All Bark and Some Bite

by Nishi Ichijo

Of course this HAD to happen to me. I have to stay locked up in the stupid mansion with the hottest guy in the universe while Ashley's off with her boytoy. Well I'm getting out of here and when I do, Hogwarts had better WATCH OUT!

3. Shower Singers Part One

Chapter Two: Shower Singers Part One

Three days later, I narrowed my eyes at him, sighing. "Black, do you not see what forcing food on me got you?"

He smirked, "Yes, and I daresay that you didn't mind so much Azure. Now, eat!"

I shook my head, willing myself not to blush, "Nope. I most certainly did NOT enjoy that." Liar. You so did.

He pushed the tray of carrots forward with is bare feet, "Come on...eat it..."

I almost gagged, "Yeah, cause that's more appealing."

He rolled his eyes, reaching into the pocket of his robes, "You know, I'm sorry that I had to resort to this."

Thinking that he was going to hex me or something, I flinched. "What?"

He pulled out a velvet bag, "This bag contains fifty galleons. One for every carrot you eat. Actually, there are only thirty-six carrots, so, if you ask for seconds, you get three extra, and if you eat all the rest, you get more."

Thinking I would be sly, I put my hands under my chin and batted my eye lashes, "Oh, come on now Black. We both know who's gonna win this. Sow hy don'tchu just..." I reached over slowly for the bag, but he snatched it away. "Man!"

He reached over and dipped a carrot in some ranch dip and pressed it to my lips, "One..." he pushed it into my mouth, his fingers touching my lips. The sensation gave me such a jult that I straightened up. "Two..." He still had to force it in, but I welcomed the feeling of his fingers. "Three..."

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"Thirty-five..."

By now, I was more relaxed, leaning in slightly to his touch, my shoulders slumped.

"Thirty-Six..."

I scrunched up my forehead as I swallowed, wondering why we had stopped counting.

"You'll have to ask for seconds, like I told you Azure."

I forced a glare and snarled, "You'll have to force me, Black."

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I snatched the bag from his hands, ignoring the nausia I felt form all the little orange monsters I'd eaten. I slowly counted the money, wondering exactly what fifty Galleons could get me. I'd only had Muggle-Money, and that was pretty much useless here.

I glared at him for real this time, "You suck."

"What?" he seemed confused.

"I...I'm gonna..." I put a hand to my mouth, feeling sick. Gagging, I ran up the stairs, hearing Black chase after me. I held down whatever I could until I reached the bathroom. I locked the door, yelling, "This is," gag, "Your" gag "fault!"

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Sirius' P.O.V.

i put my hands over my ears to block out the gagging sounds coming from the bathroom. Maybe James was right...maybe I should have just started her off with cooked meat instead of raw, then worked my way up. Ignoring the nagging feeling of guilt in my stomache, (I have the awesome ability to do that) I knocked on the door, "Az...Maria? Are you...alright?"

Gag, "What do you," Gag, "Think?"

"Are you really sick, or just making gaggings noises?"

"Black! I am not," Gag, "You! I am not," Gag, "Trying to get out of Potions!"

I sighed, leaning my head back, praying for the strength not to kill her. "You do that five times and your suddenly a bad-egg. Where's it written that good people don't break the rules?"

"Every--" Gag, "--where."

I sighed and sat down, waiting for her to come out. Instead, she merely said, "Black...I...I'm gonna take a shower...see you in a little while."

I nodded, though she couldn't see him, thinking that it was probably a good idea for her to do so. Getting herself cleaned might calm her down. I sighed and got up, sitting at the head of her bed and leying across it. The guilt was building up inside of me. Soon, I was biting my lip as I pictured her face as she'd refused the food. How could I have been so thick? She would know what she can and can't take! An image of her face turning pale, then red, then back again making me groan. I was such a moron.

I heard the water start. Since it had been taking her so long, I'd assumed that she was getting sick in the toilet beforhand. Rolling over so that I was on my stomache, I closed my eyes. No way I was going to leave her in her time of need.

As my eyelids dripped closed, music flew out of the bathroom.

" ...Handsome
Tender
Soft
Why do you look right through me
thinking
"No"
I can't deny my feelings
Growing strong
I try to keep believing
dreaming on
And every time I see you
I crave more
I wanna pull you closer
closer
closer
closer
but you leave me feeling frozen..."

I got up, feeling slightly curious. What? Huh? "Is she...shower-singing?"

Pressing my ear against the door, I smiled, realizing that, yes. She was. She most likely had assumed that I had left the room.

" ...Malchik gay
Malchik gay
I can be
all you need
Won't you please
stay with me
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
Apologies, might-have-been's
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
can't erase what I feel
Malchik gay, gay
Malchik gay

Malchik gay..."

I was soon humming along with the catchy song, tapping the pads of my fingers lightly on the door.

" ...Choking
Back emotion
I try to keep on hoping
for a way;
a reason for us both to
come in
close
I long for you to hold me
like your boyfriend does..."

My ring-finger stopped mid-tap and my eyes widened. In the begining of the song, Azure had called the boy handsome, and here, she said 'Like your boyfriend does'. But...that would mean... My eyes widened, if possible even larger. This song was about a girl loving a pouf!

I almost laughed, but instead, kept listening.

" ...I wanna be the object
object
object
object
of your passion but it's hopeless..."

Hm...depressing. Catchy. I grinned. I loved it.

I'd have to ask who the song was by.

" ...Malchik gay
Malchik gay
I can be
all you need
Won't you please
stay with me
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
Apologies, might-have-been's
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
can't erase what I feel
Malchik gay, gay
Malchik gay..."

Azure was now reaching shockingly high frequencies that made my left eye twitch somewhat. I didn't mind though. The song was still brilliant.

I slowly began mouthing the words to the music as she repeated that part a few more times before finishing. I resisted the urge to clap, and heard the shower turn off. My brain shut off.

Groaning, I got ready to push myself off the door.

"Bloody--"

The door opened and I fell to the floor on my back.

"--Hell."

Azure shrieked and fell to the floor, trying to keep the towel pulled up on her chest, her waist, and keep her legs in a position to where I couldn't see anything.

"Black!"

I smiled slightly, tilting my head back to look at her, "Yes Azure?"

She smiled sweetly, "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but..."

"Yes?"

"Did I not..." her smiled vanished and she began screaming, "Tell you that this is my fucking room?"

I scrambled up as she did so as well, managing to cover herlself up, and I caught myself trying to see if her towel was fallign anywhere. "Temper, temper."

"I'll show you temper you thick--"

I arched my eyebrow, "Gone British, Azure?"

She pushed me out her bedroom door, "Prick!"

As the door slammed in my face, I smiled. I knew her secret, and I knew just how to get her to tell me about it...