Chapter 13
"You did what?!" His voice was cold as his eyes hardened in anger.
Suddenly I was wide awake again.
"I," I began stuttering. I had never seen Jesse like this. "I didn't mean to! Only … I knew that there was more to it then what you told me and -"
My explanation only seemed to make things worse.
"You didn't mean to?" He repeated icily. "Why couldn't you have just waited for me to tell you?" He demanded. "When you find out that my fiancée's lover killed me, it should've been on my own terms."
"I know!" I was out of my bed by now, grasping the front of Jesse's shirt and pleading with him to understand. "I know, believe me I do. But -"
"No!" Jesse roared breaking away from my hold and my gaze. "No. You should not have done it. At all."
"Jesse -"
"Don't call me that." He froze with his back facing me. "Only friends and family can call me that. Only my closest friends and family. As you are neither." He shook his head. "You cannot call me that."
My eyes swelled with tears.
"But," I began. "Jes -"
He cut me off before I could finish.
"I said," he turned around to face me and I saw his teeth were set together angrily. "Don't. Call. Me. That."
And then he had disappeared.
And I had the nastiest feeling that it was going to be the last I ever saw of Jes - Hector de Silva.
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I woke with a start, gasping for breath with tears pouring down my cheeks.
It was just a dream, I told myself. Just a dream, just a dream.
I hadn't really told Jesse that I knew how he'd died. It was just my guilty mind taunting me.
Just a dream, I repeated as I looked around the room. Just a dream.
Glancing out of the window I realised it was pitch black outside. I must've slept longer than I thought.
I climbed out of bed to get myself a glass of water from downstairs.
Carefully tip-toeing downstairs I made my way into the kitchen without much noise. Even Max only lazily lifted and eyelid, saw it was me, then went back to sleep happily.
It was as I was finishing my drink that I heard a voice behind me.
"You know," my Dad announced. "I thought I raised you better than that."
All my joy at seeing him - it was rare that I had a ghostly visit from my dad - left as he said that, instead replaced with confusion.
"Raised me better than what?" I asked in a whisper.
"Then going around, snooping in other people's business."
My heart sank.
"What do you mean?" I got out through my closed throat.
"That Jesse kid," Dad looked at me pointedly. "And don't think I'm not going to talk to you about him, because I am."
"Dad," I brought his attention back to our original conversation. "What about Jesse?"
"Oh, yeah," he remembered. "He's all riled up that you didn't wait for him to tell you how he died."
I gulped. Okay, maybe not a dream.
"But, Dad," I tried to explain. "He had already said that the official report was a farm accident. I knew that there was something he wasn't telling me." I stopped and gave a self-depreciative chuckle. "And, you know me, always sticking my nose into other people's business."
Dad just hmmm-ed in that way that all parents do when they're disappointed.
"Well," he finally said. "Let's hope he believes that."
And then my dad was gone.
I closed my eyes at the ridiculous sensation of tears scorching my eyes. I am not going to cry. I am not.
Sighing, I made my way back upstairs, hoping against hope that I hadn't totally messed things up. Hoping that Jesse still had at least some feelings left for me.
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I had never known a school day to be so long before. Seriously, I swear Trigonometry went on for days before my next lesson began.
By the time lunch rolled around, I felt like I'd aged at least ten years - I was that tired.
And Paul really didn't help when he decided that today - after a week of 'cooling off' - it was finally time to talk about what had happened.
But what was I suppose to do? Being too tired to argue not to go, I followed Paul out of the general lunch area and into an empty hallway.
"Listen Suze," he began. "I'm sorry - you don't know how much - about the whole thing with Kelly. We met that weekend we didn't see each other and she wouldn't take no for an answer, you know?"
I snorted derisively.
"She wouldn't accept the word 'No', so you decided to sneak around, behind my back, and stick your tongue down her throat?!"
A little crude, I admit. But, hey, I was mad.
And it had the desired effect. Paul winced.
"I know how that sounds," he desperately wanted me to forgive him. I didn't see why. Now he was free to go off and make-out with anybody he liked. "But it's true."
"Sure it is." I said sarcastically before turning around and walking away from him.
"You are such a hypocrite."
His voice stopped me in my tracks and it wasn't long before I heard his heavy footsteps slam against the floor as they made the short walk over to me.
"What about you and ghost-boy?" He asked me, smoothing my hair back behind my ear from his position behind me. "You guys were obviously messing around way before Kelly came onto the scene."
My feelings concerning Jesse were already way to raw.
"That's none of your business." I stated.
"Well," he insisted, turning me to face him. "It kind of is, considering you cheated on me."
My mouth opened and closed repeatedly searching fruitlessly for words to explain myself.
"But I'm willing to forgive and forget," he stated kindly. Note the sarcasm. "And go back to where we left off."
He leaned towards me then, as if to kiss me.
"No!"
I pulled away from him as soon as I realised his plan.
"I'll never go back out with you, Paul Slater." I practically screeched. "Never! I lo-"
I stopped myself before the words came out. Not that it did any good. Paul heard them anyway.
And started laughing.
"You love him?" He repeated incredulously. "Oh, now that's rich."
Despite his mocking me, I stood my ground.
"Yes," I said. "I do. Much more then I ever did you."
Paul suddenly stopped laughing.
"We'll see about that," he spat at me before turning around, happy that his threat had been released.
"But," his voice carried on. He obviously hadn't stopped. "Maybe he doesn't love you as much as you do him."
"Of course he does," I insisted. Well, Paul didn't have to know that I kind of went behind Jesse's back and dug up all sorts of juicy secrets about his life.
"Really?" Paul asked tuning around to face me once again, this time stepping in closer to me then before. "Then how come he isn't stopping me from doing this?" He reached out a hand to trap me against a wall. "Or this?" His other hand went to cup my cheek. "Or this?"
Then he kissed me.
I kicked him away and glared at him.
"Oh yeah," Paul carried on as if nothing had happened. "I know why he didn't show up. Because he's gone."
What?
"What?!"
"He's gone," Paul repeated with a shrug. "Asked me to exorcise him because of some fight the two of you had. I agreed to help, of course. It got him away from you."
He dragged his eyes up my body.
"And it wont be long before I get you back."