Chapter 9

Pip and Larry were bored. They had been standing around various places in the market waiting to be spotted by Daisy and Bets and hadn't even seen the girls yet. Fatty had wandered off on his own. Larry was too afraid to open his mouth in case his false teeth fell out and Pip felt the same about his cheek pads. So neither boy could even talk to each other.

"This is jolly uncomfortable," thought Pip. "How does Fatty do it all day?"

Larry cocked his head at him, indicating they should find somewhere else to stand. Pip replied with a nod, and they walked down the common. Delicious smells reminded boys they were famished. Finally, Pip could stand it no longer. Looking around quickly, he pulled the cheek pads out of his mouth and put them in his pocket. Larry saw him and did the same with his false teeth.

"I say! That's better," they said together.

"How about something to eat while we wait for the girls?" asked Larry.

"Jolly good," replied Pip. "How about that cake stall over there?"

"No, that's Mrs Morris, our cook's sister," said Larry. "I'd hate to be recognised!"

They moved onto the next stall and selected some food for lunch.

"You lads want to watch your pockets," warned the lady as they handed over their money. "I've seen two little gypsy girls hanging around here today. Rob you as soon as look at you, they would."

"Er, thanks for the warning," replied Pip in his deepest voice possible. Larry also gave his thanks and they took their food to eat on a small hill near the amusements.

"Gosh, look at that fellow's toy dog!" said Pip enviously. "He must be a dead shot on the coconut shy to win such an enormous prize!" He pointed down to where Dick and Anne were sitting on their bench.

"I say, Pip! There's those two gypsy girls the lady at the cake stall warned us about!" Sure enough, two dirty little girls were standing and whispering a few feet back from the bench.

"You don't think they plan to rob those people, do you?" asked Pip nervously.

"Well, they look jolly sneaky," admitted Larry.

"Who do?" asked a voice behind them.

"Fatty!" said the boys in unison. Fatty stood behind them, still looking ever so much the village policeman.

"Having a lunch break then?" he asked, helping himself to a biscuit.

"I say, Fatty, look over there. The lady who sold us this food warned us about two gypsy girls that had been hanging around. Do you think they plan to pickpocket those two on the bench there?" asked Pip. Fatty looked to where he was pointing. The two girls had started creeping towards the bench.

"Rather!" he said. "I say! How about I go down there wagging my finger and chase them off! Or should I say 'Orf'!"

"Brilliant, Fatty," said Larry. Fatty puffed out his chest and began swaggering down towards the bench. As he did, one of the gypsies did something very strange. Springing forward, she tugged hard at the girl's hair!

The girl cried out in pain and shock. Fatty ran in seriousness towards them.

"I say! What's going on here!" he cried. "Why are you pulling that girl's hair?"

The two gypsy girls were looking shocked.

"I – we thought . . ." stammered the smallest.

"Anne! Whatever's the matter!" Julian and George had come running over to find Anne in tears and Dick looking wild.

"Police! Arrest those children!" said Dick fiercely. "They were trying to rob us!"

"No, we weren't!" cried Daisy. "We thought you were someone else!"

"A likely story," sniffed Dick. "Make them turn out their pockets, please, sir!"

Fatty looked hard at the two sobbing girls and noticed the blonde curl escaping from the smaller one's knitted cap.

"Why, it's Bets and Daisy," he thought to himself. "Cheeky things! Getting dressed up themselves!" He struggled not to smile. "They must have thought these kids were Pip and Larry in disguise." Just as he was about to sternly march them away for a Talking-To, who should arrive but Goon!

"Hie there! What's going on here?" he asked in his usual infuriating manner. "Why haven't I been informed there's another policeman on patrol?"

"Blast!" thought Fatty. "Now I'll have to explain what I'm doing here!" Keeping his face turned away from the fat policeman, he said in his best Serious Voice, "I'm Constable Murphy, sir. Just dropped in to the market on my way home to Macon. Saw a bit of a commotion and just sorting it out now."

"Well, this is my patch, see?" glowered Goon. "Any sorting out will be done by me!" The other officer made a noise under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "Turnip head!"

"All a bit of a misunderstanding," replied Fatty and motioned to the two girls. "You run along home now, you understand!" He mouthed "Garden shed!" and winked. Recognition dawned almost immediately and the girls scampered off towards the Trottevilles.

"Here now! You can't just let them run orf!" spluttered Goon. "There has been an Incident!"

"No incident," said Fatty firmly and turned to Anne. "Miss, I'm sorry about your hair. I think these girls thought you were a friend and played a trick on you."

"Come on, Anne," said Dick, trying to cheer her up. "Here. You can have my toy dog, if you like!"

"Thank you, Dick," sniffled Anne, clutching the large dog and burying her face in its fur.

Suddenly there was loud whooping and hollering behind them and Goon turned immediately to see two boys capering about on a small hill nearby.

"Kids!" he muttered. "I'll tell them to clear orf!"

Fatty recognised this immediately as Pip and Larry creating a diversion so he might slip away unscrutinised by Goon. He took the opportunity at once to hastily escape, leaving the Famous Five in bewilderment.

"That was jolly odd," said Julian.

"Almost mysterious!" added George.

"No mysteries!" came the muffled voice of Anne, still buried in the dog's fur.