Dear Cherryblossom A.K.A. Sweet Serenity
Fun fact: Why does the story have two titles you wonder? I'll tell you. The plot is loosely based on a Spanish drama story that Donny was working on. I thought it was really good so far, but she refused to finish it. So, me being the caring cousin that I am, I borrowed her story and submitted it into her fanfic account. (Which I kind of took over) I changed the plot a little to fit the Naruto characters and I tried to translate it into English. Yes, the name of her original story is "Serenidad Dulce" or "Sweet Serenity". Problem is, I have no idea what comes next.(I hate writer's block!)
Donny: Too bad for you, my cousin. I'm reclaiming the story because your English sucks, you can't translate for shit, and I'm not letting you know how it ends! (Nyah!) That's why I'm the writer and the artist of the family and you're just my shadow.
Skykat: That hurts.
Donny: I guess I should thank you, so I'm dedicating this story to you... I'm also taking back my account and trashing your bio.
I'm having a little trouble with the ending of chapter four, so I came up with this filler. This will now serve as chapter four and the next chap will be chapter five. There are some important things here, but afterward, it just gets kind of silly. (An OMAKE I think it's called?) Here's the challenge. When you get to the crazy part of the story, try reading it OUT LOUD. (To add to the challenge...make sure there are other people in the room!) You'll know when it starts.
Dawn E. "KayT" Sky
Summary: After the battle, Naruto and his fellow ninja are very down and upset. It's up to Naruto to lift their spirits and temporarily make them forget their pain.
Warning: Before you read this chapter and go "WTF!", remember I'm having trouble with the next chapter and this is just a filler. If I don't get this build up of craziness out of my head, I'm going to totally space out.
(P.S. FF won't let me insert lines. I'll have to use underlined X's for now)
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Chapter 4 The journey home. Keep your spirits up!
The trip to the medic's was an arduous one. Morning was barely over yet and each of the weary jonin and genin had to drag themselves along the lengthy trail that would take them back to the village. The sun was blaring through the trees and the scorching rays showed no mercy to the miserable shinobi practically crawling through woods. There was no covering up the atmosphere of anxiety. The jonin were upset because they were unable to catch this mysterious ninja. The genin were upset because they failed their first real "mission". Those who trained squads were upset because some of their students fled the battle scene. Some of the genin where visibly upset, others tried to hide their disappointment by re-enacting how they kicked enemy butt during the battle out side the building; a feat that would have proven to be unachievable had it been done without the help of the jonin.
Some of them had more than themselves to worry about. Neji had one arm wrapped around Tenten's shoulders and the other wrapped around her front. After receiving such a hard blow to the head, she was dizzy with fuzzy vision and unable to walk in a straight line on her own. The blood that continued to trickle from the gash on the top of her head had formed a long stream that trailed down the front of her face and dripped from her chin onto Neji's arm. Michio was still unconscious from the loss of blood and chakra and Lee walked behind everyone with the seven-year-old dangling in his arms. Kakashi and Genma spoke to each of the shinobi individually to see if they had noticed anything during the battle.
Naruto had the hardest task of having to support a majority of Sasuke's shifting weight on his shoulders. It was extremely difficult for the beaten down Uchiha heir to swallow his pride and allow himself to be helped. He tried his hardest to walk on his swollen leg as if by some miracle, simply ignoring the pain would make it go away on its own. He was able to not pay much attention to the soreness of the injury that the arrow left behind in his shoulder, but the searing pain in his leg was not so easy. With every stumble, Naruto was growing increasingly tired of his rival's inability to admit defeat.
"Quit trying to walk on it or I'm going to chop it off!" Naruto's eyes went blank and he held up his tightened fist.
"You can let go of me now." Sasuke said irately. "I think I can walk on my own."
"I got another thought for you." Naruto argued. "You're leg's broken. You're not walking anywhere on your own." Naruto was feeling Sasuke try to wiggle his way out of his hold, so he held his arm around Sasuke's waist even harder.
"My leg is not broken and I can walk on my own." Sasuke managed to push his body away from Naruto's. He hardly made one step before flinching in pain and crashing to the ground. Pretending that there was nothing wrong with his leg wasn't going to work. Why was this happening? There's no way that his leg could be broken. Things like this didn't happen to the Great Uchiha Heir…
So what if it hurts worse than the pain he felt while trapped inside Haku's crystal ice mirrors and getting stabbed with a thousand needles of death.
So what if it was almost bent in a way that should not be humanly possible for a leg to bend in.
So what if it was turning bluer than his shirt with his clan's emblem on the back.
So what if his foot was so swollen that his shoe had to be taken off because it was cutting off his circulation.
So what if he would have better luck moving the mountains with the Hokage faces craved in them than moving his own toes. There has be some other rational explanation for this. (Can anyone say "denial"?)
"For the sake of any children you that have in the future, I hope being stubborn doesn't run in the family. It doesn't take a genius to see that your leg is hurting like a bitch and your foot is pointing in a direction that can't even be found on a compass!" Naruto bent down to help Sasuke back up but Sasuke still struggled against him.
"Let me go! I can walk on my own and I don't need your help!" Sasuke glared at his rival. Was this guy for real? Naruto wondered. There must be a major chapter in the "How to be a Successful Uchiha" handbook that covered how not to accept the aid of others without being a bitchy crab to everyone offering it. Sasuke would sooner loose all four of his limbs before he'd finally confess that he needed help.
Sasuke was too stubborn for his own good. Sure, this falls under the category of teamwork, but to him, showing any sign of weakness was a curse. No matter how large or minuscule the weakness may be, ANY form of weakness would almost always lead to failure. But then again, there is the whole thing involving his last battle with his brother…no, that wasn't weakness. That was stealth. There was no way that weakness of any form would be tolerated. This was why he was able to rescue his friends countless times, why he was able to become the greatest ninja in the village, and why he was able to defeat his brother.
There are not a lot of similarities in the way Naruto viewed the subject. Everyone has a weakness and there was no hiding from that. Sasuke had weaknesses. In fact, he had too many to count. Little does Sasuke know that he was showing one of his weaknesses that very moment. His unsuccessful attempts at walking on his own, the frustrated growls that he made every time he stumbled, the sweat that rolled down his tensed face… only served to prove that Sasuke was feeling that his masculinity was in jeopardy. He has a fear of one day not being strong enough to carry his own weight. That was a weakness. It was true that they both had different perceptions of the issue. This was one of the many reasons that Naruto made the perfect counter balance to his former teammate.
"Won't you ever accept the fact that you're inclined to rely on others for help sometimes? Why do you have to be so obsessed with trying to prove that you're so strong? You're more obsessive now than you were when you were training to kill your brother!" Naruto pulled Sasuke off the ground and once again held tightly onto his body.
"I was not obsessive." Sasuke said defensively. Naruto's accusation gave Sasuke something else to think about. There are a lot of words to describe Sasuke's quest to destroy his brother. But obsessive? Just because it was his life's goal… his only reason for living…his sole purpose in life…his burning desire…the last thing he thought about before he went to bed…the first thing he thought about when he woke up…the constant gnawing in the back of his mind…the only reason he stooped to kissing the ass of that snake freak of nature…that doesn't mean he was obsessive. He was an avenger. There are definitely a lot of words to describe Sasuke's quest to destroy his brother. "Obsessive" certainly was not one of them. (Once again, denial rears its ugly head.)
"Not obsessive? Oh please!", Naruto shouted. "All you ever did was talk about annihilating a 'certain someone'. I bet if you could have figured out how to do it, you would have found some way to off him, and then bring him back to life so that you could off him again! Now, all you ever do with your free time is find new ways to torment your brother. I'm sure you have your 'special weapon' in your pocket now!" Naruto waited for a reaction but got nothing. Sasuke had no reason to react because Naruto was right. Sasuke sometimes kept a black magic marker in his pocket. This was his favorite weapon to use on Itachi while he slept. Boy, did Sasuke wish he could have seen the look on Itachi's face when he woke up to find the word "EMASCULATED" printed on his forehead.
"Is everything alright back here?" Kakashi asked, slowing his pace so that the stragglers behind him would have a chance to reach him.
"We're doing okay here." Naruto answered despite Sasuke's obvious appearance of utter failure.
"Good. I need to ask you a few questions. Did you manage to get a good look at the ninja's face?" Kakashi asked, beginning his interrogation.
"It was covered with a mask." Naruto recalled. "All we saw were the eyes. They were unreal."
"They were glowing red." Sasuke cut in. "The eyes looked so familiar, but I can't figure out where I've seen them before." Sasuke stared down at his bad foot. "When I looked into his eyes, my mind just got so mystified. I found myself barely able to keep up with him as we fought. Somehow he completely dodged everything I threw at him."
"The same thing with me." Naruto responded. "I was getting so confused that I had to fight to keep my Red Chakra under control."
Kakashi asked his next question. "Did you notice anything odd about the way this person attacked?"
"He used my clan's fire jutsu technique." Sasuke said with a hint of astonishment in his voice. "There's no way he could have learned that unless…" Sasuke paused.
"Unless what?" Naruto asked.
"Unless he comes from a bloodline with similar fire style jutsu techniques. I didn't think very many existed outside of my clan." Sasuke was bewildered. He was positive that he had never seen this ninja before, but at the same time he could almost recognize the ninja's eyes. He knew that other clans could very well have developed some forms of fire style jutsu, but he remembered seeing the ninja make the hand signs before he blacked out. That's when Sasuke realized that they were exactly the same as the hand signs his clan used.
"This has happened before." Kakashi told them. "Some time ago ten jonin from another village were killed while this ninja was present. The ones that witnessed what happened reported the same thing."
"You mean that story was true?" Naruto's outburst and a sudden jolt in his body caused Sasuke lose his balance and hit the ground again. "Oops. Sorry about that." Naruto helped Sasuke get back on his foot.
"I'm afraid so." Kakashi said. "Genma and I have asked some of the genin what they saw. None of them can remember clearly. This is an unusually skilled ninja that we're dealing with."
"Sasuke sensei?" One of the older members of Sasuke's came up to him. "Is you leg going to be alright? Can you walk on it at all?"
"Get away from me." Sasuke growled. The young ninja embarrassingly hung his head low rejoined his group of fellow genin. Sasuke was mad; through it was hard for them to tell precisely what he was mad at. "Where's the boy?" he asked a few seconds later.
"He's with Lee." Kakashi responded. "He looks pretty bad, but at least he's still breathing. We stopped his bleeding for now." Sasuke looked back. It hurt him to see the once energetic and adventurous little genin just hanging lifelessly in Lee's arms with his entire front covered in his own blood. Michio had to have stared death in the face right up until the moment he was stabbed. Sasuke didn't want to see him die. Nor he did he want to think of the agony his youngest student must have been in before he passed out from the loss of so much blood.
"Don't worry about him." Naruto assured. "As soon as we get back, Sakura and Tsunade will take good care of him. Then, we'll get Ino and she'll take care of you." Naruto looked over his shoulder and watched as Lee staggered far behind the rest of the group, not bothered by the fact that even Naruto and a limping Sasuke were traveling faster than he was.
"Naruto," Chouji said walking along the other side of Sasuke. "I think you should go talk to him. I'll take over keeping Sasuke off his foot."
"You're right. I'm on it." Naruto let go of Sasuke and went back to where Lee was. "Hey, Lee…I…thanks. Thanks for helping me --US out of the building." Lee smiled at Naruto with his trademark mile long toothy "nice guy" smile-- complete with the little split-second star-shaped twinkle on his teeth--but Naruto could easily tell it was an act. Lee's eyes alone said that he wasn't feeling like much of a hero and Naruto was actually beginning to feel sorry for him. He almost wished that Sakura didn't hurt him so badly by blowing him off the way she did. ("Almost" being the key word.)
When Naruto felt that he said all that he could say to Lee, sped up in order to catch up to Sasuke again, but was stopped when Sasuke's two genin called his name.
"What's with Sasuke sensei? Is he mad at us?" One of them asked with a look of regret. "He's not looking at us and he won't even let me talk to him."
"You know your sensei." Naruto replied. "He's just being Sasuke…expressionless, indifferent, introverted, pain in the ass to everyone Sasuke. But I'm sure once he hears how well you fought, he'll tell you how proud of you he is."
"I think that's the problem. I didn't fight. I-I ran away and I can't remember why." The genin said sadly. His eyes were watering but he tried to hold back his tears and take after his sensei by refusing to show his true emotions.
"I'll go talk to him." Naruto once again sped up his pace and caught up to Sasuke and Chouji. "Your squad thinks you're mad at them, Sasuke. What should I tell them?"
"Tell them that they failed me and the team." Sasuke said while focusing on his foot. "My squad is the top of their class and one of the best in the village. How could they runaway like that?"
"They got scared and they choked." Naruto explained. "It happens to all the genin."
"Not to mine." Sasuke snapped. "I will not accept weakness in my squad." (In other words, they were going to GET IT during their next training session.) Naruto hated the fact that old sourpuss Sasuke was looking down on his team. Sasuke's actions took Naruto back to when he was often looked down on because of stupid mistakes. Those weren't the best memories. It's just not right to burden a young ninja in training with the same mind-set of worthlessness.
"You're one to talk. Who just got his butt kicked?" Naruto pointed out for the solitary purpose of making Sasuke feel stupid. "From what I remember you went sailing into a nearby wall." (Naruto may have had something to do with making Sasuke drop his guard, but it's unlike an Uchiha to make excuses and put the blame on someone else.)
"You're looking banged up yourself." Sasuke said, noticing the bruises that covered Naruto's body.
"That happened when I was getting pummeled with falling bricks while trying to carry your heavy incapacitated ass out of the building." It didn't take much for Naruto to pick up that reminding Sasuke of how he got in this current position could lead to another session of verbal blows. Perhaps giving him something better to think about will help him out of this apparently genetically programmed grouchy mood for a little while. What could be better than one's own woman? "Judging from those fingernail shaped scars on your arms, I bet when Ino sees you all black and blue, she's going to finish the job. Right, Chouji?"
"Ino's not like that." Chouji retorted. "She would never get violent with Sasuke. I know she's a wonderful girl and the perfect wife…oh goodness, I can't say that with a straight face!"
"You're not helping, Akimichi!" Naruto scowled but somewhat laughed at the same time.
"I know Ino's a good person." Chouji said. " The problem is she's bossy. And she's possessive. And she's competitive. And there's the whole thing about her looks. We all know that she can't pass a mirror without gazing at her reflection. Well, a mirror… a store window… the lenses on dark sunglasses…" Chouji paused to think for a bit.
"Metal spoons… bald guys with shiny heads… mud puddles and anything else that contains water..." Naruto continued. He was only joking, but he soon realized that he wasn't helping things either. "But she's still a wonderful wife isn't she, Sasuke?" It wasn't too much of a surprise that Sasuke didn't say anything. Naruto never did expect that Sasuke would answer that question.
Naruto stopped and surveyed the scene for a few seconds. The whole scene was too depressing. Everyone was either grieving or paying more attention to the ground than what was directly ahead of them. He imagined that Sasuke probably hadn't had a good laugh ever since his brother smoked his entire family. It was now up to Naruto to lift everyone's spirits and try to liven things up. Hopefully engaging in a little casual conversation could get things going. "Have you heard from Inuzuka Kiba recently?" He asked once he caught back up to Sasuke and Chouji.
"Last I heard he got a girlfriend but broke up with her a few weeks before he lost his dog." Chouji answered.
"No one knows what happened to his dog?" Naruto asked, astonished that the close, yet questionable, relationship between the ninja and his ever-present four legged companion had come to such an abrupt halt.
"No one has a clue." There was a deafening silence and gloomy expressions all around. Time to find something else to talk about.
"When I'm Hokage, there's going to be a lot of changes around here."
"You're still hell-bent on becoming the next Hokage?" Chouji asked passively, unwillingly going along with Naruto's feeble attempts at trying to strike up another conversation. "Do you think you're going to make it?"
"I made it to jonin didn't I?"
"But now you're on the suicide squad, right? Or as we call it 'the squad that's useless for anything else.'"
"First Sasuke, then Neji, now you. Enough with that stupid joke! It's really getting old!"
"I still find it hard to believe that they even let you be a teacher when you became a chunin." No one would ever admit that Naruto was actually a pretty good teacher when he became a chunin and was put in charge of a class. Unfortunately, Naruto was mostly seen as a legend and idolized because of his past as a troublemaker. He was also highly influential and his students wanted to be just like the old him. This meant there was a high demand for learning his famous sexy-no-jutsu technique. He soon got tired of being tied down to a classroom after teaching a little over a year. Once he saw enough harem- no- jutsu shadow clones to make Ebisu's nose bleed buckets for months, Naruto learned to hate his prized jutsu. All of Konoha heaved a collective sigh of relief when he was promoted to jonin, thereby freeing the village of the possibility of classes upon classes full of ramen inhaling, sexy- no- jutsu creating, prank pulling Narutos.
"I will be the next Hokage. Just wait and see." Naruto said confidently.
"We've heard enough, Naruto." Sasuke moaned. "This is no time to be going on about your ridiculous fantasies."
Naruto planted his feet firmly in the ground as watched as everyone steadily walked further ahead of him. He didn't exactly know what more to do to make his comrades temporarily forget their troubles aside from breaking out into a song and dance routine. That wouldn't have been a bad idea if only he had learned background music -no-jutsu. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that all he could expect to get out of that idea was a few projectiles chucked at his head along with a "Your untalented ass is not getting paid to sing" look from Kakashi. Another idea popped into his head. Why not use his black haired comrade's crabby personality to his advantage?
"Hey Sasuke! Hey Sasuke! Hey Sasuke! Check it! Check it! Check it! I got it! I got it! I got it!"
"I hate it, hate it, hate it when you talk like that." Sasuke said as Naruto joyfully ran up to him.
"Oooo, look who's getting all touchy- touchy." Naruto said flirtatiously. "You see how he's getting all touchy-touchy, Chouji?" Chouji smiled but Sasuke still had his look of indifference.
"Yeah, maybe he's little touchy- touchy." Chouji seemed to understand what Naruto was doing but wasn't too sure if he wanted to go along with it.
"Too touchy- touchy for me anyway. Maybe it's because it's too hard for him to walk without the both of us helping him." Naruto said through squinted eyes. "I think we could help him walk faster if we were to be more feely- feely than touchy- touchy."
"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asked, knowing that whenever Naruto started acting like a total goofball nothing good ever came of it.
"You're touchy- touchy, so we'll be touchy-touchy too. Or would you rather us be more feely- feely than touchy- touchy?" Naruto mused. Even though Sasuke was ignoring him, Naruto boldly kept going. "I bet if Ino were here, there'd be a lot of touchy-touchy, feely-feely." Sasuke was still being a crab, so Naruto took his plan to a higher level. He slightly leaned closer to Sasuke's ear and whispered, "and perhaps even a little stiffy- stiffy." Sasuke's eyes bulged as Naruto playfully licked the very tip of his earlobe. Sasuke flailed his free arm in an attempt to knock Naruto in the head, but Naruto successfully dodged Sasuke's fist.
"See, Chouji?" Naruto said. "Now he's trying to get all touchy-touchy, feely-feely with me! I think he's keeping a secret that Ino should know about!" Naruto raked his fingers up from the base of Sasuke's neck to the top of his head. "You know your head looks like the back end of a chicken?"
Sasuke jerked his head away from Naruto's hand. "That's enough!" He barked.
"Aw, you don't like me getting touchy-touchy? Maybe a little more feely- feely would suit your taste. What do you think, Chouji?" Naruto was desperate to have Chouji get involved with what he was doing.
"Just let me hit him once!" Sasuke pleaded to Chouji, who was restraining Sasuke's attempt to attack Naruto by holding on too tightly for him to move.
"It's funny to see you get all hoppy- hoppy on that leg." Naruto kept teasing Sasuke by poking at his hand every time Sasuke unsuccessfully tried to hit him. "Touchy-touchy. Huh Chouji?"
"Touchy-touchy? Uh…feely-feely?" Chouji was backed into a corner by his relentless cohort and had to choice but to start talking in doubled vocabulary. May as well have a little fun with it. "You're getting a little feely-feely too, Naruto."
Kakashi was listening to Naruto and Chouji's crazy talk, so he got closer to see exactly what was going on. "Why are you talking like that, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, once again scratching his face.
"Looks like Kakashi sensei's still got the scratchy- scratchy!" Naruto laughed.
"Ha! Ha! Scratchy-scratchy because he's itchy- itchy!" Chouji couldn't believe what he was getting himself into, nor could he believe that he was beginning to like it.
Naruto grinned annoyingly. "No, it's Icha- Icha!" Getting the chance to aggravate his former sensei was an added bonus. Things were going better than Naruto thought.
Chouji chuckled. "Icha -Icha, itchy -itchy?" (A/N: Say that three times fast!)
"Itchy-itchy and Icha-Icha! I know why he's itchy- itchy! He's itchy-itchy for more 'Icha-Icha' " the fox-boy said aloud.
"Why do I even bother?" Kakashi rolled his exposed eye and left the three alone to continue their brief lapses into twelve-year-old idiots with the combined IQ of a package of ramen noodles. One can expect Naruto to act like this every now and then, but how in the world did he manage to recruit Chouji? Some questions are best left unanswered.
"So what do you think Naruto, should we do touchy-touchy, feely-feely?" Chouji asked.
"Yeah, touchy-touchy, feely-feely!" Naruto responded. Naruto took Sasuke's free arm and draped it over his shoulder.
"I hope the both of you realize that if you touch or feel anything there will be a risk of severe consequences." Sasuke growled.
"So it will be a risky- risky, touchy- touchy, feely- feely. Maybe we should do this quickie- quickie." Naruto slowly snaked his hand down Sasuke's back. "A quickie- quickie, touchy- touchy, feely- feely won't be so risky- risky."
"Keep it above the waistline, Uzumaki." Sasuke gave Naruto a hostile look.
"Sorry. I can't do that." Naruto said deviously. What was he up to and why was his hand trailing down like that? Yet again, some questions are best left unanswered…too bad this wasn't one of them.
"Me neither." Chouji said while he followed suite and slowly slid his hand down Sasuke's back.
"Stop that!" Sasuke yelled quickly with his eyelid quivering. The pair of hands traveling down his back were getting way too low. The two ninja were not even trying to avoid sliding their hands down his backside. He attempted to pull away from them again, but they weren't allowing him to go anywhere.
"Maybe we're getting too touchy- touchy for him." Chouji acknowledged. "Should we still get a risky- risky, quickie- quickie, touchy- touchy, feely- feely?" Both Naruto and Chouji's arms continued to slide down Sasuke's back until they reached the backs of his thighs and interlocked together. "Remember, Sasuke is tricky. We'll have to be twice as tricky!"
"Tricky-tricky, lifty-lifty?" Naruto asked.
"Tricky-tricky, lifty-lifty." Chouji responded.
"All right!" Naruto exclaimed. "This will be one crazy-crazy, risky-risky, tricky-tricky, quickie-quickie, touchy-touchy, feely-feely, lifty- lifty!"
The genin were watching the whole thing and many of them were cracking a few smiles. Even Kakashi, Neji, Tenten, and the other jonin were smiling despite their physical pain and mental anguish. Sasuke now understood what these problematic males were plotting and he tried to squirm away from them.
"All right get ready, Chouji…" Naruto said slyly. "One…"
"Don't you dare!" Sasuke warned, but it was too late.
Naruto counted to three and the two hoisted Sasuke's body in the air. Sasuke was really feeling embarrassed and awkward. Not only because he was being carried like a princess who refused to walk on the ground in fear of getting her satin shoes dirty, but also because the others were roaring with laughter at the sight of the Great Uchiha Heir seated in between Naruto and Chouji's interlocked arms. He was now their plaything. This is no way for an Uchiha to be treated.
"Put me down!" Sasuke yelled.
"Sounds like you don't like the way we carry you. Are you getting picky?" Naruto roared with laughter. " I think he's getting picky- picky"
"Yeah" Chouji agreed. "He's picky-picky."
"Picky-picky over our crazy-crazy, risky-risky, tricky-tricky, quickie-quickie, touchy-touchy, feely-feely, lifty- lifty!" Naruto barely got that sentence out because of all the laughing. "He's getting a little shifty-shifty--
"Say one more of those stupid things and I'll rip your tongue out of your head!" Sasuke interrupted with a shout.
"Bitchy- bitchy." Naruto muttered quietly, but loud enough for Sasuke to hear.
Sasuke grumbled. If Chouji and Naruto had the ability to perform some sort of special mind reading jutsu, they would probably hear "I fucking hate the both of you" flashing through Sasuke's mind among an increasing number of homicidal thoughts.
"I would think that you like getting the royal treatment once again." Naruto said jokingly. "Admit it, you miss that life of crazed fangirls and boot-licking lackeys!" Naruto's assumptions were almost true, but not to the extent that he was making them out to be. Sasuke clearly would rather be forced to hop on his bad leg all the way back to the village than be carried around. Naruto played into this also. "You can let go if you like." he smirked. "You'll only fall over backwards and hurt your precious Uchiha body. You may even crack your skull!" Naruto was having way too much fun with this.
"What would Tsunade-sama think if she saw us carry Sasuke in like this?" Chouji asked.
Naruto thought for a minute. She'd be walking in with her low cut shirt--her very, very, VERY low cut shirt—take one look at princess Sasuke and his two self-appointed flunkies and find the whole thing hysterical. "She'd probably laugh until her teeth fell out. That would make it, what, the second time this month?"
"You know she's going to surprise you one day and get back at you for these age jokes." Chouji cautioned. "Are you forgetting the suppository insistent? What did she say they'd do to you anyway?"
"You don't want to know." Naruto said, trying to fight off the horrible flashbacks of Tsunade's threatening revenge in the form of hot pepper suppositories. Thank goodness she hasn't done it yet. "I don't have anything to worry about. Granny Tsunade and I have a very special understanding. Don't you agree, picky-picky?"
Sasuke sighed in frustration. He'd go nuts if he tried to understand the childish antics of Uzumaki Naruto. With any luck, if he just pretended not to listen, all of the foolishness would disappear. Sasuke soon came to realize that was too much to hope for. Who knew foolishness was contagious?
"Picky-picky, tricky-tricky!" The genin began to shout. " I can say it faster than all of you!" They all joined in a contest of who can say picky-picky, quickie-quickie, sticky…(BLEH) the fastest. They even garbled out of few made up words that could only be pronounced by the ever-flexible prepubescent tongue.
Naruto's mission was accomplished. Spirits were lifted and the shinobi were smiling. Naruto eyed the fruits of his labor. "A job well done...almost." Sasuke was still being Sasuke. Oh well. Bitchy-bitchy crabby-crabby was just going to have to suffer for a little while. He turned to Kakashi to see if his silliness had any effect on him. It was hard to tell because of the mask that covered three fourths of his face. He decided to just ask.
"Hey, itchy-itchy Kakashi sensei! How are you feeling now?"
"Damn, I could go for some sake-sake." Kakashi said under his breath.
"That's the spirit!" Naruto raised his fist in triumph.
"I'm in no way, shape, or form following you up. I'm just going to need twice as much sake than usual to forget what just happened."
"Make them STOP!" Sasuke shouted. He couldn't stand the aggravating sounds of the genin reciting heinously infuriating rhymes that echoed throughout the woods. The adults just laughed. Naruto did it again. He found a way to annoy Sasuke to no end for the thousandth time. But this time Sasuke didn't have that urge to kill him--hurt him a little, but not kill him. Sasuke gave in and put his mind at ease for the time being… that was the effect that Naruto's good-hearted nature had on him. Now if only the genin would just SHUT UP! His sanity was spiraling out of control and falling to pieces again. Sasuke gritted his teeth. For the rest of the trip, he was constantly tormented with the seemingly endless tongue twisters of his fellow shinobi.
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A/N: I'm kind of happy- happy with this chappy- chappy. Okay I'm going to stop now. Yeah, I know. It sounds kind of like something Dr. Seuss would write (if he were both strung out on crack and drunk out of his mind) But I really got inspired by FLCL. The next chap will get back on track, I PROMISE. If for some odd reason you like this chap and would like for me to do others like it, I'd be glad to. If not, well, I guess I won't. Until the next chap!
-Dawn E. "KayT" Sky-
Itachi enters the room.
Itachi: I'm here to kill the author.
Donny: OMG it's Itachi! He's so hot! I'm going to faint! (Passes out)
SkyKat: ...She's the author.
Itachi: She's on the floor. I guess I'll have to kill you instead.
SkyKat: Gulp (runs)