow and red lion-print bedspread was his clothes. I slowly picked them up, careful to grab his socks as well. I rapped on the door with my knuckles and he took them. I threw myself down on the bed and buried my head in the pillow. I could just kill him. It was his fault that I was blushing. His. I couldn't get the picture out of my head of him just standing there wet and handome. Wait, handsome? What the Hell?!

"You know Azure," I turned my headto look at Black as he soke to me, "You really should start knocking."

For the umpteenth time that day, I gasped. He was shirt-less revieling a toned, ivory chest. I resisted the urge to reach out and stop a trail of waiter that was running down it. Iopened my mouth to say s snppy retort, but my tongue was dry. No. No I was not going to be swept off my feet by an eogtistical, manipulative sleezball. I refused. He put his hands over his head and stretched so that I had to hold onto that mantra with every fiber of my being. "It is my room." I whispered.

In a matter of seconds, hisface was cenimeters from mine. I could see his crystal blue eyes, and the long, dark lashes that hid them. I could count his few freckles if I wanted to, not that I did. From here I could see that his pink lips were sevierly chapped, but, for some reason, I still had to restrain myself from placing my own upon them. He opened his mouth and beathed out his words, "You're sitting on one of my socks Azure."

I blinked rapidly. "What?"

He smiled, coming even closer, causing me to lay down with him lying almost ontop of me, "Now, lying down won't fix my sock problem will it?"

I glared at him, shoving him off the bed. He landed on the floor, not at all offended by my roughnes. "Black! You...you...you..." Many words raced through my head of what I could call him, right now though, the one that stuck out most was 'smexy god', but I knew that it just wouldn't do. "You jerk!" I reached under myself and pulled out a black sock and threw it at him. Grabbing his arm, I dragged him out of the door and slammed it in misery.

God.

My life really sucked.

All Bark and Some BiteAll Bark and Some BiteAll Bark and Some BiteAll Bark and Some BiteAll Bark and Some BiteAll Bark and Some BiteAll Bark

That night when I layed down to go to sleep, I pictured Black and his cheeky grin. Him pushing his hair away from his face as he forced food on me. Him almost completely naked. His face so close to mine...

I groaned in anger as I pulled the covers up over me, "Stupid Humans..."