Past mistakes

Warning: the rape continues here, skip the first line, if you don't want to read it...

Rate: T, may change in next chapters.

Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing

Chapter four - First murder

"Come on, sweetie, it will be fun." Treize touched his goal with the top of his fingers, making her cry in pain and powerlessness.

"Please, Treize, don't do this to me," she begged him. He sat a bit up and stared at her. Maybe he was thinking, maybe, maybe. "Please, stop..."

But his lips curled up into a mean smile. "No, no, I won't let this opportunity go."

She tried again to release herself from him, but he blocked every attack coming from her. Her coordination wasn't good anymore due to the drink giving him the upper hand.

"Behave yourself a bit, Miss," he threatened when he was fed up with her attacks. "The consequences could be worser."

While he was busy pulling her dress up, Relena stared at the ceiling. Sweat was gleaming all over her body and face.

She'd lost.

She was lost.

Relena closed her eyes and felt how fresh; hot tears fell down her temples again. She'd never imagined that her first one - no, that actually no one beside Trowa she would sleep with. And now... She began to cry hysterically, catching him off guard.

"Quiet, bitch," he shouted angrily at her.

Suddenly they heard a loud crack. Before Treize could even react of the sound, he was pulled off from the helpless girl lying under him. Relena was at first too shocked to do anything. She was half conscious of the fact that she was hearing noises of someone being beated up. By the growls of pain she could vaguely conclude that it was Treize who was being beated up by someone. Her headache was worsening every second.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Relena saw a hand being stretched out to her. When she finally recognised the ring on the finger, Relena grabbed the hand immediately.

Trowa helped her standing up. He glared at Treize while he had his arm around Relena's waist. Relena was still shaking violently and stared blankly down at the man who was sitting in the corner of the room and was still growling in pain.

"Everything is fine, princess. Don't worry," Trowa whispered reassuring her. Softly he stroked her hair. She just nodded though his words never reached her brains.

"And you," Trowa raised his voice, turning his head again in the direction of the other man. "Stay away from her, if you want to live. Got that!" he threatened to the crouched man.

Relena was in a daze and didn't even notice that they were in the big hall again. Fortunaly no one paid attention to them. Still with his arm around her waist they walked towards the exit. They were about to exit the room when they heard a loud voice that stopped them. Relena's heart was beating rapidly in her chest. Slowly she raised her head to look up to her fiancée. He was glaring at the tall man standing opposite them at the other side of the room.

Treize stumbled in the room towards the couple. Anger was flowing out of his eyes. Just like Trowa's eyes. The people in the party were all shocked to see the Treize Khushrenada in this state.

Relena felt how Trowa tightened his grip around her waist. Now that she'd recovered a bit from the shock, she saw in what state Treize really was.

He'd put his white shirt on again. Probably to hide the bruises that Trowa must've made. His hair was unruly and completely a mess. He'd a black eye and blood was dripping down from the corner of his mouth. Treize had also a few scratches on his face and on his large hands. You would know at once that there had been something gone terribly wrong. And simply said: he was looking horrible.

"Do not think you'll get away with this." His voice rasped.

Relena was looking in horror at him.

"I see, you didn't have enough." Trowa sighed. He began to put his sleeves up. He took a step towards Treize and wanted to take another one when his fiancée suddenly stopped him. Relena laid her hand on his arm. Surprised Trowa turned his head back to her.

"Relena…" Her face was still pale and she was staring at Treize. Trowa had no idea what was going on in her mind. "Please Trowa, let's go…" she pleaded him.

He blinked. "Relena… this man here almost – "

"Please," she whispered. She was near to crying again. "Let's go."

Trowa sighed. "Ok," and turned his head to the man he'd just beaten up. "You've luck, bastard, but next time, I won't spare you."

All the people in the party gasped but didn't dare to say anything. Relena tugged softly at his muscular arm. He flung his arm round her shoulders and continued walking back to the exit.

"I will kill you," a voice suddenly said.

Relena felt herself stiffen. She stopped walking.

"I will kill you," Treize threatened again, his voice rising even more. "I will kill you, Barton."

"We'll see about that." Trowa said coldly without looking back. He forced Relena to walk further.

'I'll kill you… I'll kill you… I'll kill you…'

His words were the entire time spinning round in her head. Trowa opened the door of his car and made her sit in it. He hurried to the other side and stepped in the car too. Quickly he drove away from the party. They didn't talk to whole ride.

Relena stared out the window. What just had happened… it was like a dream, no. Like a nightmare. Now she was having even nightmares with her eyes open. Relena felt herself shiver again when she remembered the threat Treize had given to Trowa. And that damn head of hers was aching like hell…

Trowa's eyes were mainly aimed at the road, but he glanced from time to time at the silent girl sitting next to him. She was still in a shock. It must've been horrible for her. Almost getting ra- He swallowed and tightened his grip on the steer. He'll teach that bastard Treize a lesson. A lesson he would never forget. Not now, but he'll for sure.

Relena didn't even realize when they arrived at her house. She wasn't even aware that the car had been stopped.

Trowa got out of his car to help Relena out. He walked over to the other side and by opening the door he saw her sitting. She was still staring. Her head tilted and her eye lids half closed. Trowa felt a strange heat in his eyes when he found her sitting like this. She'd been only like this when…

He pushed his thoughts far away and grabbed her hand. Then like she'd just woken up, Relena looked up. It was like he couldn't breathe anymore. She was crying. Her lower lip was trembling. Tears were slowly sliding down her cheeks. And her eyes…

Trowa helped her out of the car. And hugged her. He felt like he would squeeze all the breath out of her. So tightly he pressed her body against his. He heard her gasp softly. Her body was stiff at first but slowly it relaxed in his arms. He pulled away a little to look in her eyes. She looked at bit calm now, to his relief. He stroke the blond locks out of her face. Relena looked up to him. Her eyes… there was so much pain in it… so much that he couldn't bare it anymore to look straight in her eye. And there was more. There had been something more in her beautiful, innocent, blue eyes.

Fear.

Trowa frowned. For what would she be afraid now? He'd saved her, beaten up that man. He was now with her… What would she be afraid at this moment?

"Relena," Trowa saw how fresh tears escaped her eyes. Quickly he brushed them away. "Everything will be all right," he assured her. "Everything." Trowa saw her lower lip tremble again. "Relena…"

Silently she laid her head on his shoulder. The warm breeze of the spring blew through their hair.

"He… he threatened to kill you…" he could make out from the whisper.

So this was what was occupying her mind all the time. He could imagine that she was worried. She'd lost so much already in her life…

"Nothing will happen to me," he made her lift her head up with his hand demanding her to look in his green eyes. "He can do nothing. He's a coward. He can only bark, he can't bite." He gave her again a reassuring smile. Trowa noted that there was still some doubt in her eyes. Relena glanced away. He sighed. How had he to convince her?

Gently he cupped her face in his hands. His voice was full of determination. "Don't worry about me, princess. I can care very well for myself. And about you too. You saw how impotent he was against me? Nothing will happen to me. I promise."

He promised rarely. Everyone believed his words, most people knew that they could rely on him. So there had been no point in promising often. It made the one unreliable too. Trowa made only promises if there was no other way to convince the people. And sometimes too when he wanted to believe that he was able to do it. To make it come true.

Relena laid silently her head again on his shoulder. Trowa shook his head slightly. What was wrong with her? Suddenly he heard a gentle whirr. Trowa sighed when he remembered finally that Relena had been dizzy and had been wobbling all the time. That bastard Treize must've mixed something for sure in her glass.

Slowly he began to walk towards the big house. Careful enough to wake her up. The old trustable servant Paygan was already standing in the doorway. Trowa saw the old man panic by seeing Relena leaning against Trowa with her eyes fully closed now.

"What's wrong with Mi-" His voice was full of worries.

"Nothing, Paygan. She's just… tired. I'll bring her to her room."

He passed the old man after trying to reassure him that his mistress was fine. Trowa saw that the older man still wasn't fully convinced, but Paygan only nodded his head and closed the door behind the couple.

It was difficult to carry her up the flight of stairs to her room. Not that Trowa found her heavy. She wasn't helping him what made everything more and more difficult. With great difficulty he managed to get to her room without slipping and falling from the stairs.

Cautiously Trowa laid her on her king size bed. Watching her peaceful face now that she was asleep, he remembered Treize again. And all the events earlier in the evening. Trowa closed his eyes trying to control his raising anger. What would've happened if he had been too late? Already knowing the answer he opened his eyes again.

'She would never be able to live with that… too…'

"I won't let you get hurt," Trowa whispered to her sleeping form while he was sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. He stroke a few strands of her blonde, silky hair out of her face.

"Not again, my princess."

o0o

"What the hell is THIS!"

Disturbed from her papers Relena looked up. Her 'dear' secretary was glaring at her. She was looking quite angry. When Relena saw the newspaper in Dorothy's hand she knew at once why. Relena suppressed a sigh. She leaned back in her luxurious arm chair still staring at her furious secretary. She decided to act like she was unaware of what was written in the paper.

"Where's the fire, Dorothy? Relax, what's wrong? Why are you yelling this early in the morning?" Relena was afraid her secretary would explode of anger.

"Why I am yelling!" her secretary shouted back. "Because of this!" she held the news paper at Relena's eye level. "This is why I am yelling this early in the morning."

Dorothy threw the paper on Relena's desk. It landed on the papers Relena had been studying. Relena glanced at the paper then looked back at her in black dressed secretary. She leaned forward in her chair to look in the today's newspaper after seeing the glaring eyes of Dorothy.

"So, you do read the newspaper, Dorothy. You've surprised me, I must say," she said while studying the newspaper.

Her secretary had already found the right page. Relena smiled after reading the advertisement again. She had no idea why she was feeling so happy at seeing her secretary being so upset.

"How dare you to ask for a new secretary while I'm still here! I didn't resign. Nor have you discharged me. So what's the point of this."

Dorothy eyed at the newspaper that was still lying still untouched on her boss' desk then she peered angrily at Relena again.

"Well, Dorothy… you want to hear the truth?" Her voice was still calm while she stared at the standing woman. Then she snapped. "You know what Dorothy? I'm sick of your behaviour. Always seeing those cold eyes of yours… hearing your cold, emotionless words. Don't you think it's quite logical I'll look for a new secretary."

Relena felt how her anger calmed down again slightly after overpowering her. Dorothy was looking unnerved by this statement but recovered quickly.

"Yet you've no reason to fire me. You can't fire me without a good reason." By smiling satisfied Dorothy thought she'd won this battle, but by seeing the smile on Relena's face, her own one disappeared.

"Actually, my dear Dorothy, I've plenty of reasons to fire you. And GOOD reasons. I've noticed that someone is withdrawing money from my bank account for a very long time."

Relena saw the other woman swallow. Dorothy stared terrified at the other woman sitting behind the desk. "And only to days ago I found out who it was. It was… YOU! Yes Dorothy, it was you. And I've enough evidence to proof that it was you."

Relena saw how dangerously the woman was trembling. Her forehead was full of sweat. Somehow Relena felt mercy for her. Leaning back in her chair while watching her trembling secretary, she spoke again in a reassuring voice.

"Don't worry Dorothy, I won't give you to the police," she saw the surprised look in Dorothy's eyes. "Well, I won't hand you over, but only for the sake of this company. It may ruin its name, Dorothy. So don't think I'm having pity on you."

When her secretary was satisfied that she won't be given to the police, she turned to her old self and snarled.

"Don't think Relena I'll stay here for a minute! I'm resigning now!"

"Well, as you wish Dorothy."

Her secretary exited the room, shutting the door loudly, heading to her own cabin. At least for one minute more. Relena sighed and shook her head after Dorothy had left.

"Some people never change," she thought aloud.

"Are you talking about Dorothy?"

Relena looked surprised up to see her fiancé standing in the doorway.

"Hmm." She was in no mood to talk about her with Trowa. Relena saw her fiancé approaching her.

"I heard your conversation," he said while he pulled out a chair to sit. Relena lowered her eye brows.

"How dare you, Trowa, to listen to other people's conversations," she said though she wasn't meaning a word of it.

Relena was already happy she didn't have to explain him anything, since he already knew everything about her. And she was happy that he was now here with her, keeping her company. He smiled a bit, but then made his face look serious again.

"You'll have a problem if she will leave now, won't you?"

Relena sighed, knowing it was the truth. He knew her problem. He knew her damn too good.

"Yeah."

"And you can't stop her."

"… No, I won't stop her. I know it'll be useless. And she will get too cocky too," she explained. She saw him think

"You won't be able to find a good secretary that soon."

"I actually hadn't expected that she would read it so soon," Relena admitted.

"Hmm, but now it is a problem. Maybe… maybe I can help."

Relena knit her eye brows hearing Trowa's words. She stroke her blonde hair out of her face in confusion.

"How – how do you think you can help me?" As an answer Trowa smirked.

"I can ask her to stay a few days until you've a new secretary."

"Do you think she will listen?" Relena asked him hopefully.

"Of course she'll. I am going to talk to her. You stay here."

"No, I'll go too." Relena insisted. She didn't like the idea very much of him talking alone with her secretary. She saw her fiancé lower on of his thin eye brows.

"Well, okay then. She's after all your secretary."

Relena laughed.

"Actually I wish she wasn't."

"Come on, she can't be that bad.

Five minutes later they reached Dorothy's cabin. Dorothy stood up at once when they entered the cabin she had been sitting.

"Here," she said shortly and wanted to hand over the resignation letter to Relena. But Trowa seized it from Dorothy's hand. Relena's ex-secretary looked in surprise up to Trowa. He smiled and spoke.

"You don't have to resign, Dorothy. Not yet." His voice was warm and the look in his eyes soft. Relena knew one thing for sure: she didn't like the way he spoke and looked at Dorothy. But well, he was helping her...

"But… b – but," Dorothy stuttered.

"Please stay here for a few days more."

Relena thought Trowa was trying to hypnotize her 'sweet' ex-secretary. But she knew better. Dorothy had a big crush on her fiancé ever since she'd met him. Trowa could be right that he is able to convince Dorothy to stay, though Relena didn't want her to stay. But she'd no other choice for the moment. She couldn't wait that long for a good secretary.

Trowa and his fiancée saw the other woman think.

"But – but I'm no use anymore. Than why…?"

Trowa laid silently his hand on Dorothy's one. She stared for a long moment at his hand covering her own one.

"Please," he pleaded her. "Just a few more days. Not more."

Dorothy closed her eyes and nodded her head in agreement.

Relena took a relieved breath. Trowa retreated his hand slowly. Then he took a step back from the desk to Relena again. However when Dorothy opened her eyes and looked up to Relena, her eyes were as cold as ever. Relena felt herself shiver again. Shit, it'd been maybe a very very bad idea.

"Come little princess, we'll have some lunch outside."

Why did Dorothy hate her so much? Only because of Trowa?

o0o

"I think I was much better off without her," Relena saw how Trowa raised his head up from his lunch to look at her, but she avoided his gaze. Relena stared instead at her lunch. She wasn't feeling hungry anymore. From the corners of her eyes she saw Trowa shoving his food aside. Surprisingly he took her hands in his own ones.

"Relena, it's just a matter of a few days. Try to bear it with her. You've worked already one year together. Just a few days more, okay?"

Relena looked up and smiled. Could she say no? "Thanks Trowa."

Trowa lowered questioning one eye brow. "For what, my princess?"

"For everything."

o0o

SIX YEARS BACK

"Relena, where is your mother?"

The twelve years old girl looked up from her books. Looking at her angry father who was staring at her full with impatience, she mumbled.

"I don't know."

"What!" he shouted. "Is she not at home?" he glanced quickly around, she'd no idea what he was searching for.

"I don't know," Relena murmured again.

"What do you know than? You…" He swallowed his words back when he saw the little girl flinch. Her father sighed trying to get hold of his anger. "I have no idea where your mother is hanging around, but…" He was talking more to himself than to her. "Tell her when she shows up, I won't be back for tomorrow evening. In the morning I'll go straight to my office." He turned and was about to exit the large living room when he suddenly stopped in the doorway.

"Paygan!" he called. "Take care of Relena!" I don't know where that irresponsible woman is," he added in the end mumbling.

When her dad left Relena bent over her math books again. She tried to concentrate on the words on the papers, but she wasn't able to read them; she'd lost her concentration. Her thoughts wandered off. Relena glanced at the big wooden clock. 01.40 AM. Where was her father going at this hour? From his clothes she'd already concluded that he wasn't going to meet businesslike people… neither formal friends.

Relena could still smell the strong scent of his perfume in the room. He had been wearing a white trouser with a vivid black coloured shirt, like he was going out with – with his girlfriend.

The little girl raised her head up to look at the picture hanging opposite her. In the pic her father was smiling at her. He was a tall man with broad shoulders. His brown eyes were twinkling. He'd dark brown, curly hair and a very handsome face. How old was her dad actually now? He looked so young in the picture. He didn't look much older now. The photo had been taken two years ago. Relena's eyes went to her mother and then to the girl between the man and the woman.

'I.'

They looked like a happy family from outside, but inside…Relena stared at her young father again.

'Why did you marry each other if you can't live together?' she asked silently.

Her father was only 34 now. They'd marry just too quickly. And now…now she'd to bear everything, she was the victim of their faults. Relena looked up with tears in her eyes when Pagan entered the room. He glanced at her unfinished homework.

"Miss Relena, it's very late. Why don't you go to sleep?"

There was someone who cared about her after all. Pagan helped her to clear up the books. Suddenly Relena stopped and stared at him. He was busy piling up her books. It had gone through her that he didn't care about her. No, he wouldn't. She was only his job. Nothing more, nothing less, right? Did really no one care about her?

"Good night, Miss Relena," Pagan switched the lights off.

Relena was lying in her large bed staring at the white ceiling. He was near the exit of her bedroom when she suddenly called him. He turned to her.

"Pagan… does no one loves me?" Relena whispered in the dark.

A tear escaped from her eye and slid down her temple.

The sweat was covering her body and face again. Relena sat up in her bed, panting heavily. Why… why won't it stop following her? She closed her eyes trying to catch her breath again. It was so hot…

Relena pushed her blankets away. When she regained to normal breathing again, she finally realized the phone was ringing. The phone could've waken her. Relena flung her legs over the bed side and picked the receiver up. There was a heavy breathing on the other side to be heard.

"Hello?"

"Relena… o, finally you picked up. I – I…"

"Hilde, it's three o'clock in the morning. What ar-" She was interrupted by the dark haired woman again.

"Relena, I've no time for an explanation. Listen up, Relena, this is really shocking." Hilde paused making Relena even more anxious than she already was of Hilde's tensed voice. "Dorothy – Relena, Dorothy is murdered. She is dead, Relena… Dead."