A.N - Haha. That was the best typo ever. I'm so glad i found it, you guys would have killed me. Instead of :

I muttered into my pillow, my eyes falling shut. --- I managed to put 'I muttered into my Paul.

Seriously. Lol, always funny when you get typos like that. Anyway, enjoy.

I was so relieved that Jesse wasn't around that Sunday. With the information I'd found out at the library, it would have been so awkward to be around him.

But, seriously now, how are you suppose to act when you find out that your boyfriend was engaged? And not only engaged, but to his cousin Maria who had a lover called Felix Diego who was really jealous that your boyfriend was Maria's fiancée?

It sounds like something out of a soap opera.

At least now I know why Jesse was so tight-lipped about his death. That Diego guy killed him.

No, it doesn't say it anywhere - like Jesse said, the official report was a farm accident - but I just know.

You know, considering that whole drama about who's marrying who and the fact that Felix Diego decided to take a trip to the de Silva ranch a week before the wedding day. And then the groom is found dead, in a barn, two days later.

So yeah, it doesn't take a genius.

And, trust me, I'm not one and I still managed to figure it out.

If only I were smart enough to figure out how to act around my boyfriend now.

He had obviously not told me for a reason. I had invaded his privacy by looking it up. But, in my defence, his life can't be that private if it's on display at the local library.

Well, okay, maybe not on display considering it took me hours to find out what I did, but you get what I mean.

"Su-uze!" Brad shouted, drawing my name out into two syllables. "Dinner's ready!"

Rolling my eyes, I stood up and made my way downstairs.

I walked into the dining room to find the rest of the household, plus Max the Dog, looking at me.

Silently, I slid into the only spare seat.

"Are you okay, Susie?" My mom asked.

"Fine," I murmured, digging into Andy's amazing enchiladas. The best thing that came out of my Mom's marriage to Andy was the fact that he could cook. No more take-outs for the Simons. Well, actually, the best thing that came out of the marriage was my Mom's happiness, but the cooking thing came a close second.

Mom looked at me doubtfully but didn't question me any further. The rest of dinner passed noisily with the four boys wolfing down their food as quickly as possible - yes, four. Andy can be just as bad as his sons sometimes.

"Guys," Mom chastised. "Save some for Suze!"

It was only David who looked sheepish and offered me some of the uneaten food on his plate. Jake and Brad just looked at me.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm not that hungry."

Then, considering I'd eaten all I'd felt like - which wasn't a lot, really - I left the table and returned to my room.

My Mom shouted, of course - dinner was always this really big deal - but Andy let me go upstairs saying that I looked pale.

Thanks, Andy. That's exactly what I wanted to hear.

I went along with it though, claiming I had a headache and that I was tired, and I was finally allowed to leave the dining room.

The next thing I knew I was in my room, having been too tired to remember walking up the stairs. Wow, learning what I did must've really drained me.

"Hello, querida."

Jesse's voice startled me.

"Oh, hey Jesse."

"Querida, what's the matter?" He asked, his eyes scouring my face as he took in my appearance. "You look pale."

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and instead walked into the bathroom.

"I'm fine," I called back to him. "Really."

I studied myself in the mirror. I really did look pale. My hair was frazzled as well and my eyes looked really tired. No wonder everyone kept staring at me.

"Are you sure, querida?"

Jesse appeared behind me stroking my shoulder which was covered by a short t-shirt sleeve.

"I just feel a bit …" I paused to focus on what was going on around me. The room was spinning. "Dizzy."

"It will be fine, querida," Jesse carried me over to my bed. "I've got you. Díos, what did you do today?"

"Went to the library," I muttered into my pillow, my eyes falling shut.

Jesse's laughter managed to find its way through the layers of pillows and covers I had piled up.

"Well," he stated mockingly, "we can't have you going back there if it does this to you."

I agreed. I'd never felt like this before. I couldn't even explain it. It was just like realising how Jesse had died just kind of slammed in to me. It could be that now I had to be a mediator for him. Now that I knew how he had died, I had to help him move on. It was the right thing to do. The only problem is, I really didn't want to lose Jesse.

"What were you doing at the library anyway, querida?" Jesse's voice once again broke through my haze.

"Researchin'," I said sleepily.

"Hmmm," I felt Jesse's strong fingers smooth the hair back off of my cheek and looked up to see him surrounded by the light of the setting sun.

I had to bite my cheek to keep from gasping. He had never looked so other-worldly before. Never looked so much like a spirit. A ghost that I had to help move on.

Everything was changing now.

I couldn't kid myself. Jesse was a ghost. And I wasn't. Where could our relationship go?

I felt tears well up in my eyes and buried my head further into my pillow. I never cry, and I was definitely not going to let Jesse see me do so.

"Researching what?" He asked, still with humour in his voice.

I don't know what possessed me to do so, but I couldn't help myself. The next words out of my mouth were one's I had been planning on keeping a secret. But I said them anyway.

"How you died."

All I remember then is Jesse's fingers being wrenched away from where they'd been stroking my cheek and hair. Then I was asleep.