Chapter Three: Living With Him
Author's Note: Just want to say sorry if Orochimaru seems out of character. I just like to think that for this story, he's a little bit softer than he is usually portrayed. He will get more to himself as the chapters go on. Also forgive me if this chapter seemed crappy. I kind of hit a writer's block with this one. XP
As we both know, I wouldn't be here alone and broken if another family has taken me into their home. The day after three weeks have passed, Orochimaru stayed true to his word. The minute he walked through the door, I took hold of his legs again with a big stupid smile on my face. After signing some papers and given a few lectures on how to take care of me, Orochimaru stood up, scooped me up in his arms and left without another word. He was a man with no patience over tedious things like adopting a child. I remember seeing Keiko's face, shaking her head as she gave me a small wave goodbye. I waved a little back, just to be nice I guess.
I remember the first time I was brought to his home. For a highly respected man, Orochimaru didn't have much to show for it, especially with the place he lived. It was a small apartment in a building that was close to the training grounds. For Konoha, it was on the poorer side of things, the building itself looking worn down, the inside no better. However, it was a step up from what I lived in before, so I was still excited when he carried me up the stairs. Stopping in front of a door on the fifth floor, he put me down.
"Here we are then..." he said quietly, pulling out a key and opening the door. He stepped out of the way, scooting me in so he can follow and close the door again. The apartment was partially well kept though it was easy for it was partially bare as well. The small kitchen was clean with only a few appliances on the counter and a couple dirty dishes in the sink. I took a couple of small steps, looking all over the apartment. There wasn't much furniture and in one corner of the living room there was a pile of scrolls and papers. I turned around to look back at Orochimaru expectantly, waiting for what would happen next. Ha ha...I think that was the only time I saw him look awkward, rubbing the back of his head with a little bit of uncertainty. This was definitely a new thing for him...
Eventually he decided to give me a tour of the place, or rather show me the rooms that weren't already easily visible. Other than the kitchen and the living room, there was a bedroom, a smaller room and the bathroom. His bedroom had the most items in it, most of it his clothes, equipment, and more scrolls and other research items. Obviously the smaller room was to be mine sine there was a small sleeping mat set up in there. "I know it's not much but it'll have to do for now..." he said, as he leaned against the doorframe, looking around the room. I walked up to the sleeping mat and crouched down, looking at the little stuffed toy that was on the pillow. It was an old doll that hadn't had any real detail to it with old button eyes and basic cotton fabric. I could tell that it had some wear and tear from the color of the fabric and a couple of patches.
I heard Orochimaru sigh, making me look at him. "That used to be mine when I was little...about your age..." he said. "Maybe you'll put it to good use again..." he finished, looking back at me. I looked back at the doll and picked it up before walking up to Orochimaru. He smiled, patting my head. "So I guess I should tell you of the rules around this place..." he said, laughing a little.
As to be expected, living under Orochimaru's roof wasn't a walk in the park. He always expected a high level of good behaviour; keep up with my chores and learning, never get in his way when he's doing something important or researching, and go over to the neighbour's if he's not home or previously stated that he's gone on a mission. All were pretty much easy to follow, I learned to keep to myself at a very early age...He always expected a lot from me...I didn't know why but I did anything to keep him happy, to make him not regret taking me. I wanted him to be proud.
It was only a couple of days after living with him that I started to talk again, my words slurred and unused. I remember him sitting me down a couple of times, teaching me how to speak better. One night he was having some difficulty trying to teach me how to say his name. I couldn't for the life of me say Orochi for the longest time...He gave up when it was getting an hour past my bedtime, settling for 'Maroo...' He said he couldn't wait until I got to school because then he wouldn't have to teach me every basic thing like speech because he was too busy to do so.
It was true too. There were many times when he would be gone for weeks, while I stay with the elderly neighbour next door. I missed him because he was the only person I had. I didn't play much with the other children, happy to be with Orochimaru and my doll that I dubbed Katsu. I got lonely easily when he was gone, not liking to think that the apartment was all empty save for me to collect an item or two...Sometimes I refused to go in there by myself if I knew it was empty...When the lights were out, it reminded me of the cellar and the darkness...I didn't want to go back to that. Not at that age anyways. Of course, you can't always get what you want...
Jiraiya and Tsunade would sometimes visit either together or separately. When they come together, all three of them acted stiffly, like they could never truly act as the good friends that they were inside. Not unlike when one came alone. It seems odd when I think about it. Orochimaru relaxes and acts more normal when he's with at least one of them at a time. There were a couple of times when he and Jiraiya had good long conversations over drinks after a long mission. With Tsunade, he seemed to talk softer, sitting a little closer to her once in a while. Tsunade didn't seem to mind, smiling every time he made a little gesture towards her. There were a couple of times when I watched her give him a casual kiss on the cheek. It was during those times when I would come and barge in and let my presence be known, going up to Tsunade and asking her to play tea with me.
Both of them have accepted Orochimaru taking me in rather easily. Yes, Jiraiya was a bit sceptical at first, Tsunade was confused...Their teacher, Sarutobi was confused as well but seemed kind of proud that Orochimaru has decided to take care of a child. I found out later that it was because he still worried about Orochimaru, that his favourite student was slipping away from compassion for humanity at the time...He thought that taking care of a child would teach Orochimaru that caring for another person was not a bad thing...Or at least, I think that was the reason. I wasn't fully told the explanation. Just a couple of blurbs from Jiraiya in a bar when he was so drunk he didn't recognize me...
So I lived that way with Orochimaru for a good few years. I started school about a year after being brought to Konoha, becoming one of the top students very quickly. It wasn't that I was incredibly smart; I just knew to work hard with my studies. One of Orochimaru's rules that I mentioned earlier. And so my routine has changed to waking up in the morning, going to school, coming home to check if Orochimaru was there or not. If not I would go to the neighbour's apartment and wait there until otherwise informed if he was coming home late or not at all. I didn't like it when he came home late at night...
I remember sometimes waking up from my mat, hearing noises and scuffling outside my door. Sitting up, I can see a light through the crack of my door, signalling that Orochimaru was back from who knows whatever errand he was doing. Tiptoeing towards my door in my pajamas, I would sit on my legs and open it a crack. I watch him move about, putting his things away before taking a seat at the dinner table beside the kitchen. He always looked tired when he came back, taking off his forehead protector and running his fingers through his long black hair. I always felt a little sad when I see him like this. He pushes himself so hard to be the best, not caring what it costs...I was always taken aback when he sighs like he did then, sitting up and looking at my door.
"You should be sleeping ..." he said, his golden eyes looking at my red ones. I opened the door further, looking a little sheepish. I think I was about eight at this point...Walking out of the room, I walked towards him. "I couldn't sleep..." I said quietly. He looked at me with half closed eyes before he motioned me to sit down. "Seems like that every time I come back from a late night mission..." he said quietly, raising an eyebrow. I blushed, I didn't think he noticed me all those times before...
"You can't always stay up late for me Amaya..." he said quietly. "You have school to attend to and you need as much energy as you can get..." I looked at the table, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. "I know..." I said quietly, swinging my legs underneath my chair. He sighed, frowning. "Then why do you still do it? I tell you time and time again..." he started to say before I interrupted him. "Because I'm scared..." I said, looking up at him. He stopped, looking a little surprised. "Scared of what?" he said a bit more coldly than he meant to. My eyes started to water as I took his coldness seriously, a blush on my face. Seeing this, he looked concerned. "Amaya..." he said, getting out of his seat to kneel in front of me. "What are you scared of...?" he asked quietly.
"That you won't come back..." I said, avoiding his gaze. I was thinking of my mother then. I remember the first couple of days in Konoha where I knew that Mama was left behind for a reason...and it was because she couldn't come back...I wasn't fully aware of the dangers of being a ninja back then, but it doesn't mean that I wasn't afraid of someone leaving me alone again. Alone was just as scary as the darkness...Even now I'm afraid, not knowing if I'll lose my mind as I fade away from this reality.
Orochimaru seemed to understand luckily, placing his hands over my little ones. "Don't be..." he said, looking seriously into my eyes. "I can take care of myself Amaya...And I'll make you a promise..." he said, smiling slightly. "I promise you that I will always, ALWAYS come back..." he said. I smiled at that. "Really?" "Really..." he confirmed, squeezing my hands. "Now..." he said, standing up, "I say it's about time you went to sleep..." he said. I pouted a little, raising my arms so he would pick me up. He rolled his eyes, giving into my simple request. "Can I sleep with you tonight...?" I asked, resting my head on his shoulder. He sighed. "Just this once..."he said, walking towards his room. I smiled, hugging him.
If I could go back to those years in Konoha, where I lived peacefully, I would do so with no second thought. If I knew that my life would be like this at the time I still had the choice to stay, I would never have left...
There was always some form of excitement in Konoha, whether it be in school or outside in the city itself. I always enjoyed going to the festivals, even if I didn't have a formal kimono to wear. One year Tsunade was nice enough to lend me one of her old ones. I was so happy, wanting to wear it all the time. Tsunade thought it was very sweet, taking hold of my hand when we walked down the streets. Orochimaru couldn't be there that year, away on a mission again. Not surprising. Tsunade offered to take care of me while he was gone and I enjoyed my time with her. I loved her stories of the three sannin when they were kids my age. From what I can tell they got in a lot of trouble. Even Orochimaru has caused some mischief a couple of times according to Tsunade, though not surprisingly Jiraiya was the culprit the other 80 of the time.
I could almost say that life seemed perfect about now. I had a home with a caring man, I was educated, intelligent, independent to some extent... What I really lacked were friends, someone my own age to talk to besides the older people who visited Orochimaru. It wasn't until I was eleven that I met a very important person in my life...I wish I could see her now...Mitarashi Anko...