Thanx to everyone who's reading my story! Please keep reading it and reviewing! I promise how more reviews all the sooner I'll update. And please wish me luck as in the coming week I have every day two tests. I'm gonna be dead
Anyway, enjoy this chapter, and I promise Heero will soon appear in the show!
Love,
Sery
Past Mistakes
Rate: M
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing
Past MistakesChapter five – Painful Memories
"Dorothy – Relena, Dorothy is murdered. She is dead, Relena… Dead."
Hilde's words were still spinning in Relena's mind. The news had been so shocking – so unexpected. She may not like Dorothy, but she'd never wished for her to get… murdered. But why… why would someone murder her? As far as Relena knew Dorothy lived alone. She'd no contacts with her family anymore since her parents died in an accident and she'd no siblings. Nor had she a boyfriend as far as Relena knew. Why would someone kill her?
Relena sighed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She looked out the window to the big building where Dorothy's apartment was. Around the flat were many police cars and there was a crowd of people standing there. Relena glanced at her watch before she got out the car.
3.30 AM
She'd no idea how she'd managed to drive the car by herself over to here. She breathed the fresh air deeply in. Slowly she started to walk over to the flat. She worked her way through the crowd with both her elbows. No one was paying attention to her. She was able to get to the entrance, but a policeman finally stopped her.
"Do you live here?" he asked her curtly.
He was a short; fat man, round his fifties. He had a very bad breath and was peering angrily at Relena.
"No," she snapped back.
Relena tried to enter the building, but the man stopped her again.
"Then you are not allowed to go inside, miss. There has been a murder, so you can't enter the buil-"
"I was her employer. She worked in my office!" Relena saw the fat man blink now.
"Miss Relena Darlian?" he asked her stuttering.
Relena sighed when he finally had recognised her. She nodded and started to enter the flat. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all to be the richest girl in town. At least not always. Relena heard him mumble sorry and it was his duty to prevent for her entering the flat and… and… He was regretting how he'd behaved. Relena felt she couldn't walk away just like this. The palm of her hand was placed flat against the cold material of the front door. She gave him a reassuring smile while she pushed the door open with her right hand. She didn't wait for his reaction, but she knew he'd go back home relieved. Sometimes just a single smile could do wonders.
Relena headed to the elevators and pushed the button to the fourth floor. When the elevator began to move she noted that her hands were trembling. Her heartbeat was increasing every second. She'd a tight feeling in her chest. Oh, what was wrong with her? She tried to reassure herself it was only because of lack of sleep. Thought she knew too well it wasn't that. She took a deep breath before she stepped out of the elevator after it had stopped on the fourth floor.
There were many people in the small hall. Cops, agents, men in white clothes…
They looked all very busy and were talking loudly. Not caring it wasn't even four AM in the morning. There were taken photographs. Some were searching probably for fingerprints and others were just talking. They all were looking very stressed and lacked most likely sleep too. No one was really paying attention to her.
Relena felt a bit awkward and herself why she'd come here in the first place; even when Hilde had forced – more over – begged her for not coming here. Suddenly she heard someone call out her name. Relena looked up and saw a woman in blue trousers and a white top approaching her. It was Hilde.
"Relena… why…? I told you not to come. What – why have you come here?" Relena avoided her questions.
"Where is Trowa?" she asked. Hilde glanced around as if searching for someone, or maybe for Trowa.
"I dunno, Relena. I tried to contact him, but his cell phone is off. No one is picking up at home too."
Relena glanced at the mobile phone in Hilde's left hand.
'What am I doing here,' Relena thought. 'Am I feeling sorry for Dorothy who would've loved it to ruin my wedding and always enjoyed it to spoil my mood in the morning? Why am I feeling like this – hell…?'
"Relena…"
"Hmm?" Relena looked up from her thoughts to Hilde. Hilde's face was full with worries.
"You go better home," she said while glancing back over her shoulder. Relena knit her eye brows.
"Why?"
"Don't be so stubborn, Relena! Just go home!" the dark haired woman was near yelling.
"Why are you so upset? I've come here so –"
"Why DID you come here when I told you not to?" Hilde sighed. She shook her head before she looked again at the blonde girl. "You won't be able to see the sight."
"I want to know, Hil-"
"You will regret it…"
'I'm already regretting so much, Hilde.'
"Do you think they'll let me in in her apartment?"
Relena looked over the woman to the entrance where people were going in and out. And they didn't look like just ordinary people.
"You can get a look from outside the door Relena… but the sight, it's horrible. You won't be able to bear it." She tried again to convince the girl dressed in a long red coat that reached her knees. Underneath it she was only wearing her thin nightgown.
Relena's face was pale, yet she didn't give up.
"No, Hilde. I came here to know more about who killed her… why… how… She was my secretary, she hated me, and still, I know I want to know everything about her case. And if it is possible, even help the police."
'What am I saying?' Relena was surprised by herself of what she just had said. But she wouldn't take her words back. Hilde was staring at the blonde girl. Still thinking… She knew she wouldn't be able to stop Relena.
"Okay, Relena, but don't forget I didn't warn you."
Relena's heart was pumping dangerously in her throat. She was lacking fresh air. They were nearing the door of Dorothy's apartment.
"Hold your breath," she heard Hilde whisper next to her ear when they reached the door.
Relena tried to swallow, but wasn't able to anymore. The sight made her blood curdle in their veins. Hilde squeezed a little at Relena's arm, but Relena didn't felt it. Not anymore.
Relena's eyes were seeing her secretary lying in the centre of what had to be her living room. Dorothy's eyes were still open; her face was pale, though it couldn't have been paler than Relena's face. Dorothy's face was turned towards the door opening where Relena was standing now. She didn't move at all. She was lying there still in shock.
Relena felt her legs quaver. She tried to find support from the wall, but before she could her legs gave out.
She fell on her knees and remained sitting there in the doorway. Still staring at the body of the dead woman. Hilde laid gently and anxiously her hand on Relena's shoulder, though the girl wasn't aware of it.
There had been a bullet fired through Dorothy's forehead. And she was lying… her head was lying in a pool of… blood. Relena's head was spinning now. She couldn't bear to see it anymore. She tried to turn her head, but failed. Her body wasn't listening to her anymore.
Blood… only blood. It was the only thing she was able to see…to think. Relena closed her eyes not wanting to see the horrible sight any longer. Not wanting to think about it again. Not wanting to see it again.
Blood…
pistol…
trigger…
mother…
Relena didn't realise when she fainted and landed in her nightmares again.
Relena was just ready with her homework when her mother rushed in the room. The thirteen years old girl looked up at her mother. Her mother was opening and closing drawers of the cupboards in the room. She was probably searching for something. And she seemed to be in a hurry.
"Mum, can I…"
Her mother's head snapped up. A few blonde lock fell into her face. She'd sunken cheeks and dark pouches under her eyes, though she had tried hardly to cover them with make-up. Without saying anything her mother left the room. Just as suddenly as she had come.
"… help you,"
Relena finally completed her sentence after her mom had left the room. She was now alone in the study again. Alone with only books to keep her company. Relena felt tears burning behind her eyes. Her parents had always been avoiding her. Always she had been left behind with Pagan. No one who cared a little about her. There was really no one. She'd only one friend. She smiled when she thought of her.
Hilde.
They were really good friends. But friends couldn't be with you all the time. One friend wasn't enough. Only friends weren't just enough.
Relena heard her mother going up the stairs. Why did they behave like this to her? Weren't they her real parents? It could've been that her real parents had been poor and had her sold to them. Or…?
Relena got out the room. She stared long at the stairs. Thinking about nothing. She heard a door being slammed shut somewhere above her. That was her parents' bedroom. Relena didn't know why, but she started to walk up the stairs to the been shut door.
She took a deep breath before she knocked on the closed door. She didn't know why she wanted to go to her mother. She didn't know what she would do or say.
Relena tried to listen if there moved anything after she had knocked, but it remained silent on the other side of the door. Relena knocked again. Twice. And this time harder. When she still didn't hear any sound she decided to try to open the door and go inside.
Slowly and with little noise she opened the heavy, wooden door. The door cracked and swung then finally open. Relena gulped some air down before she stepped in the room. At once she was her mother. She was standing near the window, staring outside at the grey sky. Relena shuffled towards her mother. What was she doing here alone? Her mother was standing with her back towards the smaller girl. Relena didn't know why but she felt how shivers ran down her spine. Her mother was just too silent. She had been always yelling and loudly talking when she would be at home. Relena didn't like her silence, although in some times she would've been yearning for it.
"Mum…"
Suddenly the woman turned towards the little girl. Relena stopped approaching her mother. Shocked she stared at the woman in the black dress. She was holding a gun in her right hand. Relena couldn't get enough air inside. Her breathing got uneven and her hands were in no time covered with sweat.
"Mum, what…?"
Relena wanted to take a step back, but wasn't able to move her limbs anymore. The look in her mother's eyes was empty, hollow. Slowly the woman raised her arm. She let the gun rest at her temple.
Relena wanted to cry, she wanted to run to her mother, wanted to stop her desperately. However her mother was she was her mother.
But motionless Relena just stared at her mother. Her mother was staring blankly back at her, like she was somewhere else, as if she wasn't seeing the small girl. Then gradually her mother closed her eyes. Her face was emotionless. She wasn't looking afraid, was fearing nothing.
Relena hear herself gasp when her mother pulled the trigger.
At the same time downstairs
"Pagan, where is…"
Relena's dad stopped his talking immediately when he and the butler heard a loud shot.
"Oh… no…"
Her father's eyes widened recognizing the terrible sound. He stared at Pagan for one second in horror before he came in action and ran out of the kitchen. He raced upstairs with Pagan following him at his heels. Out of breath he reached the largest bedroom of the villa. Shocked he stood there for a moment in the doorway.
Relena was still standing there, not moving a muscle. Her mouth was still open and her eyes were fixed on the woman who was dead now. She hadn't realised when her father had appeared in the room. She was staring blankly at the heap lying on the ground next to the king sized bed. Her head was lying in a pool of blood. Her tin body immovable behind it.
Relena felt how her legs suddenly gave out. She collapsed at the floor though never breaking eye contact with the dead body who had been her mother once. Her father was too horrified to do anything but stare at the woman who he'd loved so much at a time. He'd known all along that this would happen some day. But like this…
He tore his eyes away from the blonde woman to look at his daughter. In their fight, their battle they both had done injustice to their daughter. And what his wife had done now… in front of Relena…
He wondered if Relena would ever be able to come over the shock. She hadn't cried yet, was still quiet and had only been staring at the immobile body of her mother. He couldn't bear it anymore to see Relena – his daughter – like this. In this state. Slowly and cautiously he stepped towards his daughter and the heap lying on the ground. All Relena was able to see, smell, sense and think of was blood.
There were a few spatters of blood visible on her face though she didn't feel them and wasn't even aware of them. She didn't even feel the trembling hand of her father when he laid it unsurely on her slender shoulder. He wished Relena would cry.
And she did.
She cried her heart out when he hugged her – when he hugged her for the first time in seven years.
o0o
Relena wasn't able to get sleep in the week that followed after the incident. Every night she would've nightmares again. Nightmares in which her mother committed suicide right in front of her. Over and over again. They were nightmares of blood. Everywhere was only blood. She always woke up crying and her body completely covered with sweat.
After the death of his wife Relena's father finally realised how precious his family really was. How important Relena, HIS daughter, actually was. He cared for her now like he'd never done before. Cared like a real father. He made her still get some sleep by giving her sleeping pills in her glass of milk. He made sure she'd get enough sleep. At night when she woke up crying, he always rushed to her room. He rocked her then like she was still a baby until her eye lids would get heavy again. But slowly the nightmares didn't come every night.
Relena was vaguely conscious what happened around her in that one week after that seeing that horrible scene. She wouldn't go to school, couldn't eat. She could only think and see how a woman would commit suicide in front of her daughter. In front of her.
Blood.
She wasn't able anymore to cope with blood. She would feel sick seeing it. In worse cases she even fainted. And the nightmares would turn again.
Long after she'd recovered her father was still worried about her though he would never show it, because she'd be concerned too. Relena felt like that her father had always cared for her but always hidden it for her. Why, she didn't know. It felt suddenly so normal to have a father who always asked how you day had been, what you'd done and much more though in the past it had been opposed.
But he hadn't changed that dramatically as Relena had thought. One night when she couldn't get sleep she went to his room. She wanted to talk to him; maybe she would feel sleepy again than. But there was no one to see in his room when she arrived there.
There was only blood.
Blood.
Everywhere there was blood again.
It was hard to distinguish the face from the dark hair. Relena rubbed her eyes in confusion and frustration. The picture came a bit less blur now. Finally she recognised the dark haired woman.
"Hilde, ow…"
Relena grabbed her head with both hands. It was spinning and hammering dangerously. She didn't try to get up again.
"Hilde, did I… faint?" she asked though she knew the answer. Hilde slowly nodded.
"I'd said it, Relena," she replied quietly.
Relena let her head hung, trying to forget all those memories, those nightmares. She lifted her head up and glanced around not able to recall the place she was.
"Where am I?"
Hilde moved to sit next to her friend. She leaned back and pulled her legs up.
"You are in my house, Relena," she sighed. "How could you forget that?"
It was then that the blonde girl realised she was sitting in a bed. In Hilde's bed. Glancing around again she finally recognised the bedroom. On her left was Hilde's picture on the bedside table. In the snap she was smiling broadly at Relena. Her eyes sparkling, and her dark locks hanging loosely. With her dark glossy hair over her lean shoulders and her white summer dress she looked even more pretty than she already was. The light blue painted room was cosy and bright. How could she forget her best friend's room? What a fool she was. But that dream…
Mother…
"I'm sorry Hilde. You know I – "
"Don't say anything, Relena. I know, okay?"
Relena smiled weakly. "Thanks Hilde, you're such a sweetie. I love you."
Hilde smiled though she'd still a worried look in her eyes. She flung her legs over the bedside and stood up turning back to Relena.
"I love you too, Relena."
To hear her say the words so honestly Relena felt the tears burning behind her eyes. She blinked a few times with her eyes. She wanted to know what'd happened – what had happened to Dorothy. Relena sat quickly up and stared piercingly at Hilde, showing she was serious now.
"Who… who killed Dorothy?"
Hilde shook her head. "Police's trying to find that out."
Relena stayed quiet for a moment then asked: "When did she, when was she killed?"
"An hour of two ago before the police arrived. I think round midnight."
Suddenly Relena narrowed her eyes. "How did you know that… that."
Hilde rolled her eyes. "It was just co-incidence. I'd heard from Trowa her outburst. By chance I was there nearby. I thought to talk to her, find out what she actually wanted from you. But… I saw her dead on the floor in a puddle of blood. The door was left open. It was a horrible mess there in the room. She'd probably first a fight with her killer."
"Did the police find any evidence?" Relena asked hopefully.
Hilde looked for a long time at her best friend sitting in her bed. "No Relena, but don't get involved in this. I mean, forget you've even known her. If the police ask, say you don't know about anything. You didn't know anything about your secretary's life and you'd no problems with her at all. Okay?"
Relena lowered her eye brows hearing Hilde say this. "Why should I do that? Well, actually I don't know much about her, but she was my secretary. Of course I'm involved in this."
Hilde sighed. " But don't tell them than how your relationship with her was."
"Why?" Relena pulled the covers off still holding her friend's gaze. Hilde rolled her eyes.
"What do you think why? Of course they'll suspect you! She, well, liked your fiancé, she hated you, you ha-"
"I disliked her behaviour Hilde. I never really hated her," Relena interrupted her.
She looked down in her lap. Once at a time they both had laughed together, talked about so many things… Since Relena had been fifteen Dorothy's worked at a young age in her father's office. What was now hers. But when Dorothy had met Trowa… she'd changed totally. She'd always peer at Relena eyes full with hate. Her voice would be always cold, ice cold since then. Relena'd never mentioned it her dad, because Dorohy'd always done her job well and her father was pleased with her. Maybe she'd never mentioned it too because she'd still seen her as a friend and had wanted to be friends again. But Dorothy…
Relena looked up to Hilde.
"I think, Hilde, that…that maybe I'll miss her."
Relena saw that Hilde was startled at her statement.
"How can you miss her! She even withdraw money from your bank account without your permission."
"But she never that my company would go bankrupt." Hilde closed her eyes.
"I know it's quite strange, she did her job though she hated you so much.
Relena's eyes saddened. "That's one of the reasons I didn't fire her," she mumbled more to herself than Hilde.
The woman with the dark hair stroke a few locks of hair out of her face.
"And what were the other reasons?"
Relena bit on her lower lip. After a long silence she spoke again.
"We were friends once," her voice was tearful, though she wasn't crying. "And cut this sentimental nonsense. I don't want to talk more about this rubbish," Relena suddenly snapped. at Hilde.
"Ok, ok Relena."
Hilde said, knowing that the memories were being too much for Relena. Hilde walked towards her dresser what was standing opposite the bed. She was thinking about what safe topic they could talk.
Relena closed her eyes, but she saw immediately the horrible sight of Dorothy again. In blood.
Blood.
At once she opened her eyes again. The blonde stepped out of the bed too to Hilde's surprise.
"Relena, you need to sleep!" she commanded.
Weakly Relena smiled stroking a few strands of her aside.
"I can't catch sleep again, Hilde, you know that too."
'Those nightmares…'
Hilde cast her eyes down and looked up then again.
"Where are your parents?" Relena remembered suddenly.
"Oh, in their bedroom."
"Sleeping?"
"By now they would be sleeping again." Hilde glanced at the clock. "Six o'clock in the morning," she yawned.
Relena smiled. "You need more sleep than that I do, silly. Go sleep." Relena picked her coat up from the dresser. "I'm going back home."
"You can stay here," Hilde suggested but Relena shook determined her head.
"No Hilde, you've helped me a lot. Now just go to get some sleep. I'm fine on my own."
"You're sure?" Hilde asked anxiously.
"Yes I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
Relena glanced in the room making sure she wasn't forgetting anything. With sleepy eyes Hilde stared at the blonde. She touched the front pocket of her blue trousers. There was something in it.
"Oh, Relena," Hilde said remembering again what it was. Relena was near the door. She turned hearing Hilde's call.
"Yes."
"I almost forgot to give you this back." She laid the car keys in Relena's hand. "I drove your car."
"And yours?"
"Still parked there. I can get it later." she winked but couldn't hold back another yawn. Relena smiled and shook her head.
"Sleep now, Hilde. I'll call you in the evening."
Quickly she pecked her cheek and got out of the room. Hilde stared the blond after.
'Stupid,' she thought. 'Always trying to hide your emotions. Always hiding it.'
She shook her head. Relena… Hilde took off her sandals while thinking about her best friend. She'd been so scared, so shocked when Relena had fainted. If the men there hadn't helped her, she wouldn't have been able to carry her to the car. She'd been in such a panic but had tried to keep her head cool. Relena had been sweating and turning all the time in the bed while she was asleep. Though Relena hadn't told it her, Hilde knew what she'd dreamt. Hilde stepped in her bed and was about to turn off the light when she heard Relena cheerfully calling her.
"O yes, Hilde! I'm heading to the police station. Bye and sweet dreams!"
The door was slammed shut behind the blonde. Hilde sighed but smiled then. She'd always been so stubborn.
o0o
"Okay, okay. I can't handle this anymore. I'm tired and stressed out!"
Hopeless Relena placed the fingers of both her hands at her temples. Trowa was staring amused at her.
"Trowa! You know that it isn't so funny. Since two days I don't have a secretary and I can't find anyone who is good enough. I can't cope with this extra work anymore."
But Trowa was still smiling and staring at his lovely fiancée who was sitting behind her desk.
"How pitiful," he smiled.
"Well, Trowa, if you're here to make my mood worsen you better coul-"
"I can be your secretary," a voice suddenly said.
Relena stared at the person in the doorway and leaned back in her chair.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
Okay, curious who it will be?